A Post About Neverland

It's funny. Many times a week I think to myself, "Suz, you should totally write a really funny and awesome blog post" but then I get busy and forget, or I sit down to write something to you lovely readers and it's suddenly not funny anymore. And then I go back to my imaginary world of awesomeness and spend some QT with Jason and Kyla. BTW, did you read that last post? Did you like the changes? Or did you hate them? Or, did you not read them and you're avoiding eye contact because you suddenly feel guilty about it? No worries, go read it real quick and then let me know what you think. I made HUGE changes to Kyla's life and I think they work, but I haven't gotten a ton of feedback on the subject, so yeah.

Um. I am slowly catching up on, like, five years of TV I didn't have time to stay caught up on. I finished Supergirl Season 1 this week. I kept up with that one as it aired. LOVE that show. I'm also caught up on Arrow and The Flash. My priorities are obviously in the right place. Also, Once Upon A Time. Caught up on that show. Because I freaking LOVE Captain Hook. He's seriously the only reason I'm still watching that show. Colin O'Donoghue (who plays Capt. Hook) is seriously at the top of my Future BFF's list. I want him to play Jason Tyde when that book gets made into a movie. And I know I've said that, like, a million times before, but I think he could do an AMAZING job. Seriously. He's amazing. Also, speaking of Colin, my friends and I have a running joke that he's always drinking a Coke. Even though it's clearly a beer. He's Irish. But we joke that he's always drinking a Coke and I said that when I meet him I'm going to share a Coke with him. SO, if he were to come to Comic Con (which I am really hoping happens!!) I'll totally get a photo op with him and hand him a coke for the picture so I have proof of it. Ha ha. I am sharing a lot of random things with you guys today. Eeek. I hope people still read after this. Ha ha. #shareacokewithcolin #itsgonnabeathing.

Speaking of Captain Hook, Jenni James just wrote a book called Capt. Hook and it is adorable. It's part of her Faerie Tale Collection. Also, there's this song by Ruth B that I am IN LOVE with and has brought a lot of inspiration for my writing!! My friend (A new one I've never mentioned before!! Let's call her Chiquita) introduced me to this song and I had to go buy her EP I loved it so much!! You should watch her video here:



I have a character that keeps coming to mind. Her name is Grace and she's adventurous. I want to tell her story, which I think will be rather lengthy, but I need to finish Changing Tyde first. Having a billion stories in your head all the time is exhausting at times. But, I promise you all-especially Grace- that more stories are coming. Every of the stories. All of the stories. I love them.

Any way, go read what I posted about Changing Tyde and then leave a comment!! I NEEEEEEED FEEDBACK :)!!!

Batman V Superman, and other things

First of all, here's 2 chapters of Changing Tyde that I completely changed. Let me know what you think. They're SUPER rough drafts, but you should get the idea:

Chapter 2 - Kyla

I didn't think about how hard it was going to be to pack up my apartment. I moved quite frequently through out my college experience, this should be a piece of cake. But this time was harder than any of the other times. Everything I touched had a memory with him attached to it. I found myself reliving the last three years over and over again, each item bringing the pain in a new light. At this rate, I'll never get packed in time.

I finish packing the last box in the living room. I need to be packed and ready to go in two days. I look around my still mostly full apartment and feel defeated. I tape up the box and set in on top of the others labeled with a thick black sharpie. I look to the half packed kitchen and don't even want to think about the bedroom. I've avoided the bedroom more than anything else. The memories that room holds will be worse than the rest.

It's just a one bedroom apartment. It shouldn't be this difficult. And yet, I've been packing for a month. Or, avoiding the packing for a month. I pick up another box, determined to tackle the kitchen tonight when my phone buzzes to life on the counter top next to the sink. It's my best friend and former roommate Shannon. I answer it.

“Hey! I was just calling to see if you needed any help yet?” She sounds cheerfully cautious.

“I thought I could do this by myself, but I think I've hit the point where I need some help. When are you free?” I ask, frustrated. But before I can even finish the question, there's a knock at the door. I walk over and open the door as Shannon ends the call and looks up at me.

“I'm glad you're willing to let me help because I was going to help whether you wanted it or not.” She informs me with all the sass that her southern drawl implies. I hug her, feeling like I might not fall completely apart with her here.

“Thank you, Shan. Ugh. I odn't know what I was thinking.” I tell her.

“You were thinking that you could whip this all out in a day and a half like all the times we moved from one apartment to the next. But this isn't like all the other times.” She states, and I know she's right.

“I just get frustrated so easily. I'll be packing a box in the kitchen and before I know it, I'm ugly crying over a skillet Nick's mom gave me at my bridal shower. It's so depressing. Are you sure you want to help?” I ask.

“I'm sure I want to help. What is the hardest for you to pack?” She asks, looking around at the progress I have made.

