This is What Happens When You Graduate College

'''''I have been binge watching shows. I have been writing like a mad woman. I haven't left my room in days, other than to go to my job. I curled my hair the other day just to do something different. This is the life of a college graduate. I applied for jobs in New York, Chicago, Miami, Fort Collins and Salt Lake City. I don't actually think I'll get the one in New York, Chicago or Miami, but you never know unless you try, right? Those three are all writing jobs with magazines for entertainment and music stuff. Which would be fun. I would love it. But my real goal is screenwriting. Doesn't it just sound pretty? Screen-writing. scree-n-writing. scree-nwriting. Any way you say it, it sounds fun. And exciting.

I am an 80 year old woman. I think I've hit spinsterhood. Because when I watch movies and stuff, I totally embroider and do hand stitching and stuff. All I need is a few cats and I'm set for all eternity. But not really because I actually just really enjoy needlework. It's becoming a lost art.

I also rewatched some of The Lizzie Bennett Diaries. Have you guys watched them? There's 100 episodes on YouTube, they are 5-6 minutes a piece. Here's the first on just in case you haven't seen them:


I feel like this is now the story of my life, except my mom is not crazy. Nor is she trying to marry me off to some rich dude. But, I am a college graduate that is not married. And I live in Utah. People tend to worry about my chances of ever getting married. Because I'm single. And 30. SCARY. I think people worry that I'm not worried about it. But, it'll happen exactly as it's supposed to.

Um. I wrote something. It's probably awful, but I thought I'd share it any way. Here you go.

It's not that I couldn't tell him what I was thinking, it's more that I didn't want him to over think what I was already over thinking and thus perpetuate the cycle further. So, instead, I watched him walk away. The love of my life. My best friend. The only one that really understood me. I just stood there and watched. I didn't move an inch. In the rain. I left my jacket in the house. I hadn't expected him to just come in like that. And when he talked to me, I couldn't think clearly. I was so distracted by the sound of his voice that I couldn't hear his words. The fire in his eyes was so fierce I saw nothing else. He was upset, I think. And then he left as abruptly as he came. I ran after him. I needed to know what he said.

“Wait!” He stopped at the sound of my voice and turned around.

“I'm tired of waiting. All this time you knew and you never did or said anything.” His words were truth and I heard them now. A stabbing guilty pain settled in my stomach. I knew it wasn't going away anytime soon. He was right. I had known for months that he loved me and I avoided him because of it. Foolishly avoided him thinking it was for the best.

“It's better this way.” I said. Stupid stupid girl that I was. He walked over to me, grabbed my face and kissed me so fiercely that I think I stopped breathing. I had never kissed anyone before, but somehow my lips knew just what to do. My hands found their way to his side and I held close to him.

When he pulled away, he looked at me. Rain dripping down his face and off his eyelashes. He was looking at me different, now. And not in a good way.

“You're right.” He said and let go of my face. As he turned to walk away, I wanted to call out, but couldn't. Instead, I just watched him walk away. And he didn't turn back. He never turned back. And I stood there. Alone. In the rain. Unsure of what to do next. Knowing we'd never be the same.

And then, here's another snippet from a different (maybe) story. It's going to be a series that is pretty much written like a sitcom. Each chapter is an episode and each book is a season, if that makes sense. My goal is to publish it and then actually make it into a TV show. That would be awesome. Any way, here's another snippet for you:

The walls of apartment 314 were old. They were white-ish with many small holes from push pins and nails being shoved through them. If the walls could talk, they would tell you about the many pictures and frames that were placed upon them to invite people into the room. If the floors could talk, they would tell you about 2 a.m. Dance parties and stolen kisses from new found love. If the ceiling could talk, it would tell you about the slumber parties in the living room and Chopped marathons. If you could watch time pass, you'd see lives grow and change. You'd see girls become woman. You would find sisterhood.

Fall semester was supposed to start like any other. It was a new school year and a new group of girls were moving in. None of them knew each other, which was a first for this apartment. It hadn't been bare for many years and the landlord finally had a chance to update the apartment. A fresh coat of paint on the walls and new carpet and furniture were brought in just in time for the unsuspecting tenants to move in just before school started. Isabella was the first. She seemed very quiet and reserved as she unlocked the door and pushed open the brown door that still had tape stuck to it from flyers that had long since been taken down. She glanced around and took a deep breath in. Smelling the new paint she smiled a little to herself.

“I was right, they did redo this one before I moved in.” She said to an unseen friend behind her. As she enters, so does the friend. He is tall and almost has to duck to enter the doorway. He looks around, unimpressed and sets the three boxes he is carrying down in front of him. Isabella walks through the living room to the balcony that overlooks the parking lot. She opens the door and steps outside.

