Home

Have you ever gone somewhere and it just felt like the most wonderful place in the world? I'm not talking about Disneyland, but I am talking about a few places I've lived before. Utah Valley has been my home most of my life, and I can't complain. There is beauty and a sense of safety next to my tall mountains, especially at this time of year. Last weekend, however, I left it all behind for a day and ventured to someplace else that is also dear to my heart.

People that have met me in the last few years may know that I am an Aggies fan through and through which sometimes seems a bit odd. I spent my freshman year of college there, and given how long it took me to graduate college, that was barely a drop in the bucket. Not to mention my GPA upon leaving USU was not the best. BUT, there was something about that year that dwarfs the rest of my college experience. Perhaps it was because it was my first time living on my own. Or perhaps because it was the first time I felt like no one was judging me or comparing me to who I was growing up.
Regardless of what it was, this place is home to me. One school year, not even a complete calendar year, that has altered the course of my life for the better.

The friends I made there changed the way I looked at myself. Shortly after I moved back, one of my best friends from high school mentioned that I was a lot more confident. I beamed because confidence is something I have always struggled with. I made friends that knew and appreciated me for me. They liked who I was, which made me want to be myself. They are the friends that I still talk to today, the friends that I value and treasure most in this life. I honestly don't know where I would be without them. The friends I have made since then all know that there is almost nothing I wouldn't do if any of my Logan friends needed help. I

And so, I walked that campus and drove around that city-my city-with newer friends that had only heard about my love for that place. I probably drove them crazy with stories and experiences around almost every corner. From the tabernacle to Old Main, I had a story for every place we drove by and walked in to. I still dream about that place and how much I really would love to return to live there. Sometimes a place just sticks with you. There has only ever been one other place to just stick with me, it's on the east coast, and one day I'll get there too. Because there's nothing better than feeling that wonderful

acceptance. Often, people don't understand why a place of such magnitude that seems so ordinary could hold so much meaning, but it's not about the place, usually. It's about the memories. Even if things change, as they always do. Even if the people that made that place what it is to you aren't there, it will still have an impact, it will still be Home.







Last weekend, I went home.

Um...I didn't die, I promise

So, if anyone still reads this then let me apologize again for my lack of writing. It's not because I don't love you. Because I totally do. Mostly it's because I was trying really hard to graduate college while I was still 30. It's ridiculous, I know, but I just wanted to say I had graduated college by the time I was 30. 31 just sounds weirder. It's my OCD with numbers.

Um, so I did it. I graduated. I passed my last semester of classes and will walk in April as UVU only does one commencement a year. Go me! It's a huge accomplishment in my book. Nigh unto finishing my mission, which may sound ridiculous unless you've been there. A few years ago I felt like I hadn't really accomplished anything with my life and now I can say that I served a mission and graduated college. My parents would also like to see me add "got married and had kids" to my list of accomplishments, but these things take time.

I don't know if I ever mentioned this, but after years and years of really awesome self doubt and frustration with Heavenly Father about how my life was playing out, I am actually really cool with being single. Does it still suck living in Utah County where I am pretty much an old maid? Yeah, it kind of does. Mostly because there are no prospects here. There are LOTS of single guys, but none that I can ever see myself dating let alone marrying. They are also, on average, around seven or eight years younger than me. And I'm not really the cougar type. SO, waiting it is. I worked out a deal with my Heavenly Father that I think will work out great for all involved. And, you know what? I'm actually pretty excited about it. I feel like I took a really really long time getting to this place in my life where I finally see things  in a much broader perspective. And I'm willing to wait a little longer for things that will be better in my life. Guys, this is going to be my year. I can feel it. I've got so much coming my way and I can't wait to see all my hard work and plans come full circle.

Any way, if any of you are still reading this, just let me know. If not, I don't know. I'll probably just start adding poems that I wrote and stuff.

BTW, I got a poem published. That was cool.

I'm NOT dead!!!

I thought I wrote a post or two this summer. Apparently I did not. Sorry about that. I feel like I write so infrequently that people have probably given up on me by now. To anyone still reading, thank you! You are truly a gem!

So, what's new with me? I started school again. This is the beginning of the end. It's kind of really scary. I moved home to save money, and have been writing up a storm. A lot of what I've been writing is really terrible, but has a lot of potential. This is the part of writing I dislike. The writing things out knowing that you're going to have to go back and rewrite it again. I know that in the end I'll be so happy with the result, but right now it's just hard to think about. All the work. All the edits. All the criticism. I try to not think about them and focus on the exciting beginning parts.

I wrote three stories on Thursday. In all three stories, someone dies. Apparently I am a killer, fictionally speaking.

I started a story about a girl who knows that she's unique and different than anyone else but has to hide who she is for a time because no one would understand who she is or how amazing she is. She's got super powers (because why not?!) and she meets a boy that looks like superman and they become friends. This is funny because she's the one with the super powers. ha ha. Here, I'll share a little bit of the story with you. It's a Flash Fiction piece, and it's a very very rough draft, but I hope you like it:

I was five. It was a Tuesday. Dad had just taken me to the comic book store. The newest Captain America comic had come out, so obviously I needed it. Mom never understood. Tuesdays were not her favorite days.

Dad's funeral was on a Tuesday. I remember because Mom took me to the comic book store after. I think she was trying to take my mind off of him dying, but she didn't realize that the whole trip permanently associated Tuesdays with Dad's funeral. She was a mess. Couldn't stop crying. No one could blame her. A widow at twenty eight with a freak for a daughter.

I was never like the other kids. Dad got that, Mom struggled. She always wanted the pretty little princess of a girl. I have always preferred comic books to fairy tales. This is really when my love for Tuesdays began. See, kids picked on me at school so the first Tuesday of my second grade year, Dad took me to the comic book store. Superman, Batman, Iron Man, all of them were there. I seemed to understand them, and they me. I drank them in like water on a hot day.

I grew up alone. Kind of like Spiderman; except without the radioactive spider bite. I was more like Superman in that I came by my “abilities” from birth.

My dad always told me that I was born with open eyes so I could take in everything. I still miss him sometimes. It's an odd sensation-missing someone. There's nothing you can do to see or hear from them again, and yet it's like they are just barely out of reach.

On this particular Tuesday, I was really missing Dad. I went to pick up the new Wolverine comic. Last weeks had been a cliffhanger and I was dying to know what happened. I walked in to the old store. It smelled like old books and cigarette smoke. A couple of kids played on the pinball machine. I saw Lenny, the owner.