“I finished the living room, I was just about to start on the kitchen again. I haven't really touched the bedroom. I've kind of avoided that one the most. Do you want to work on the kitchen and I'll try working on the bedroom?” I try sounding optimistic and determined. Shannon just smiles at me and wraps an arm around me,

“How about we do the bedroom together?” She asks with an optimism I lost a long time ago. I nod and we head over to the bedroom.

It's not that I have a lot of stuff in my bedroom, it's just that was the last place I saw Nick. It's where we slept each night and where we talked for hours about our future. I had gotten rid of most of his stuff, but there were still memories everywhere I looked.

We had moved into this apartment as newlyweds and now I was leaving everything behind. Shannon started taking all of my clothes out of the closet and putting them in a box. She probably would have done the whole thing if I let her. But I couldn't let her do that, so I grabbed a box and started going through my drawers.

“Would you believe that I've already gone through everything in here, like, three times?” I say with a slight smile as I find pictures from my first date with Nick. I hold up the picture to show Shannon, “Remember this night?”

“How could I forget? You were so smitten by him. You couldn't stop talking about him. Which was hilarious because you swore you didn't like him.”Shannon reminds me. I laugh a little and put the pictures in a box.

“He caught me off guard. I wasn't supposed to meet anyone that semester.”

“And yet, the universe and Nick had other plans.” She responds. I laugh a little at the memories and keep going. Within an hour my bedroom is completely packed and we head to the kitchen.

I sit down at the table to rest for a minute. Shannon grabs a couple bottles of water out of the fridge for us and sits across from me.

“Was that easier?” She asks. I nod.

“I don't think I could have done that without you. Thanks.” I open the water and take a drink.

“I'm so glad. Is the kitchen all that's left?” She asks looking around.

“Yeah, pretty much. And it's half way there. The moving truck will be tomorrow. Leo and Mark are going down with me to help me move in down there and then they're flying back on Saturday. This is all happening so fast.”

“I know. I can't believe you're actually leaving me. What am I going to do without you?” She teases.

“Come visit me. I don't have a huge apartment, but I do have a couch. And I'm not far from the beach!” I tell her.

“Fine. You win. I'll be here tomorrow to help you load the truck.” She looks at me with concern. This isn't new. Everyone's looked at me like that for a year. It's what happens when your whole life gets turned upside down and you're left scrambling to put the pieces back together. It's how I look at myself in the mirror each morning.

Chapter 4 - Kyla

I pull into an empty parking spot. Spring is in full bloom as I walk slowly through the empty grass and walk the familiar path to the one place I have found myself most often over the last year. I'm glad no one else has decided to come visit so that I can say goodbye alone. I stop at the granite gravestone.

Nicholas Andrew Robinson

May 16, 1988 – January 20, 2015

Beloved Husband and Son

I place a small arrangement of Gerber daisies at the base of the stone and kneel careful down next to it. This place has become sacred ground over the last year while I have dealt with the loss of my best friend.

“Hey Nick. I finally got all packed up and am ready to go. Shannon came by and helped last night or I'd probably be ugly crying over a knife set we got for the wedding.” I try to laugh at the absurdity of the truth, “your mom promised to come by regularly and bring you flowers. I know it's a little ridiculous for us to bring you flowers when you really didn't like them, but it's our way to let you know we care about you still.” I'm rambling. To a gravestone. If Nick really were here, he'd be teasing me with that ridiculous grin and sharp green eyes. I can still see them as if he were truly standing in front of me.

“So. California. I can't believe it's actually happening. Mom and Dad are thrilled to have me closer. They offered me the guest suite at their house, but I just couldn't move back in with them. I'm not the little girl that left there anymore. I did get the apartment down on 6^th Ave. It's a small studio apartment, but it'll do until I get on my feet again. Besides it's just me.” I can feel all of my emotions ebbing and flowing and rising like a river. I wasn't supposed to be alone ever again.

“I guess I really just wanted to come and say goodbye. Not for forever. I plan to come back and visit. I guess I just wanted to let you know that you completely changed my life, Nick, and I'll always love you for that. You showed up when I thought I didn't need anyone and proved me wrong. I love how you changed everything about my life and made me a better person. I will never forget you, or our life together. I will treasure each day we spent together and even though I'm moving away and moving on, that doesn't mean I'm going to forget you. I could never forget you. I still love you so much that it hurts. My heart is still broken and as long as I stay here it will be. I think that's part of why I took this job so soon. Because as long as I stay here all I'll think about is losing you. And I don't think you'd want me to stay here and dwell on what was. I think you want me to be happy. So that's what I'm going to try and do. Move on and be happy. I love you, Nick. Always.” I wipe away the tears that have collected and stand up to walk away. The sun is setting in front of me and the light dances through the trees and across Nick's grave. I smile and turn to walk back to my car. The pain of saying goodbye is just as hard as it was the day he was buried here.

.....sooooooo.....what did you think??? I'm actually really curious. You should, maybe, leave your thoughts in the comments or something.

