Batman V Superman, and other things

First of all, here's 2 chapters of Changing Tyde that I completely changed. Let me know what you think. They're SUPER rough drafts, but you should get the idea:

Chapter 2 - Kyla

I didn't think about how hard it was going to be to pack up my apartment. I moved quite frequently through out my college experience, this should be a piece of cake. But this time was harder than any of the other times. Everything I touched had a memory with him attached to it. I found myself reliving the last three years over and over again, each item bringing the pain in a new light. At this rate, I'll never get packed in time.

I finish packing the last box in the living room. I need to be packed and ready to go in two days. I look around my still mostly full apartment and feel defeated. I tape up the box and set in on top of the others labeled with a thick black sharpie. I look to the half packed kitchen and don't even want to think about the bedroom. I've avoided the bedroom more than anything else. The memories that room holds will be worse than the rest.

It's just a one bedroom apartment. It shouldn't be this difficult. And yet, I've been packing for a month. Or, avoiding the packing for a month. I pick up another box, determined to tackle the kitchen tonight when my phone buzzes to life on the counter top next to the sink. It's my best friend and former roommate Shannon. I answer it.

“Hey! I was just calling to see if you needed any help yet?” She sounds cheerfully cautious.

“I thought I could do this by myself, but I think I've hit the point where I need some help. When are you free?” I ask, frustrated. But before I can even finish the question, there's a knock at the door. I walk over and open the door as Shannon ends the call and looks up at me.

“I'm glad you're willing to let me help because I was going to help whether you wanted it or not.” She informs me with all the sass that her southern drawl implies. I hug her, feeling like I might not fall completely apart with her here.

“Thank you, Shan. Ugh. I odn't know what I was thinking.” I tell her.

“You were thinking that you could whip this all out in a day and a half like all the times we moved from one apartment to the next. But this isn't like all the other times.” She states, and I know she's right.

“I just get frustrated so easily. I'll be packing a box in the kitchen and before I know it, I'm ugly crying over a skillet Nick's mom gave me at my bridal shower. It's so depressing. Are you sure you want to help?” I ask.

“I'm sure I want to help. What is the hardest for you to pack?” She asks, looking around at the progress I have made.

“I finished the living room, I was just about to start on the kitchen again. I haven't really touched the bedroom. I've kind of avoided that one the most. Do you want to work on the kitchen and I'll try working on the bedroom?” I try sounding optimistic and determined. Shannon just smiles at me and wraps an arm around me,

“How about we do the bedroom together?” She asks with an optimism I lost a long time ago. I nod and we head over to the bedroom.

It's not that I have a lot of stuff in my bedroom, it's just that was the last place I saw Nick. It's where we slept each night and where we talked for hours about our future. I had gotten rid of most of his stuff, but there were still memories everywhere I looked.

We had moved into this apartment as newlyweds and now I was leaving everything behind. Shannon started taking all of my clothes out of the closet and putting them in a box. She probably would have done the whole thing if I let her. But I couldn't let her do that, so I grabbed a box and started going through my drawers.

“Would you believe that I've already gone through everything in here, like, three times?” I say with a slight smile as I find pictures from my first date with Nick. I hold up the picture to show Shannon, “Remember this night?”

“How could I forget? You were so smitten by him. You couldn't stop talking about him. Which was hilarious because you swore you didn't like him.”Shannon reminds me. I laugh a little and put the pictures in a box.

“He caught me off guard. I wasn't supposed to meet anyone that semester.”

“And yet, the universe and Nick had other plans.” She responds. I laugh a little at the memories and keep going. Within an hour my bedroom is completely packed and we head to the kitchen.

I sit down at the table to rest for a minute. Shannon grabs a couple bottles of water out of the fridge for us and sits across from me.

“Was that easier?” She asks. I nod.

“I don't think I could have done that without you. Thanks.” I open the water and take a drink.

“I'm so glad. Is the kitchen all that's left?” She asks looking around.

“Yeah, pretty much. And it's half way there. The moving truck will be tomorrow. Leo and Mark are going down with me to help me move in down there and then they're flying back on Saturday. This is all happening so fast.”

“I know. I can't believe you're actually leaving me. What am I going to do without you?” She teases.

“Come visit me. I don't have a huge apartment, but I do have a couch. And I'm not far from the beach!” I tell her.

“Fine. You win. I'll be here tomorrow to help you load the truck.” She looks at me with concern. This isn't new. Everyone's looked at me like that for a year. It's what happens when your whole life gets turned upside down and you're left scrambling to put the pieces back together. It's how I look at myself in the mirror each morning.

Chapter 4 - Kyla

I pull into an empty parking spot. Spring is in full bloom as I walk slowly through the empty grass and walk the familiar path to the one place I have found myself most often over the last year. I'm glad no one else has decided to come visit so that I can say goodbye alone. I stop at the granite gravestone.

Nicholas Andrew Robinson

May 16, 1988 – January 20, 2015

Beloved Husband and Son

I place a small arrangement of Gerber daisies at the base of the stone and kneel careful down next to it. This place has become sacred ground over the last year while I have dealt with the loss of my best friend.

“Hey Nick. I finally got all packed up and am ready to go. Shannon came by and helped last night or I'd probably be ugly crying over a knife set we got for the wedding.” I try to laugh at the absurdity of the truth, “your mom promised to come by regularly and bring you flowers. I know it's a little ridiculous for us to bring you flowers when you really didn't like them, but it's our way to let you know we care about you still.” I'm rambling. To a gravestone. If Nick really were here, he'd be teasing me with that ridiculous grin and sharp green eyes. I can still see them as if he were truly standing in front of me.

“So. California. I can't believe it's actually happening. Mom and Dad are thrilled to have me closer. They offered me the guest suite at their house, but I just couldn't move back in with them. I'm not the little girl that left there anymore. I did get the apartment down on 6^th Ave. It's a small studio apartment, but it'll do until I get on my feet again. Besides it's just me.” I can feel all of my emotions ebbing and flowing and rising like a river. I wasn't supposed to be alone ever again.

“I guess I really just wanted to come and say goodbye. Not for forever. I plan to come back and visit. I guess I just wanted to let you know that you completely changed my life, Nick, and I'll always love you for that. You showed up when I thought I didn't need anyone and proved me wrong. I love how you changed everything about my life and made me a better person. I will never forget you, or our life together. I will treasure each day we spent together and even though I'm moving away and moving on, that doesn't mean I'm going to forget you. I could never forget you. I still love you so much that it hurts. My heart is still broken and as long as I stay here it will be. I think that's part of why I took this job so soon. Because as long as I stay here all I'll think about is losing you. And I don't think you'd want me to stay here and dwell on what was. I think you want me to be happy. So that's what I'm going to try and do. Move on and be happy. I love you, Nick. Always.” I wipe away the tears that have collected and stand up to walk away. The sun is setting in front of me and the light dances through the trees and across Nick's grave. I smile and turn to walk back to my car. The pain of saying goodbye is just as hard as it was the day he was buried here.

