Sometimes Knights in Shining Armor are Mountain Climbers in Jeeps

It's been a while, I know. That's my bad. That's all on me. I've been busy. I've also had writer's block. And before you give me a million things I could have done to get over writer's block, I should probably explain that it wasn't a lack of story or desire that blocked me, but realizing I actually had some really serious personal issues to work through before I could wholeheartedly write. That's why I was blocked. And no amount of writing or forcing of anything was going to break through the personal struggles I am still dealing with.

But, this is not why I'm writing today. I've had a lot on my mind the last 24 hours and writing is one of the ways I express my emotions best. A friend of mine is missing. He went to climb a mountain on Wednesday night and hasn't been seen or heard from since. Granted, I haven't talked to him in about two-ish years, but let me tell you why I've been thinking about Derrik the last few days.

Derrik is an amazing person. I met him when I was in college and he was friends with one of my roommates. We lived on the third floor and he would climb up to our balcony to come for a visit. As a reward, we'd give him an otter pop. But that's not why I appreciated Derrik. One Sunday night I was baking, which I did often, and he stopped by to see my roommate who wasn't home. I was listening to a movie in the living room very loudly and the buzzer in the kitchen went off just as he knocked on the door. I opened it in passing and hollered to come in as I walked back to the kitchen to pull out a fresh batch of rolls. He walked in and asked if my roommate was home and when I told him she wasn't and offered him a roll, he sat down at our table and we talked for about an hour. Because that's who Derrik was. He was a friend to everyone and loved talking to people.

After that first encounter, he would often leave notes saying hi or bye if I wasn't around when he came by. It always made my day brighter when he stopped by. And I appreciated the times he did stop by and we chatted for a few minutes. More than once he stopped by on particularly hard days when I just needed a friend. I know that he was the answer to several prayers through a particularly rough few months.

All of this led up to my favorite memory of Derrik, though. I went to a church meeting that I was not looking forward to. It was a huge meeting for thousands of young single adult members of my church. I had seriously considered just skipping it. No one would have known I didn't go. But I felt like I should and the twenty-minute drive there was spent praying that I wouldn't have to go or that I wouldn't have to be alone.

I kept telling myself that if I couldn't easily find parking, I wouldn't stay, but then I found a perfect spot. Then I told myself that if I had to walk in alone, I would just leave, but as I said that a jeep pulled in next to my car and Derrik popped out and asked if he could walk with me. Once in the building, we parted ways and I walked into the auditorium filled as far as I could see with people. And not a single easily accessible seat. I am six feet tall and for whatever reason, I wore 3-inch heels that day. Everywhere I looked I just saw people staring at me like an idiot and I couldn't do it. So I turned around to leave and as I got out to the hallway leading to the outside doors, I ran into Derrik. He smiled at me and told me I was going to come sit with him. I really hoped he didn't see the tears that slipped from my eyes that day. I wasn't crying because for a moment I had never felt more alone. I was crying because once again Derrik had shown up just at the right time and was the exact person I needed.

And so, for all of these reasons and so many more, my heart breaks tonight for his family and his friends. This will be the third night in freezing cold weather completely alone and I wish with all of my heart that I could be the friend he needs right now. That I could be the one to help him for once. But all I can do is pray to a loving God to watch over my friend and if Derrik's life has come to an end, I pray that God will bless him for the amazing person he is. I know that my life has been blessed by knowing him and I will always be grateful for the kindness he has always shown me.

A Moment of Reflection

Life sucks. Sometimes. Not all the time. And sometimes November hits you in the face so many times that you're sitting in your room at 1:30 AM looking at the calendar knowing that before you know it, it'll be November 1st and you'll be facing another November. That's me. Right now. Guys, it's almost November.

I'm so sick of social media. If I didn't use social media to promote my own writing, I'd turn it all off and not look at it ever again. Or not until after this election business is over.

Guys, I feel like I have a billion things to say, but every time I try to write them out, I hate the way that I'm saying something and erase the whole thing.

I found out that my favorite Spanish teacher from high school passed away yesterday. It was very sad because he was an amazing teacher. I still remember his class and all that I learned there. Teachers like that don't come around very often. I'm so glad I was able to learn from him. His impact is far reaching. I don't think he could have possibly known how much we all loved him. I hope his family can find comfort in knowing how great he was and how beloved he was of his students.

I wanted to give you guys an excerpt of something I'm working on because I feel like the last few posts have been a bit more me focused and less on my writing, so here you go, an excerpt from the last edit of LIGHTS. It's part of what I gave you last time with a little bit MORE bwa ha ha:

The morning air is crisp as I walk down the familiar streets. It's been years since I've actually looked around. The buildings all reaching high above, argent and black as far as the eye can see. The gray of the buildings almost washes out all colors around me. Reds seem faded, blues turn to gray, green to almost nothing. The yellow sign above the coffee shop door stands out. Perhaps it's the florescent lights indicating that the coffee is hot.

The employees are surprisingly lackluster. I walk in and look at the people. It's a sea of obsidian jackets to compliment their ivory blouses and button up shirts under charcoal blazers all around until someone catches my eye. He is wearing a button up shirt rolled up to his fore arm. A pearl white shirt with a cobalt pinstripe. Despite his relaxed expression, he still looks precise and sharp. Even his rolled up sleeves seem to be rolled to a precise measurement so as to not be too casual or too business like. He seems brighter than everyone else in the little shop. Or even the city. If that's even possible. Like he almost has a glow to him that no one else does. The pages on his book seem almost vibrant. He doesn't look up when I enter but continues reading while the rest of the world ignores him. He has an undefined preoccupation with his watch.

He is oblivious to the world, and yet I feel like he is watching more closely than the rest of us. He checks his watch, looks up briefly before returning to his book. How can he read?

I admit, my fascination is probably bordering on creepy, probably. No one else seems to notice him. It's almost like they can't see him. This morning is no exception. No one sees him, no one talks to him, it's like he's not even here. There is nothing threatening about him. Perhaps that is why no one notices. I thought about asking one of the workers if they know anything about him, but they seem even less personable than usual today. A little thought keeps pestering me to go talk to him. After all, I have time today. It's not even eight in the morning.

“Emma!” Bobby's voice booms around me and my cup comes flying across the counter. He doesn't even look as he throws my cup. I've become a coffee catching ninja as I skillfully snatch it without a drop getting on my scrubs. I check my phone again. 7:52. I walk over to the counter with napkins and grab a couple. I turn to leave and nearly run into the guy I can't stop staring at. He waits for me to notice I'm staring and I laugh awkwardly.

“Sorry about that.” I say and slip past him and head for the door. I feel the deep red of a very embarrassing blush crosses my cheeks. He smiles at me as I leave and in that last glance I notice how fiercely green his eyes are.

I walk quickly down the sidewalk when my phone rings. I glance down to see Marques, my coworker, calling me.

“Hey friend, what's up?” I ask him, surprised that he's beat me to work. I'm usually the first one there.

“Emma. Calahan is here to observe you. Where are you?” He asks in response.

“I'm headed in, I just stopped to get some coffee. I won't be late, promise.” I say.

“You're already 25 minutes late.” He states. There's no way that's possible. I left my house less than ten minutes ago. How can I be late at all? I look at my watch as the faceplate on my watch glaringly switches from 9:25 to 9:26.  

And now, I will be editing and writing some things. And watching the newest episode of Designated Survivor because I missed it when it aired because it was Hugh Jackman's birthday today and I was busy. You can check all that out HERE.