Christmas is rough sometimes, you know? And I hate being that person that's like "Christmas is hard because..." when in general I power through the season relatively well. The actual holiday itself when my huge family gets together and everyone is talking about their own families and what their kids are up to can be hard sometimes. Two years ago was probably the hardest because I had been graduated from college for a year and had spent the year sending out hundreds of resumes and filling out thousands of applications and had absolutely nothing to show for it.

Don't get me wrong, I have an amazing family that genuinely does care about me. I know they love me, but it's the nature of being single during the holidays. It's bound to happen. And I've learned to accept this and move on.

This year, however, has been hard. Not because I'm still single and alone at Christmas, but just little things that have built up over the past few months and then this week over nothing too serious I just kind of lost it a little bit. I was extremely frustrated over the situation I found myself in. I am behind on Christmas projects and I've got a million worries and frustrations trailing behind me. And Heaven hasn't been quite as vocal as I'd like. In short, I have felt alone the entire month and have been carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.

I ended up talking to a good friend yesterday about all of this. I told him about the frustrating situation this week and how I had yelled at God over it. He laughed a little and said "I don't know why, but I like the image of you yelling at God," and then he paused and said something that really hit me. He said, "but isn't that what we're supposed to do? Tell God everything. Get it all out and put it in His hands. How can we expect to receive guidance if we don't tell him the problem?"

This Christmas season has been full of good things, as well as stressful things too. This conversation with my friend was exactly what I needed to start letting go of the stress I've been gripping with white knuckles, worried other people would know my worries and judge me, or worse, try to fix them. I am terrible at asking for help. Last week in a moment of doubt and frustration, I typed out a text message for a friend asking for help and then didn't send it because I told myself she was already dealing with so many other things in her life I didn't want to be another burden.

I think too often we worry we will be a burden to others so we keep to ourselves instead of asking for help and allowing others to be that help and guidance that we need. I'm still learning that one. I'm still learning a lot of things. But I am especially grateful for the opportunities I have to learn. To become better. To work harder. I am not a patient person, not really. I have learned to accept that things will not happen on my timetable, but that doesn't mean I am okay with it in my head. Reaching the lovely age of 33 as a single woman as taught me a lot of things. The most important is that I absolutely can not live this life alone. I have to trust in God and my Savior if I want to succeed. And I have seen so much success! I have a book that will be published (eventually)! I have an amazing group of friends, some of whom have literally drop everything to help me. I've got a great family that loves me and cares about me. All of these wonderful blessings have come from praying and listening.

How does this all tie into Christmas? Well, like I said before, I don't want to be one of those people telling you how hard Christmas is, I want to be one of those people to help you see how wonderful Christmas is despite whatever challenges you face. Are you feeling {insert specific struggle here}? Christ understands. He truly does. And this is a time of year to celebrate Him. So when things get really lonely and quiet, pour your heart and soul into learning more about His life. Read the Christmas story. Focus on him. It'll help. I promise. I've faced so many challenges in the months of November and December, it's not even a joke anymore. But you're not alone, not really.  Thanks to a babe wrapped in swaddling clothes. Thanks to a Savior who put all of us before himself. A brother who took all of our pains, afflictions and temptations of every kind so that He might succor us. A friend who wants nothing more than to wipe away the tears from our eyes.

Sometimes Knights in Shining Armor are Mountain Climbers in Jeeps

It's been a while, I know. That's my bad. That's all on me. I've been busy. I've also had writer's block. And before you give me a million things I could have done to get over writer's block, I should probably explain that it wasn't a lack of story or desire that blocked me, but realizing I actually had some really serious personal issues to work through before I could wholeheartedly write. That's why I was blocked. And no amount of writing or forcing of anything was going to break through the personal struggles I am still dealing with.