“Hey kid. Come for the new one?” He sounded like he was from Brooklyn, which is funny because he grew up in Clevland.

“Yeah, you got it?” I asked, pretty sure of the answer.

“Is it Tuesday?” Was his response. Yes. It was Tuesday, most blessed of days. Lenny pulls it straight from the box and hands it to me. I hand over the cash with exact change. He counts it and laughs as he opens the register with a ding.

“I'll never understand how you do that.” He talks to me, but neither of us are actually paying attention to each other.

“It's a talent.” I say as an afterthought, completely engrossed in my new comic. I walk out the door without looking and run into something. My glasses go flying and I find myself sprawled on the ground, which has never happened to me before. I tend to be a little more on the Superman side in that aspect too.

“Hi, I'm Clark. I just moved here from Kansas.” He holds out his hand for me to shake. Is this guy for real?

“Hi, I'm Emi. I'm from here.” I say as I take his hand. We shake hands briefly and then he takes a step away to pick up my glasses. I put them back on, even though I don't need them and take him in. He's taller than me, has dark curl hair, I'm guessing his plaid shirt comes in several colors, and he probably owns them all. Before I get ahead of myself, I turn to him and say,

“So, Clark, how do you feel about Tuesdays?” A grin crosses his face.

“It's the best day of the week. Is that the new Wolverine comic?! I was just going to buy it!”

“Yes. And this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship, Clark. I just know it.”

..... ...... .....so..... ........ .......what did you think? It's jumpy, timeline wise, but I have a hard time staying in one place. Especially when I'm working on LIGHTS, which I currently am. Ah LIGHTS. Have I mentioned lately how much I LOVE that story? Time travel, attractive men, fighting, drama. *sigh* it's just so fantastic. I love it. 

I rewrote the beginning of LIGHTS and have added so much to the story. It is so much better than what I started with. The idea behind it is so much deeper and broader. Oh my gosh, I love it. SO. MUCH. 

I also have an idea in my head of who I would like to play both Ian and Donnavan in the movie (because it's totally going to happen). And here they are:

This guy, here, is who I see playing Donnavan. Dark hair, kind of mysterious, totally capable of being a completely devious character that is out to destroy all that is good and light. Yep. I have found my Donnavan. His real name is Jackson Hurst and he is from the TV show Drop Dead Diva, which is a favorite of mine. Total guilty pleasure show. The ironic thing is he plays a really nice decent human being on that show and I want him to be the villain. I think he can do it. 

And this guy over here is who I picture playing Ian. I actually met him last weekend at Comic Con, and it was further proof that I was right in wanting to cast him. He is a genuinely nice person in real life, which is always a plus. He's from the TV show Arrow as the main guy, Oliver Queen. His real name is Stephen Amell. 

And I know what you're thinking, But Sooz, WHAT ABOUT TOM?!?!?!?!?! It is indeed a very good question. But I can't cast Tom Hiddleston in all my movies. That would get boring. 

Well, I hope you have a fantastic week! Or month! Or however long it takes for me to write again!! 

TA-DA!!

I haven't written in a while, and I hope you all will forgive me. I am actually supposed to be working on Math homework right now, but I was just sooo excited to be finished! I can't believe it! It is finished. I have finally finished an entire story. I finished my screenplay today. All 110 pages of it. Done. Finished. Complete. Amazing. Ah, such a relief!!!! I am so proud of myself for FINALLY finishing an entire story! I still have edits to do. Oh, the edits. It is really cheesy right now because it's a rough draft. Such a rough draft, BUT, it is a finished draft. Oh my gosh. I can't believe I finished it!!! And now that I've accomplished one, I will work on others until they are all done and I'll tell all the stories!!! HOORAY!!!

Let's all be excited. Time to go watch the Late Night with Jimmy Fallon episodes I've missed because I'm doing homework. TA-DA!!! YAY!

New Movie Idea

So, I have to write a 15 minute movie for my screen writing class and I had this GENIUS idea. What if I wrote the first scene of LIGHTS into a movie? Wouldn't that be AMAZING?!?!?! And the answer, obviously, is YES. ABSOLUTELY. UNDOUBTABLY. YES. So, as soon as I finish it, I will post it on here for you to catch an early glimpse. Ta-da! Be excited. I know you can't wait! It's going to LEGEN-WAIT-FOR-IT-DARY!!!! LEGENDARY!!!

Midterm Catch Up

So sorry, dear readers, for leaving you hanging for so long! I'm past midterms and well on my way to the end of the semester. This semester has been a game changer for me. No longer am I constantly looking for the elusive Dean Carmichael. I'm also not going into English Ed. anymore either. WHAT?!?!?! I know, I know you were just thinking the same thing. Let me 'esplain. There is too much, let me sum up:

I was minding my own business last week, just hanging out, working on a script for screen writing, enjoying my life and all of that and then I went to bed because it was late. How anti-climatic, I know. That night I had a dream that I was going to lunch with Joss Whedon, Tom Hiddleston and Chris Hemsworth. I wasn't freaking out in my dream, it was a very regular day in the context of the dream. My phone rang and it was one of my current friends. I went to answer it and woke up. Well that was weird,  I thought to myself as I got up and got ready for the day. Too bad that will probably never happen. And I started another super crazy day. I turned in my script, we read it in class, talked about it's strengths (jokes about botulism) and it's weaknesses (your characters are too normal. They have quirks, bring out the quirks!) and after I got home from another long day I went to bed and had another dream. Much like the first. This continued, and the situation was always similar. Me, California, screenwriting, Tom Hiddleston.
      I don't really know where the whole Tom Hiddleston thing came from. I've been vehement about not liking him because this girl I know pins like 25-115 pictures of him on Pinterest a day. That's worse than my craziest Doctor Who day! So, after I woke up from the dream where I was going to the Oscar's with Tom Hiddleston because I'd been nominated for Best Screenplay, I told my room mate about it and the dream wouldn't leave me all day. It was weird. So, I did what I do best. I watched a movie. With Tom Hiddleston in it. And thought about the complexity of dreaming and life.
    I told Tango about my dreams and he was jealous because he is as much a fan of Tom Hiddleston as I now am. He commented on how he feels that Tom Hiddleston would make a good Jason Tyde. At first I adamantly opposed the very idea because Tom is not as broad as Jason is. He doesn't really look the part. However, he could nail the emotion perfectly. If you don't know anything about Tom Hiddleston aside from Thor and The Avengers, he's well known for being incredibly polite and respectful. Kind of the polar opposite of the character he plays in those movies. And I have come around and actually think he would be a very good Jason Tyde. Good 'ol Jason. Gosh I love that guy.