Also, went and saw Batman V Superman last night after I revised 46 pages of the above story. It was a crazy awesome day and then I went to the movies with Liam, which was a lot of fun. It was a pretty good movie. They referenced a lot of different comic book story lines, so I'm curious where they take this. In my dream world, I will work for DC as a screenwriter. It's going to be awesome and their movies will be great. Any way, let me know what you thought of Changing Tyde. I know it's a lot different from where the story started and I am so happy that I get to keep working on it!!

Soozee's Random Writing Tip

Are you sick of me posting stuff yet? It's like I can't stop writing now that I'm out of school. I CAN'T STOP!! And I love it! It makes me so happy! And today I have been working on LIGHTS. Oh, I love this story! I love where it's going and where we've been with it and soon I get to crush Ian's poor little heart. Which is going to break Emma's heart. And Trent/Donovan (spoiler) is going to get crushed sort of. But not really because he wasn't *actually* in love with her. Because he's evil at the moment. But oh, so attractive.

Any way, the point of this post. Over the last two years I discovered something. There are a number of Mumford and Sons songs that I just can't get over when I'm writing. I have a whole playlist of their songs that listen to on repeat. When I need to channel some rage (usually when writing about Donovan) I listen to the song White Blank Page. There's a line in there that I can't get over too. It goes "Can you kneel before the King and say I'm clean?" and I know that it seems simple and maybe unpoetic or even nonsensical, but those words, man, they've got POWER and I LOVE THEM.

When I need to channel some unrequited love (even though I'm the freaking queen of it) I listen to I Will Wait as well as Not With Haste. When I need to write about hope and faith I listen to Babel and Below My Feet. "Keep the earth below my feet. From my sweat, my blood runs weak. Let me learn from where I have been. Keep my eyes to serve, my hands to learn." Such beautiful words. #56 on my bucket list is to have Mumford and Sons write an original song for one of my movies. I would LOVE for them to write a song for LIGHTS when it's made into a movie because their music has become so intertwined in my writing process for that story. In so many ways, their music is the unplayed soundtrack. When I finish this book and it gets published and you all go pick up a copy of it, I recommend listening to Mumford and Sons while you read it (if you are one of those people that can listen to music while you read) OR, read the book, then go listen to Mumford and Sons and hear my story intertwine with their words and be happy. Be excessively happy. Because it would make me happy. :)

In other news, I found another actor I would love to cast as Jason Tyde. Seriously, peoples, I keep recasting these parts in my head, but it always helps me picture the story better. I have cast Emma in my head which is the first girl I have cast outside of Iridium. Have I even told you guys about Iridium?! I don't think I have. That's a whole other post. And so is this last paragraph. I'ma just leave this here and will get back to it next time I blog. Which will probably be in, like, 3 days or something. I'm totally addicted. Be excited.

Here is one of my all time favorite songs of theirs. It has become my theme song. Especially when I get sad about my life and things I don't have that I want in life that are righteous desires. I listen to this song and remember that I will wait. Enjoy:



And THIS is Emma's song. This is soooo Emma's song. This is her the entire first book. I don't even know if I believe. Dang It's like they wrote this song just for her. I LOVE it so so SO much.

Midterm Catch Up

So sorry, dear readers, for leaving you hanging for so long! I'm past midterms and well on my way to the end of the semester. This semester has been a game changer for me. No longer am I constantly looking for the elusive Dean Carmichael. I'm also not going into English Ed. anymore either. WHAT?!?!?! I know, I know you were just thinking the same thing. Let me 'esplain. There is too much, let me sum up:

I was minding my own business last week, just hanging out, working on a script for screen writing, enjoying my life and all of that and then I went to bed because it was late. How anti-climatic, I know. That night I had a dream that I was going to lunch with Joss Whedon, Tom Hiddleston and Chris Hemsworth. I wasn't freaking out in my dream, it was a very regular day in the context of the dream. My phone rang and it was one of my current friends. I went to answer it and woke up. Well that was weird,  I thought to myself as I got up and got ready for the day. Too bad that will probably never happen. And I started another super crazy day. I turned in my script, we read it in class, talked about it's strengths (jokes about botulism) and it's weaknesses (your characters are too normal. They have quirks, bring out the quirks!) and after I got home from another long day I went to bed and had another dream. Much like the first. This continued, and the situation was always similar. Me, California, screenwriting, Tom Hiddleston.
      I don't really know where the whole Tom Hiddleston thing came from. I've been vehement about not liking him because this girl I know pins like 25-115 pictures of him on Pinterest a day. That's worse than my craziest Doctor Who day! So, after I woke up from the dream where I was going to the Oscar's with Tom Hiddleston because I'd been nominated for Best Screenplay, I told my room mate about it and the dream wouldn't leave me all day. It was weird. So, I did what I do best. I watched a movie. With Tom Hiddleston in it. And thought about the complexity of dreaming and life.
    I told Tango about my dreams and he was jealous because he is as much a fan of Tom Hiddleston as I now am. He commented on how he feels that Tom Hiddleston would make a good Jason Tyde. At first I adamantly opposed the very idea because Tom is not as broad as Jason is. He doesn't really look the part. However, he could nail the emotion perfectly. If you don't know anything about Tom Hiddleston aside from Thor and The Avengers, he's well known for being incredibly polite and respectful. Kind of the polar opposite of the character he plays in those movies. And I have come around and actually think he would be a very good Jason Tyde. Good 'ol Jason. Gosh I love that guy.