But, this is not why I'm writing today. I've had a lot on my mind the last 24 hours and writing is one of the ways I express my emotions best. A friend of mine is missing. He went to climb a mountain on Wednesday night and hasn't been seen or heard from since. Granted, I haven't talked to him in about two-ish years, but let me tell you why I've been thinking about Derrik the last few days.

Derrik is an amazing person. I met him when I was in college and he was friends with one of my roommates. We lived on the third floor and he would climb up to our balcony to come for a visit. As a reward, we'd give him an otter pop. But that's not why I appreciated Derrik. One Sunday night I was baking, which I did often, and he stopped by to see my roommate who wasn't home. I was listening to a movie in the living room very loudly and the buzzer in the kitchen went off just as he knocked on the door. I opened it in passing and hollered to come in as I walked back to the kitchen to pull out a fresh batch of rolls. He walked in and asked if my roommate was home and when I told him she wasn't and offered him a roll, he sat down at our table and we talked for about an hour. Because that's who Derrik was. He was a friend to everyone and loved talking to people.

After that first encounter, he would often leave notes saying hi or bye if I wasn't around when he came by. It always made my day brighter when he stopped by. And I appreciated the times he did stop by and we chatted for a few minutes. More than once he stopped by on particularly hard days when I just needed a friend. I know that he was the answer to several prayers through a particularly rough few months.

All of this led up to my favorite memory of Derrik, though. I went to a church meeting that I was not looking forward to. It was a huge meeting for thousands of young single adult members of my church. I had seriously considered just skipping it. No one would have known I didn't go. But I felt like I should and the twenty-minute drive there was spent praying that I wouldn't have to go or that I wouldn't have to be alone.

I kept telling myself that if I couldn't easily find parking, I wouldn't stay, but then I found a perfect spot. Then I told myself that if I had to walk in alone, I would just leave, but as I said that a jeep pulled in next to my car and Derrik popped out and asked if he could walk with me. Once in the building, we parted ways and I walked into the auditorium filled as far as I could see with people. And not a single easily accessible seat. I am six feet tall and for whatever reason, I wore 3-inch heels that day. Everywhere I looked I just saw people staring at me like an idiot and I couldn't do it. So I turned around to leave and as I got out to the hallway leading to the outside doors, I ran into Derrik. He smiled at me and told me I was going to come sit with him. I really hoped he didn't see the tears that slipped from my eyes that day. I wasn't crying because for a moment I had never felt more alone. I was crying because once again Derrik had shown up just at the right time and was the exact person I needed.

And so, for all of these reasons and so many more, my heart breaks tonight for his family and his friends. This will be the third night in freezing cold weather completely alone and I wish with all of my heart that I could be the friend he needs right now. That I could be the one to help him for once. But all I can do is pray to a loving God to watch over my friend and if Derrik's life has come to an end, I pray that God will bless him for the amazing person he is. I know that my life has been blessed by knowing him and I will always be grateful for the kindness he has always shown me.

Hallmark is Dead to Me.

Anyone that knows me well knows that I am a Hallmark junkie. I watch ALL the movies, I watch all the shows. I watch everything on the channel, and I love it. Well...I did love it. Until last night. My guess is that hardly anyone will read this, and mostly I'm watching this for myself because I have never been so frustrated with writing and storytelling in my life...and I'm an ENGLISH MAJOR. Do you know how many crappy manuscripts and screenplays I've read?! And yet, the writers of When Calls the Heart managed to surprise me with some of the most manipulative and horrifying writing I've seen in a long time.

Major spoilers if I don't know you and you do watch When Calls the Heart but for whatever reason are not caught up to last nights episode. I'll just put this warning in big bold letters here:

SPOILERS for: When Calls the Heart, Downton Abbey, The Flash, Doctor Who, DC Legends of Tomorrow, Designated Survivor, Merlin and Jane The Virgin. If you are not current on most of these shows skip down to the big CONCLUSION section:

Jack is dead. Like, so so dead. Six feet in the ground, dead as a doornail, dead. He's not coming back.

