If you read this, I'm really okay, I promise.

So, I've been thinking about life again. I should be writing papers right now, or going to the church to set up for FHE, but here I am, thinking about life and about all of you lovely people that still read this blog, or that have just started (hello, new people!!!). I am a very unique individual. I don't use "unique" as code for weird, nerdy, strange, crazy, or insane; although some and/or all of them may apply on any given day. I say that I am unique because there really isn't another one like me. I am my own person. I have amazing talents and gifts that other people don't. I made 150 cupcakes between Friday and Saturday. They looked AMAZING. and I'm not just saying that for a pat on the back, they were beautiful. And I did them. All by myself. I made the cupcakes. I made the frosting. I made the Andes mint fudge. I didn't smash the Oreos because Ale asked to, but beyond that, they were mine. All mine. This may also sound a little self absorbed, but sometimes I don't want people to help me because I want all the credit. I don't like sharing. maybe because I usually have a vision of what I want and I feel that if other people get involved I'll lose my sight and then I have to tell people that other people helped me, and with this project, I wanted it all. I still ended up having to share the credit, but that's okay. Because I know that I did it all. They were mine. All mine. And I am so proud of myself for accomplishing my goal despite really unfortunate set backs.
    I am also unique (and this is really where I was going with this...just had to vent about the cupcakes) because I am 28 years old, and I am still very single. So many of my friends are married with 1 or 2 kids and their lives and stresses and worries are completely different than mine. I love my life. I absolutely love it. I was talking to my sister in law the other day and we were talking about how the grass is always greener on the other side, which is so true. I look at my friends that are married and think "do you realize how lucky you are? Do you see how amazing your life is? Do you know what I would give to have what you have? You're so lucky!!!!" Each day of our lives presents itself with challenges, and I understand that. And now that I've shared my secret envy of my friends, I will share with you another little secret. I'm also really okay with my life. Have I said that enough in this post? I'm totally okay with my life right now. I'm taking steps forward and putting plans into action (except for the writing my papers right now thing....I really need to work on that one). I have come to terms with, and accepted, that it is a possibility I might not get married in this life. Now, before you call me and tell me how I'm going to find someone and that I'm giving up to soon (because I've found that is a response I get quite regularly when people ask if I'm dating someone and I tell them I'm not looking). This does not mean that I don't want to get married, I do-believe me, I do!!! This also doesn't mean that I've given up on looking for Dean. This just means that if the opportunity never presents itself, I will be okay. I have plans for my life and they are AMAZING plans!!! I can't be best friends with Adam Levine and Matt Smith if I'm married with kids. That would be awkward. If I was single, I could do all the crazy things I dream about sometimes. I could publish some books, open a bakery, and then go travel through Europe. Get lost in Ireland. Randomly end up in Cardiff where they film Doctor Who. If I'm going to dream, I might  as well dream big, you know? So, that's what I'm doing. And then, when I do happen to meed Dean Carmichael (whether in this life, or the next) I will know that everything he and I have been through will have made us stronger and better for each other. I will fully understand why I was asked to travel this path alone for as long as I will be asked to. That day will be a glorious one, and I can't wait to meet him. And I know that patience is a virtue, and one that I feel I have learned a lot of. But I actually really love it. patience is still a hard thing for me, but knowing that the longer I wait *patiently*, the greater blessings I can receive.
     I do love my life. And I expect great things from myself. I know that I can do hard things. I know that I can accomplish great things, and I know that my Heavenly Father has tried to help me see all that He has in store for me for a while now. I finally figured out how to listen. And it's a beautiful future, no matter what happens. I hope we can all find that joy in the journey. I hope we can all find the peace that the gospel brings. If you don't have that peace, I hope you can find it. There is nothing that compares.

Hello Fall, I'm glad we're friends.