.....sooooooo.....what did you think??? I'm actually really curious. You should, maybe, leave your thoughts in the comments or something.

Also, went and saw Batman V Superman last night after I revised 46 pages of the above story. It was a crazy awesome day and then I went to the movies with Liam, which was a lot of fun. It was a pretty good movie. They referenced a lot of different comic book story lines, so I'm curious where they take this. In my dream world, I will work for DC as a screenwriter. It's going to be awesome and their movies will be great. Any way, let me know what you thought of Changing Tyde. I know it's a lot different from where the story started and I am so happy that I get to keep working on it!!

Um...I didn't die, I promise

So, if anyone still reads this then let me apologize again for my lack of writing. It's not because I don't love you. Because I totally do. Mostly it's because I was trying really hard to graduate college while I was still 30. It's ridiculous, I know, but I just wanted to say I had graduated college by the time I was 30. 31 just sounds weirder. It's my OCD with numbers.

Um, so I did it. I graduated. I passed my last semester of classes and will walk in April as UVU only does one commencement a year. Go me! It's a huge accomplishment in my book. Nigh unto finishing my mission, which may sound ridiculous unless you've been there. A few years ago I felt like I hadn't really accomplished anything with my life and now I can say that I served a mission and graduated college. My parents would also like to see me add "got married and had kids" to my list of accomplishments, but these things take time.

I don't know if I ever mentioned this, but after years and years of really awesome self doubt and frustration with Heavenly Father about how my life was playing out, I am actually really cool with being single. Does it still suck living in Utah County where I am pretty much an old maid? Yeah, it kind of does. Mostly because there are no prospects here. There are LOTS of single guys, but none that I can ever see myself dating let alone marrying. They are also, on average, around seven or eight years younger than me. And I'm not really the cougar type. SO, waiting it is. I worked out a deal with my Heavenly Father that I think will work out great for all involved. And, you know what? I'm actually pretty excited about it. I feel like I took a really really long time getting to this place in my life where I finally see things  in a much broader perspective. And I'm willing to wait a little longer for things that will be better in my life. Guys, this is going to be my year. I can feel it. I've got so much coming my way and I can't wait to see all my hard work and plans come full circle.

Any way, if any of you are still reading this, just let me know. If not, I don't know. I'll probably just start adding poems that I wrote and stuff.

BTW, I got a poem published. That was cool.

New Movie Idea

So, I have to write a 15 minute movie for my screen writing class and I had this GENIUS idea. What if I wrote the first scene of LIGHTS into a movie? Wouldn't that be AMAZING?!?!?! And the answer, obviously, is YES. ABSOLUTELY. UNDOUBTABLY. YES. So, as soon as I finish it, I will post it on here for you to catch an early glimpse. Ta-da! Be excited. I know you can't wait! It's going to LEGEN-WAIT-FOR-IT-DARY!!!! LEGENDARY!!!

Midterm Catch Up

So sorry, dear readers, for leaving you hanging for so long! I'm past midterms and well on my way to the end of the semester. This semester has been a game changer for me. No longer am I constantly looking for the elusive Dean Carmichael. I'm also not going into English Ed. anymore either. WHAT?!?!?! I know, I know you were just thinking the same thing. Let me 'esplain. There is too much, let me sum up:

I was minding my own business last week, just hanging out, working on a script for screen writing, enjoying my life and all of that and then I went to bed because it was late. How anti-climatic, I know. That night I had a dream that I was going to lunch with Joss Whedon, Tom Hiddleston and Chris Hemsworth. I wasn't freaking out in my dream, it was a very regular day in the context of the dream. My phone rang and it was one of my current friends. I went to answer it and woke up. Well that was weird,  I thought to myself as I got up and got ready for the day. Too bad that will probably never happen. And I started another super crazy day. I turned in my script, we read it in class, talked about it's strengths (jokes about botulism) and it's weaknesses (your characters are too normal. They have quirks, bring out the quirks!) and after I got home from another long day I went to bed and had another dream. Much like the first. This continued, and the situation was always similar. Me, California, screenwriting, Tom Hiddleston.
      I don't really know where the whole Tom Hiddleston thing came from. I've been vehement about not liking him because this girl I know pins like 25-115 pictures of him on Pinterest a day. That's worse than my craziest Doctor Who day! So, after I woke up from the dream where I was going to the Oscar's with Tom Hiddleston because I'd been nominated for Best Screenplay, I told my room mate about it and the dream wouldn't leave me all day. It was weird. So, I did what I do best. I watched a movie. With Tom Hiddleston in it. And thought about the complexity of dreaming and life.
    I told Tango about my dreams and he was jealous because he is as much a fan of Tom Hiddleston as I now am. He commented on how he feels that Tom Hiddleston would make a good Jason Tyde. At first I adamantly opposed the very idea because Tom is not as broad as Jason is. He doesn't really look the part. However, he could nail the emotion perfectly. If you don't know anything about Tom Hiddleston aside from Thor and The Avengers, he's well known for being incredibly polite and respectful. Kind of the polar opposite of the character he plays in those movies. And I have come around and actually think he would be a very good Jason Tyde. Good 'ol Jason. Gosh I love that guy.

    I have always dreamed of being a writer. And this semester I have fallen in love with screenwriting. My dad asked me recently how school was and I told him how much I LOVE writing. I should seriously make it my career. I explained it like this:
     I once read a talk from Pres. Eyring about when he was young his dad really pushed him to get a degree in Physics, but he didn't like Physics. He was struggling a little bit and asked his dad for help. They looked over it together and went on with life. The next day his dad came to him and asked about the question. Pres. Eyring said he hadn't thought about it since they looked at it. His dad looked surprised, and said something to the effect of, "don't you think about Physics all the time when you have nothing else to think about?" and Pres. Eyring said he didn't. His dad thought for a minute and then replied, "Find what you love to do, that it is what you think about when you have nothing else on your mind." I have loved the idea of truly loving what you do. I love writing and think about it often, but as I have taken this screenwriting class I have learned that it is what I think about when I have nothing else on my mind. It consumes me and I LOVE thinking about what story I want to tell and how I'm going to tell it.
    Oh, and Dean. Wonderful Dean. Wherever he is, I feel that he is busy, and the time is not at hand for us to meet. And, you know what, that's totally okay. I don't think I'll be getting married for a little while longer. And usually I say I'm okay with it, but I'm freaking out inside. This time, however, I'm totally okay with it. I'll probably get married when I'm 32, which is fine. And although this whole prospect scares me to death, I'm excited and hopeful.
     Thus, the explanation. I am going to become a screenwriter and after some extensive conversations with my Heavenly Father over the last 2 weeks, the plans I had for my life have begun to shift and it's looking like I will get a degree in screenwriting and hopefully get a job in California and go do that whole thing. Very specific plans, I know. I'm awesome like that.
    So there you have it. A catch up on my life thus far. Be excited, friends, because although everything I'm reaching for terrifies me, I know that with Heavenly Father on my side, I won't fail.