“You can see everything from here. I love it. I love this place. Come look, Jace!” Jason still seems unimpressed as he walks slowly over to the balcony and steps outside looking across the parking lot with her.

“Nice. It's great. You'll have so much fun here.” He speaks in almost a monotone. Isabella hits his arm with a playful expression.

“Come on, you'll love visiting me here!” she replies. She walks back inside and looks around the kitchen. It is completely empty and she smiles to herself as she opens cupboards and then closes them again. As she works her way down the row of cupboards, she notices the hallway leading to the rooms standing open. Light pours in from the three rooms into the hallway and she walks quickly towards them.

Um. I think that's all I have to say right now. It's late and I have no excuse for still being awake. I have no homework. I was applying for jobs, so I guess that's my excuse. With North and South playing in the background. Have you guys seen that mini series? Best four hours of your life. Then you, too, can fall in love with Richard Crispin Armitage. I know I sure did. And still am. He's replaced Tom Hiddleston in my life. No one thought that would happen, but it did. And now, I am going to sleep. Peace.

SUMMERTIME!!!!!!!!! (this is kind of long, but you'd kill me if I shortened it, I promise!)

So, I'm just going to throw a bunch of info at you and you're going to work through it and have fun with it, k? K. So, I moved!!!! YAY!!!!! I moved to the great city Northward. Okay, not the GREAT city, I just moved to Provo-ish area. Student housing. AWESOME! I have great room mates and I live 5 minutes from work (woot woot!!). It's a lot of fun. Pictures to come shortly.

     Now for the part you've all been waiting for. I met a boy. DON'T FREAK OUT. NOTHING HAS HAPPENED YET. And, I'm not counting on anything happening. I think he'll be a good friend. And that's all that I'm hoping for. Even if he could potentially be the man of my dreams. Because, seriously, he could be. But I don't know if he is or not. So, here's the run down on him. I went to a party at Liam's house. I didn't really think much of it because his parties are huge and I was really only there because he's one of my best friends and I didn't want him to know that I don't absolutely love his parties. Because they're fun, but there's SO MANY people there. So many. And I don't do well with crowds of people. Any way, I wen to the party and Liam had mentioned earlier that he was having a DJ come and it was going to be SUPER AWESOME. This did not help my wanting to go because that meant dancing, and I don't dance. It's not that I can't dance, its that I don't. 

     So, the night of the party comes around and I made cupcakes for it, because I always make treats for Liam's parties, because you never know who might be there. I showed up at the party and one of my friends was leaving with her boyfriend that I don't approve of (not that my opinion matters), and Liam was happy to see me, as always, and Ale was there, and a ton of other people from the ward. I was talking to people when Liam is like "Hey look, my friend is here!" and at that moment, this guy walks back with his speakers and DJ type stuff. I didn't think much of him, and then he turned around. I didn't get a good look at his face, but when I saw him-like actually saw him there-my initial thought was 'hmmm, maybe you should talk to him'. But I ignored it for a while.

     And then I found a moment to talk to him. I don't have a nickname for him yet, maybe we'll just call him DJ because he was the DJ, yeah, that works. SO, DJ is a writer. We talked writing for a while, and he didn't think my ideas for stories were crazy, which was awesome. He has a bachelor's degree in English, and is going to law school now. He works at the temple with Liam, another awesome thing about him. And he is kind of cute. And he inspired me. In the 10 minutes we talked he was asking me about Changing Tyde and was like "so it's kind of like a fairy tale" and it hit me like a brick wall that Changing Tyde very much is like a fairy tale. I love it! New life for a story I've been stuck on for forever! YAY!!! And he was telling me about some of the stories he's been working on, and they sound really cool. 

     Then, the party continued on, and I didn't really get the chance to talk to DJ again, but it was fun. AND THEN, Ale did a not very nice thing. She tricked me and I ended up dancing with this guy that I really don't get along with. It was creepy, and weird. AND, Ale recorded it on her phone. and won't delete it. AND, NO, you can't see it. 

    So, a few of my friends were like "you should ask for DJ's number!!!" and I was like "no." and they kept trying to convince me to do it, but I didn't and when I left DJ noticed and said "oh, are you leaving?" (mind you, it's about 1 AM at this point) and I tell him yes, and he says something like "Well it was really great to meet you." And there's a weird lingering high five and then I walked away. And my thought was 'if I'm supposed to see him again, it'll happen...somehow'. And that is the end of the story......

Here: watch this video! It's kind of funny!!!