This was frustrating to me because I have felt that the last season and a half has been severely lacking in any character development for our favorite mountie. He was gone for most of it which really makes it hard to love a character. And I realize that Daniel Lissing approached the writers and asked to be written out, that's fine. I actually mean it. It's really okay. Because there are ways to write out a character without making your entire fan base angry. Would you like some examples? Great, I've already got them ready for you:

Dan Stevens as Matthew Crawley in Downton Abbey. We all knew he was going before his character died, and I think it helped to prepare a little bit. He died in a car accident the day his son was born. Tragic, yes. Unbearable? No. We knew it was coming and were able to take solace in the fact that he and Mary had a son and that there was an heir for Downton. I still love Dan Stevens and have enjoyed watching his career. I still watched the show after he left. Because they didn't emotionally traumatize me.

Robbie Amell as Ronnie aka Firestorm on The Flash. Dude straight up flew into a giant swirling tornado above a city and never came back. He was not as well beloved as other characters, but his death was tragic because, much like Jack and Elizabeth, he married the girl of his dreams mere hours before he gave his life to save mankind. We watched as he went from being presumed dead, to really alive and then back to dead again. It might not have been as tragic because we began thinking that he was already dead, but it still hurt. Not to the point, I wouldn't watch the show, and three seasons later I'm still an avid fan.

Victor Garber as Martin Stein on DC Legends of Tomorrow. Speaking of Firestorm, Ronnie's other half, Professor Stein, was killed off just this year. He was a beloved character that brought so much to the show. His death was heroic and not entirely expected. Stein had previously announced he was leaving, so we were all expecting it. However, the writers didn't pull the rug out from under us, and we were able to shed tears and say goodbye to the professor without hating the writers or producers of the show. Again, still an avid watcher and fan.

Every actor that has ever appeared on Doctor Who. This show has a way of pulling you in, making you love a character and then ugly crying when they leave. I'll never forget Billie Piper's departure from the show. It was the first time I full on ugly cried over a fictional character. And they didn't even kill her off! They just put her in her own universe without the man she'd grown to love more deeply than anyone ever could love another person. Russell T. Davies was not afraid to kill characters off, and he did it in a way you cried and thanked him for the journey. THAT is good writing. That is how you properly kill a character off.

Natasha McElhorne as Alex Kirkman on Designated Survivor. She was the First Lady, and she got hit on her way home with her motorcade. I'm still not entirely sure how this storyline ultimately plays out, but that was insane, heartbreaking and also compelling. They killed off a main character without completely upsetting the fan base. Most of us are still reeling from it because the characters on the show are still dealing with it. Beautifully written scripts with amazing storytelling. Definitely still a fan of this one and I really liked Alex. Definitely still watching.

Bradley James as King Arthur on Merlin. This one was so hard to watch. He was King Arthur. He was supposed to live happily ever after with Guinevere. This death was devastating. It was the series finale, but it was so beautifully written that had there been another season, I would have watched every minute of it. And still, even with the devastating loss, I'm still a fan of the show.

Brett Dier as Michael Cordero Jr. on Jane the Virgin. He was such a driving force for the show. He was such a fan favorite and yet, they totally killed him off. He was young, married the main girl, they were talking about having another kid and his heart literally just stopped. It was tragic, I shed a few tears, but I didn't hate the show because the writers knew what they were doing.





CONCLUSION:

Now, I feel like I've given plenty of examples from several genres and all had the same result. I didn't hate the show after. But, with When Calls the Heart I honestly don't know that I want to keep watching, and this is why: I watch Hallmark for an escape from the harsh realities of the world.

I do not watch Hallmark to feel sad or anxious or worried. When you think hallmark you generally think of happy storylines that always seem to work out. And up until this season of the show, that was true. It has absolutely nothing to do with Daniel Lissing leaving the show. It has everything to do with how the writers chose to write him out.