    I have always dreamed of being a writer. And this semester I have fallen in love with screenwriting. My dad asked me recently how school was and I told him how much I LOVE writing. I should seriously make it my career. I explained it like this:
     I once read a talk from Pres. Eyring about when he was young his dad really pushed him to get a degree in Physics, but he didn't like Physics. He was struggling a little bit and asked his dad for help. They looked over it together and went on with life. The next day his dad came to him and asked about the question. Pres. Eyring said he hadn't thought about it since they looked at it. His dad looked surprised, and said something to the effect of, "don't you think about Physics all the time when you have nothing else to think about?" and Pres. Eyring said he didn't. His dad thought for a minute and then replied, "Find what you love to do, that it is what you think about when you have nothing else on your mind." I have loved the idea of truly loving what you do. I love writing and think about it often, but as I have taken this screenwriting class I have learned that it is what I think about when I have nothing else on my mind. It consumes me and I LOVE thinking about what story I want to tell and how I'm going to tell it.
    Oh, and Dean. Wonderful Dean. Wherever he is, I feel that he is busy, and the time is not at hand for us to meet. And, you know what, that's totally okay. I don't think I'll be getting married for a little while longer. And usually I say I'm okay with it, but I'm freaking out inside. This time, however, I'm totally okay with it. I'll probably get married when I'm 32, which is fine. And although this whole prospect scares me to death, I'm excited and hopeful.
     Thus, the explanation. I am going to become a screenwriter and after some extensive conversations with my Heavenly Father over the last 2 weeks, the plans I had for my life have begun to shift and it's looking like I will get a degree in screenwriting and hopefully get a job in California and go do that whole thing. Very specific plans, I know. I'm awesome like that.
    So there you have it. A catch up on my life thus far. Be excited, friends, because although everything I'm reaching for terrifies me, I know that with Heavenly Father on my side, I won't fail.

I'm giving a Gold Star for those that actually read the whole thing!!

What up, my friends????? Long time no post, I know. That's how it goes with me, though, you know? So, updates...I live in the same complex as DJ now, different building, but our buildings are kiddie corner to each other. I see him in the parking lot sometimes. And that's the end of that story. There's a know guy at work. He's super adorable. Lets call him Steve, because I haven't called anyone Steve yet. And I apparently like that name today. But yeah, Steve sits in the desk behind me and we talk and it's fun. He's a nice guy. Good friend.

It was crown day today. According to my room mate. I haven't come up with clever nicknames for my room mates yet, so I won't really get in to those stories, mkay?

I have been writing. Oh, have I been writing. Would you like to read some of it? Yeah? Okay, here are a couple of little pieces I've written for my creative writing class. Also, I'm taking a screen writing class and it's A-MAZING. I kind of want to go in to screen writing professionally, I think it would be AWESOME. Also, that would give me so much more creative control over my books when they get published and then made into movies. I'd be the screenwriter. Ta-da!!! Any way, here you go:

A side note: PLEASE, please, please, don't copy or quote, or use any of my writing without my permission. This is all REALLY personal stuff and I am only sharing it here to get a little feedback. So, with that being said, on with the show!!

Here's a piece of Flash Fiction:

Mistaken

I asked her not to. She didn't listen. Why didn't she listen? I didn't want to go. I didn't want to do this. But I did. I did do this. And now I can't go back. Back to the way things were. Why? Why can't I go back to the way things were? Because it's too late. And now there's blood, I don't even know who's blood it is. Everywhere. Pooling around me. Make it stop.


I look for a towel, but there isn't anything. I start to panic. I'm surprised it's taken this long to set in. I don't know what to do. What do I do? I can't find a towel. I don't want to use my shirt, but it's the only cloth I can find. Why isn't there anything else here? What am I doing? Why am I here? I'm not supposed to be here. This isn't supposed to happen. This....this...too late....


“Steve, are you okay?” I hear her voice, but I don't see her.
“Steve, can you hear me, babe?” There's panic in her voice now. It wasn't there before. Why is she worried about me? I did this. I am the one to blame.



“Steve, I've called the police, they're on their way. Just stay calm, okay?” The panic is rising. She's still talking, but I don't hear the words. I'm not surprised. I would have called the cops, too. Everything is getting dark. Is this how things end? I don't know. I thought there was supposed to be light. Isn't that what they say? A light comes and you walk towards it? I'm only seeing darkness. I thought all those stupid clichés would come true. I guess they really are just clichés. Overused and meaningless. There's the sirens. I can hear them. They're almost here. Time to face my fate. I don't think I'll make it to when they get here. It's all so dim and dark. I just want to sleep. Let me sleep....sleep...it's all a dream now.