And this one too!!!

okay, alright, I'll tell you more of the story, because of course it doesn't end there!! :) 

So, there I was, all alone and moved in to my new place. I went to church and met some nice people. They are all a bit younger than me, but that's okay, I'm used to it. Most single people are younger than me these days. I talked to Ale about DJ and she had mentioned that lots of people thought the DJ and I were a match made in heaven and, apparently, one of my friends didn't go talk/flirt with him because she thought that he was perfect for me. OH, and my room mate kept text Liam asking when he was going to stop by with DJ. It was all a bit much. He didn't ask for my number, I didn't ask for his, there was no indication (that I am aware of) that DJ was at all interested in seeing me again, or even remembering that he met me. 

That Friday night I ended up hanging out with Liam and explained that I thought DJ was cute, and he seems like an incredible guy, but taht I was not expecting Liam to set me up with him or anything. I really just wanted to get to know DJ better and become friends because we are both writers, and i could use some writer friends these days. Liam agreed and said that he wanted DJ and I to get to know each other better especially because we are both such awesome people (his words, not mine, though I'm not disagreeing). 

Jump forward to the next Friday morning. I get a text from Liam asking what I am doing on Saturday night. I tell him that I'm not doing anything, to which he informs me that I am going to a party at DJ's apartment with him. I tell him okay and that is that. 

Come Saturday, I am a little bit nervous and slightly anxious, mostly because I'm afraid that DJ is going to be like "who is this weird girl with Liam?" But he wasn't like that at all. And I looked cute. Like Tango approved outfit and hair cute. And when we walked in DJ was like "Hey! It's my friend Liam!!!" and I thought he had forgotten me, but no! "And hey! It's Soozee too! Awesome! Glad you could make it!" I may have smiled kind of a lot. He remembered who I was. Props to him. And the party was fun. We watched Emperor's New Groove and it was fun.

K, so you know when you meet someone and you think they're cute, but it's also kind of dark when you meet them, and then you don't see them for a few weeks and then you see them and they're not as cute as you remembered them being? yeah, I was worried about that happening, but it totally didn't. DJ was actually cuter than I remembered. And, he's a hug-er. He gives hugs. I don't know why I am always becoming friends with guys that love to hug, not that I mind. I mean, I know I have that whole "don't like to be touched" thing, but that's really for people that I don't know or don't like. If I think you're cute, then I don't mind if you hug me. I digress, moving on. DJ is cute. And his movie night was fun. And, when we were talking to him after I found myself asking if he wanted to come to a pizza night at my apartment the next week. And he said yes. And then asked if I had his number so I could text him the details. I told him I didn't, so he asked if I had a phone and I gave it to him and he put his number in my phone. It was pretty great. And as we walked away, Liam also seemed happy about how things had progressed with DJ. 

Lets move forward to Wednesday night. Liam was there, and Ale, and DJ was super late. BUT, he came. And I think he gets a little bit cuter every time I see him. I had made chicken alfredo pizza and mini chocolate tarts. Neither of which lasted very long. DJ agreed that I make amazing pizza, which I was actually worried about because we had previously had a discussion about amazing pizza and he said that the pizza in Italy (where he served his mission) was the best he'd ever had. So, when he said my pizza was amazing, I was really happy. And then someone suggested that we go see the new Star Trek movie. I said I didn't really have the money to go, but DJ (without skipping a beat) offered to pay for me, and we all went. Ale, and one of my room mates that came said that they felt like DJ and I were on a date and they just happened to be there too. I didn't really get that vibe, but it was fun. I was able to talk to DJ for a minute. He grew up in northern Utah, his favorite color of all time is green, and his favorite cookie is Snickerdoodles. I mentioned that I happen to make really great Snickerdoodles, which he said he did not doubt because I am an amazing cook. TA-DA! I'm amazing. So, the movie was good. My flip flop flipped off my foot and landed behind the seat in front of me shortly after the movie started which sucked, but had no bearing on the quality of the movie. I like Benedict Cumberbatch who plays Kahn, so that was awesome. I thought the story was well developed and the actors did a good job. Also, the one liners were pretty great. All in all, if you liked the first one, you'll probably like the second one as well. 

So, I didn't think I'd get to talk to DJ again. We had tennative plans for later that week that moved to next week, and new I'm not exactly sure when we're going to get together again, but it's all good. 

And then last night happened. I met up with Ale and my friend who has the boyfriend I don't approve of and it was alright. To be honest, I had more fun when it was just me and Ale talking. And hopefully said friend with boyfriend doesn't read my blog. If she does, then we will be having a conversation soon about how I really feel and how I hide my true feelings. I'm a horrible person,  I know. Any way, I had asked Liam what he was doing in case he wanted to come hang out with us. he didn't get back to me until he was off work which, by that point, everyone had gone home. So, I asked if he was doing anything because I didn't feel like going home yet. He mentioned he was at DJ's apartment and that I should come by. So, I did. 