Jack Thornton had to die. There really was no other way around it, and that's fine as evidence above. You CAN write out main characters without killing your fan base. I'm angry with the how. Jack spends a year in the Northern Territory, comes home and marries Elizabeth, we're all good, and then he gets sent off to train mounties. The issue I have is that he assured Elizabeth that he would be fine when the writers, the cast, and everyone except for the viewers knew that Daniel Lissing would not be returning. And then they intentionally lulled into a false sense of security because we all believed that he'd be okay because this is Hallmark. Had he died in the Northern Territories, we would have been okay for the most part. Had he died taking bad guys into Cape Fullerton, we would have been okay because he was a Mountie and his job is dangerous. BUT, to kill him off in a landslide while training recruits was a slap in the face to all who have come to regard Hallmark as a kind and uplifting brand that always has things work out even when people die. This was pulling the rug out from underneath us and then ripping our hearts out and throwing them in a running blender. I have never been this frustrated with writing and storytelling on a show in my life. And I survived the end of Chuck.

I am definitely still a fan of Daniel Lissing who has become one of my favorite actors and I hope he does a lot of amazing things with his career. I do not fault him for leaving and I do not fault the rest of the cast for the terrible choices the production team and writers came up with. If this is the direction that Hallmark is going, I don't think my loyalty will hold out much longer. I would like to say that I'll be back for Season 6, but it's not likely. I can't trust the makers of When Calls the Heart to not kill off another beloved character in a truly horrific manner.

Home

Have you ever gone somewhere and it just felt like the most wonderful place in the world? I'm not talking about Disneyland, but I am talking about a few places I've lived before. Utah Valley has been my home most of my life, and I can't complain. There is beauty and a sense of safety next to my tall mountains, especially at this time of year. Last weekend, however, I left it all behind for a day and ventured to someplace else that is also dear to my heart.

People that have met me in the last few years may know that I am an Aggies fan through and through which sometimes seems a bit odd. I spent my freshman year of college there, and given how long it took me to graduate college, that was barely a drop in the bucket. Not to mention my GPA upon leaving USU was not the best. BUT, there was something about that year that dwarfs the rest of my college experience. Perhaps it was because it was my first time living on my own. Or perhaps because it was the first time I felt like no one was judging me or comparing me to who I was growing up.
Regardless of what it was, this place is home to me. One school year, not even a complete calendar year, that has altered the course of my life for the better.

The friends I made there changed the way I looked at myself. Shortly after I moved back, one of my best friends from high school mentioned that I was a lot more confident. I beamed because confidence is something I have always struggled with. I made friends that knew and appreciated me for me. They liked who I was, which made me want to be myself. They are the friends that I still talk to today, the friends that I value and treasure most in this life. I honestly don't know where I would be without them. The friends I have made since then all know that there is almost nothing I wouldn't do if any of my Logan friends needed help. I

And so, I walked that campus and drove around that city-my city-with newer friends that had only heard about my love for that place. I probably drove them crazy with stories and experiences around almost every corner. From the tabernacle to Old Main, I had a story for every place we drove by and walked in to. I still dream about that place and how much I really would love to return to live there. Sometimes a place just sticks with you. There has only ever been one other place to just stick with me, it's on the east coast, and one day I'll get there too. Because there's nothing better than feeling that wonderful

acceptance. Often, people don't understand why a place of such magnitude that seems so ordinary could hold so much meaning, but it's not about the place, usually. It's about the memories. Even if things change, as they always do. Even if the people that made that place what it is to you aren't there, it will still have an impact, it will still be Home.







Last weekend, I went home.