I am not a poet, but here is my attempt because I was forced to:

The Railing


I watch from above,
they all look like ants beneath me.
I lean against the railing.
It's there to protect me, but it doesn't.
It's small and thin in comparison
To all that I have,
All that I am,
All that I will become.
It is there to keep me safe.
To remind me of what I stand for
What I believe in,
Why I do what I do.
It is a reflection of my life.


I stand up straight and stretch my arms,
I am tall. I feel like I could fall into the sky
And watch the world fade to nothing.
Nothing.
That is what I want.
I want nothing to fear or hide from.
I don't want expectations or worries.
Nothing in the dark shadows of the night.
It is peaceful then.

Peace and darkness to ease the burden.

AND, finally, a piece of my 10 minute play:

ROUND ONE

(Girls can be heard OS, screaming)

JASON (OS)

Come on, come on! Quick quick quick!

(JASON and KYLA enter the stage through a doorway, they run in hand in hand, laughing.)

KYLA

(breathless)Is it always like that?

JASON

Only when a new article comes out, or when an interview airs on TV. This is nothing compared to premiere weekends. Some events get so bad I don't even come home for a while.

(Jason is still holding Kyla's hand. He looks down at it and lets go.)

KYLA

I can't even imagine that.

JASON

I'm sure this isn't how you expected your summer to end up. I know you like things to be really calm.

KYLA

Yeah, but if dealing with them means I get to spend time with you, then it's worth it. I've had plenty of time begin alone, and to be honest, it's all very exciting being around you.

JASON

Yeah, until they realize that I spend more time with you than anyone else and decide to revolt.

KYLA

I guess we better just keep our friendship a secret then.

(BROOKE enters from the opposite side of the stage. Jason immediately stands between her and Kyla)

JASON

Brooke, what are you doing here? How did you get in?

BROOKE

Oh, come on, Babe, you know I can charm my way into anywhere.

JASON

Seriously, Brooke, I changed the locks, all the door codes, everything.

BROOKE

It took me a little while, but I figured out the code to your garage. I thought you'd be happy to see me. It's been months. I missed you.

JASON

That's nice. So, explain to me what you are doing here.

(Brooke approaches Jason, trying to get a better look at Kyla. Kyla steps out from behind Jason and faces Brooke.)

BROOKE

I'm sorry, I don't believe we've met. I'm Brooke.

KYLA

I know who you are.

BROOKE

I assumed as much, but I'm trying to be polite.

KYLA

I don't know why. I didn't think you cared about anyone but yourself.

(Jason steps between them to separate them again.)

JASON

Okay, Ky, calm down, Brooke, don't give her that look. We both know she's right.I mean, I didn't think you had feelings. I thought you were just a shell of bitterness and self gratification.

BROOKE

Ooooh, and I just thought that maybe you would have changed your mind about this whole misunderstanding.

(Jason's calm demeanor melts at the mention of misunderstanding.)

JASON

It's nice to know you're still dellusion-

BROOKE

I'm not the delusional one! I-

JASON

Just stop, Brooke! I don't want to-

BROOKE

No, you just stop. I came over to try and patch things up.

JASON

And you think I would just let you in and forget about everything?

Brooke

It was a while ago. I hoped that with some time apart you'd see-

JASON

Yeah, that's not happening.

BROOKE

But why?

JASON

Because you cheated on me. Brooke, you lied to me. I used to love everything about you. Why do you want to go back to that, anyway? You weren't happy

DUN DUN DUUUUUNNNNNN!!!!!!! And scene. Well, actually, that's not the whole scene. It's just the beginning. But you get the idea. It's the first time Jason and Brooke have talked since the divorce has been finalized, and I really don't blame him for not wanting to be around her. Brooke is kind of a crazy person. I mean, who cheats on Jason Tyde?!?!??!?!?!!!! 

Any way, I have been busy busy busy. I am all moved in to my new place and love it, except on football game days because I live right next to the stadium. But, otherwise it's pretty fantastic. I'll try and update you a little more frequently. Okay, bye!!!

Oh, and for your viewing pleasure, my thoughts on #hashtags:

Writing Stuffs

I have been writing kind of a lot the last few days. Like a lot a lot. Makes me happy to see Changing Tyde taking flight again. I'm getting a whole new group if friends completely addicted and falling in love with Jason. As it should be. Everyone should love him. He's such a fantastic guy!! I'll post a sniper for you here soon and you'll probably love it and hate Brooke. As it should be. The end. 

SUMMERTIME!!!!!!!!! (this is kind of long, but you'd kill me if I shortened it, I promise!)

So, I'm just going to throw a bunch of info at you and you're going to work through it and have fun with it, k? K. So, I moved!!!! YAY!!!!! I moved to the great city Northward. Okay, not the GREAT city, I just moved to Provo-ish area. Student housing. AWESOME! I have great room mates and I live 5 minutes from work (woot woot!!). It's a lot of fun. Pictures to come shortly.