    I have always dreamed of being a writer. And this semester I have fallen in love with screenwriting. My dad asked me recently how school was and I told him how much I LOVE writing. I should seriously make it my career. I explained it like this:
     I once read a talk from Pres. Eyring about when he was young his dad really pushed him to get a degree in Physics, but he didn't like Physics. He was struggling a little bit and asked his dad for help. They looked over it together and went on with life. The next day his dad came to him and asked about the question. Pres. Eyring said he hadn't thought about it since they looked at it. His dad looked surprised, and said something to the effect of, "don't you think about Physics all the time when you have nothing else to think about?" and Pres. Eyring said he didn't. His dad thought for a minute and then replied, "Find what you love to do, that it is what you think about when you have nothing else on your mind." I have loved the idea of truly loving what you do. I love writing and think about it often, but as I have taken this screenwriting class I have learned that it is what I think about when I have nothing else on my mind. It consumes me and I LOVE thinking about what story I want to tell and how I'm going to tell it.
    Oh, and Dean. Wonderful Dean. Wherever he is, I feel that he is busy, and the time is not at hand for us to meet. And, you know what, that's totally okay. I don't think I'll be getting married for a little while longer. And usually I say I'm okay with it, but I'm freaking out inside. This time, however, I'm totally okay with it. I'll probably get married when I'm 32, which is fine. And although this whole prospect scares me to death, I'm excited and hopeful.
     Thus, the explanation. I am going to become a screenwriter and after some extensive conversations with my Heavenly Father over the last 2 weeks, the plans I had for my life have begun to shift and it's looking like I will get a degree in screenwriting and hopefully get a job in California and go do that whole thing. Very specific plans, I know. I'm awesome like that.
    So there you have it. A catch up on my life thus far. Be excited, friends, because although everything I'm reaching for terrifies me, I know that with Heavenly Father on my side, I won't fail.

I'm giving a Gold Star for those that actually read the whole thing!!

What up, my friends????? Long time no post, I know. That's how it goes with me, though, you know? So, updates...I live in the same complex as DJ now, different building, but our buildings are kiddie corner to each other. I see him in the parking lot sometimes. And that's the end of that story. There's a know guy at work. He's super adorable. Lets call him Steve, because I haven't called anyone Steve yet. And I apparently like that name today. But yeah, Steve sits in the desk behind me and we talk and it's fun. He's a nice guy. Good friend.

It was crown day today. According to my room mate. I haven't come up with clever nicknames for my room mates yet, so I won't really get in to those stories, mkay?

I have been writing. Oh, have I been writing. Would you like to read some of it? Yeah? Okay, here are a couple of little pieces I've written for my creative writing class. Also, I'm taking a screen writing class and it's A-MAZING. I kind of want to go in to screen writing professionally, I think it would be AWESOME. Also, that would give me so much more creative control over my books when they get published and then made into movies. I'd be the screenwriter. Ta-da!!! Any way, here you go:

A side note: PLEASE, please, please, don't copy or quote, or use any of my writing without my permission. This is all REALLY personal stuff and I am only sharing it here to get a little feedback. So, with that being said, on with the show!!

Here's a piece of Flash Fiction:

Mistaken

I asked her not to. She didn't listen. Why didn't she listen? I didn't want to go. I didn't want to do this. But I did. I did do this. And now I can't go back. Back to the way things were. Why? Why can't I go back to the way things were? Because it's too late. And now there's blood, I don't even know who's blood it is. Everywhere. Pooling around me. Make it stop.


I look for a towel, but there isn't anything. I start to panic. I'm surprised it's taken this long to set in. I don't know what to do. What do I do? I can't find a towel. I don't want to use my shirt, but it's the only cloth I can find. Why isn't there anything else here? What am I doing? Why am I here? I'm not supposed to be here. This isn't supposed to happen. This....this...too late....


“Steve, are you okay?” I hear her voice, but I don't see her.
“Steve, can you hear me, babe?” There's panic in her voice now. It wasn't there before. Why is she worried about me? I did this. I am the one to blame.



“Steve, I've called the police, they're on their way. Just stay calm, okay?” The panic is rising. She's still talking, but I don't hear the words. I'm not surprised. I would have called the cops, too. Everything is getting dark. Is this how things end? I don't know. I thought there was supposed to be light. Isn't that what they say? A light comes and you walk towards it? I'm only seeing darkness. I thought all those stupid clichés would come true. I guess they really are just clichés. Overused and meaningless. There's the sirens. I can hear them. They're almost here. Time to face my fate. I don't think I'll make it to when they get here. It's all so dim and dark. I just want to sleep. Let me sleep....sleep...it's all a dream now.


I am not a poet, but here is my attempt because I was forced to:

The Railing


I watch from above,
they all look like ants beneath me.
I lean against the railing.
It's there to protect me, but it doesn't.
It's small and thin in comparison
To all that I have,
All that I am,
All that I will become.
It is there to keep me safe.
To remind me of what I stand for
What I believe in,
Why I do what I do.
It is a reflection of my life.


I stand up straight and stretch my arms,
I am tall. I feel like I could fall into the sky
And watch the world fade to nothing.
Nothing.
That is what I want.
I want nothing to fear or hide from.
I don't want expectations or worries.
Nothing in the dark shadows of the night.
It is peaceful then.

Peace and darkness to ease the burden.

AND, finally, a piece of my 10 minute play:

ROUND ONE

(Girls can be heard OS, screaming)

JASON (OS)

Come on, come on! Quick quick quick!

(JASON and KYLA enter the stage through a doorway, they run in hand in hand, laughing.)

KYLA

(breathless)Is it always like that?

JASON

Only when a new article comes out, or when an interview airs on TV. This is nothing compared to premiere weekends. Some events get so bad I don't even come home for a while.

(Jason is still holding Kyla's hand. He looks down at it and lets go.)

KYLA

I can't even imagine that.

JASON

I'm sure this isn't how you expected your summer to end up. I know you like things to be really calm.

KYLA

Yeah, but if dealing with them means I get to spend time with you, then it's worth it. I've had plenty of time begin alone, and to be honest, it's all very exciting being around you.