Did you know that DJ plays the violin? He plays quite well, in fact. And the guitar. And he can sing. AND, he's smart. And, he gets cuter every time I see him. AND, I kind of asked what he was doing this weekend and if he doesn't end up going to Montana, we're probably going to do something at some point. 

BUT, I don't expect things to go anywhere with DJ. I think he's adorable, but, now that I've posted this here, I've jinxed myself and it will all fall to apart. Which, lets be honest, it would have done all on its own. Not that I don't want anything to happen, I'm just trying to be realistic and not get my hopes up. Because the odds of him wanting to date me are not usually in my favor. And don't get upset with me. I know I'm a wonderfully fantastic person, and there should be a line at my door if guys actually saw how amazing I am. But they don't always see it, and that really is okay. A line at my door would be terribly inconvenient for everyone. And then I'd feel obligated to be nice to them, and cook for them, since they are waiting at my door and all, and it just wouldn't be fun. SO, I'm happy with where I am, and more importantly with WHO I am. DJ is a friend, and I love being friends with him. It's so much fun. He's such a nice guy. And I love that I get to know him a little bit better every time we hang out. It's fantastic! And this post is REALLY long and if you're still here CONGRATS!!!! I should make you cookies or something! How about Snickerdoodles?? ha ha ha!!!

     

I am the writer.

I have a teacher this semester that requests a response to each of the authors we study. She keeps telling us that we are the writers, so whatever we write is our response. We are the writers. We are the writers. I am the writer. I decided to test the limits with my Emily Dickinson response because I couldn't think of anything academic to say, I just kept seeing Emily and Ian and part of their story running through my head, so I decided to run with it! And here you go:

Soozee Carmichael

Emily Dickinson Response

February 9, 2013

As I read Emily Dickinson this time through, I kept having this story play through my mind as I read her words. I am not a poet at all, but I am a writer and I felt that I could best express my impression of Emily Dickinson's poetry through a story of my own. This is just an excerpt of what I saw in my mind, and much like her poetry, you will see only a tiny glimpse of a much broader idea. I feel that this story best captures my feelings of the poetry we read because it's a story that focuses on a ballerina named Emma who thinks that everything around her is real, but in reality everything she is seeing is false and the dream that she keeps having is real. She is actually married to the man in her dreams, but she has been taken and made to think that he never existed, thus making him just a dream to her. So she keeps seeing him in her mind and knowing that he is significant, but she has no way of knowing exactly how to get to him, or that he is real. I feel that there is a sense of longing and hopefulness in the midst of these poems that kind of remind me of what Emma is feeling. In some ways, I think Emma understands Emily Dickinson far better than I could. This story reminds me of Ms. Dickinson's poems specifically about eternity, nature and beauty. Not that the other poems we read don't apply, there are just several that really led me to write the excerpt below.

More Than Just A Dream

Sometimes I dream about him. And then I wake up alone and I reach out in between my dream and reality as if reaching for him will bring him closer to me. The dream is always the same. It starts out so happy and peaceful. We're having a picnic in this beautiful meadow with silver trees. The trees aren't entirely silver, they have veins of silver running through them. They're magical. And so is he. His messy perfect hair, his gorgeous eyes, and the way he looks at me and makes me feel so loved. We are there laughing when the sky suddenly goes dark and a shadow passes over his face. He get up and he takes my hand. Its all very quick as he tries to get to safety, wherever that is.

Someone is following us. Stalking us. He keeps a firm grip on my hand and keeps looking back to make sure I'm still there. “Don't let go!” he keeps shouting as we run down a steep hill covered in jagged rocks. He looks at me, and then at his watch. He looks at me again and is saying something, but I can't understand him. Whatever is following us is getting closer. I can't see the creature-whatever it is, but I can tell it's getting close. I can feel it.

And then he's gone. My love has vanished and my hand falls to my side as I start to slow. I don't know where I'm going. And then everything goes dark and I wake up. I can't remember his name, and as soon as I wake up the details of his face start to fade. It's like there's something that doesn't want me to remember him. Whoever he is, he left me there, though. Alone. To face the darkness. But I still reach for him. And I realize that my twin bed wouldn't fit anyone but me any way. My hand reaches out for the love that isn't there and finds cold air of the frigid January morning in New York.

