Time Is Just A Moment And It's Passing By Too Fast

I was going to post on Mother's day, but realized that my last post was on Easter and I don't want this to become a thing where I only post on holidays. And then the moment left and I hadn't written anything here and it just sat for a bit longer.

My brother and his family came over today and I asked two of my nephews if they wanted to make cookies with me. They eagerly said yes and ran to the kitchen to help. I used to dislike cooking with kids because it always seems to take longer and be messier, but lately I really have grown to love it. The three year old, who thinks he is Batman - so that is what I will call him here, wanted to help dump the ingredients into the bowl and smell the cookie dough as it mixed in the mixer. It was adorable, and his nine year old brother was the same. They were eager to help and really wanted to taste the dough at each stage, which I did not permit because cookie dough doesn't taste good until it's done.

After I put a batch of cookies in the oven Batman wanted to watch them cook, so I went to help him down from the stool he was sitting on and he defiantly said "No! I can just jump off because I'm Batman!" and then proceeded to jump off the stool and run over to the oven to watch the cookie dough "melt".

It is these small little moments that remind me why I love being an aunt so much. It's the messes in the kitchen and the jumping and playing that makes each moment with them so precious. Before long they'll be all grown up and won't want to bake cookies with me anymore. They won't even want to come visit. And I'll wish I had enjoyed those moments more with them when I could. How quickly life passes us by! How quickly those moments slip through our fingers!

Thankfully, Batman is only three and will, hopefully, love making cookies with me for a long long time because he's such a fun kid to have help.

I have been working on a novella lately. It might become a novel, I don't know. I haven't decided yet. There's definitely enough material to make it a novel, but it's a fairy tale, so I kind of wanted to keep it shorter. But it has unlocked so much of LIGHTS background and history. And it's only expanding further and further. It's amazing!! I thought I'd give you a little taste of it, so here you go!

Little background, because this is literally the middle of a chapter that is not at the beginning...Ethne is Cinderella and Keegan is the prince, but Ethne doesn't know he's the prince because he's pretending to be a commoner and is working in a blacksmith shop. He is from a kingdom that can control fire (hence the blacksmith shop) and was the first person Ethne met when she found herself in Solais, which is the kingdom Ian (in LIGHTS) is from. Ethne is training to be a warrior, which she was destined to be because her mother was also a warrior. The warrior's belong to a group called The Order.

One day, two months after her arrival, Ethne was walking by the blacksmith shop when Keegan came outside. He bowed respectfully to her, which Ethne had grown accustom to. It was the common greeting for all those in the Order. She bowed in return and when she stood again she noticed Keegan grinning like a fool.

“Why are you so happy this morning?” She asked.

“I have just received a letter from home.” He told her.

“Oh? And what was in this letter?” She wished he’d just tell her, but he was having too much fun dragging this out.

“There is to be a ball back in my kingdom. The king and queen have just announced it. And I am hoping to attend. They say it’s to be a masquerade. You have not lived until you have seen their ballroom. The entire length of the ceiling is lit by a fire that never goes out.” He explained. Ethne had never been to a ball. She had never even heard of an opportunity to go to one.

“How interesting. What is the occasion?” She tried not to sound too eager as she asked. He chuckled lightly before answering,

“You, of course.” He stated.

“Me? Why would they be having a ball for me?” She was truly perplexed at the thought.

“Because you are of the Order and all those who are new to the order attend a ball in their honor when their training is complete. Your training will be finished soon and a ball must be had.” He explained.

“But why in another kingdom? I’ve never left Solais, why won’t they host it?” She wondered aloud to him.

“Because Solais is just part of this world. The rest of the world wishes to honor its newest warrior. The work you will do here is truly remarkable and we all wish to pay our respect for your efforts on our behalf.” He said. There was a glimmer that shined from the corner of his eyes as he spoke of her strength and effort. She blushed at the compliment.

“I really haven’t done anything yet. I don’t deserve a ball.” She told him.

“On the contrary. You have already given us hope in the future. You deserve more than just a masquerade ball. But this is one small way we can show you how important you are. You must attend.” He insisted.

“If I must.” She replied, but in her heart she wanted to go. Especially if Keegan would be there.

Any way, there you go, a glimpse into my current WIP. I hope to have this draft done by the end of the week, but I've been saying that for weeks, so we shall see!! Let me know what you thought in the comments!!

I need light in the dark as I search for THE RESOLUTION....

As the new year has started, I purposely did not make any resolutions to do better. I didn't make any promises to myself that I would some how dramatically change now that a new year has started. But as the new year has begun rolling out, I can't help but feel a sense of urgency about a few things. I can be a bit of a slacker when it comes to things like writing on my journal, ironic, I know. But, I felt like I really ought to be keeping up with things of that nature. I have an incredible story to tell. Dull at times, yes, but also very exciting. This leads me to tell you all about one of the exciting adventures I'm starting this year! But first, a music video from Jack's Mannequin that is the title of this post:

A few weeks ago I was contacted by a classmate and asked if I'd be interested in writing a screenplay for someone. I said "absolutely!" and she sent the contact information to me. I emailed this guy who is needing a script ASAP and he responded and we started talking about the project. 

Guys. This is what I've been wanting to do with my life. Writing! Real things that will be made into real movies!! How fantastic is that?! It's very exciting, but currently I'm waiting. Always waiting.

In other news, have you guys heard of a bullet journal? I'm intrigued by the concept and have thought about starting one. I have a hard enough time coming up with things to blog about....well, to find time to blog about. I come up with topics every day and most of them get filed away in the back of my mind and at first they hope that I'll pull the file out again later, but it really hasn't happened yet...one day, perhaps. But the joy of bullet journaling is that it is meant to be a quick thing that reminds you of your life, and who doesn't need that. We may not want to remember things, but we need to. They help us to remember the struggles in life. The wait before something great happens in your life. It's excruciating, but it's necessary. And I want to do better at remembering it!