     Now for the part you've all been waiting for. I met a boy. DON'T FREAK OUT. NOTHING HAS HAPPENED YET. And, I'm not counting on anything happening. I think he'll be a good friend. And that's all that I'm hoping for. Even if he could potentially be the man of my dreams. Because, seriously, he could be. But I don't know if he is or not. So, here's the run down on him. I went to a party at Liam's house. I didn't really think much of it because his parties are huge and I was really only there because he's one of my best friends and I didn't want him to know that I don't absolutely love his parties. Because they're fun, but there's SO MANY people there. So many. And I don't do well with crowds of people. Any way, I wen to the party and Liam had mentioned earlier that he was having a DJ come and it was going to be SUPER AWESOME. This did not help my wanting to go because that meant dancing, and I don't dance. It's not that I can't dance, its that I don't. 

     So, the night of the party comes around and I made cupcakes for it, because I always make treats for Liam's parties, because you never know who might be there. I showed up at the party and one of my friends was leaving with her boyfriend that I don't approve of (not that my opinion matters), and Liam was happy to see me, as always, and Ale was there, and a ton of other people from the ward. I was talking to people when Liam is like "Hey look, my friend is here!" and at that moment, this guy walks back with his speakers and DJ type stuff. I didn't think much of him, and then he turned around. I didn't get a good look at his face, but when I saw him-like actually saw him there-my initial thought was 'hmmm, maybe you should talk to him'. But I ignored it for a while.

     And then I found a moment to talk to him. I don't have a nickname for him yet, maybe we'll just call him DJ because he was the DJ, yeah, that works. SO, DJ is a writer. We talked writing for a while, and he didn't think my ideas for stories were crazy, which was awesome. He has a bachelor's degree in English, and is going to law school now. He works at the temple with Liam, another awesome thing about him. And he is kind of cute. And he inspired me. In the 10 minutes we talked he was asking me about Changing Tyde and was like "so it's kind of like a fairy tale" and it hit me like a brick wall that Changing Tyde very much is like a fairy tale. I love it! New life for a story I've been stuck on for forever! YAY!!! And he was telling me about some of the stories he's been working on, and they sound really cool. 

     Then, the party continued on, and I didn't really get the chance to talk to DJ again, but it was fun. AND THEN, Ale did a not very nice thing. She tricked me and I ended up dancing with this guy that I really don't get along with. It was creepy, and weird. AND, Ale recorded it on her phone. and won't delete it. AND, NO, you can't see it. 

    So, a few of my friends were like "you should ask for DJ's number!!!" and I was like "no." and they kept trying to convince me to do it, but I didn't and when I left DJ noticed and said "oh, are you leaving?" (mind you, it's about 1 AM at this point) and I tell him yes, and he says something like "Well it was really great to meet you." And there's a weird lingering high five and then I walked away. And my thought was 'if I'm supposed to see him again, it'll happen...somehow'. And that is the end of the story......

Here: watch this video! It's kind of funny!!!

And this one too!!!

okay, alright, I'll tell you more of the story, because of course it doesn't end there!! :) 

So, there I was, all alone and moved in to my new place. I went to church and met some nice people. They are all a bit younger than me, but that's okay, I'm used to it. Most single people are younger than me these days. I talked to Ale about DJ and she had mentioned that lots of people thought the DJ and I were a match made in heaven and, apparently, one of my friends didn't go talk/flirt with him because she thought that he was perfect for me. OH, and my room mate kept text Liam asking when he was going to stop by with DJ. It was all a bit much. He didn't ask for my number, I didn't ask for his, there was no indication (that I am aware of) that DJ was at all interested in seeing me again, or even remembering that he met me. 

That Friday night I ended up hanging out with Liam and explained that I thought DJ was cute, and he seems like an incredible guy, but taht I was not expecting Liam to set me up with him or anything. I really just wanted to get to know DJ better and become friends because we are both writers, and i could use some writer friends these days. Liam agreed and said that he wanted DJ and I to get to know each other better especially because we are both such awesome people (his words, not mine, though I'm not disagreeing). 

Jump forward to the next Friday morning. I get a text from Liam asking what I am doing on Saturday night. I tell him that I'm not doing anything, to which he informs me that I am going to a party at DJ's apartment with him. I tell him okay and that is that. 

Come Saturday, I am a little bit nervous and slightly anxious, mostly because I'm afraid that DJ is going to be like "who is this weird girl with Liam?" But he wasn't like that at all. And I looked cute. Like Tango approved outfit and hair cute. And when we walked in DJ was like "Hey! It's my friend Liam!!!" and I thought he had forgotten me, but no! "And hey! It's Soozee too! Awesome! Glad you could make it!" I may have smiled kind of a lot. He remembered who I was. Props to him. And the party was fun. We watched Emperor's New Groove and it was fun.