SUMMERTIME!!!!!!!!! (this is kind of long, but you'd kill me if I shortened it, I promise!)

So, I'm just going to throw a bunch of info at you and you're going to work through it and have fun with it, k? K. So, I moved!!!! YAY!!!!! I moved to the great city Northward. Okay, not the GREAT city, I just moved to Provo-ish area. Student housing. AWESOME! I have great room mates and I live 5 minutes from work (woot woot!!). It's a lot of fun. Pictures to come shortly.

     Now for the part you've all been waiting for. I met a boy. DON'T FREAK OUT. NOTHING HAS HAPPENED YET. And, I'm not counting on anything happening. I think he'll be a good friend. And that's all that I'm hoping for. Even if he could potentially be the man of my dreams. Because, seriously, he could be. But I don't know if he is or not. So, here's the run down on him. I went to a party at Liam's house. I didn't really think much of it because his parties are huge and I was really only there because he's one of my best friends and I didn't want him to know that I don't absolutely love his parties. Because they're fun, but there's SO MANY people there. So many. And I don't do well with crowds of people. Any way, I wen to the party and Liam had mentioned earlier that he was having a DJ come and it was going to be SUPER AWESOME. This did not help my wanting to go because that meant dancing, and I don't dance. It's not that I can't dance, its that I don't. 

     So, the night of the party comes around and I made cupcakes for it, because I always make treats for Liam's parties, because you never know who might be there. I showed up at the party and one of my friends was leaving with her boyfriend that I don't approve of (not that my opinion matters), and Liam was happy to see me, as always, and Ale was there, and a ton of other people from the ward. I was talking to people when Liam is like "Hey look, my friend is here!" and at that moment, this guy walks back with his speakers and DJ type stuff. I didn't think much of him, and then he turned around. I didn't get a good look at his face, but when I saw him-like actually saw him there-my initial thought was 'hmmm, maybe you should talk to him'. But I ignored it for a while.

     And then I found a moment to talk to him. I don't have a nickname for him yet, maybe we'll just call him DJ because he was the DJ, yeah, that works. SO, DJ is a writer. We talked writing for a while, and he didn't think my ideas for stories were crazy, which was awesome. He has a bachelor's degree in English, and is going to law school now. He works at the temple with Liam, another awesome thing about him. And he is kind of cute. And he inspired me. In the 10 minutes we talked he was asking me about Changing Tyde and was like "so it's kind of like a fairy tale" and it hit me like a brick wall that Changing Tyde very much is like a fairy tale. I love it! New life for a story I've been stuck on for forever! YAY!!! And he was telling me about some of the stories he's been working on, and they sound really cool. 

     Then, the party continued on, and I didn't really get the chance to talk to DJ again, but it was fun. AND THEN, Ale did a not very nice thing. She tricked me and I ended up dancing with this guy that I really don't get along with. It was creepy, and weird. AND, Ale recorded it on her phone. and won't delete it. AND, NO, you can't see it. 

    So, a few of my friends were like "you should ask for DJ's number!!!" and I was like "no." and they kept trying to convince me to do it, but I didn't and when I left DJ noticed and said "oh, are you leaving?" (mind you, it's about 1 AM at this point) and I tell him yes, and he says something like "Well it was really great to meet you." And there's a weird lingering high five and then I walked away. And my thought was 'if I'm supposed to see him again, it'll happen...somehow'. And that is the end of the story......

Here: watch this video! It's kind of funny!!!

And this one too!!!

okay, alright, I'll tell you more of the story, because of course it doesn't end there!! :) 

So, there I was, all alone and moved in to my new place. I went to church and met some nice people. They are all a bit younger than me, but that's okay, I'm used to it. Most single people are younger than me these days. I talked to Ale about DJ and she had mentioned that lots of people thought the DJ and I were a match made in heaven and, apparently, one of my friends didn't go talk/flirt with him because she thought that he was perfect for me. OH, and my room mate kept text Liam asking when he was going to stop by with DJ. It was all a bit much. He didn't ask for my number, I didn't ask for his, there was no indication (that I am aware of) that DJ was at all interested in seeing me again, or even remembering that he met me. 

That Friday night I ended up hanging out with Liam and explained that I thought DJ was cute, and he seems like an incredible guy, but taht I was not expecting Liam to set me up with him or anything. I really just wanted to get to know DJ better and become friends because we are both writers, and i could use some writer friends these days. Liam agreed and said that he wanted DJ and I to get to know each other better especially because we are both such awesome people (his words, not mine, though I'm not disagreeing). 

Jump forward to the next Friday morning. I get a text from Liam asking what I am doing on Saturday night. I tell him that I'm not doing anything, to which he informs me that I am going to a party at DJ's apartment with him. I tell him okay and that is that. 

Come Saturday, I am a little bit nervous and slightly anxious, mostly because I'm afraid that DJ is going to be like "who is this weird girl with Liam?" But he wasn't like that at all. And I looked cute. Like Tango approved outfit and hair cute. And when we walked in DJ was like "Hey! It's my friend Liam!!!" and I thought he had forgotten me, but no! "And hey! It's Soozee too! Awesome! Glad you could make it!" I may have smiled kind of a lot. He remembered who I was. Props to him. And the party was fun. We watched Emperor's New Groove and it was fun.

K, so you know when you meet someone and you think they're cute, but it's also kind of dark when you meet them, and then you don't see them for a few weeks and then you see them and they're not as cute as you remembered them being? yeah, I was worried about that happening, but it totally didn't. DJ was actually cuter than I remembered. And, he's a hug-er. He gives hugs. I don't know why I am always becoming friends with guys that love to hug, not that I mind. I mean, I know I have that whole "don't like to be touched" thing, but that's really for people that I don't know or don't like. If I think you're cute, then I don't mind if you hug me. I digress, moving on. DJ is cute. And his movie night was fun. And, when we were talking to him after I found myself asking if he wanted to come to a pizza night at my apartment the next week. And he said yes. And then asked if I had his number so I could text him the details. I told him I didn't, so he asked if I had a phone and I gave it to him and he put his number in my phone. It was pretty great. And as we walked away, Liam also seemed happy about how things had progressed with DJ. 