I get up and walk to the window, as if looking out will bring him closer to me. Absentmindedly, I play with the ring on my left hand. It doesn't mean anything to me, but I wear it any way. It catches every glimmer of light that is around. I twirl it around my finger over and over again without realizing I'm doing it. It's become a habit. I almost feel like it's supposed to remind me of something, but I can't think of what. And then I remember the man in my dreams. I don't know who he was, but it is as if our souls were attached, and we can't live without each other. But dreams are all that I have. I don't know what else to do, I know he doesn't exist. That much is never spoken, but understood in my mind.

My bookshelf stood beside my window. An old black book caught my eye, I picked it up. It was the complete works of Emily Dickinson. I had always loved her poetry. The way that they stood out from the ordinary and brought a darker shadow to the ordinary. I somehow felt that she understood my life and the craziness that I felt each day as I awoke from the same dream; as if my reality was just out of reach. I opened the pages and read the first poem I came to:

13

Sleep is supposed to be

By souls of sanity

The shutting of the eye.

Sleep is the station grand

Down which, on either hand

The hosts of witness stand!

Morn is supposed to be

By people of degree

The breaking of the Day.

Morning has not occurred!

That shall Aurora be —

East of Eternity —

One with the banner gay —

One in the red array —

That is the break of Day!

“Emma?” I hear my name from behind me. I turn and see Nikki standing in my doorway. Our apartment is small, and I'm sure she heard me in my sleep again.

“Sorry, was I talking in my sleep again?” This was becoming a nightly occurrence.

“No, but I heard you get up and wanted to make sure you were alright. How did you sleep? Did you have the dream again?” Nikki looked concerned, again. She had been my best friend for as long as I could remember. She knew everything about me.

“Yeah, I did. It's always the same. The same guy, the same place, the same darkness chasing us. I wish I knew what it meant.” I closed the book that spoke directly to my soul, putting all of my thoughts, doubts and fears onto paper. As I placed it back on the shelf I turned to Nikki,

“Maybe it's better if you don't.” I turned back to the window and watched the people rushing through the rain below us. I didn't want to ignore these dreams. They meant something. I just didn't know what.

“He's not real, Em. There's no one that could be that perfect. And, I don't know of anywhere that has silver trees. So, it's all in your fantastic imagination. Now lets go, we have rehearsal in like 35 minutes and I'm pretty sure that it's going to be a really long rehearsal since we've only got three days until the show opens. Too bad not everyone has their part down like you do.” It was true, ballet had come naturally to me. I was the prima ballerina in the New York City Ballet. You don't just wake up in that position. It takes a lot of hard work and dedication. I had given up everything to achieve this dream. Nothing was going to stand in my way.

I got ready quickly and we rushed over to the studio. We were the last ones there. We joined in with everyone else warming up and before I knew it, we were in the midst of running through the entire performance. Something odd had been going on, and I couldn't quite figure out how to explain it. My dance partner's name was David, and although he was incredibly talented, I felt like I had never danced with him before in my life. He was more rigid than necessary and we didn't exactly flow well together. There was something off about the way we danced. I also kept calling him Marques, which was odd. There were so many unexplained oddities in my life. I felt like I was living in a dream and that nothing was real. But how can reality not be real? How can everything I see in front of me and feel and do and touch be false?  