JASON

Yeah, until they realize that I spend more time with you than anyone else and decide to revolt.

KYLA

I guess we better just keep our friendship a secret then.

(BROOKE enters from the opposite side of the stage. Jason immediately stands between her and Kyla)

JASON

Brooke, what are you doing here? How did you get in?

BROOKE

Oh, come on, Babe, you know I can charm my way into anywhere.

JASON

Seriously, Brooke, I changed the locks, all the door codes, everything.

BROOKE

It took me a little while, but I figured out the code to your garage. I thought you'd be happy to see me. It's been months. I missed you.

JASON

That's nice. So, explain to me what you are doing here.

(Brooke approaches Jason, trying to get a better look at Kyla. Kyla steps out from behind Jason and faces Brooke.)

BROOKE

I'm sorry, I don't believe we've met. I'm Brooke.

KYLA

I know who you are.

BROOKE

I assumed as much, but I'm trying to be polite.

KYLA

I don't know why. I didn't think you cared about anyone but yourself.

(Jason steps between them to separate them again.)

JASON

Okay, Ky, calm down, Brooke, don't give her that look. We both know she's right.I mean, I didn't think you had feelings. I thought you were just a shell of bitterness and self gratification.

BROOKE

Ooooh, and I just thought that maybe you would have changed your mind about this whole misunderstanding.

(Jason's calm demeanor melts at the mention of misunderstanding.)

JASON

It's nice to know you're still dellusion-

BROOKE

I'm not the delusional one! I-

JASON

Just stop, Brooke! I don't want to-

BROOKE

No, you just stop. I came over to try and patch things up.

JASON

And you think I would just let you in and forget about everything?

Brooke

It was a while ago. I hoped that with some time apart you'd see-

JASON

Yeah, that's not happening.

BROOKE

But why?

JASON

Because you cheated on me. Brooke, you lied to me. I used to love everything about you. Why do you want to go back to that, anyway? You weren't happy

DUN DUN DUUUUUNNNNNN!!!!!!! And scene. Well, actually, that's not the whole scene. It's just the beginning. But you get the idea. It's the first time Jason and Brooke have talked since the divorce has been finalized, and I really don't blame him for not wanting to be around her. Brooke is kind of a crazy person. I mean, who cheats on Jason Tyde?!?!??!?!?!!!! 

Any way, I have been busy busy busy. I am all moved in to my new place and love it, except on football game days because I live right next to the stadium. But, otherwise it's pretty fantastic. I'll try and update you a little more frequently. Okay, bye!!!

Oh, and for your viewing pleasure, my thoughts on #hashtags:

If you read this, I'm really okay, I promise.

So, I've been thinking about life again. I should be writing papers right now, or going to the church to set up for FHE, but here I am, thinking about life and about all of you lovely people that still read this blog, or that have just started (hello, new people!!!). I am a very unique individual. I don't use "unique" as code for weird, nerdy, strange, crazy, or insane; although some and/or all of them may apply on any given day. I say that I am unique because there really isn't another one like me. I am my own person. I have amazing talents and gifts that other people don't. I made 150 cupcakes between Friday and Saturday. They looked AMAZING. and I'm not just saying that for a pat on the back, they were beautiful. And I did them. All by myself. I made the cupcakes. I made the frosting. I made the Andes mint fudge. I didn't smash the Oreos because Ale asked to, but beyond that, they were mine. All mine. This may also sound a little self absorbed, but sometimes I don't want people to help me because I want all the credit. I don't like sharing. maybe because I usually have a vision of what I want and I feel that if other people get involved I'll lose my sight and then I have to tell people that other people helped me, and with this project, I wanted it all. I still ended up having to share the credit, but that's okay. Because I know that I did it all. They were mine. All mine. And I am so proud of myself for accomplishing my goal despite really unfortunate set backs.
    I am also unique (and this is really where I was going with this...just had to vent about the cupcakes) because I am 28 years old, and I am still very single. So many of my friends are married with 1 or 2 kids and their lives and stresses and worries are completely different than mine. I love my life. I absolutely love it. I was talking to my sister in law the other day and we were talking about how the grass is always greener on the other side, which is so true. I look at my friends that are married and think "do you realize how lucky you are? Do you see how amazing your life is? Do you know what I would give to have what you have? You're so lucky!!!!" Each day of our lives presents itself with challenges, and I understand that. And now that I've shared my secret envy of my friends, I will share with you another little secret. I'm also really okay with my life. Have I said that enough in this post? I'm totally okay with my life right now. I'm taking steps forward and putting plans into action (except for the writing my papers right now thing....I really need to work on that one). I have come to terms with, and accepted, that it is a possibility I might not get married in this life. Now, before you call me and tell me how I'm going to find someone and that I'm giving up to soon (because I've found that is a response I get quite regularly when people ask if I'm dating someone and I tell them I'm not looking). This does not mean that I don't want to get married, I do-believe me, I do!!! This also doesn't mean that I've given up on looking for Dean. This just means that if the opportunity never presents itself, I will be okay. I have plans for my life and they are AMAZING plans!!! I can't be best friends with Adam Levine and Matt Smith if I'm married with kids. That would be awkward. If I was single, I could do all the crazy things I dream about sometimes. I could publish some books, open a bakery, and then go travel through Europe. Get lost in Ireland. Randomly end up in Cardiff where they film Doctor Who. If I'm going to dream, I might  as well dream big, you know? So, that's what I'm doing. And then, when I do happen to meed Dean Carmichael (whether in this life, or the next) I will know that everything he and I have been through will have made us stronger and better for each other. I will fully understand why I was asked to travel this path alone for as long as I will be asked to. That day will be a glorious one, and I can't wait to meet him. And I know that patience is a virtue, and one that I feel I have learned a lot of. But I actually really love it. patience is still a hard thing for me, but knowing that the longer I wait *patiently*, the greater blessings I can receive.
     I do love my life. And I expect great things from myself. I know that I can do hard things. I know that I can accomplish great things, and I know that my Heavenly Father has tried to help me see all that He has in store for me for a while now. I finally figured out how to listen. And it's a beautiful future, no matter what happens. I hope we can all find that joy in the journey. I hope we can all find the peace that the gospel brings. If you don't have that peace, I hope you can find it. There is nothing that compares.

And then they all died. It was sad. I ugly cried. It was horrible.