Lets move forward to Wednesday night. Liam was there, and Ale, and DJ was super late. BUT, he came. And I think he gets a little bit cuter every time I see him. I had made chicken alfredo pizza and mini chocolate tarts. Neither of which lasted very long. DJ agreed that I make amazing pizza, which I was actually worried about because we had previously had a discussion about amazing pizza and he said that the pizza in Italy (where he served his mission) was the best he'd ever had. So, when he said my pizza was amazing, I was really happy. And then someone suggested that we go see the new Star Trek movie. I said I didn't really have the money to go, but DJ (without skipping a beat) offered to pay for me, and we all went. Ale, and one of my room mates that came said that they felt like DJ and I were on a date and they just happened to be there too. I didn't really get that vibe, but it was fun. I was able to talk to DJ for a minute. He grew up in northern Utah, his favorite color of all time is green, and his favorite cookie is Snickerdoodles. I mentioned that I happen to make really great Snickerdoodles, which he said he did not doubt because I am an amazing cook. TA-DA! I'm amazing. So, the movie was good. My flip flop flipped off my foot and landed behind the seat in front of me shortly after the movie started which sucked, but had no bearing on the quality of the movie. I like Benedict Cumberbatch who plays Kahn, so that was awesome. I thought the story was well developed and the actors did a good job. Also, the one liners were pretty great. All in all, if you liked the first one, you'll probably like the second one as well. 

So, I didn't think I'd get to talk to DJ again. We had tennative plans for later that week that moved to next week, and new I'm not exactly sure when we're going to get together again, but it's all good. 

And then last night happened. I met up with Ale and my friend who has the boyfriend I don't approve of and it was alright. To be honest, I had more fun when it was just me and Ale talking. And hopefully said friend with boyfriend doesn't read my blog. If she does, then we will be having a conversation soon about how I really feel and how I hide my true feelings. I'm a horrible person,  I know. Any way, I had asked Liam what he was doing in case he wanted to come hang out with us. he didn't get back to me until he was off work which, by that point, everyone had gone home. So, I asked if he was doing anything because I didn't feel like going home yet. He mentioned he was at DJ's apartment and that I should come by. So, I did. 

Did you know that DJ plays the violin? He plays quite well, in fact. And the guitar. And he can sing. AND, he's smart. And, he gets cuter every time I see him. AND, I kind of asked what he was doing this weekend and if he doesn't end up going to Montana, we're probably going to do something at some point. 

BUT, I don't expect things to go anywhere with DJ. I think he's adorable, but, now that I've posted this here, I've jinxed myself and it will all fall to apart. Which, lets be honest, it would have done all on its own. Not that I don't want anything to happen, I'm just trying to be realistic and not get my hopes up. Because the odds of him wanting to date me are not usually in my favor. And don't get upset with me. I know I'm a wonderfully fantastic person, and there should be a line at my door if guys actually saw how amazing I am. But they don't always see it, and that really is okay. A line at my door would be terribly inconvenient for everyone. And then I'd feel obligated to be nice to them, and cook for them, since they are waiting at my door and all, and it just wouldn't be fun. SO, I'm happy with where I am, and more importantly with WHO I am. DJ is a friend, and I love being friends with him. It's so much fun. He's such a nice guy. And I love that I get to know him a little bit better every time we hang out. It's fantastic! And this post is REALLY long and if you're still here CONGRATS!!!! I should make you cookies or something! How about Snickerdoodles?? ha ha ha!!!

     

If you read this, I'm really okay, I promise.

So, I've been thinking about life again. I should be writing papers right now, or going to the church to set up for FHE, but here I am, thinking about life and about all of you lovely people that still read this blog, or that have just started (hello, new people!!!). I am a very unique individual. I don't use "unique" as code for weird, nerdy, strange, crazy, or insane; although some and/or all of them may apply on any given day. I say that I am unique because there really isn't another one like me. I am my own person. I have amazing talents and gifts that other people don't. I made 150 cupcakes between Friday and Saturday. They looked AMAZING. and I'm not just saying that for a pat on the back, they were beautiful. And I did them. All by myself. I made the cupcakes. I made the frosting. I made the Andes mint fudge. I didn't smash the Oreos because Ale asked to, but beyond that, they were mine. All mine. This may also sound a little self absorbed, but sometimes I don't want people to help me because I want all the credit. I don't like sharing. maybe because I usually have a vision of what I want and I feel that if other people get involved I'll lose my sight and then I have to tell people that other people helped me, and with this project, I wanted it all. I still ended up having to share the credit, but that's okay. Because I know that I did it all. They were mine. All mine. And I am so proud of myself for accomplishing my goal despite really unfortunate set backs.
    I am also unique (and this is really where I was going with this...just had to vent about the cupcakes) because I am 28 years old, and I am still very single. So many of my friends are married with 1 or 2 kids and their lives and stresses and worries are completely different than mine. I love my life. I absolutely love it. I was talking to my sister in law the other day and we were talking about how the grass is always greener on the other side, which is so true. I look at my friends that are married and think "do you realize how lucky you are? Do you see how amazing your life is? Do you know what I would give to have what you have? You're so lucky!!!!" Each day of our lives presents itself with challenges, and I understand that. And now that I've shared my secret envy of my friends, I will share with you another little secret. I'm also really okay with my life. Have I said that enough in this post? I'm totally okay with my life right now. I'm taking steps forward and putting plans into action (except for the writing my papers right now thing....I really need to work on that one). I have come to terms with, and accepted, that it is a possibility I might not get married in this life. Now, before you call me and tell me how I'm going to find someone and that I'm giving up to soon (because I've found that is a response I get quite regularly when people ask if I'm dating someone and I tell them I'm not looking). This does not mean that I don't want to get married, I do-believe me, I do!!! This also doesn't mean that I've given up on looking for Dean. This just means that if the opportunity never presents itself, I will be okay. I have plans for my life and they are AMAZING plans!!! I can't be best friends with Adam Levine and Matt Smith if I'm married with kids. That would be awkward. If I was single, I could do all the crazy things I dream about sometimes. I could publish some books, open a bakery, and then go travel through Europe. Get lost in Ireland. Randomly end up in Cardiff where they film Doctor Who. If I'm going to dream, I might  as well dream big, you know? So, that's what I'm doing. And then, when I do happen to meed Dean Carmichael (whether in this life, or the next) I will know that everything he and I have been through will have made us stronger and better for each other. I will fully understand why I was asked to travel this path alone for as long as I will be asked to. That day will be a glorious one, and I can't wait to meet him. And I know that patience is a virtue, and one that I feel I have learned a lot of. But I actually really love it. patience is still a hard thing for me, but knowing that the longer I wait *patiently*, the greater blessings I can receive.
     I do love my life. And I expect great things from myself. I know that I can do hard things. I know that I can accomplish great things, and I know that my Heavenly Father has tried to help me see all that He has in store for me for a while now. I finally figured out how to listen. And it's a beautiful future, no matter what happens. I hope we can all find that joy in the journey. I hope we can all find the peace that the gospel brings. If you don't have that peace, I hope you can find it. There is nothing that compares.