It's fall time. I love fall time. It starts cooling down and the leaves start changing. Its this time of year that I really really miss North Carolina. The trees there are everywhere and I absolutely loved it when they fell all over the ground and made everything a little more colorful. A-MAZING.
    School started and I along with it. I'm taking some English classes (surprise surprise) and at the beginning of the semester I had this feeling just couldn't shake. Its hard to explain unless you've felt it, but I have only ever felt it one of time in my life, and that was the day I knew my mission call was waiting at home while I was not at home. Its the craziest feeling EVER. You may be wondering why exactly I was feeling this feeling again. I'm not going on another mission. I'm not really anticipating any huge new development in life, and yet the feeling would not leave me. It stuck around like the smell of cupcakes you are making for someone else. its actually kind of horrible in a non horrible way. Like I said, I can't really explain it. I still don't know what it was all for, but I'm back to my routine of work/school/social life/sleep....be jealous.
    I hung out with Liam last week, just he and I, which has never really happened. It was crazy/fun. He's such a cool guy. I'm really glad we are friends.
    I met a new guy at church on Sunday. Lets call him new guy, or NG. He's not from around here, and he's not like super duper attractive. He's actually kind of average looking, and yet, I am drawn to him. I met him Sunday and have hung out with him everyday since then. Yesterday we talked for about an hour. He's a really cool guy and I am really excited to get to know him better. watch for details, if ever there are any. :)
    The Voice started on Monday. I love The Voice. Mostly because I LOVE Adam Levine. We're going to be BFFs one day. AND, that's just not me talking either, all of my friends think it will happen too. So, someday, somehow I am going to be best friends with Adam Levine and its going to be so cool. And then he'll write a song for my book turned into a movie. That's going to be a great day. And all of you can say to yourself and all of your friends "I remember when I thought she was crazy writing on her blog about being friends with Adam Levine, but look, it actually happened. And then you'll text me and want to meet him. I know how these things go. And the answer is, we'll see what happens. Ha ha ha. you guys are great.
    I went out to my car last night after class and someone wrote on my driver's side window. It was awesome. I felt super special and loved.

    Okay, I think I should go. My class starts soon and I should probably pay attention. Have fun!!!

Thank You Netflix

I was on Netflix the other day looking for something new to watch and they suggested this show and they thought I might give it 4 stars. So, I figured why not give it a chance...here's a quick look at the show:



I watched the one and only season in about 24 hours. Between that and Maroon 5's Overexposed album I have been dead to the world, but living it up in my own happy place!


After watching the first few episodes of Accidentally on Purpose, I decided that the main guy, Jon Foster, is super attractive. Which is funny because he has lighter colored hair and I am usually a dark hair, light colored eyes type of girl. But, he has lighter hair and brown eyes. Crazy. AND, he has scruff/a beard for most of the show which I realized I actually kind of like...well, it was pointed out to me that I like guys with facial hair.
And, I realize that tattoos are not generally the best idea and I don't normally think they look good on people, but I really like his tattoos on the show. He has three stars on this right arm as I circled in the picture. Sorry if anyone takes offense that he has no shirt on. Scandalous, I know. I'm a horrible sinner. Me and some of my friends are always rating actors and actresses on a scale from 1 to 10. I have two 10s. A realistic 10, and an unrealistic 10. The realistic 10 used to be Josh Dallas hands down, he's Prince Charming from Once Upon A Time, but I think that Jon Foster is either tied, or slightly ahead of Josh Dallas. But, give it a week and everything could change...not that any of this actually matters, I realize its all very trivial. BUT, I'm young and single and have all this "free time", so what else am I going to be doing? ha ha ha...jk.

So, going back to beginning, the other obsession I mentioned was Maroon 5's new album Overexposed. I have always liked the band since Fort introduced me to them freshman year at USU. I fell in love with the clean version of their song "Payphone" even though its really sad and about a broken relationship because if you have nothing but a payphone, clearly you've lost EVERYTHING. Any way, I got the clean version of the CD and fell absolutely in love with it!!!!! Here is a music video that I feel really covers the theme of the whole album:



and I feel that the theme is that women will rip your heart out and leave you with nothing. Poor Adam Levine, clearly he's struggling with his breakup with his Russian Victoria Secret model. I really like that you can feel/hear an emotion in the songs though. A lot of times its all the same and I like it when artists mix it up a little bit.

Any way, this was an incredibly trivial post. I hope you liked it. Probably think I'm crazy, but its all good. You can call me crazy all you want, that doesn't make it true....most of the time. :)