This is the story of a boy

Once upon a time, and several years ago, I was a young freshman at Utah State University. It was my first adventure out on my own. I met many new people and gained great new friends. I took a Chemistry class at 7AM that I hardly went to, though if I knew then what I knew now, I would have probably gone every time and made sure I looked super cute too. You see, there was a boy in that class. Let's call him Logan (because that's where I met him. In the city of Logan. seems fitting), any way, Logan was in my Chemistry class. He's tall, taller than me. He used to play basketball I think (or I'm making that up because it would totally fit). I first thought he was stuck up because he didn't really talk to a lot of people, however, I learned that he is actually just a really quiet guy. He has blonde hair and really nice eyes, though I don't remember what color they are. He would talk to me every once in a while, just say hi ask how I was and stuff like that. And then, after that class I moved back home. I visited Logan quite a bit though because I still had friends and family up there. Every once in a while I'd still run in to Logan and he would always stop and say hi. It kind of made me happy because he's a really attractive guy.
    Now, let's fast forward nearly ten years. I hadn't seen or talked to Logan in probably 8 or so years. I think he went on a mission (again, I could be making that up because I just don't really know) and then I went on my mission (which I am positive happened. I was there for that one) and then I stayed in the greatness of Happy Valley and finally went back to school and worked on a career path that I am still working on today. So, around Halloween time I was at FHE. I saw this guy across the gym that I could have sworn looked exactly like Logan. But what would he be doing here? So, naturally, I pulled up Facebook on my phone and stalked Logan's profile to see if it was really him. I was fairly certain it was, but I didn't really think he'd remember me. I went to the side of the gym he was on and was standing there with some friends when he stops talking to the posse of girls around him and says, "hey Soozee! How are you doing?" ...........um........hi? I almost died. But I kept it together and talked to him. for like a second and then my words were gone. I thought he'd gotten married, but after a little bit of facebook stalking, I realized that I had just assumed he'd gotten married, and here he was in the other singles ward that meets in the same building as me. what are the odds? Seriously.
      K, so I didn't see him for a couple more months and at the combined ward Christmas party I finally got the guts to go talk to him. We talked for a while and just caught up on what we'd been up to since our Freshman year of college (he got a Bachelors and Masters degree from USU) and then that was it. In between each encounter I was going to post something but then figured it would all amount to nothing and would be a waste of everyone's time.
      So now I'm sure you're wondering what has come over me that I am posting all of this now? Well, now it's a longer story and I feel it is more worth your time. Also, because there is one last update to this story. I was sick last weekend, but when Monday came around I still had to go to work and all that. By Monday I was feeling a lot better and decided to go to FHE since I am the new co-chair and everything. I didn't even know what the activity was, but I went any way. It was dodgeball. I am horrible at dodgeball when I'm not sick. So, I kind of watched from the sidelines. And then I saw Logan, so I went and said hi, talked to him for a minute and then he joined in the next game to play.
     I was standing off to the side by a wall, but still in the gym where the game was going on. I was just watching away when I got smacked in the face with a dodgeball. I looked up to see who had hit me, and there stood Logan half way across the gym looking mortified. I started laughing. He mouthed an apology across the gym and the game continued and I didn't think much more of it. At the end of the game when everyone was done playing about 20 minutes later, Logan came up to me and kept apologizing. It was really pretty funny. And this now leads me to my last point, and the real reason this post exists. After FHE, I was talking to Tango and we were talking about plans for my birthday next week. I didn't have any set plans, but I kind of wanted to invite Logan. I am sure my chances are slim to none, but he is such a cool guy that would it really kill me to at least invite him? SO, I did it. I invited him to come have cake and ice cream next week with me and my friends for my birthday. I haven't heard back from him, so I don't know if he's going to come or not, but at least I invited him. And the worst that could happen is he'll tell me now and I'll move on. Bu I was brave and I invited him to come! I will keep you all posted, but I'm not getting my hopes up.

I am a horrible person. And apparently I don't care about people. I started watching Maroon 5's new video for the song Daylight because they had done this whole project and had people submit videos, so I was intrigued to how they put it together. Maybe I watch too much TV with people's sob stories, but between every verse and chorus they have people tell about their lives and their problems. I watched maybe a minute and a half and turned it off because I wanted to tell many of the people to stop feeling sorry for themselves and go out and do something with their lives!!! (see, I'm a HORRIBLE person!) And I know that life can be hard, we all go through our hard times, I think I'm just tired of hearing other people's sob stories. Maybe I should go be a hermit for a while and then when I go back out into the world I'll have more compassion for others....or something.

    On a completely different note: I picked up my cross stitching skills again, which I haven't used in like 10 years. I used to be pretty good at it, but somewhere along the way I put it aside and forgot about it. Then, I saw this pattern for Thor and the other Avengers and thought it would be awesome. So, I got a few patterns to feed my nerdiness and started one....here's a pick of it:
isn't it sooooo cute! It's the 10th Doctor (David Tennant) from Doctor Who!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 I can hear some of you sighing and maybe even scrolling down the page....I'm a *little* obsessed, I know. I LOVE the show. But, I did already mention that I'm a horrible person, so that should be worse than a nerdy obsession. And speaking of the good Doctor, I am all caught up on the show, including the current Doctor, Matt Smith, and I think that I am going to be best friends with him one day.  I think he's going to be my ridiculous friend that I do crazy (but not too crazy) things with and we'll be those friends that have tons of inside jokes because crazy stuff always happens to us. Yeah, that's going to be me and Matt Smith. ALSO, he is EXACTLY the same height as me. That's kind of weird and cool.

On an entirely different note: I'm a paper away from being completely done with this semester!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!! I am soooooo glad about that! This has been a very hard semester and I am just so glad that it's done and over with!!! Hallelujah!!!!

And, because I love you, here's another bedtime story with David Tennant!!! Because he is awesome AND it's a Christmas story:

I kind of just fell in love with David Tennant.

DAVID TENNANT!!!!!!!!