I am the writer.

I have a teacher this semester that requests a response to each of the authors we study. She keeps telling us that we are the writers, so whatever we write is our response. We are the writers. We are the writers. I am the writer. I decided to test the limits with my Emily Dickinson response because I couldn't think of anything academic to say, I just kept seeing Emily and Ian and part of their story running through my head, so I decided to run with it! And here you go:

Soozee Carmichael

Emily Dickinson Response

February 9, 2013

As I read Emily Dickinson this time through, I kept having this story play through my mind as I read her words. I am not a poet at all, but I am a writer and I felt that I could best express my impression of Emily Dickinson's poetry through a story of my own. This is just an excerpt of what I saw in my mind, and much like her poetry, you will see only a tiny glimpse of a much broader idea. I feel that this story best captures my feelings of the poetry we read because it's a story that focuses on a ballerina named Emma who thinks that everything around her is real, but in reality everything she is seeing is false and the dream that she keeps having is real. She is actually married to the man in her dreams, but she has been taken and made to think that he never existed, thus making him just a dream to her. So she keeps seeing him in her mind and knowing that he is significant, but she has no way of knowing exactly how to get to him, or that he is real. I feel that there is a sense of longing and hopefulness in the midst of these poems that kind of remind me of what Emma is feeling. In some ways, I think Emma understands Emily Dickinson far better than I could. This story reminds me of Ms. Dickinson's poems specifically about eternity, nature and beauty. Not that the other poems we read don't apply, there are just several that really led me to write the excerpt below.

More Than Just A Dream

Sometimes I dream about him. And then I wake up alone and I reach out in between my dream and reality as if reaching for him will bring him closer to me. The dream is always the same. It starts out so happy and peaceful. We're having a picnic in this beautiful meadow with silver trees. The trees aren't entirely silver, they have veins of silver running through them. They're magical. And so is he. His messy perfect hair, his gorgeous eyes, and the way he looks at me and makes me feel so loved. We are there laughing when the sky suddenly goes dark and a shadow passes over his face. He get up and he takes my hand. Its all very quick as he tries to get to safety, wherever that is.

Someone is following us. Stalking us. He keeps a firm grip on my hand and keeps looking back to make sure I'm still there. “Don't let go!” he keeps shouting as we run down a steep hill covered in jagged rocks. He looks at me, and then at his watch. He looks at me again and is saying something, but I can't understand him. Whatever is following us is getting closer. I can't see the creature-whatever it is, but I can tell it's getting close. I can feel it.

And then he's gone. My love has vanished and my hand falls to my side as I start to slow. I don't know where I'm going. And then everything goes dark and I wake up. I can't remember his name, and as soon as I wake up the details of his face start to fade. It's like there's something that doesn't want me to remember him. Whoever he is, he left me there, though. Alone. To face the darkness. But I still reach for him. And I realize that my twin bed wouldn't fit anyone but me any way. My hand reaches out for the love that isn't there and finds cold air of the frigid January morning in New York.

I get up and walk to the window, as if looking out will bring him closer to me. Absentmindedly, I play with the ring on my left hand. It doesn't mean anything to me, but I wear it any way. It catches every glimmer of light that is around. I twirl it around my finger over and over again without realizing I'm doing it. It's become a habit. I almost feel like it's supposed to remind me of something, but I can't think of what. And then I remember the man in my dreams. I don't know who he was, but it is as if our souls were attached, and we can't live without each other. But dreams are all that I have. I don't know what else to do, I know he doesn't exist. That much is never spoken, but understood in my mind.

My bookshelf stood beside my window. An old black book caught my eye, I picked it up. It was the complete works of Emily Dickinson. I had always loved her poetry. The way that they stood out from the ordinary and brought a darker shadow to the ordinary. I somehow felt that she understood my life and the craziness that I felt each day as I awoke from the same dream; as if my reality was just out of reach. I opened the pages and read the first poem I came to:

13

Sleep is supposed to be

By souls of sanity

The shutting of the eye.

Sleep is the station grand

Down which, on either hand

The hosts of witness stand!

Morn is supposed to be

By people of degree

The breaking of the Day.

Morning has not occurred!

That shall Aurora be —

East of Eternity —

One with the banner gay —

One in the red array —

That is the break of Day!

“Emma?” I hear my name from behind me. I turn and see Nikki standing in my doorway. Our apartment is small, and I'm sure she heard me in my sleep again.

“Sorry, was I talking in my sleep again?” This was becoming a nightly occurrence.

“No, but I heard you get up and wanted to make sure you were alright. How did you sleep? Did you have the dream again?” Nikki looked concerned, again. She had been my best friend for as long as I could remember. She knew everything about me.

“Yeah, I did. It's always the same. The same guy, the same place, the same darkness chasing us. I wish I knew what it meant.” I closed the book that spoke directly to my soul, putting all of my thoughts, doubts and fears onto paper. As I placed it back on the shelf I turned to Nikki,

“Maybe it's better if you don't.” I turned back to the window and watched the people rushing through the rain below us. I didn't want to ignore these dreams. They meant something. I just didn't know what.

“He's not real, Em. There's no one that could be that perfect. And, I don't know of anywhere that has silver trees. So, it's all in your fantastic imagination. Now lets go, we have rehearsal in like 35 minutes and I'm pretty sure that it's going to be a really long rehearsal since we've only got three days until the show opens. Too bad not everyone has their part down like you do.” It was true, ballet had come naturally to me. I was the prima ballerina in the New York City Ballet. You don't just wake up in that position. It takes a lot of hard work and dedication. I had given up everything to achieve this dream. Nothing was going to stand in my way.

I got ready quickly and we rushed over to the studio. We were the last ones there. We joined in with everyone else warming up and before I knew it, we were in the midst of running through the entire performance. Something odd had been going on, and I couldn't quite figure out how to explain it. My dance partner's name was David, and although he was incredibly talented, I felt like I had never danced with him before in my life. He was more rigid than necessary and we didn't exactly flow well together. There was something off about the way we danced. I also kept calling him Marques, which was odd. There were so many unexplained oddities in my life. I felt like I was living in a dream and that nothing was real. But how can reality not be real? How can everything I see in front of me and feel and do and touch be false?  

Best Day EVER!!!!

