Conversations with God

Have you ever just realized that you feel truly alone and like no one really cares. I mean obviously your family cares, but you still feel alone, like no one really understands what you are going through? And then have you ever felt the reassurance from someone you can't see with your eyes, but you can feel with your heart? Have you ever felt like someone was right there next to you with their arm around you, or their hands on your shoulders telling you everything is going to be okay?

Lately I have been talking to God like all the time. I don't think He gets annoyed with me. At least if He does, He doesn't say anything. I absolutely love talking to God. I do it all day long because He's always there. Which makes me feel special because although I know He's way busy running worlds without end, He finds time to talk to me.
I was driving back to work the other day and I was listening to the Fray's new song that I have now mentioned in my last 3 blogs, sorry about that, any way, I was listening to it and the first verse goes:

"I found God on the corner of first and Amistad,
where the west was all but won,
All alone, smokin his last cigarette
I said "where you been?"
He said "Ask anything."
Where were you when everything was falling apart?
All my days spent by the telephone,
never rang, all I needed was a call
on the corner of first and Amistad
Lost and insecure
You found me
You found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you?
Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me
You found me"

Okay, so I heard the first few lines and me being the little sarcastic punk that I can be said "Yeah, Heavenly Father, where were you when everything was falling apart?" referring to my really crappy last couple of months and without hesitation, I had the answer there in my mind. "I was right there next to you every step of the way. I have never left your side. I will always be there for you." It was pretty neat. One of those "WHOA" experiences when you feel like Moses after he saw the burning bush and realize that God not only knows your name, but everything that's going on in your life too...Oh, not to mention He cares about you and the choices you make in your life.

So, like I said, I've been talking to God a lot lately which has been awesome. But I was feeling really unsure about a few things and I wanted to give up on a few things and I just keep feeling like I shouldn't even though everything tells me I should, I feel like God is telling me not to just yet and that the timing isn't right yet. Have you ever felt like that? Like you know what you're supposed to do and as much as you would like to take a step towards it now, the timing isn't right and God tells you "not yet"? That's how I feel right now. For the first time since my mission I have really felt the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost like all the time. Not that I'm a bad person, I just don't live the life of a missionary anymore and so I haven't been constantly asking God if I am on the right street or talking to the right person and all that. I honestly didn't think I would feel the spirit this strong all the time like I have been lately. And at the same time I feel the doubt and depression that satan tries to push on me. Telling me I'm not good enough, I'm not doing enough, I'll never achieve my goals, I'll never be worth anything and if I didn't have God with me, I know I would listen to those other thoughts. I feel like something big is about to happen and it kinda scares me a little bit, but I feel confident that my Father in Heaven will guide me to the correct choice.