Do you know who David Tennant is? If not, I'm not terribly surprised. He's been a few things you might have seen...He's Barty Crouch Jr. on Harry Potter 4. He is one of the voices in How To Train Your Dragon. And, most notably, he's the 10th doctor on the show Doctor Who. Yes....yes, I have started watching Doctor Who. And I love it. I may be judged for it, but I'm a nerd and I freely admit it.

Christopher Eccleston

     It's on Netflix and I started with the season staring Christopher Eccleston who I thought did an AMAZING job as the doctor. He was only on the first season and I completely sobbed at the end of the season when the doctor changes. Because the doctor is a time lord and instead of getting old, he regenerates instead. Always changing, but remaining the same-sort of. Any way, at the very end of the first season Christopher Eccleston regenerates and becomes David Tennant who is a skinny little nerd that I fell in love with in the first episode. As you will see in the next two clips...

see??? Don't you love him a little bit too....if not, you totally should. He's fantastic! And I kind of might love him a little bit...maybe...because he's hilarous. And he says time doesn't move in a line, but a "wibbly wobbly timey wimey...stuff"

Also, something that I love about Doctor Who is that there are loads of people off other shows. The main girl, Rose, is from BBC's Mansfield Park. There's the dad off of Persuasion, There's one of the mom's off Downton Abbey, There's just so many people from other places. Its' awesome!!

You just did, didn't you....it's okay, I did too.

For a minute, and only for this minute, I will freely admit I am a Whovian. However, I refuse to dress up like any of the many characters on the show or wish I could run into the Doctor on one of his adventures. But I will continue to be in love with David Tennant. Because he's fantastic. And he's hilarious. And I love the show. The end. Judge if you will, I may regret this post one day, but today is not that day. And I love Doctor Who.

Hello Fall, I'm glad we're friends.

It's fall time. I love fall time. It starts cooling down and the leaves start changing. Its this time of year that I really really miss North Carolina. The trees there are everywhere and I absolutely loved it when they fell all over the ground and made everything a little more colorful. A-MAZING.
    School started and I along with it. I'm taking some English classes (surprise surprise) and at the beginning of the semester I had this feeling just couldn't shake. Its hard to explain unless you've felt it, but I have only ever felt it one of time in my life, and that was the day I knew my mission call was waiting at home while I was not at home. Its the craziest feeling EVER. You may be wondering why exactly I was feeling this feeling again. I'm not going on another mission. I'm not really anticipating any huge new development in life, and yet the feeling would not leave me. It stuck around like the smell of cupcakes you are making for someone else. its actually kind of horrible in a non horrible way. Like I said, I can't really explain it. I still don't know what it was all for, but I'm back to my routine of work/school/social life/sleep....be jealous.
    I hung out with Liam last week, just he and I, which has never really happened. It was crazy/fun. He's such a cool guy. I'm really glad we are friends.
    I met a new guy at church on Sunday. Lets call him new guy, or NG. He's not from around here, and he's not like super duper attractive. He's actually kind of average looking, and yet, I am drawn to him. I met him Sunday and have hung out with him everyday since then. Yesterday we talked for about an hour. He's a really cool guy and I am really excited to get to know him better. watch for details, if ever there are any. :)
    The Voice started on Monday. I love The Voice. Mostly because I LOVE Adam Levine. We're going to be BFFs one day. AND, that's just not me talking either, all of my friends think it will happen too. So, someday, somehow I am going to be best friends with Adam Levine and its going to be so cool. And then he'll write a song for my book turned into a movie. That's going to be a great day. And all of you can say to yourself and all of your friends "I remember when I thought she was crazy writing on her blog about being friends with Adam Levine, but look, it actually happened. And then you'll text me and want to meet him. I know how these things go. And the answer is, we'll see what happens. Ha ha ha. you guys are great.
    I went out to my car last night after class and someone wrote on my driver's side window. It was awesome. I felt super special and loved.

    Okay, I think I should go. My class starts soon and I should probably pay attention. Have fun!!!

Thank You Netflix

I was on Netflix the other day looking for something new to watch and they suggested this show and they thought I might give it 4 stars. So, I figured why not give it a chance...here's a quick look at the show:



I watched the one and only season in about 24 hours. Between that and Maroon 5's Overexposed album I have been dead to the world, but living it up in my own happy place!