Invisible

I am not a quiet person. I mean, I can be, I totally can be, but in general I have no issue talking in front of groups of people, I can let my opinion be known. I do not hide easily among people mostly because I am not small. I am 6'0" tall, and have the build of a football player, and for a woman, that is not common. People generally notice when I walk into a room and therefore I am used to the stares as people internally wonder exactly how tall I am. Or if I, maybe, eat small children for breakfast (which I do not, btw). So, I am not quiet, but for a not quiet person I certainly do seem to be invisible to a lot of people. Don't get me wrong, I am loved and I have a great family. There are plenty of people that care a great deal for me and I have no doubt that if something tragic were to happen to me, I would have an amazing support system already in place....at least I think I would? I'm not willing to test this theory, so we'll just go with it. But beyond my relatively small group of friends and family, I feel like the world, in general, does not see me. This is proven by the year of applying for hundreds of jobs with a completely stellar resume (three or four of them, actually) and only getting 2 interviews. One of which was because my brother got me the interview. When I got hired at my current job one of the management staff pulled me aside and asked why I hadn't gotten hired before by anyone because my credentials were amazing and I have great skills and interview well. I told her I had not idea, it was not for a lack of trying.

Any way, I often, especially lately, feel invisible. I have felt invisible to guys for years, especially the guys I have developed feelings for. It really sucks when you fall for someone who barely notices you exist. In some ways, it almost worse than if they just told you they didn't like you and to go away. It's one of those things that is devastating in the long run and, unfortunately, has taught me to keep my distance from people. I actually let few people into my life. I am close to some, but only a very select few have ever seen me cry, or seen me cry when I really had no reason why I was.

This post is getting a little too close for my liking, but I really felt like I needed to share. I don't know, maybe someone reading this also feels invisible, but doesn't know quite what to do about it. Being invisible has it's perks. There was once I just stopped texting my friends first, like, I decided I would not initiate a conversation just to see how long it took some people to notice. This was good for two reasons, 1. It helped me see who among my friends wanted me around. And 2, it helped me not be as clingy or as needy. I can be a needy person, or I feel like I can be. I initiate friendships too often and give of myself too freely at times. It's hard because I tend to be a giving person. I'd give you the shirt off my back if you needed it. And that can be a problem sometimes when you are invisible to people 90 percent of the time. I have a really bad habit of collecting people that just want things from me. I'm an amazing baker and a really good cook, so I have had friends want to hang out with me because of that. I am very giving of my time and energy and have had friends only hang out with me for that. Yet, when I struggle and when I actually need someone, I often find myself completely alone. Pert of it is that I don't really know how to reach out to people. There are times when I need help and I need a friend, but don't want to inconvenience anyone, especially if I feel like my feelings are irrational. I had a friend tell me yesterday that my irrational feelings were still valid feelings and that it was okay to feel them. We need this kind of friend in our lives because it really doesn't matter if we're crying over the end of a TV show, or if we're crying over someone completely ignoring our existence whether on purpose or not. All of those feelings came from somewhere. All of that emotion is valid.

Which brings me back to feeling invisible. I promise you, you're not invisible. Not to the people that really matter. And trust me, sometimes you feel like no one truly sees you and it sucks and it's hard. I get it. I have been there so many times I don't even try to keep track. But you're so strong. And you just haven't found the people that will truly see you. They're coming, I promise you that. Hold on to that hope. Hold on for just a little bit longer. I find myself saying that when things get really hard. Hard things make you stronger, and when things feel uncomprehensibly hard and you really don't want to be stronger, that's when the really awesome things start happening . So, please, just hang on a little bit longer, okay? Because you're amazing. And if you're thinking 'But Sooz, you don't even know me', that may be true, but I have felt invisible a lot and it always gets better. Sometimes it takes longer than you'd like, but it does get better, I promise you that.

And to finish up, here's a great music video that fits with the theme of this post!

Time Is Just A Moment And It's Passing By Too Fast

I was going to post on Mother's day, but realized that my last post was on Easter and I don't want this to become a thing where I only post on holidays. And then the moment left and I hadn't written anything here and it just sat for a bit longer.