So, I'm a couple of days late on writing this, but it was my birthday, so I assume you will all forgive me. If not, that's dumb. It's my birthday....or it was two days ago. Any way....it was my BIRTHDAY!!! I love my birthday! It's such a FABULOUS day!!!! I am actually going to post again when the write up about my cake goes live in the next few days, but lets just say that my cake was very me this year. Yeah, and it was AWESOME. the end. Oh, and Logan didn't come over when I invited friends over. But that's okay. I really didn't think he would, and that's okay. Liam, on the other hand, has been really really sweet lately; which isn't entirely unusual for him, it just seems a little bit more than usual. I don't know what is going on there.
    Any way, last week Tango and I went to see Ellie Goulding in Salt Lake, and before you think to yourself  'who on Earth is Ellie Goulding???' here is the song most of you have heard of hers:

and now I'm guessing your next thought is "Um....Soozee....that was kind of a weird music video...." yeah, I know, but it's a me and Tango thing. AND, that's what he got me for Christmas. AND, it was a lot of fun. Other than the stupid guy a few rows in front of us that kept jumping up and down right in front of me........I don't like to be touched (then why did I go to a concert?!?!?!) and there was soooo many people there. It was insane, and that guy kept blocking my view. I really wanted to throw something at him, but that would have caused a riot, and I didn't want that. SO, I enjoyed the concert and made fun of the drunk people. Plus, I went with Tango and that was a lot of fun. He and I don't usually go do stuff just the two of us outside of work, so it was just a fun night. Full of fog...that was scary. But we survived. And it really was sooo much fun! She is really really good live. Like, she sounds like she did in the video; only it was in real life. Crazy.

Before we went to the concert, we were meeting up with Tex and his wife (I don't think I've mentioned her before, lets call her Maddie) So, Tex and Maddie live in Salt Lake and we were going to meet up for dinner. So, we met them at their apartment and all headed over to the restaurant  and Maddie was like "Our table is over here" and I was just thinking she had called ahead or something, so we follow her and when we get to the back of the restaurant, there's a big group of people at the tables. I was a little curious, and then I realized that I knew a bunch of these people! Liam was there, along with a couple of other friends! It was so crazy, I was soooo surprised! Maddie had planned a surprise party for both Tex and I (because Tex's birthday is the day before mine) and had invited all of our friends! It was so awesome! And she made me this book and had asked a bunch of my friends and my parents to write in it. It was super cute! She is so sweet! She and I have become best friends over the last few months, and she is just so awesome! It was a crazy weekend last weekend.

Oh! And before I went to dinner (you're getting the events backwards, but I'm sure you'll figure it all out in the end!), I went to lunch with one of my oldest friends. she told me she had gotten me a present and to close my eyes so she could give it to me. We were standing outside her bedroom and she opened the door to her bedroom and told me to open my eyes. I did, and there stood a life size cardboard cut out of David Tennant as The Doctor on Doctor Who!!!!!! I was speechless and could not move! It was crazy! He now resides in my room, and scares me to death every once in a while when I forget he's there. It's kind of scary to walk in and a tall looming figure is in your room. And then you realize he's flat and then you remember he's the Doctor and it would never be a bad thing to run into him. So yeah, that was my birthday pre-weekend. It was a lot of fun!!! 

This is the story of a boy

Once upon a time, and several years ago, I was a young freshman at Utah State University. It was my first adventure out on my own. I met many new people and gained great new friends. I took a Chemistry class at 7AM that I hardly went to, though if I knew then what I knew now, I would have probably gone every time and made sure I looked super cute too. You see, there was a boy in that class. Let's call him Logan (because that's where I met him. In the city of Logan. seems fitting), any way, Logan was in my Chemistry class. He's tall, taller than me. He used to play basketball I think (or I'm making that up because it would totally fit). I first thought he was stuck up because he didn't really talk to a lot of people, however, I learned that he is actually just a really quiet guy. He has blonde hair and really nice eyes, though I don't remember what color they are. He would talk to me every once in a while, just say hi ask how I was and stuff like that. And then, after that class I moved back home. I visited Logan quite a bit though because I still had friends and family up there. Every once in a while I'd still run in to Logan and he would always stop and say hi. It kind of made me happy because he's a really attractive guy.
    Now, let's fast forward nearly ten years. I hadn't seen or talked to Logan in probably 8 or so years. I think he went on a mission (again, I could be making that up because I just don't really know) and then I went on my mission (which I am positive happened. I was there for that one) and then I stayed in the greatness of Happy Valley and finally went back to school and worked on a career path that I am still working on today. So, around Halloween time I was at FHE. I saw this guy across the gym that I could have sworn looked exactly like Logan. But what would he be doing here? So, naturally, I pulled up Facebook on my phone and stalked Logan's profile to see if it was really him. I was fairly certain it was, but I didn't really think he'd remember me. I went to the side of the gym he was on and was standing there with some friends when he stops talking to the posse of girls around him and says, "hey Soozee! How are you doing?" ...........um........hi? I almost died. But I kept it together and talked to him. for like a second and then my words were gone. I thought he'd gotten married, but after a little bit of facebook stalking, I realized that I had just assumed he'd gotten married, and here he was in the other singles ward that meets in the same building as me. what are the odds? Seriously.
      K, so I didn't see him for a couple more months and at the combined ward Christmas party I finally got the guts to go talk to him. We talked for a while and just caught up on what we'd been up to since our Freshman year of college (he got a Bachelors and Masters degree from USU) and then that was it. In between each encounter I was going to post something but then figured it would all amount to nothing and would be a waste of everyone's time.
      So now I'm sure you're wondering what has come over me that I am posting all of this now? Well, now it's a longer story and I feel it is more worth your time. Also, because there is one last update to this story. I was sick last weekend, but when Monday came around I still had to go to work and all that. By Monday I was feeling a lot better and decided to go to FHE since I am the new co-chair and everything. I didn't even know what the activity was, but I went any way. It was dodgeball. I am horrible at dodgeball when I'm not sick. So, I kind of watched from the sidelines. And then I saw Logan, so I went and said hi, talked to him for a minute and then he joined in the next game to play.
     I was standing off to the side by a wall, but still in the gym where the game was going on. I was just watching away when I got smacked in the face with a dodgeball. I looked up to see who had hit me, and there stood Logan half way across the gym looking mortified. I started laughing. He mouthed an apology across the gym and the game continued and I didn't think much more of it. At the end of the game when everyone was done playing about 20 minutes later, Logan came up to me and kept apologizing. It was really pretty funny. And this now leads me to my last point, and the real reason this post exists. After FHE, I was talking to Tango and we were talking about plans for my birthday next week. I didn't have any set plans, but I kind of wanted to invite Logan. I am sure my chances are slim to none, but he is such a cool guy that would it really kill me to at least invite him? SO, I did it. I invited him to come have cake and ice cream next week with me and my friends for my birthday. I haven't heard back from him, so I don't know if he's going to come or not, but at least I invited him. And the worst that could happen is he'll tell me now and I'll move on. Bu I was brave and I invited him to come! I will keep you all posted, but I'm not getting my hopes up.