     I feel like all of my favorite shows are killing off main characters. I hate it when they do this. Downton Abbey being at the top of the list. SERIOUSLY GUYS, what's wrong with you writers?!?!?!!?  Stop the hate! Stop the killing!! Just let my characters live and give them drama some other way!!!!!! At least Sherlock isn't *actually* dead. But seriously. Stop the dying-ness peoples! Maybe I'll just become a screenwriter so that I have a say in who lives and who dies!!
I told myself I HAD to work on homework today...right now, in fact....so, of course I'm writing on my blog instead. Obviously. I've been thinking a lot about life lately. What I want, where I'm going, what I want out of it, you know, the usual questions. I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but every year around my birthday I write a letter to my future husband. Sounds odd, I'm sure, but it's kind of a marker for me to check back and see where I've come from and what I hope for in the future. Any way, I started this year's letter back in January and didn't finish it. I picked it back up this last weekend and finished it without reading the beginning, then I went back and read the whole thing. I surprised myself quite a bit. The first part of my letter was really sad. Like really sad. I think I was freaking out about being 28 and not married (and if anyone reading this isn't LDS, or from Utah, you probably don't see that as a bad thing) and I kind of wrote it out in a letter. But then, this last weekend (and the last few weeks) I have just been really positive and LOVING life and looking forward to some huge new changes ahead for me. And so I wrote those out in my letter too and it was really surprising to me that I have been really down lately. I hadn't really noticed.
     Any way, yeah, life-it's getting better. I have been working on LIGHTS a lot lately and I am so in love with Ian and Emma and their relationship. I'm going to take them to the very edge, though. I'm going to make them question everything and they're going to have to rely on each other and hope that somehow they don't die and make it out together. I think that this is the best way for me to solidify how much they care about each other. Also, it adds the drama needed to promote a story. Because what is a story without an issue or drama? A boring sugar coated story that is hard to relate to, because we all have problems. We do, it's just the way things work. So, don't hate me when you think Ian is dead or Emma has forgotten about him. It'll be okay, I promise. Trust me, I'm the writer :)
     In other news, I have been baking up a storm lately and I have to say that I am so proud of myself when I finish a project whether its baking or sewing or writing. I love creating things, and I love accomplishing them too! It's awesome!! I'll post pictures soon. Because they're fantastic!!!
     Um....I think that is about it. Life is GREAT!!! I love writing and baking and everything about my life right now. I'm working on some things that I'll blog about later, but for now, I'm doing good and hope you are too!!!

1/1/13...that's a lot of 1s

Oh my gosh, I'm so tired. I hit 4 different parties last night. Got home around 3, slept in a bit and I am still thinking that is NEVER happening again. Too much running around. BUT, it was great to see so many people! I also saw a really fantastic fireworks show put on by my pyro of a brother. He was like a little kid on Christmas morning. Okay, maybe not THAT excited, but I know he had fun, and I had fun watching them all go off.
    Christmas was amazing! It was just super great! I got some really awesome presents and got to spend time with my amazing family. Also, I thought my car had died, but it didn't!!!! That was STUPENDOUS!! A quick fix and my good little Logan car is back on his feet!...or tires?? But yeah, he's fine and I'm back to the freedom having a car permits.
     It's 2013. That's crazy. I enter this new year with high hopes and hopefully big plans. School, of course, is part of that plan. I also want to finish either Lights, or Changing Tyde. Either one would be fabulous. I'd like to get the ball rolling on that whole dream. I also am kind of hoping Dean Carmichael shows up sometime. That would be amazing. BUT, he might not come this year, or ever (and I can hear the protests about me being young and all that....) I know that when I turn 28 in about a month doesn't make me that old, and there is definitely still hope that I will get married, but it might not happen, and if it doesn't, I'm still going to have an AMAZING life. Focused on the goals I have regardless of my marital status.
    A good friend of mine blogged about Plan A and Plan B and starting to focus on Plan B because Plan A doesn't look like it's going to work out and how hard it is to give up on the plan you really wanted for one you just set aside in case. I have felt this way MANY times. And I love this dear friend so much!!
    One thing I love about last summer was that I spent the summer focusing on me and what I really wanted in life and I set goals and plans that I like to call my Plan AB. I am going to accomplish these plans and goals whether or not Dean comes around. He might be super busy right now, and maybe he died in the war in heaven, you know? I can't spend the rest of my life wishing him here, because that obviously doesn't work. ha ha.
    But, it is hard at times when it seems everyone who had even the slightest possibility of a relationship is now engaged. A couple of weeks ago every day Facebook informed me of a different friend that had just gotten engaged. I really started to avoid social networking for a while. This next year is going to be really awesome, or really really depressing. I think I'll go back to avoiding wedding receptions. Sometimes, it's just easier that way.
    Now that I have successfully brought down the mood of my blog....Um, I have been working a lot on LIGHTS lately and I fall more and more in love with those characters the more I write them into existence. Ian and Emma are such amazing and beautiful people. They are both such strong fighters, which is good because I am going to put them through quite the journey. I can see that story turning into a series, which will be awesome. I am so excited. I stay up late and write sometimes. I can't help it!!! I love it so much!!!!

...and for your reading pleasure...

I know its been a while since I posted...November...what can I say? Its always a rough month! Any way, I had this idea for a story a while back and have been playing with it. In the first chapter the main character, Emmalee, meets this intriguing guy named Ian. Here is what she first sees: I had never seen anyone quite like him. There was an air about him that pulled me in. He was charismatic without speaking. He was twenty feet away and I couldn't comprehend anything beyond this moment. He was tall, at least 6' 2". He had sandy blonde hair that was organized chaos. His green eyes caught every fleck of light which made them shine so brightly. The only thing that could have been brighter was his smile. It was a knowing, teasing smile that was like a magnet. His clothing was well fitted. From his white with a blue pin stripe running down it to his well tailored khakis. He had rolled up the long sleeves of his shirt which I generally would have scoffed at, but he made it look so good. On his right hand he wore a ring. At first it looked simple, but I noticed it was catching each fleck of light around as his hand moved. It had the strangest effect on me; I wanted to see it more closely. His watch also caught the same light from his left wrist. It's definitely a work in progress, but hopefully you caught a glimpse of him. I love Ian. He's so awesome. He's got so much mystery about him that you're always wanting to know more and more about him, but he won't tell you. It's a secret. And Emmalee is a dancer. A really really good dancer. She does ballet. She's ridiculously good at it. And then she meets Ian and her whole world changes. I've got a working title of "Lights" for it. And I love it. I'm also gradually putting together a playlist that I listen to while writing it. I'll share it with you soon! Any way, I have 3 8-10 page papers due by next week, so you probably won't hear from me until Christmas and I will tell you a story! A real story from my actual real life!! YAY!!!!