My brother and his family came over today and I asked two of my nephews if they wanted to make cookies with me. They eagerly said yes and ran to the kitchen to help. I used to dislike cooking with kids because it always seems to take longer and be messier, but lately I really have grown to love it. The three year old, who thinks he is Batman - so that is what I will call him here, wanted to help dump the ingredients into the bowl and smell the cookie dough as it mixed in the mixer. It was adorable, and his nine year old brother was the same. They were eager to help and really wanted to taste the dough at each stage, which I did not permit because cookie dough doesn't taste good until it's done.

After I put a batch of cookies in the oven Batman wanted to watch them cook, so I went to help him down from the stool he was sitting on and he defiantly said "No! I can just jump off because I'm Batman!" and then proceeded to jump off the stool and run over to the oven to watch the cookie dough "melt".

It is these small little moments that remind me why I love being an aunt so much. It's the messes in the kitchen and the jumping and playing that makes each moment with them so precious. Before long they'll be all grown up and won't want to bake cookies with me anymore. They won't even want to come visit. And I'll wish I had enjoyed those moments more with them when I could. How quickly life passes us by! How quickly those moments slip through our fingers!

Thankfully, Batman is only three and will, hopefully, love making cookies with me for a long long time because he's such a fun kid to have help.

I have been working on a novella lately. It might become a novel, I don't know. I haven't decided yet. There's definitely enough material to make it a novel, but it's a fairy tale, so I kind of wanted to keep it shorter. But it has unlocked so much of LIGHTS background and history. And it's only expanding further and further. It's amazing!! I thought I'd give you a little taste of it, so here you go!

Little background, because this is literally the middle of a chapter that is not at the beginning...Ethne is Cinderella and Keegan is the prince, but Ethne doesn't know he's the prince because he's pretending to be a commoner and is working in a blacksmith shop. He is from a kingdom that can control fire (hence the blacksmith shop) and was the first person Ethne met when she found herself in Solais, which is the kingdom Ian (in LIGHTS) is from. Ethne is training to be a warrior, which she was destined to be because her mother was also a warrior. The warrior's belong to a group called The Order.

One day, two months after her arrival, Ethne was walking by the blacksmith shop when Keegan came outside. He bowed respectfully to her, which Ethne had grown accustom to. It was the common greeting for all those in the Order. She bowed in return and when she stood again she noticed Keegan grinning like a fool.

“Why are you so happy this morning?” She asked.

“I have just received a letter from home.” He told her.

“Oh? And what was in this letter?” She wished he’d just tell her, but he was having too much fun dragging this out.

“There is to be a ball back in my kingdom. The king and queen have just announced it. And I am hoping to attend. They say it’s to be a masquerade. You have not lived until you have seen their ballroom. The entire length of the ceiling is lit by a fire that never goes out.” He explained. Ethne had never been to a ball. She had never even heard of an opportunity to go to one.

“How interesting. What is the occasion?” She tried not to sound too eager as she asked. He chuckled lightly before answering,

“You, of course.” He stated.

“Me? Why would they be having a ball for me?” She was truly perplexed at the thought.

“Because you are of the Order and all those who are new to the order attend a ball in their honor when their training is complete. Your training will be finished soon and a ball must be had.” He explained.

“But why in another kingdom? I’ve never left Solais, why won’t they host it?” She wondered aloud to him.

“Because Solais is just part of this world. The rest of the world wishes to honor its newest warrior. The work you will do here is truly remarkable and we all wish to pay our respect for your efforts on our behalf.” He said. There was a glimmer that shined from the corner of his eyes as he spoke of her strength and effort. She blushed at the compliment.

“I really haven’t done anything yet. I don’t deserve a ball.” She told him.

“On the contrary. You have already given us hope in the future. You deserve more than just a masquerade ball. But this is one small way we can show you how important you are. You must attend.” He insisted.

“If I must.” She replied, but in her heart she wanted to go. Especially if Keegan would be there.

Any way, there you go, a glimpse into my current WIP. I hope to have this draft done by the end of the week, but I've been saying that for weeks, so we shall see!! Let me know what you thought in the comments!!