I am also starting another project. Another! I was baking for the holidays, enjoying the very busy week I had had. Writing, job interviews and the like, and in the middle of Cinderella, you know, the one that came out in 2015 with Lilly James, so I'm in the middle when the princes comes running to save her in the forest and he doesn't tell her who she is and this whole fairy tale unfolded in my mind. But it wasn't the classic one I grew up with. There wasn't actual magic or a fairy godmother, per se. There was the basic details of Cinderella with a twist. It took place in Solais and is a story Ian grew up with. Then, my mind just started going at a million miles an hour with a whole series of fairy tales with a Solais twist. It's actually helping me expand the universe I started to create when I started writing LIGHTS. This is giving the whole world more depth and character. Cinderella will take place in both Solais and a neighboring kingdom that controls fire in the same manner that Solais controls light. Cool, no? It is. It is cool. And there's a masquerade and Cinderella can't stand the prince at first and he can't stand her and they fall for each other without realizing who the other is. It's brilliant. There's also ballet involved and just a wonderful wonderful story that I can not wait to tell you about!!

And then, while I was binge watching some Hallmark movies, because I am sha
melessly addicted to them, I was watching one and this guy keeps popping up in them and I found him intriguing and so I went to find all of the hallmark movies he's in. Because I have, like, all of them. I wish I was joking, but I'm not. And I watched, like, four hallmark movies that he's in. I'm pretty sure that I want him to be a prince in one of my stories. Because everything I write, I write as if it were going to be made into a movie. Often when I describe a character, I am describing an actual person that I would like to portray that character at some point. And I would LOVE to have both Andrew Walker (the guy from all the hallmark movies) and Blake Lively in one of my fairy tales. And Anna Kendrick. I could go on and on. But I'll leave you with this very rough beginning to Cinderella:

There are always things that must be. The sun setting in the west. Hour follows hour and each day leads to the next. And just as there are things that must be, there are people that are destined to follow paths they never thought they could.

Once, a long time ago, there was a beautiful girl named Ethne. She had followed her dreams as far as she could and had achieved her greatest goal of starring in a real ballet company production. She was set to play the lead role in the New York City Ballet company's production of Firebird. She would be the firebird! She could not believe her luck! She practiced every day, all day. She gave her heart and soul for the opportunity and just days before opening night she found a ring box tucked away in a box filled with her mother's things. Her mother, sadly, had died when she was a girl. It had been years since she had even looked at the box, let alone opened it up. The hinges creaked as she gently lifted the lid to reveal a rather unusual ring. It had a celtic eternity knot around the band that entwined at the top holding a fiercely red ruby at the pinnacle of the ring. Ethne felt a pull coming from the ring and took it out of it's box and slid it gently on to her right index finger. It fit perfectly. As soon as the ring was in place, though, Ethne noticed things around her start to change. The setting sun through the window seemed to be brighter, and it almost looked like the sun was on fire, but that would be ridiculous. The sun couldn't be on fire. At least, not this close to where Ethne was. Or could it? Ethne glanced around the room, frantic for an explanation, but there wasn't one. Her lamp on the bedside table seemed to also grow in brightness until the room was consumed in a brightness that caused Ethne to cover her eyes.

She noticed the smell of the earth first, then as the brightness faded, she heard the sound of a bird singing as it flew overhead. It was a sound unlike any bird she had heard before. And there was a musical tone to the trees. Ethne opened her eyes and found herself no longer in her room, but in a very unusual forest. She gasped as she took in the view around her. The trees were taller and wider than any tree she'd ever seen. Not even the Redwoods she'd seen last summer could compare. And the silver veins that ran through the trunks was breathtaking and beautiful. A breeze danced around her and she noticed the tinkling sound of silver. She looked up into the branches of the trees and noticed that even the veins of the green leaves were silver.

Where have I gone to? She thought to herself, and before she could answer herself she heard someone running through the trees and then rush to a stop. A young man stood before her. His silverish gray eyes caught her attention first. Then his sandy blonde hair with the smallest hint of scruff on his face. He looked at her in amazement and she couldn't help but feel her expression must be similar to his.

Like I said, ROUGH rough draft. But, It's a start. So, there's still some other exciting stuff happening, but I can't tell you about it just yet. So, in the mean time, listen to this song. It aptly sums up how I feel about life right now. It's called So Close and it's from Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness and he wrote it last year when he felt like all of these amazing things were just around the corner.

He said it's that moment when you feel like everything is either going to work out or fall apart and you're so close to amazing things happening. That's how I feel. I'm so close to either finally moving forward with my life or having everything fall apart. And either way, it's going to be an amazing journey. I can't wait. I'm so excited for everything that's going on in my life right now. Even if I am just kind of waiting to see what pans out. It's finding joy in the journey, you know? So close. 

Other Writing Gems

Hey friends!! So, I have been working on my blog lately, in case you didn't notice, I completely changed the layout and and trying to make this looks super snazzy and stuff.

Any way, I had about 5 blogs and have condensed them down to 3 total. This one, obviously, is for me and my writing and is more focused on Soozee Carmichael and all that goes into being me.

The second is one that I started three years ago and never really kept up on. It's a fictitious character named Raleigh Christensen. She lives in Provo, UT and has some crazy adventures. Also, she just met the most amazing guy named Hollander. It's pretty funny. My mom laughed when I let her read my most recent post. It's pretty great. The link for that blog is:

confessionsofahappyvalleygirl.blogspot.com

And the third blog is a new one that a friend suggest I start about six months ago. I finally feel that I have time and am really dedicated to making it great. If we're friends on FaceBook then you know that whenever it is the birthday of a famous person I like or admire, I post about how I will be baking something awesome to celebrate while watching/reading/listening to whatever they do for a living. So, my friend suggested that I start a blog for this and see if we can get a following for it, which would be awesome. My first post will go live on Monday, June 13th when we celebrate Chris Evan's birthday. It's going to be great fun and I highly recommend just checking it out after I start posting. That blog can be found at:

starstruckbaking.blogspot.com

This also means that I have taken down the blog I started as my fake British assistant, Emmalee Fairfax, which is unfortunate, but I also hadn't posted anything in 3 years, so I'm pretty sure no one will even notice....