K, so you know when you meet someone and you think they're cute, but it's also kind of dark when you meet them, and then you don't see them for a few weeks and then you see them and they're not as cute as you remembered them being? yeah, I was worried about that happening, but it totally didn't. DJ was actually cuter than I remembered. And, he's a hug-er. He gives hugs. I don't know why I am always becoming friends with guys that love to hug, not that I mind. I mean, I know I have that whole "don't like to be touched" thing, but that's really for people that I don't know or don't like. If I think you're cute, then I don't mind if you hug me. I digress, moving on. DJ is cute. And his movie night was fun. And, when we were talking to him after I found myself asking if he wanted to come to a pizza night at my apartment the next week. And he said yes. And then asked if I had his number so I could text him the details. I told him I didn't, so he asked if I had a phone and I gave it to him and he put his number in my phone. It was pretty great. And as we walked away, Liam also seemed happy about how things had progressed with DJ. 

Lets move forward to Wednesday night. Liam was there, and Ale, and DJ was super late. BUT, he came. And I think he gets a little bit cuter every time I see him. I had made chicken alfredo pizza and mini chocolate tarts. Neither of which lasted very long. DJ agreed that I make amazing pizza, which I was actually worried about because we had previously had a discussion about amazing pizza and he said that the pizza in Italy (where he served his mission) was the best he'd ever had. So, when he said my pizza was amazing, I was really happy. And then someone suggested that we go see the new Star Trek movie. I said I didn't really have the money to go, but DJ (without skipping a beat) offered to pay for me, and we all went. Ale, and one of my room mates that came said that they felt like DJ and I were on a date and they just happened to be there too. I didn't really get that vibe, but it was fun. I was able to talk to DJ for a minute. He grew up in northern Utah, his favorite color of all time is green, and his favorite cookie is Snickerdoodles. I mentioned that I happen to make really great Snickerdoodles, which he said he did not doubt because I am an amazing cook. TA-DA! I'm amazing. So, the movie was good. My flip flop flipped off my foot and landed behind the seat in front of me shortly after the movie started which sucked, but had no bearing on the quality of the movie. I like Benedict Cumberbatch who plays Kahn, so that was awesome. I thought the story was well developed and the actors did a good job. Also, the one liners were pretty great. All in all, if you liked the first one, you'll probably like the second one as well. 

So, I didn't think I'd get to talk to DJ again. We had tennative plans for later that week that moved to next week, and new I'm not exactly sure when we're going to get together again, but it's all good. 

And then last night happened. I met up with Ale and my friend who has the boyfriend I don't approve of and it was alright. To be honest, I had more fun when it was just me and Ale talking. And hopefully said friend with boyfriend doesn't read my blog. If she does, then we will be having a conversation soon about how I really feel and how I hide my true feelings. I'm a horrible person,  I know. Any way, I had asked Liam what he was doing in case he wanted to come hang out with us. he didn't get back to me until he was off work which, by that point, everyone had gone home. So, I asked if he was doing anything because I didn't feel like going home yet. He mentioned he was at DJ's apartment and that I should come by. So, I did. 

Did you know that DJ plays the violin? He plays quite well, in fact. And the guitar. And he can sing. AND, he's smart. And, he gets cuter every time I see him. AND, I kind of asked what he was doing this weekend and if he doesn't end up going to Montana, we're probably going to do something at some point. 

BUT, I don't expect things to go anywhere with DJ. I think he's adorable, but, now that I've posted this here, I've jinxed myself and it will all fall to apart. Which, lets be honest, it would have done all on its own. Not that I don't want anything to happen, I'm just trying to be realistic and not get my hopes up. Because the odds of him wanting to date me are not usually in my favor. And don't get upset with me. I know I'm a wonderfully fantastic person, and there should be a line at my door if guys actually saw how amazing I am. But they don't always see it, and that really is okay. A line at my door would be terribly inconvenient for everyone. And then I'd feel obligated to be nice to them, and cook for them, since they are waiting at my door and all, and it just wouldn't be fun. SO, I'm happy with where I am, and more importantly with WHO I am. DJ is a friend, and I love being friends with him. It's so much fun. He's such a nice guy. And I love that I get to know him a little bit better every time we hang out. It's fantastic! And this post is REALLY long and if you're still here CONGRATS!!!! I should make you cookies or something! How about Snickerdoodles?? ha ha ha!!!

     

The Past

So, I haven't worked on Changing Tyde for a while because I hit a wall. I think it was a brick wall. It hurt and I couldn't move past it. SO, my oldest and dearest friend came by last Saturday and I introduced her to SUITS, which will be its own post soon enough, and because we were going to watch Suits, that made me happy, which made me want to bake, so we made Chocolate Chip cookies, and while making said cookies we got talking about Jason Tyde and were the book was and why I hadn't written in a while when I was on FIRE a few months ago. So, we discovered that Jason didn't have a past, really, and neither did Brooke and that I really needed to work out their details before I could finish their future. It was VERY therapeutic and awesome. And then we watched Suits, which made me happy because I LOVE LOVE LOVE that show. And now I know where Jason is from, who his family is, why Brooke broke his heart so bad. I love it. Its just amazing!