Hello Fall, I'm glad we're friends.

It's fall time. I love fall time. It starts cooling down and the leaves start changing. Its this time of year that I really really miss North Carolina. The trees there are everywhere and I absolutely loved it when they fell all over the ground and made everything a little more colorful. A-MAZING.
    School started and I along with it. I'm taking some English classes (surprise surprise) and at the beginning of the semester I had this feeling just couldn't shake. Its hard to explain unless you've felt it, but I have only ever felt it one of time in my life, and that was the day I knew my mission call was waiting at home while I was not at home. Its the craziest feeling EVER. You may be wondering why exactly I was feeling this feeling again. I'm not going on another mission. I'm not really anticipating any huge new development in life, and yet the feeling would not leave me. It stuck around like the smell of cupcakes you are making for someone else. its actually kind of horrible in a non horrible way. Like I said, I can't really explain it. I still don't know what it was all for, but I'm back to my routine of work/school/social life/sleep....be jealous.
    I hung out with Liam last week, just he and I, which has never really happened. It was crazy/fun. He's such a cool guy. I'm really glad we are friends.
    I met a new guy at church on Sunday. Lets call him new guy, or NG. He's not from around here, and he's not like super duper attractive. He's actually kind of average looking, and yet, I am drawn to him. I met him Sunday and have hung out with him everyday since then. Yesterday we talked for about an hour. He's a really cool guy and I am really excited to get to know him better. watch for details, if ever there are any. :)
    The Voice started on Monday. I love The Voice. Mostly because I LOVE Adam Levine. We're going to be BFFs one day. AND, that's just not me talking either, all of my friends think it will happen too. So, someday, somehow I am going to be best friends with Adam Levine and its going to be so cool. And then he'll write a song for my book turned into a movie. That's going to be a great day. And all of you can say to yourself and all of your friends "I remember when I thought she was crazy writing on her blog about being friends with Adam Levine, but look, it actually happened. And then you'll text me and want to meet him. I know how these things go. And the answer is, we'll see what happens. Ha ha ha. you guys are great.
    I went out to my car last night after class and someone wrote on my driver's side window. It was awesome. I felt super special and loved.

    Okay, I think I should go. My class starts soon and I should probably pay attention. Have fun!!!

I heart....

....many things, but today I heart Zachary Levi, especially in this song:

Confession: Sometimes I watch Tangled just to hear his voice. Ha ha ha, actually I LOVE that movie because it is AWESOME. but, I do love that he can actually sing quite well. CRAZY, I know. PLUS, in the music video he doesn't have a beard! that's pretty awesome because he almost always has a beard, as you can see in the picture George sent me a few months back.

I also heart my Changing Tyde soundtrack playlist that I will now share with all of you!!! HOORAY!!! K, so the layout is this: Song Title, Artist, Album. ENJOY!!!

Breathe In Breathe Out, Mat Kearney, Nothing Left to Lose

Rainy Zurich, The Fray, Scars & Stories (Deluxe Version)

All We Are, Matt Nathanson, Some Mad Hope

Black & Gold, Sam Sparro, Black & Gold

Look After You, The Fray, How To Save A Life

Down, Jason Walker, Jason Walker

Movie Screens, Meese, Broadcast

Everybody Hurts, Avril Lavigne, Goodbye Lullaby

Stitch By Stitch, Javier Colon, Stitch By Stitch

Make Me Believe, Angel Taylor, Love Travels

Wrong Side of Love, Augustana, Augustana

I'm Ready, Jack's Mannequin, Everything In Transit

Jump Then Fall, Taylor Swift, Fearless (Platinum Edition)

Say You're Mine, Kate Voegele, Gravity Happens (Deluxe Edition)

Stars Falling Down, Kina Grannis, Stairwells

Runaway, Maroon 5, Hands All Over

Run, Snow Patrol, Final Straw

Real, The Goo Goo Dolls, Real

Love Comes Tumbling Down ,Matt Nathanson, Modern Love

Where You Are, Gavin DeGraw, Sweeter

All This Time, OneRepublic, Waking Up

The Only Exception, Paramore, Brand New Eyes

Now Comes the Night [Live], Rob Thomas, Something to Be

Let Love In, The Goo Goo Dolls, Let Love In

With You Around, Yellowcard, When You're Through Thinking, Say Yes (Acoustic Version)

Unsaid (EP Ver.), The Fray, Reason [EP]

The Man Who Can't Be Moved, The Script, The Script

A Twist in My Story, Secondhand Serenade, A Twist in My Story

Come Home, OneRepublic & Sara Bareilles, Come Home - Single

My Sundown, Jimmy Eat World, Bleed American

More Than Anyone, Gavin DeGraw, Chariot

Be Still, The Fray, Scars & Stories (Deluxe Version)

God Gave Me You, Blake Shelton, Red River Blue

Ours, Taylor Swift, Ours - Single

Also, the goal is set. I will have my first draft of my book done in a month. I am almost done with finals (hallelujah!!!) and will now be able to spend even more time WRITING!!! YAY! Everyone should be happy about that!!! 

Any way, have a great week! I love you all!!

The Stress Cycle

When I'm stressed, I bake. You can always tell the level of which I am stressed based on the amount of baking I am doing. When I bake, I have a lot of food, when I have a lot of food, I like to share. When I share, it makes people happy. When people are happy they pass it on. Therefore, its probably a good thing I am stressed. Right? Ha ha.

     This semester is quickly coming to a close and with it is an added desire to write my little heart out. Jason Tyde is doing really really good right now and has my undivided attention for at least 30 minutes every day right now. Last Wednesday I sat down and wrote 20 single spaced pages, which equals close to 40 double spaced (which is the proper way to submit a manuscript) and I finally feel like I am making progress again! HOORAY!!!! Be so happy! The story has taken a turn I was not anticipating, but I think it is an AMAZING turn of events that will work out best for everyone.

    So, the last three nights I have had a similar dream. I keep having this dream that I am dating this really great guy and we do everything together, and then I wake up and it takes me a minute to shift back to reality. Although I do like these dreams, they also frustrate me. But, Dean is somewhere and sooner or later he will show up and we'll run off to the sunset together. ha ha. That will be a fun adventure, I am sure.