Let me know what y'all think of my writing. Go check out my other blogs and just have some fun!!

For Sidney

So, my friend Sidney tagged me, and I'm answering some questions!!

"Liebster" means dearest in German, and it's awarded, blogger to blogger, to up-and-coming blogs with less than 200 followers.  The rules for accepting and giving the award are pretty simple.  Once you accept the award, you just have to do the following in a blog entry:

Answer the 11 questions posted by the nominator on her blog

Give 11 facts about yourself

Nominate 5-11 other new, up-and-coming blogs with less than 200 followers

Make up 11 more questions to pass on to the bloggers you choose to nominate

Thank your nominator by linking back to her blog

Upon your post going live, contact your nominees about your nomination for them

Sidney's Questions

1. What is the wildest thing you have ever done? Um, well, the wildest thing I can't talk about-legal stuff, you know ;).

2. Who is the person who has influenced you the most? Probably my mom, because she's super awesome, and when I grow up 

3. What is something you want to do before you die? Become a screenwriter.

4. What, in your opinion, is your greatest talent? Probably baking. Or writing (though I often don't feel I am a good enough writer to make a difference, or to make it at all!)

5. Do you like to go out, or are you a homebody? Homebody most of the time. I don't like large groups of people

6. Vampires or Werewolves? Um...if we're talking Vampire Diaries, Vampires. if we're talking Twilight, neither, if we're talking anything before 2008 probably werewolves?

7. Is there something you wish you could change about yourself? There are lots of things I wish I could change about myself, that's the beauty of life, though. Learning to accept who we are and how amazing we each are!

8. What do you want to change in the world? There are so many things I wish I could change, but just one would be the lack of faith everywhere. With faith ALL things are possible.

9. Who is your celebrity crush? This week, Tom Hiddleston. He's super adorable. My standard is still Zachary Levi, though. 

10. Your favorite joke? What is the Canada disease? Botulism. Most of you won't get it. It's from my apartment.

11. What is your go to feel better activity? Watch movies with attractive actors. 

11 Facts about ME:

1. I LOVE baking, especially eclairs.
2. I am the youngest of 8 and have the best, most fun, crazy family ever.
3. I am changing my major to Screenwriting
4. I'm going to change the world someday.
5. I am incredibly awesome and humble ;)
6. I only have one sister who is one of my best friends
7. I have 3 best friends. They are practically family.
8. I live with some pretty awesome room mates who joke about botulism and pharamones.
9. One day I will work as a screenwriter on a movie with Joss Whedon, Tom Hiddleston and Chris Hemsworth (Avengers 3, anyone?)
10. My favorite color is purple.
11. My favorite dessert is a white cake with white frosting. 

Okay, y'all. I don't know who to tag, so if you want to do it, here are my questions:

1. What do you want to be when you grow up?

2. What is your favorite color and why?

3. If you could go anywhere, where would you go and why?
4. What is your number one goal for your life?
5. What is your favorite store to shop at?
6. Why did the chicken cross the road?
7. Knock, Knock?
8. What is your favorite hobby?
9. If you could go to lunch with anyone in the world, who would it be?
10. What is your favorite holiday?
11. What is your idea of a perfect date?

SUMMERTIME!!!!!!!!! (this is kind of long, but you'd kill me if I shortened it, I promise!)

So, I'm just going to throw a bunch of info at you and you're going to work through it and have fun with it, k? K. So, I moved!!!! YAY!!!!! I moved to the great city Northward. Okay, not the GREAT city, I just moved to Provo-ish area. Student housing. AWESOME! I have great room mates and I live 5 minutes from work (woot woot!!). It's a lot of fun. Pictures to come shortly.

     Now for the part you've all been waiting for. I met a boy. DON'T FREAK OUT. NOTHING HAS HAPPENED YET. And, I'm not counting on anything happening. I think he'll be a good friend. And that's all that I'm hoping for. Even if he could potentially be the man of my dreams. Because, seriously, he could be. But I don't know if he is or not. So, here's the run down on him. I went to a party at Liam's house. I didn't really think much of it because his parties are huge and I was really only there because he's one of my best friends and I didn't want him to know that I don't absolutely love his parties. Because they're fun, but there's SO MANY people there. So many. And I don't do well with crowds of people. Any way, I wen to the party and Liam had mentioned earlier that he was having a DJ come and it was going to be SUPER AWESOME. This did not help my wanting to go because that meant dancing, and I don't dance. It's not that I can't dance, its that I don't. 

     So, the night of the party comes around and I made cupcakes for it, because I always make treats for Liam's parties, because you never know who might be there. I showed up at the party and one of my friends was leaving with her boyfriend that I don't approve of (not that my opinion matters), and Liam was happy to see me, as always, and Ale was there, and a ton of other people from the ward. I was talking to people when Liam is like "Hey look, my friend is here!" and at that moment, this guy walks back with his speakers and DJ type stuff. I didn't think much of him, and then he turned around. I didn't get a good look at his face, but when I saw him-like actually saw him there-my initial thought was 'hmmm, maybe you should talk to him'. But I ignored it for a while.

     And then I found a moment to talk to him. I don't have a nickname for him yet, maybe we'll just call him DJ because he was the DJ, yeah, that works. SO, DJ is a writer. We talked writing for a while, and he didn't think my ideas for stories were crazy, which was awesome. He has a bachelor's degree in English, and is going to law school now. He works at the temple with Liam, another awesome thing about him. And he is kind of cute. And he inspired me. In the 10 minutes we talked he was asking me about Changing Tyde and was like "so it's kind of like a fairy tale" and it hit me like a brick wall that Changing Tyde very much is like a fairy tale. I love it! New life for a story I've been stuck on for forever! YAY!!! And he was telling me about some of the stories he's been working on, and they sound really cool. 