1/1/13...that's a lot of 1s

Oh my gosh, I'm so tired. I hit 4 different parties last night. Got home around 3, slept in a bit and I am still thinking that is NEVER happening again. Too much running around. BUT, it was great to see so many people! I also saw a really fantastic fireworks show put on by my pyro of a brother. He was like a little kid on Christmas morning. Okay, maybe not THAT excited, but I know he had fun, and I had fun watching them all go off.
    Christmas was amazing! It was just super great! I got some really awesome presents and got to spend time with my amazing family. Also, I thought my car had died, but it didn't!!!! That was STUPENDOUS!! A quick fix and my good little Logan car is back on his feet!...or tires?? But yeah, he's fine and I'm back to the freedom having a car permits.
     It's 2013. That's crazy. I enter this new year with high hopes and hopefully big plans. School, of course, is part of that plan. I also want to finish either Lights, or Changing Tyde. Either one would be fabulous. I'd like to get the ball rolling on that whole dream. I also am kind of hoping Dean Carmichael shows up sometime. That would be amazing. BUT, he might not come this year, or ever (and I can hear the protests about me being young and all that....) I know that when I turn 28 in about a month doesn't make me that old, and there is definitely still hope that I will get married, but it might not happen, and if it doesn't, I'm still going to have an AMAZING life. Focused on the goals I have regardless of my marital status.
    A good friend of mine blogged about Plan A and Plan B and starting to focus on Plan B because Plan A doesn't look like it's going to work out and how hard it is to give up on the plan you really wanted for one you just set aside in case. I have felt this way MANY times. And I love this dear friend so much!!
    One thing I love about last summer was that I spent the summer focusing on me and what I really wanted in life and I set goals and plans that I like to call my Plan AB. I am going to accomplish these plans and goals whether or not Dean comes around. He might be super busy right now, and maybe he died in the war in heaven, you know? I can't spend the rest of my life wishing him here, because that obviously doesn't work. ha ha.
    But, it is hard at times when it seems everyone who had even the slightest possibility of a relationship is now engaged. A couple of weeks ago every day Facebook informed me of a different friend that had just gotten engaged. I really started to avoid social networking for a while. This next year is going to be really awesome, or really really depressing. I think I'll go back to avoiding wedding receptions. Sometimes, it's just easier that way.
    Now that I have successfully brought down the mood of my blog....Um, I have been working a lot on LIGHTS lately and I fall more and more in love with those characters the more I write them into existence. Ian and Emma are such amazing and beautiful people. They are both such strong fighters, which is good because I am going to put them through quite the journey. I can see that story turning into a series, which will be awesome. I am so excited. I stay up late and write sometimes. I can't help it!!! I love it so much!!!!

Does anybody read this anymore?

I have no idea if people still read this blog. I've been horrible at writing, and for that I apologize. BUT, I recently discovered this author. Her name is Jenni James. She's actually a friend of a friend and her books are pretty fantastic. I have several copies of many of them. Any way, she's got another book coming out in her Jane Austen series, Emmalee, and since she spelled Emmalee's name the same as my fake British assistant, I couldn't help but LOVE the snippet I have read of it. Here is a link to her blog that has a give away for Emmalee. You should go enter...actually, don't because I want to win. ha ha ha.

What would life be without some CRAZY RANDOMNESS?!?!?!?!

I was on good 'ol Facebook the other day and ended up talking to a friend I haven't seen or heard from in nearly 2 years. I made his birthday cake then, and I'm pretty sure I called him Soldier Boy on here, which is such an apt description of him. So, I ended up talking to SB for a little while and he invited me to his birthday party and I suggested that I come by the day after his birthday and bring him some cupcakes (because I was already making cupcakes. I didn't make them just for him...I'm not THAT nice...) and he said that would be great. SO, yesterday after I got off work I stopped by his place and we ended up talking for about an hour or so. It was really good to catch up with him. I had a crush on him when he lived closer, but I'm very happy to say that none of those feelings are there anymore. He's just a good friend. That thinks my cooking and baking skills are AMAZING. We were walking around outside and whenever we ran into someone he knew (which was like every two minutes) he would introduce me somewhat to the effect of: "Hey, this is Soozee, she's amazing." OR, "Hey, this is Soozee, she's cooks better than anyone ever. And she's awesome". It made me laugh, but there are a lot of attractive guys over by where he lives, so maybe we will have to be friends and I can meet all of his friends.
     On an entirely different note, I told George that for his birthday present I would make him anything (within reason) for his birthday. He chose burgers. I wanted to make the best burger he'd ever had in his life, because that's just how I roll. So, yesterday, I made burgers with Monteray Jack cheese INSIDE the burger. MIND BLOWING, I know. They were crazy good. AND, I am pretty sure I succeeded in making the best burger he'd ever had in his life. Except I forgot bacon. That would have made it more awesome. But that's okay. They were still HUGE and DELICIOUS. Yep, my mouth started watering at the thought of them again...oh man, they were good. 
    Its' the weekend. I love weekends. I think I will bake for a family party I'm going to tonight (which will be AWESOME!!!) and also have Christian Bale Movie Weekend: Part Deux. That will be FANTASTIC. I'm so excited. And so should you be as well.

Batman and other stuff

This was George's birthday cake. It says "I'm Batman!"

He's BATMAN!!! and awesome.

I love Batman. Have ever since I was a kid. I thought the movies got a little cheesy, the one liners got ridiculous and the guys that played Batman weren't that attractive. Bless their hearts. And then Christopher Nolan started the Dark Knight trilogy. And Christian Bale starred as the Dark Knight. Given my previous post was ridiculous, this one will dip slightly into ridiculous in that Christian Bale is totally my current 10. I spent most of last weekend watching Christian Bale movies. I own 14, and have watched pretty much all of them in the last four days. I went and saw The Dark Knight Rises with Tango last Friday and loved it. I thought it was amazing. But, I love Batman, and I love Christian Bale, so it wasn't too hard to think I might.

My friend rated him at a 4...a 4!!!! That is ridiculous!

    On an entirely unrelated note, I sat down and talked with my best friend from high school a couple weeks ago. She has a little girl that is almost 2, which is the same age as a few of my nieces and nephews. She's so cute and it was especially great to talk to my friend again. Since she got married we don't talk as often, but when we do talk its as if no time has passed at all. To me, that is a sign of a true friend. A person with whom time doesn't affect your friendship. We talked for about an hour and got all caught up with each others lives. It was good times.

mmmmmmmmm.....