   I went and saw The Hunger Games after I finished the reading them. I love Peeta. AND, not only that, but the guy that plays Peeta in the movie (Josh Hutcherson) would be the PERFECT Nick if my book ever gets made into a movie. Seriously. Just look at him. PERFECT. Okay, he looks a little young, but that's good because by the time my book gets made into a movie he'll look like he's in his mid twenties. One day....one day my book will be done and we will make it into a movie and everyone will remember today when I was randomly talking about baking and dreaming.

    Um, so my BFF at my morning job, lets call him Tango, asked me to put together a soundtrack for Changing Tyde and I took my 150 song playlist down to 35 songs because he wanted to hear what I hear when I write. It has been an AMAZING tool to keep the story in mind. Its just been a FANTASTIC week. I will post the list later, I promise. Then you can hear what I hear when I look at the world...or at least the world of Jason and Kyla.

Almost Christmas

I kind of waited until November was over to post again so as to not jinx myself more than I already had. November and I still don't get along.
    I had an interesting experience over the last few weeks. I met a guy in my ward who seemed like a cool guy. I flirted with him a little bit, and he flirted back which was awesome. So, I hung out with him a few times, but it seemed like the more I got to know him, the more I felt like something was off. Not that he was a bad person, but just something was off. So, I noticed he was always flirting with this other girl too, and thats when it hit me. I felt like I was his 2nd choice (because I was...he probably still thinks I am) and I really don't like feeling like the 2nd choice. Who wants to feel that way? I have reflected a lot on why I feel this way, and I have come to this conclusion: over the past year I was totally in love with Digger and he became a really good friend to me, and the one thing he has always commented on and tried to pound in my head is that I am worth so much more than I give myself credit for. He was always reminding me of the amazing qualities I have and of the talents I continually share. I know that I needed a friend like Digger so that way when someone tried to put me as their 2nd choice, I'd realize it, and not stand for it. I am good enough to be someone's 1st choice, and I shouldn't sell myself short.
     On an entirely different note, I am done with another semester of school, and hopefully I did alright. By the end there, I really didn't care anymore. I just wanted to be done, and now I am! And lucky for me, I am already working on the reading for next semester. I will be reading about 2 books a week for my Young Adult Literature class, starting with Go Ask Alice and Catcher In The Rye; neither of which have I read. I am looking forward to next semester, I think it will be a great adventure and I can't wait to see what happens!!
     Also, its Christmas next week, and as it gets closer, I really start to hate large groups of people in stores and really just want to focus on the actual Christmas story and the reason we celebrate it. I love the Savior, and I love all that this season actually means.

Remember Remember the 5th of November....or something

A long time ago my friend Fort told me I should watch the show V for Vendetta, but I never did because its rated R. But there is a line, and essentially the main theme of the movie revolves around Guy Fawkes day which happens to be the 5th of November. So, next year when it rolls around, remember remember the 5th of November, okay people? ha ha ha.

So, its November. I generally struggle in November. For examples, you can look here or here or here...just for a few examples. This year has turned out to be a prize winning year as well. However, when all is said and done, my car will hopefully be good to go for a while longer *fingers crossed*.

Have you seen the show Once Upon A Time on ABC? that show is like CRACK to me. OH MY GOODNESS. This is the season of fairy tales, sort of, because you have Once Upon A Time from the creators of LOST, and then you have Grimm, which I watched part of the pilot and had to watch something really happy after because it is kind of freaky. So, I will stick with Once Upon a Time, PLUS, Prince Charming is really quite attractive. He was actually in THOR, but you probably wouldn't pick him out in that movie because 1-Chris Hemsworth is in it, and B-He looks COMPLETELY different in Thor than he does in Once Upon A Time. I think the thing I like about Prince Charming is he's a believable attractive. It is entirely possible you'd run into someone as attractive as him in real life. He's normal attractive, which I think makes me more attractive. Does that even make sense? It made sense to me, but I tend to be strange.

   I don't really care for Snow White's dress in the beginning, apparently feathers are in fashion this year...which I find....weird. Just sayin...but I do still LOVE this show. After this last episode I am DYING for more! Sunday can't come fast enough! I know that I'm going to get frustrated and end up totally bugged that the happy ending isn't happening as fast as I want it to, but, we'll see how long it lasts, right? RIGHT!




On an entirely different subject, I got super sick a couple weeks ago. Like I came home from work not feeling so great at about 4:00PM and laid down for a nap....and about 12 hours later I woke up wide awake in the middle of the night! YAY! I didn't know what else to do, so I popped in Captain America and watched it until almost the very end. I love that movie. I have been in love with Chris Evans for a really long time. I confess I only watched Fantastic Four, Push, and The Perfect Score because he was in them. And now he is Capt. America.
I think Capt. America is my favorite super hero movie, and not just because of Chris Evans, but because I really liked the story of it too. It was well done and I am SOOOOOOO excited to see The Avengers in May. I don't like going to midnight shows anymore, but I will be going to the midnight showing of that one! How can you not be excited?!?!?!?! You've got Iron Man, Thor, Capt. America, Hawkeye, The Hulk.....and that one chick that I don't really like, but seriously, you've got an AMAZING collection of super awesome super heroes!!!! I am soooo excited! I saw the first preview for it and freaked out. Don't judge, please. I'm a geek, and I know it.

In other news, I am not failing any of my classes in school, and for the first time in a really really long time, I am scheduled for next semester before the end of this semester. CRAZY, I know. One day I will be free from school for forever, but until that day, I will keep trudging along!

I know I have sounded really frustrated and bitter to those who have actually talked to me this month, but in reality, I actually am really grateful for a lot of things, and I am grateful that even though November is a hard month for me, its a really great learning opportunity. Just don't expect much for Christmas from me, because I am broke!!! HA HA HA!!!!

And hey, be happy, I have been working on Changing Tyde. Its coming along, and I am LOVING it! Just don't tell my Ethics and Values professor that I haven't been paying much attention to his lecture on Nietzsche...

5 years ago...

Five years ago tomorrow (Sept. 13th) I went into the MTC to start my missionary service. Isn't that CRAZY!?!?!?! Five whole years have passed since I started a journey that would change the rest of my life. Its amazing! And, do you know how I'm going to celebrate this momentous occasion? I am going to watch this movie:

Because A.) Its a wicked awesome movie!
And 2.) because Chris Hemsworth is ATTRACTIVE....isn't he just so beautiful!?!?! Yeah...he is...