     Then, the party continued on, and I didn't really get the chance to talk to DJ again, but it was fun. AND THEN, Ale did a not very nice thing. She tricked me and I ended up dancing with this guy that I really don't get along with. It was creepy, and weird. AND, Ale recorded it on her phone. and won't delete it. AND, NO, you can't see it. 

    So, a few of my friends were like "you should ask for DJ's number!!!" and I was like "no." and they kept trying to convince me to do it, but I didn't and when I left DJ noticed and said "oh, are you leaving?" (mind you, it's about 1 AM at this point) and I tell him yes, and he says something like "Well it was really great to meet you." And there's a weird lingering high five and then I walked away. And my thought was 'if I'm supposed to see him again, it'll happen...somehow'. And that is the end of the story......

Here: watch this video! It's kind of funny!!!

And this one too!!!

okay, alright, I'll tell you more of the story, because of course it doesn't end there!! :) 

So, there I was, all alone and moved in to my new place. I went to church and met some nice people. They are all a bit younger than me, but that's okay, I'm used to it. Most single people are younger than me these days. I talked to Ale about DJ and she had mentioned that lots of people thought the DJ and I were a match made in heaven and, apparently, one of my friends didn't go talk/flirt with him because she thought that he was perfect for me. OH, and my room mate kept text Liam asking when he was going to stop by with DJ. It was all a bit much. He didn't ask for my number, I didn't ask for his, there was no indication (that I am aware of) that DJ was at all interested in seeing me again, or even remembering that he met me. 

That Friday night I ended up hanging out with Liam and explained that I thought DJ was cute, and he seems like an incredible guy, but taht I was not expecting Liam to set me up with him or anything. I really just wanted to get to know DJ better and become friends because we are both writers, and i could use some writer friends these days. Liam agreed and said that he wanted DJ and I to get to know each other better especially because we are both such awesome people (his words, not mine, though I'm not disagreeing). 

Jump forward to the next Friday morning. I get a text from Liam asking what I am doing on Saturday night. I tell him that I'm not doing anything, to which he informs me that I am going to a party at DJ's apartment with him. I tell him okay and that is that. 

Come Saturday, I am a little bit nervous and slightly anxious, mostly because I'm afraid that DJ is going to be like "who is this weird girl with Liam?" But he wasn't like that at all. And I looked cute. Like Tango approved outfit and hair cute. And when we walked in DJ was like "Hey! It's my friend Liam!!!" and I thought he had forgotten me, but no! "And hey! It's Soozee too! Awesome! Glad you could make it!" I may have smiled kind of a lot. He remembered who I was. Props to him. And the party was fun. We watched Emperor's New Groove and it was fun.

K, so you know when you meet someone and you think they're cute, but it's also kind of dark when you meet them, and then you don't see them for a few weeks and then you see them and they're not as cute as you remembered them being? yeah, I was worried about that happening, but it totally didn't. DJ was actually cuter than I remembered. And, he's a hug-er. He gives hugs. I don't know why I am always becoming friends with guys that love to hug, not that I mind. I mean, I know I have that whole "don't like to be touched" thing, but that's really for people that I don't know or don't like. If I think you're cute, then I don't mind if you hug me. I digress, moving on. DJ is cute. And his movie night was fun. And, when we were talking to him after I found myself asking if he wanted to come to a pizza night at my apartment the next week. And he said yes. And then asked if I had his number so I could text him the details. I told him I didn't, so he asked if I had a phone and I gave it to him and he put his number in my phone. It was pretty great. And as we walked away, Liam also seemed happy about how things had progressed with DJ. 

Lets move forward to Wednesday night. Liam was there, and Ale, and DJ was super late. BUT, he came. And I think he gets a little bit cuter every time I see him. I had made chicken alfredo pizza and mini chocolate tarts. Neither of which lasted very long. DJ agreed that I make amazing pizza, which I was actually worried about because we had previously had a discussion about amazing pizza and he said that the pizza in Italy (where he served his mission) was the best he'd ever had. So, when he said my pizza was amazing, I was really happy. And then someone suggested that we go see the new Star Trek movie. I said I didn't really have the money to go, but DJ (without skipping a beat) offered to pay for me, and we all went. Ale, and one of my room mates that came said that they felt like DJ and I were on a date and they just happened to be there too. I didn't really get that vibe, but it was fun. I was able to talk to DJ for a minute. He grew up in northern Utah, his favorite color of all time is green, and his favorite cookie is Snickerdoodles. I mentioned that I happen to make really great Snickerdoodles, which he said he did not doubt because I am an amazing cook. TA-DA! I'm amazing. So, the movie was good. My flip flop flipped off my foot and landed behind the seat in front of me shortly after the movie started which sucked, but had no bearing on the quality of the movie. I like Benedict Cumberbatch who plays Kahn, so that was awesome. I thought the story was well developed and the actors did a good job. Also, the one liners were pretty great. All in all, if you liked the first one, you'll probably like the second one as well. 

So, I didn't think I'd get to talk to DJ again. We had tennative plans for later that week that moved to next week, and new I'm not exactly sure when we're going to get together again, but it's all good. 

And then last night happened. I met up with Ale and my friend who has the boyfriend I don't approve of and it was alright. To be honest, I had more fun when it was just me and Ale talking. And hopefully said friend with boyfriend doesn't read my blog. If she does, then we will be having a conversation soon about how I really feel and how I hide my true feelings. I'm a horrible person,  I know. Any way, I had asked Liam what he was doing in case he wanted to come hang out with us. he didn't get back to me until he was off work which, by that point, everyone had gone home. So, I asked if he was doing anything because I didn't feel like going home yet. He mentioned he was at DJ's apartment and that I should come by. So, I did. 