That by knowing him here, we may know him better there.

Easter. My favorite holiday. I often have a hard time actually expressing why Easter is my favorite holiday. And for many years it wasn't that significant to me. You get a bag full of candy and some nice thoughts about Jesus at church. It was a lesser Christmas to me.

And then one year it wasn't. One year I suddenly didn't care if I got a bag of candy, or if we had an Easter egg hunt in the back yard where all my nieces and nephews could go find them. All at once it actually meant something. It could have been the year and a half I spent as a missionary for my church. It could have been that I was reading my scriptures and happened upon the best Easter scriptures right around that time of year. I don't remember exactly when it happened, I just know now that it did happen.

Over the last year I have been broken in so many ways. My head, my heart, my soul, my strength have all been challenged, bruised and broken. And yet I have lived through it all. I have been strengthened by a force beyond my own. I have been lifted and healed by the grace of God. I have found solace in the words of the prophets. I have lived through it and come out stronger than I went in. And it has just solidified my love for my Savior and Redeemer, Jesus Christ.

A few years ago my church posted a video gearing up for Easter, and it still brings me to tears. I thought I'd share it.

The video shared nothing that I didn't already know, but it reminded me of how important this holiday really is. There is so much that we have in this life and to look forward to beyond it all because of Jesus Christ. His love for us is so incredibly strong. He has conquered the world so that we might become all that we can be. He has given us the opportunity to succeed. He loves us that much. And I love him with all my heart in return.

I was reading the Chronicles of Narnia series at the beginning of the year. It is my favorite young adult series. It has always been a part of my life. I hadn't read the entire series in a very long time, so it was fun to experience them again. I love the simplicity and the symbolism that is intertwined throughout the series. And I love Aslan, the Great Lion. It is no secret that CS Lewis was Christian and used symbolism in a lot of his work. But I love the stories he tells and the worlds he created. And most importantly, I love the feeling I get when I read his books. I was reading The Last Battle and was crying because the series was ending, but also because I was reading the most beautiful words I had ever read. It was a final thought about the Pevensie children, and those great souls that had found their way back to Narnia, and back to Alsan. The quote is:

"Now at last they were beginning chapter one of the great story which no one on Earth has read. Which goes on forever in which every chapter is better than the one before."

And it just left the most wonderful thought and feeling in my heart. To me, that is what Jesus offers us. He offers us peace that can continue on and on forever in which every moment, every hour is better than the one before. 

Another favorite quote is from Voyage of the Dawn Treader when Lucy Pevensie realizes that she will not be returning to Narnia again and pleads with Aslan to visit them here in our world to which he responds,

"But there I have another name. You must learn to know me by that name. This was the very reason why you were brought to Narnia. That by knowing me here a little, you may know me better there."

And I feel like that is one of those very symbolic thoughts that CS Lewis added for a wonderful moment in the story between Aslan and Lucy, but also for us as we look to our Savior. Our time in this world is so short when you consider the vastness of eternity. Are we taking the time we have here to better know our Savior? So that when we see him again, we will recognize his face and run to him as he has run to us countless times. That by knowing him a little here, we may know him better there. 

I don't know if this at all explains my love of Easter, but I am so grateful for this time of year. As spring begins and the world wakes up around us. Flowers bloom and the trees turn green. That moment of renewal as we also take a few minutes to remember our Savior, Jesus Christ, and his sacrifice for each of us. Because of him, we don't ever have to feel alone or like no one could truly understand. He has given us so much, he has given us everything. And because of all that he does for me, and all the love that he has shown me, I will praise his name forever. I will welcome the peace he brings into my life. We are all so incredibly blessed to have such an ally and friend on our side, cheering us on. 

May we all focus on this beautiful day, and may we all come to know our Savior a little better. This time of year is for renewal, I hope you will all take a minute to renew your dedication to following Jesus Christ. Following his teachings and his words. I think the world would be a better and kinder place if we could follow him.