It comes out on DVD tomorrow, which I feel is entirely appropriate! What better way to celebrate than that!?!?!?! he he he...so fun! The only thing that would be better is if Captain America was also coming out on DVD...but alas, it won't be out for a while yet.



On an entirely random note: I am totally loving school, though it is completely kicking my trash!!! I have learned, however, that when you choose a major that you actually enjoy...you actually like the classes you are required to take! Crazy how that works, isn't it!?!?!?!

New Adventures!

Sorry I haven't written in forever! Emmalee read me what she had posted, and I think she summed up my life at the moment quite well. She's a great secretary, I think everyone should have an Emmalee.
    So, I told a friend of mine I'd make his birthday cake in September. I don't think I've talked about him before, so we're just going to call him Ty. Any way, I told Ty I'd make his cake and yesterday I was hanging out with him and a few other people at Coldstone and he said "Hey Sooz, I want that kind of cake" pointing at an ice cream cake. "Okay" I said and he was like "Really? Aren't those kind of hard to make?" and I gave him that look like 'are you doubting my domestic skills?' and then I responded with, "I love a challenge" SO, I am going to do a trial run this weekend I think...who wants ice cream cake???? Let me know if you live in the general vicinity of my house :)
    On an entirely random note, sort of entirely random because I had Emma make mention of it last post, but I saw the new Jane Eyre movie and I LOVE it. Even though its REALLY sad...until the end. It does end well, that made me happy. After watching the movie I read the book, and I liked them both really well!
However, I feel that the girl that plays Jane in the movie is an awkward kisser. I know this is random, and I refuse to admit how many times I have watched this movie since I first saw it...but its a lot, and at first I was trying to figure out why its awkward when they kiss...and its totally because she's AWKWARD. SUPER AWKWARD. Go watch the movie and you'll totally see what I mean!
BUT, in watching this movie, I thought the guy that plays Mr. Rochester (Michael Fassbender is his name), looked kind of familiar...like I'd seen him in something else recently. He kind of looks a little like Hugh Jackman at first, and then it hit me...He's MAGNETO in X-Men: First Class!!!!!!!! Another of my recent favorite movies! Only he's more attractive in that one because he has short hair and no facial hair.AND, because in Jane Eyre, Mr. Rochester is like 40 or something and they totally made him look older than he actually is (he's actually 34...in case you were wondering...).
  
     Um...I'm in school this semester. Yay for Soozee! I'm going back full time...lets pray I don't die, or fail. Both would be equally horrible. I am taking 2 English classes (Critical Intro. to Literature, as well as Post 1800 British Literature) a health class, and an Ethics and Values class that I am no very excited for, however, after this semester I only have math to get through and I'm completely DONE with generals!!! HOORAY!!! Be excited/happy for/with me!!!!
     Many of my brothers will die after I confess this next random thought of the week...I kind of like country music lately. There is a song by Blake Shelton (not even like pop country...we're talking COUNTRY country.....CRAZY!) called God Gave Me You....oh my gosh, I love that song. Its already made it on the top 25 in my itunes...in fact it is currently #3 after All We Are by Matt Nathanson (which will remain #1 for forever if I have any say in it!) and There There Katie by Jack's Mannequin. OH, PS: I am going to see Jack's Mannequin LIVE in October! I'm SUPER DUPER excited for that one! Me, Fort, and my brother are all going. Its going to be sooo much fun! But yeah, Soozee and country music, who knew?!?!?! Right!?!?!?!
    I'm just going to apologize now and let you all know that if I don't blog very much in the next little while it is only because I'll be a hermit in school. But, I love you all and will update, or have Emmalee update as often as possible, k!?!?!?!

Oh hello again

Sorry its been so long since I last posted! I have been crazy busy! I found out that I got all Bs in my classes!!! Some people may be a little disappointed in all Bs...I am not one of them. I rejoiced thoroughly! Just ask my sister in law, and my sister. They both got calls to share in my rejoicing!
    The next three weekends are going to be busy for me because I have a birthday cake each of the next three weekends. This weekend is Digger's birthday. He turns the big 3-0. He's an old man, I know. But very attractive for his age. Any way, I told him back in January I'd make his birthday cake if he wanted me to and so I am. I am making my delicious chocolate covered strawberry goodness cake. For a reminder of which one that is, you can look at it here. Yeah, its going to be amazing, except this time its all me, Emily moved away and its up to me to re create this amazing cake...but I'm pretty sure I can do it. And, it will turn out amazingly.
     Next up in the cakes will be an Incredible Hulk cake...I'm still deciding what I want to do with that one, and then the third cake is either going to be X-Men or Captain America themed. yeah, I have my work cut out of me. But, I'm still excited for them!! YAY!!!
     In other news, I am listening to a ridiculously large amount of Maroon 5 these days. I LOVE LOVE LOVE their new CD Hands All Over. Yes, the title is kind of....um...interesting? But the CD is AMAZING. I LOVE it. Also, I read the book Beastly on Friday. Yeah, I read the whole book that afternoon. Really quick read, and it was a pretty good story. I kind of want to see the movie now.
     Speaking of movies, I went and saw Fast Five last weekend with my brother and BFF Fort. It was really good, if you like the Fast and the Furious movies. This one had more plot, I felt, and was really good.
     Any way, there is your update on my life. I made Lemon Tarts yesterday because I now have church at 8:30AM in Provo. I get home around noon and have the entire day to do whatever I want!!! It has truly become a day of rest and I love it!! HOORAY!!!

Still alive...I think....

So, I am pretty sure I am still alive. I am not currently failing my Propaganda class, which is a shocker. I thought for sure I wasn't doing super well, but I actually did pretty awesome on my midterm. Heck yes. I had to turn in this massively huge paper, and that could have killed my grade. I'm hoping not though. We shall see. All I have to say is that I can not wait for this semester to be OVER. Oh my gosh, I have never been so stressed out in all of my life! School, plus all the work drama...I really want the work drama to end, but I don't think it will end until I don't work there anymore, and that will be the only way to get rid of it.
     Things are going well other than stress and drama. I don't have much of an update on anything yet, but I promise once I do, I will let you know. I am going to try and work on my book a little bit this weekend, but I don't know if I'll have time...this summer can't come fast enough!!!