Did you know that DJ plays the violin? He plays quite well, in fact. And the guitar. And he can sing. AND, he's smart. And, he gets cuter every time I see him. AND, I kind of asked what he was doing this weekend and if he doesn't end up going to Montana, we're probably going to do something at some point. 

BUT, I don't expect things to go anywhere with DJ. I think he's adorable, but, now that I've posted this here, I've jinxed myself and it will all fall to apart. Which, lets be honest, it would have done all on its own. Not that I don't want anything to happen, I'm just trying to be realistic and not get my hopes up. Because the odds of him wanting to date me are not usually in my favor. And don't get upset with me. I know I'm a wonderfully fantastic person, and there should be a line at my door if guys actually saw how amazing I am. But they don't always see it, and that really is okay. A line at my door would be terribly inconvenient for everyone. And then I'd feel obligated to be nice to them, and cook for them, since they are waiting at my door and all, and it just wouldn't be fun. SO, I'm happy with where I am, and more importantly with WHO I am. DJ is a friend, and I love being friends with him. It's so much fun. He's such a nice guy. And I love that I get to know him a little bit better every time we hang out. It's fantastic! And this post is REALLY long and if you're still here CONGRATS!!!! I should make you cookies or something! How about Snickerdoodles?? ha ha ha!!!

     

A new 10

Actually, it's a return to a previous 7 that has become a new 10. Do you remember this post??

 If not, there was a refresher for ya. So, I hadn't watched Chuck or Tangled for a long time, and my sister in law invited me over to watch a Hallmark hall of fame movie last weekend starring Alexis Bledel and Zachary Levi. And as we watched I remembered how much I really love Zachary Levi. 

    So, when I was finally done with finals this week Ale came by to bring me a post finals treat. I asked if she wanted to watch something, she said sure, I asked if we could watch Chuck because I haven't watched it in like a year or so and she said she'd try an episode. 

     One thing you have to understand is that Ale and I don't actually like a lot of the same TV Shows. There are a few we both like, but none that we both love. Until now. I got her hooked on Chuck (and who wouldn't be, really?) and Zachary Levi plays Chuck. And I love him. Just a little bit. He's my new 10. Except, he was already close to a 10, but now he's my 10. And do you know why? #1: He's attractive. #2: He's my favorite Disney prince *smolder*.

 and #3: He's a nerd. Not just on the show, but in real life. Zachary Levi is a nerd. YAY!! This is awesome because I have recently realized that I am in fact a nerd. Which takes him from the 7 I ranked him at last year, up to being my 10. That's right, move over Sam Worthington, Christian Bale, David Tennant, Josh Dallas, Adam Levine, Matt Smith, and all the other 10s. 

 Speaking of attractive guys, Ale convinced me to sign up for online dating. Let's talk more about awkward than attractive. Too bad there aren't any Zachary Levi-esq guys on there (at least not that I have seen). I have talked to a few guys, but nothing that is incredibly striking and awesome. I figure there is no harm in trying new things though, right? Liam has decided that he needs to meet any guys that want to meet me. I love how much my friends care about me. It's really awesome.  I don't know if anything will come of it, but hopefully it'll be fun.
   
     So, this semester is over. Thank goodness for that. This was a rough one and I'm glad it's over. Time to have a fantastic summer. I am going to be moving soon. A good friend of mine wants me to be room mates with her, which I think will be a good thing. I told Ale she's going to have to come hang out with me like all the time. And I'll be working on LIGHTS and Changing Tyde and I'll also be quilting and baking and loving my life!!!!

If you read this, I'm really okay, I promise.

So, I've been thinking about life again. I should be writing papers right now, or going to the church to set up for FHE, but here I am, thinking about life and about all of you lovely people that still read this blog, or that have just started (hello, new people!!!). I am a very unique individual. I don't use "unique" as code for weird, nerdy, strange, crazy, or insane; although some and/or all of them may apply on any given day. I say that I am unique because there really isn't another one like me. I am my own person. I have amazing talents and gifts that other people don't. I made 150 cupcakes between Friday and Saturday. They looked AMAZING. and I'm not just saying that for a pat on the back, they were beautiful. And I did them. All by myself. I made the cupcakes. I made the frosting. I made the Andes mint fudge. I didn't smash the Oreos because Ale asked to, but beyond that, they were mine. All mine. This may also sound a little self absorbed, but sometimes I don't want people to help me because I want all the credit. I don't like sharing. maybe because I usually have a vision of what I want and I feel that if other people get involved I'll lose my sight and then I have to tell people that other people helped me, and with this project, I wanted it all. I still ended up having to share the credit, but that's okay. Because I know that I did it all. They were mine. All mine. And I am so proud of myself for accomplishing my goal despite really unfortunate set backs.
    I am also unique (and this is really where I was going with this...just had to vent about the cupcakes) because I am 28 years old, and I am still very single. So many of my friends are married with 1 or 2 kids and their lives and stresses and worries are completely different than mine. I love my life. I absolutely love it. I was talking to my sister in law the other day and we were talking about how the grass is always greener on the other side, which is so true. I look at my friends that are married and think "do you realize how lucky you are? Do you see how amazing your life is? Do you know what I would give to have what you have? You're so lucky!!!!" Each day of our lives presents itself with challenges, and I understand that. And now that I've shared my secret envy of my friends, I will share with you another little secret. I'm also really okay with my life. Have I said that enough in this post? I'm totally okay with my life right now. I'm taking steps forward and putting plans into action (except for the writing my papers right now thing....I really need to work on that one). I have come to terms with, and accepted, that it is a possibility I might not get married in this life. Now, before you call me and tell me how I'm going to find someone and that I'm giving up to soon (because I've found that is a response I get quite regularly when people ask if I'm dating someone and I tell them I'm not looking). This does not mean that I don't want to get married, I do-believe me, I do!!! This also doesn't mean that I've given up on looking for Dean. This just means that if the opportunity never presents itself, I will be okay. I have plans for my life and they are AMAZING plans!!! I can't be best friends with Adam Levine and Matt Smith if I'm married with kids. That would be awkward. If I was single, I could do all the crazy things I dream about sometimes. I could publish some books, open a bakery, and then go travel through Europe. Get lost in Ireland. Randomly end up in Cardiff where they film Doctor Who. If I'm going to dream, I might  as well dream big, you know? So, that's what I'm doing. And then, when I do happen to meed Dean Carmichael (whether in this life, or the next) I will know that everything he and I have been through will have made us stronger and better for each other. I will fully understand why I was asked to travel this path alone for as long as I will be asked to. That day will be a glorious one, and I can't wait to meet him. And I know that patience is a virtue, and one that I feel I have learned a lot of. But I actually really love it. patience is still a hard thing for me, but knowing that the longer I wait *patiently*, the greater blessings I can receive.
     I do love my life. And I expect great things from myself. I know that I can do hard things. I know that I can accomplish great things, and I know that my Heavenly Father has tried to help me see all that He has in store for me for a while now. I finally figured out how to listen. And it's a beautiful future, no matter what happens. I hope we can all find that joy in the journey. I hope we can all find the peace that the gospel brings. If you don't have that peace, I hope you can find it. There is nothing that compares.