I heart....

....many things, but today I heart Zachary Levi, especially in this song:

Confession: Sometimes I watch Tangled just to hear his voice. Ha ha ha, actually I LOVE that movie because it is AWESOME. but, I do love that he can actually sing quite well. CRAZY, I know. PLUS, in the music video he doesn't have a beard! that's pretty awesome because he almost always has a beard, as you can see in the picture George sent me a few months back.

I also heart my Changing Tyde soundtrack playlist that I will now share with all of you!!! HOORAY!!! K, so the layout is this: Song Title, Artist, Album. ENJOY!!!

Breathe In Breathe Out, Mat Kearney, Nothing Left to Lose

Rainy Zurich, The Fray, Scars & Stories (Deluxe Version)

All We Are, Matt Nathanson, Some Mad Hope

Black & Gold, Sam Sparro, Black & Gold

Look After You, The Fray, How To Save A Life

Down, Jason Walker, Jason Walker

Movie Screens, Meese, Broadcast

Everybody Hurts, Avril Lavigne, Goodbye Lullaby

Stitch By Stitch, Javier Colon, Stitch By Stitch

Make Me Believe, Angel Taylor, Love Travels

Wrong Side of Love, Augustana, Augustana

I'm Ready, Jack's Mannequin, Everything In Transit

Jump Then Fall, Taylor Swift, Fearless (Platinum Edition)

Say You're Mine, Kate Voegele, Gravity Happens (Deluxe Edition)

Stars Falling Down, Kina Grannis, Stairwells

Runaway, Maroon 5, Hands All Over

Run, Snow Patrol, Final Straw

Real, The Goo Goo Dolls, Real

Love Comes Tumbling Down ,Matt Nathanson, Modern Love

Where You Are, Gavin DeGraw, Sweeter

All This Time, OneRepublic, Waking Up

The Only Exception, Paramore, Brand New Eyes

Now Comes the Night [Live], Rob Thomas, Something to Be

Let Love In, The Goo Goo Dolls, Let Love In

With You Around, Yellowcard, When You're Through Thinking, Say Yes (Acoustic Version)

Unsaid (EP Ver.), The Fray, Reason [EP]

The Man Who Can't Be Moved, The Script, The Script

A Twist in My Story, Secondhand Serenade, A Twist in My Story

Come Home, OneRepublic & Sara Bareilles, Come Home - Single

My Sundown, Jimmy Eat World, Bleed American

More Than Anyone, Gavin DeGraw, Chariot

Be Still, The Fray, Scars & Stories (Deluxe Version)

God Gave Me You, Blake Shelton, Red River Blue

Ours, Taylor Swift, Ours - Single

Also, the goal is set. I will have my first draft of my book done in a month. I am almost done with finals (hallelujah!!!) and will now be able to spend even more time WRITING!!! YAY! Everyone should be happy about that!!! 

Any way, have a great week! I love you all!!

The Stress Cycle

When I'm stressed, I bake. You can always tell the level of which I am stressed based on the amount of baking I am doing. When I bake, I have a lot of food, when I have a lot of food, I like to share. When I share, it makes people happy. When people are happy they pass it on. Therefore, its probably a good thing I am stressed. Right? Ha ha.

     This semester is quickly coming to a close and with it is an added desire to write my little heart out. Jason Tyde is doing really really good right now and has my undivided attention for at least 30 minutes every day right now. Last Wednesday I sat down and wrote 20 single spaced pages, which equals close to 40 double spaced (which is the proper way to submit a manuscript) and I finally feel like I am making progress again! HOORAY!!!! Be so happy! The story has taken a turn I was not anticipating, but I think it is an AMAZING turn of events that will work out best for everyone.

    So, the last three nights I have had a similar dream. I keep having this dream that I am dating this really great guy and we do everything together, and then I wake up and it takes me a minute to shift back to reality. Although I do like these dreams, they also frustrate me. But, Dean is somewhere and sooner or later he will show up and we'll run off to the sunset together. ha ha. That will be a fun adventure, I am sure.

   I went and saw The Hunger Games after I finished the reading them. I love Peeta. AND, not only that, but the guy that plays Peeta in the movie (Josh Hutcherson) would be the PERFECT Nick if my book ever gets made into a movie. Seriously. Just look at him. PERFECT. Okay, he looks a little young, but that's good because by the time my book gets made into a movie he'll look like he's in his mid twenties. One day....one day my book will be done and we will make it into a movie and everyone will remember today when I was randomly talking about baking and dreaming.

    Um, so my BFF at my morning job, lets call him Tango, asked me to put together a soundtrack for Changing Tyde and I took my 150 song playlist down to 35 songs because he wanted to hear what I hear when I write. It has been an AMAZING tool to keep the story in mind. Its just been a FANTASTIC week. I will post the list later, I promise. Then you can hear what I hear when I look at the world...or at least the world of Jason and Kyla.