After watching the first few episodes of Accidentally on Purpose, I decided that the main guy, Jon Foster, is super attractive. Which is funny because he has lighter colored hair and I am usually a dark hair, light colored eyes type of girl. But, he has lighter hair and brown eyes. Crazy. AND, he has scruff/a beard for most of the show which I realized I actually kind of like...well, it was pointed out to me that I like guys with facial hair.
And, I realize that tattoos are not generally the best idea and I don't normally think they look good on people, but I really like his tattoos on the show. He has three stars on this right arm as I circled in the picture. Sorry if anyone takes offense that he has no shirt on. Scandalous, I know. I'm a horrible sinner. Me and some of my friends are always rating actors and actresses on a scale from 1 to 10. I have two 10s. A realistic 10, and an unrealistic 10. The realistic 10 used to be Josh Dallas hands down, he's Prince Charming from Once Upon A Time, but I think that Jon Foster is either tied, or slightly ahead of Josh Dallas. But, give it a week and everything could change...not that any of this actually matters, I realize its all very trivial. BUT, I'm young and single and have all this "free time", so what else am I going to be doing? ha ha ha...jk.

So, going back to beginning, the other obsession I mentioned was Maroon 5's new album Overexposed. I have always liked the band since Fort introduced me to them freshman year at USU. I fell in love with the clean version of their song "Payphone" even though its really sad and about a broken relationship because if you have nothing but a payphone, clearly you've lost EVERYTHING. Any way, I got the clean version of the CD and fell absolutely in love with it!!!!! Here is a music video that I feel really covers the theme of the whole album:



and I feel that the theme is that women will rip your heart out and leave you with nothing. Poor Adam Levine, clearly he's struggling with his breakup with his Russian Victoria Secret model. I really like that you can feel/hear an emotion in the songs though. A lot of times its all the same and I like it when artists mix it up a little bit.

Any way, this was an incredibly trivial post. I hope you liked it. Probably think I'm crazy, but its all good. You can call me crazy all you want, that doesn't make it true....most of the time. :)

I heart....

....many things, but today I heart Zachary Levi, especially in this song:

Confession: Sometimes I watch Tangled just to hear his voice. Ha ha ha, actually I LOVE that movie because it is AWESOME. but, I do love that he can actually sing quite well. CRAZY, I know. PLUS, in the music video he doesn't have a beard! that's pretty awesome because he almost always has a beard, as you can see in the picture George sent me a few months back.

I also heart my Changing Tyde soundtrack playlist that I will now share with all of you!!! HOORAY!!! K, so the layout is this: Song Title, Artist, Album. ENJOY!!!

Breathe In Breathe Out, Mat Kearney, Nothing Left to Lose

Rainy Zurich, The Fray, Scars & Stories (Deluxe Version)

All We Are, Matt Nathanson, Some Mad Hope

Black & Gold, Sam Sparro, Black & Gold

Look After You, The Fray, How To Save A Life

Down, Jason Walker, Jason Walker

Movie Screens, Meese, Broadcast

Everybody Hurts, Avril Lavigne, Goodbye Lullaby

Stitch By Stitch, Javier Colon, Stitch By Stitch

Make Me Believe, Angel Taylor, Love Travels

Wrong Side of Love, Augustana, Augustana

I'm Ready, Jack's Mannequin, Everything In Transit

Jump Then Fall, Taylor Swift, Fearless (Platinum Edition)

Say You're Mine, Kate Voegele, Gravity Happens (Deluxe Edition)

Stars Falling Down, Kina Grannis, Stairwells

Runaway, Maroon 5, Hands All Over

Run, Snow Patrol, Final Straw

Real, The Goo Goo Dolls, Real

Love Comes Tumbling Down ,Matt Nathanson, Modern Love

Where You Are, Gavin DeGraw, Sweeter

All This Time, OneRepublic, Waking Up

The Only Exception, Paramore, Brand New Eyes

Now Comes the Night [Live], Rob Thomas, Something to Be

Let Love In, The Goo Goo Dolls, Let Love In

With You Around, Yellowcard, When You're Through Thinking, Say Yes (Acoustic Version)

Unsaid (EP Ver.), The Fray, Reason [EP]

The Man Who Can't Be Moved, The Script, The Script

A Twist in My Story, Secondhand Serenade, A Twist in My Story

Come Home, OneRepublic & Sara Bareilles, Come Home - Single

My Sundown, Jimmy Eat World, Bleed American

More Than Anyone, Gavin DeGraw, Chariot

Be Still, The Fray, Scars & Stories (Deluxe Version)

God Gave Me You, Blake Shelton, Red River Blue

Ours, Taylor Swift, Ours - Single

Also, the goal is set. I will have my first draft of my book done in a month. I am almost done with finals (hallelujah!!!) and will now be able to spend even more time WRITING!!! YAY! Everyone should be happy about that!!! 

Any way, have a great week! I love you all!!

Real Quick because I gots ta go ta work!!!

This has brought so much joy and laughter into my life lately. I quote it amongst my friends all the time...enjoy!!