And then they all died. It was sad. I ugly cried. It was horrible.

     I feel like all of my favorite shows are killing off main characters. I hate it when they do this. Downton Abbey being at the top of the list. SERIOUSLY GUYS, what's wrong with you writers?!?!?!!?  Stop the hate! Stop the killing!! Just let my characters live and give them drama some other way!!!!!! At least Sherlock isn't *actually* dead. But seriously. Stop the dying-ness peoples! Maybe I'll just become a screenwriter so that I have a say in who lives and who dies!!
I told myself I HAD to work on homework today...right now, in fact....so, of course I'm writing on my blog instead. Obviously. I've been thinking a lot about life lately. What I want, where I'm going, what I want out of it, you know, the usual questions. I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but every year around my birthday I write a letter to my future husband. Sounds odd, I'm sure, but it's kind of a marker for me to check back and see where I've come from and what I hope for in the future. Any way, I started this year's letter back in January and didn't finish it. I picked it back up this last weekend and finished it without reading the beginning, then I went back and read the whole thing. I surprised myself quite a bit. The first part of my letter was really sad. Like really sad. I think I was freaking out about being 28 and not married (and if anyone reading this isn't LDS, or from Utah, you probably don't see that as a bad thing) and I kind of wrote it out in a letter. But then, this last weekend (and the last few weeks) I have just been really positive and LOVING life and looking forward to some huge new changes ahead for me. And so I wrote those out in my letter too and it was really surprising to me that I have been really down lately. I hadn't really noticed.
     Any way, yeah, life-it's getting better. I have been working on LIGHTS a lot lately and I am so in love with Ian and Emma and their relationship. I'm going to take them to the very edge, though. I'm going to make them question everything and they're going to have to rely on each other and hope that somehow they don't die and make it out together. I think that this is the best way for me to solidify how much they care about each other. Also, it adds the drama needed to promote a story. Because what is a story without an issue or drama? A boring sugar coated story that is hard to relate to, because we all have problems. We do, it's just the way things work. So, don't hate me when you think Ian is dead or Emma has forgotten about him. It'll be okay, I promise. Trust me, I'm the writer :)
     In other news, I have been baking up a storm lately and I have to say that I am so proud of myself when I finish a project whether its baking or sewing or writing. I love creating things, and I love accomplishing them too! It's awesome!! I'll post pictures soon. Because they're fantastic!!!
     Um....I think that is about it. Life is GREAT!!! I love writing and baking and everything about my life right now. I'm working on some things that I'll blog about later, but for now, I'm doing good and hope you are too!!!

What would life be without some CRAZY RANDOMNESS?!?!?!?!

I was on good 'ol Facebook the other day and ended up talking to a friend I haven't seen or heard from in nearly 2 years. I made his birthday cake then, and I'm pretty sure I called him Soldier Boy on here, which is such an apt description of him. So, I ended up talking to SB for a little while and he invited me to his birthday party and I suggested that I come by the day after his birthday and bring him some cupcakes (because I was already making cupcakes. I didn't make them just for him...I'm not THAT nice...) and he said that would be great. SO, yesterday after I got off work I stopped by his place and we ended up talking for about an hour or so. It was really good to catch up with him. I had a crush on him when he lived closer, but I'm very happy to say that none of those feelings are there anymore. He's just a good friend. That thinks my cooking and baking skills are AMAZING. We were walking around outside and whenever we ran into someone he knew (which was like every two minutes) he would introduce me somewhat to the effect of: "Hey, this is Soozee, she's amazing." OR, "Hey, this is Soozee, she's cooks better than anyone ever. And she's awesome". It made me laugh, but there are a lot of attractive guys over by where he lives, so maybe we will have to be friends and I can meet all of his friends.
     On an entirely different note, I told George that for his birthday present I would make him anything (within reason) for his birthday. He chose burgers. I wanted to make the best burger he'd ever had in his life, because that's just how I roll. So, yesterday, I made burgers with Monteray Jack cheese INSIDE the burger. MIND BLOWING, I know. They were crazy good. AND, I am pretty sure I succeeded in making the best burger he'd ever had in his life. Except I forgot bacon. That would have made it more awesome. But that's okay. They were still HUGE and DELICIOUS. Yep, my mouth started watering at the thought of them again...oh man, they were good. 
    Its' the weekend. I love weekends. I think I will bake for a family party I'm going to tonight (which will be AWESOME!!!) and also have Christian Bale Movie Weekend: Part Deux. That will be FANTASTIC. I'm so excited. And so should you be as well.

Batman and other stuff

This was George's birthday cake. It says "I'm Batman!"

He's BATMAN!!! and awesome.

I love Batman. Have ever since I was a kid. I thought the movies got a little cheesy, the one liners got ridiculous and the guys that played Batman weren't that attractive. Bless their hearts. And then Christopher Nolan started the Dark Knight trilogy. And Christian Bale starred as the Dark Knight. Given my previous post was ridiculous, this one will dip slightly into ridiculous in that Christian Bale is totally my current 10. I spent most of last weekend watching Christian Bale movies. I own 14, and have watched pretty much all of them in the last four days. I went and saw The Dark Knight Rises with Tango last Friday and loved it. I thought it was amazing. But, I love Batman, and I love Christian Bale, so it wasn't too hard to think I might.

My friend rated him at a 4...a 4!!!! That is ridiculous!

    On an entirely unrelated note, I sat down and talked with my best friend from high school a couple weeks ago. She has a little girl that is almost 2, which is the same age as a few of my nieces and nephews. She's so cute and it was especially great to talk to my friend again. Since she got married we don't talk as often, but when we do talk its as if no time has passed at all. To me, that is a sign of a true friend. A person with whom time doesn't affect your friendship. We talked for about an hour and got all caught up with each others lives. It was good times.

mmmmmmmmm.....

    I woke up the other day and had this epiphany...Snickers cupcakes. I have my caramel cream cheese frosting recipe, which is AWESOME. and then I added peanuts and a chocolate drizzle. They actually taste like snickers!!! I made them last week after going to one of the many cupcake shops. Tango said mine were better than the one from the cupcake shop. I feel that this is promising as I want to one day open a bakery. However, you will not being seeing a snickers cupcake in my bakery, or peanut butter bars, or peanut butter cookies, or anything with nuts. Why, you may ask? Because there are several close members of my family that have severe nut allergies. My goal is to open a nut free bakery. AND, I have decided that I should just plan on one of my future children being severely allergic to nuts. It runs pretty predominately in my family, and we didn't realize. So, give me some time and you will see a nut free bakery somewhere. I also made these cupcakes last night and a couple of friends came over to watch a movie (we watched Batman Begins and tonight I'm watching The Dark Knight in preperation to go see The Dark Knight Rises again tomorrow). One of these friends is a guy...lets call him Liam, because I think he kind of looks a little like Liam Hemsworth...only shorter. Any way, it was Liam's birthday last week and so we put a candle in a cupcake and sang him Happy Birthday and told him to make a wish. He actually paused for a full minute before blowing out the candle. I like that he took the wish making serious. It was kind of cool. The downside of having a slight crush on Liam is that he's about 4 years younger than me and although I don't really have an issue with the age difference, I know that he does. Frowny face. He's a great friend, though.

 

The sparkles make it seem more dreamy.

    I also made an Andes Mint cupcake that I am calling The Andes. It is delicioso! I made a mint fudge which I put on top of the cupcake and then did a thinner layer of vanilla frosting over that. I dyed the vanilla frosting green, which mentally people assume its mint and makes ties all the flavors together. Man, I love baking. I love trying new ideas. Its HEAVENLY!!!!

    The other day my Mom was playing the piano. If you don't know my mom, then you don't know that she is an AMAZING pianist and organist. I grew up listening to her play hymns as well as many other songs. There are a few that I am very fond of and I asked her to play for me. After she finished I asked if she would let me record her playing the piano so that when I don't live close to her I will still have that small piece of home. To me, her piano playing is home. It brings such joy to my heart and peace to my soul. I love it.

The Past

So, I haven't worked on Changing Tyde for a while because I hit a wall. I think it was a brick wall. It hurt and I couldn't move past it. SO, my oldest and dearest friend came by last Saturday and I introduced her to SUITS, which will be its own post soon enough, and because we were going to watch Suits, that made me happy, which made me want to bake, so we made Chocolate Chip cookies, and while making said cookies we got talking about Jason Tyde and were the book was and why I hadn't written in a while when I was on FIRE a few months ago. So, we discovered that Jason didn't have a past, really, and neither did Brooke and that I really needed to work out their details before I could finish their future. It was VERY therapeutic and awesome. And then we watched Suits, which made me happy because I LOVE LOVE LOVE that show. And now I know where Jason is from, who his family is, why Brooke broke his heart so bad. I love it. Its just amazing!

The Stress Cycle

When I'm stressed, I bake. You can always tell the level of which I am stressed based on the amount of baking I am doing. When I bake, I have a lot of food, when I have a lot of food, I like to share. When I share, it makes people happy. When people are happy they pass it on. Therefore, its probably a good thing I am stressed. Right? Ha ha.

     This semester is quickly coming to a close and with it is an added desire to write my little heart out. Jason Tyde is doing really really good right now and has my undivided attention for at least 30 minutes every day right now. Last Wednesday I sat down and wrote 20 single spaced pages, which equals close to 40 double spaced (which is the proper way to submit a manuscript) and I finally feel like I am making progress again! HOORAY!!!! Be so happy! The story has taken a turn I was not anticipating, but I think it is an AMAZING turn of events that will work out best for everyone.

    So, the last three nights I have had a similar dream. I keep having this dream that I am dating this really great guy and we do everything together, and then I wake up and it takes me a minute to shift back to reality. Although I do like these dreams, they also frustrate me. But, Dean is somewhere and sooner or later he will show up and we'll run off to the sunset together. ha ha. That will be a fun adventure, I am sure.

   I went and saw The Hunger Games after I finished the reading them. I love Peeta. AND, not only that, but the guy that plays Peeta in the movie (Josh Hutcherson) would be the PERFECT Nick if my book ever gets made into a movie. Seriously. Just look at him. PERFECT. Okay, he looks a little young, but that's good because by the time my book gets made into a movie he'll look like he's in his mid twenties. One day....one day my book will be done and we will make it into a movie and everyone will remember today when I was randomly talking about baking and dreaming.

    Um, so my BFF at my morning job, lets call him Tango, asked me to put together a soundtrack for Changing Tyde and I took my 150 song playlist down to 35 songs because he wanted to hear what I hear when I write. It has been an AMAZING tool to keep the story in mind. Its just been a FANTASTIC week. I will post the list later, I promise. Then you can hear what I hear when I look at the world...or at least the world of Jason and Kyla.

SPRING BREAK!!!!!

So, its officially spring break for me for the next WEEK!!!!! I am beyond excited! I am going to relax and bake and read and bake and write and bake and probably read some more....I realize that sounds like a regular week for me, except I get to read WHATEVER I WANT!!!! So, I am going to read the Hunger Games, because I am one of the only people left that hasn't. I've owned it since the first one came out, and actually own all of them, but just haven't had time to read them. It's crazy, but I'm working on it.
    I have been commissioned to make a birthday cake for a friend for tomorrow. This is one of the firsts I am making for someone else, not for someone I know well. I have always been willing to make cakes for others, and Digger has been telling me for forever that I need to start a business, I just don't have the time to put into a business right now, you know? I don't have time for anything, it seems like.
     Question for you all, if you had a super power, what would it be? Leave comments below and let me know what you think :). Me and my friends have been talking about super powers because we went and saw the movie Chronicle the other day...I can't really recommend it, it was kind of crazy. It reminded me a lot of the film style of Cloverfield if any of you saw that one.
     I am going up north next weekend to visit my friends up there. I haven't seen Fort in ages and we are going to dinner with my brother up there. I am hoping to see Digger too, but who knows if that will happen. I know I have mentioned this before, but I am so grateful that I am friends with Digger. Even if we don't talk for months, when we do talk its as if no time has passed. I love having a friend like that. He's amazing...even if he doesn't want to date me.
     George mentioned that he wanted to listen to The Fray (made my day!!!) and he downloaded their newest CD and after a few days he told me he just couldn't get into it...so I burned him a copy of my favorites of their songs and he was excited to listen to them. I laugh at his music preferences because he either likes really kind of girly music (he'll kill me if he ever reads this, but he listens to Taylor Swift, Kinna Grannis,  Paramore, stuff like that...kind of girly) or rap. I don't think you can get to more opposite ends of the spectrum. SO, hopefully he likes the Fray and then I can have a friend that likes them too. I'm not gonna lie, that would be stupendous.
     Well, I am out of random thoughts for you today. I'll probably update again soon, since its SPRING BREAK and all! ha ha ha!

Happy Birthday To ME!!!!!

First of all, I have amazing family and friends! It was my birthday a few days ago and the whole weekend was spent with tons of friends and tons of family all celebrating with me!!! It was fantastic! I got to make two cakes (and before you freak out, I LOVE baking and really really enjoyed making both of my cakes!) The first one was CHUCK related because I LOVE LOVE LOVE that show, and Zachary Levi (because he's AWESOME).
     In the show Chuck works at a store that is pretty much Best Buy, only its called Buy More and instead of the Best Buy Geek Squad, they have the Buy More Nerd Herd that Zachary Levi's character (Chuck) is the head of. This is the logo for the Nerd Herd. I thought it would be a fantastic idea, and it turned out really quite well! I love it! My friends were all impressed and it was so much fun to hang out with them! Tex and his wife came down and it was great to see them!

     The second cake came from a recent obsession (at least when I'm not doing school work). I started playing Lego Pirates of the Caribbean on the Wii. I HAD to get a mermaid and beat 2 entire games to do it. And once I got her....I didn't have time to play anymore. It was sad. BUT, I made a cake (and no, there isn't a mermaid on the cake....the only one was in the $70 set and I just couldn't justify that kind of money for a cake...) BUT, I did make a pretty awesome cake, if you ask me. Complete with Capt. Jack, Elizabeth, Barbossa, and some other random bad guys. I took pictures of it both lit and not lit so you can see all the details and awesomeness of it! YAY!!!
    So yeah, I had this amazing birthday and my friends took me to dinner on my actual birthday and it was just a fantastic day. AND, as if it couldn't get any better, THE FRAY put out a new CD that I was able to download from itunes the evening of my birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!! It is a fantastic CD, but I love love love the Fray, so that's not really a surprise. But yeah, super awesome day, super awesome week, and now I have to go back to reading my 800-1000 pages for this week! YAY! (PS: that's why I haven 't posted in a while...I've been reading crazy amounts for my classes this semester!)

A Much Anticipated Recipe

I know that you have all been DYING to get your hands on this recipe....well, those of you that don't already have it! Ha ha...I got this recipe from my sister in law when we were cooking it up once a month (which, BTW, we need to start doing again!!) And this has become a favorite of my friends. I make these all the time because they are easy and delicious and look super fancy.

Mini Chocolate Tarts

Tart shells:
1 box chocolate cake mix
1 egg
1/2 cup butter melted.

Mix ingredients together. Fill well greased mini muffin pans 3/4 full with batter and bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes. Do not over bake. Once they are baked, I usually let them cool for a minute and then I use a tart press to press the centers down, but you can use a 2-liter soda lid, or something about that size. then I let them sit for about 5 more minutes before I take them out to cool completely.

Filling:
1 box instant chocolate pudding (the smaller box)
1 cup half and half
1 8oz. container cool whip

combine the pudding mix and the half and half until smooth, then fold in the cool whip. I use a pastry bag and tip to create a swirl pattern on the tops of mine, but you can just spoon them in as well. I have topped them with toffee, smothered them in white and milk chocolate. I've cut strawberries up and put those on top, but my favorite is probably to take Ande's Mints chips and top the tarts with those and then just drizzle some milk chocolate on top of those. The possibilities are ENDLESS. I hope you enjoy!

Also, you can try different types of pudding mixes. Lemon cake mix with lemon pudding for the filling is delightful (one of my sisters in law made them and I fell in love!) Also, cheesecake pudding is a huge hit with the different parties I've taken them to. So, go crazy, have fun, and make up your own creation!!