    I woke up the other day and had this epiphany...Snickers cupcakes. I have my caramel cream cheese frosting recipe, which is AWESOME. and then I added peanuts and a chocolate drizzle. They actually taste like snickers!!! I made them last week after going to one of the many cupcake shops. Tango said mine were better than the one from the cupcake shop. I feel that this is promising as I want to one day open a bakery. However, you will not being seeing a snickers cupcake in my bakery, or peanut butter bars, or peanut butter cookies, or anything with nuts. Why, you may ask? Because there are several close members of my family that have severe nut allergies. My goal is to open a nut free bakery. AND, I have decided that I should just plan on one of my future children being severely allergic to nuts. It runs pretty predominately in my family, and we didn't realize. So, give me some time and you will see a nut free bakery somewhere. I also made these cupcakes last night and a couple of friends came over to watch a movie (we watched Batman Begins and tonight I'm watching The Dark Knight in preperation to go see The Dark Knight Rises again tomorrow). One of these friends is a guy...lets call him Liam, because I think he kind of looks a little like Liam Hemsworth...only shorter. Any way, it was Liam's birthday last week and so we put a candle in a cupcake and sang him Happy Birthday and told him to make a wish. He actually paused for a full minute before blowing out the candle. I like that he took the wish making serious. It was kind of cool. The downside of having a slight crush on Liam is that he's about 4 years younger than me and although I don't really have an issue with the age difference, I know that he does. Frowny face. He's a great friend, though.

 

The sparkles make it seem more dreamy.

    I also made an Andes Mint cupcake that I am calling The Andes. It is delicioso! I made a mint fudge which I put on top of the cupcake and then did a thinner layer of vanilla frosting over that. I dyed the vanilla frosting green, which mentally people assume its mint and makes ties all the flavors together. Man, I love baking. I love trying new ideas. Its HEAVENLY!!!!

    The other day my Mom was playing the piano. If you don't know my mom, then you don't know that she is an AMAZING pianist and organist. I grew up listening to her play hymns as well as many other songs. There are a few that I am very fond of and I asked her to play for me. After she finished I asked if she would let me record her playing the piano so that when I don't live close to her I will still have that small piece of home. To me, her piano playing is home. It brings such joy to my heart and peace to my soul. I love it.

Thank You Netflix

I was on Netflix the other day looking for something new to watch and they suggested this show and they thought I might give it 4 stars. So, I figured why not give it a chance...here's a quick look at the show:



I watched the one and only season in about 24 hours. Between that and Maroon 5's Overexposed album I have been dead to the world, but living it up in my own happy place!


After watching the first few episodes of Accidentally on Purpose, I decided that the main guy, Jon Foster, is super attractive. Which is funny because he has lighter colored hair and I am usually a dark hair, light colored eyes type of girl. But, he has lighter hair and brown eyes. Crazy. AND, he has scruff/a beard for most of the show which I realized I actually kind of like...well, it was pointed out to me that I like guys with facial hair.
And, I realize that tattoos are not generally the best idea and I don't normally think they look good on people, but I really like his tattoos on the show. He has three stars on this right arm as I circled in the picture. Sorry if anyone takes offense that he has no shirt on. Scandalous, I know. I'm a horrible sinner. Me and some of my friends are always rating actors and actresses on a scale from 1 to 10. I have two 10s. A realistic 10, and an unrealistic 10. The realistic 10 used to be Josh Dallas hands down, he's Prince Charming from Once Upon A Time, but I think that Jon Foster is either tied, or slightly ahead of Josh Dallas. But, give it a week and everything could change...not that any of this actually matters, I realize its all very trivial. BUT, I'm young and single and have all this "free time", so what else am I going to be doing? ha ha ha...jk.

So, going back to beginning, the other obsession I mentioned was Maroon 5's new album Overexposed. I have always liked the band since Fort introduced me to them freshman year at USU. I fell in love with the clean version of their song "Payphone" even though its really sad and about a broken relationship because if you have nothing but a payphone, clearly you've lost EVERYTHING. Any way, I got the clean version of the CD and fell absolutely in love with it!!!!! Here is a music video that I feel really covers the theme of the whole album:



and I feel that the theme is that women will rip your heart out and leave you with nothing. Poor Adam Levine, clearly he's struggling with his breakup with his Russian Victoria Secret model. I really like that you can feel/hear an emotion in the songs though. A lot of times its all the same and I like it when artists mix it up a little bit.

Any way, this was an incredibly trivial post. I hope you liked it. Probably think I'm crazy, but its all good. You can call me crazy all you want, that doesn't make it true....most of the time. :)

I quit.

I quit my second job. Hallelujah! Its is a HUGE blessing to be back down to one job!
So, summer is here, and I have been working on some really awesome projects. I am quilting two quilts that I have been putting together for a while. I will post pictures on those soon.
This is really random, but yesterday my friends and I went to dinner and I ran into Turbo. Yeah, TURBO. It was crazy. I haven't seen him in months. He gave me a hug, which I wasn't expecting. I think I might invite him to come do something with us soon. I didn't realize that I missed talking to him until I was talking to him again. I think he was surprised at how much my life has changed since we last talked. I don't think anyone ever thought I would actually leave me second job. I was starting to wonder for a while, but I did it! And it feels GLORIOUS!
     There is a lot more to be said, but I haven't the time to write it right now, so I will bid you adieu until I have time again!

Weird Dreams and RANDOM dating experience

I had a dream the other night that Fort and I were hanging out with Adam Levine (the lead singer of Maroon 5) and Andrew McMahon (the lead singer of Jack's Mannequin) and apparently we were BFFs or something because they both knew me and Fort. It was weird. and AWESOME. If it had been reality, I would have taken pictures (which I actually did do in the dream....) and post them here for you to see. BUT, since that was just a dream, I will tell you the crazy story that happened about a month ago.
    I have a friend, lets call him George (because he wishes people would call him that....long story for another time) any way, George went to Vegas for a convention referred to as CES. I heard that one of my favorite actors, Zachary Levi (from Tangled, and Chuck) was going to be in Vegas that same week, so I sent George a text asking him to please go find Zachary Levi and take a picture for me. I was only half joking because what are the odds he would actually run into Zachary Levi?
    Well, half way through one of my classes I felt my phone go off and pulled it out of my jacket pocket and saw this picture:

 

Isn't that a great way to end class? I think so! Yeah, so George actually did run into Zachary Levi and made my week. 

     And, while we are on the subject of George....I went on a date with him last week. I needed a date for a date dance at the Institute and couldn't find anyone to go with, so I asked George and because he is AWESOME he agreed to go. We went to dinner with my friends, and then headed to the dance where George (who doesn't like dances, and I knew this before I asked him to come) said something to the affect of: "What would you do if I just kidnapped you and we went and did something actually fun instead of going to the dance?" to which I replied, "You tell me before we leave for dinner so I can grab a pair of jeans so when we do something fun I can change out of a skirt" we ended up going to the dance for a few minutes and then sneaking out so my friends didn't notice and went to the movies. So, pretty much, George is one of my favorite people. Which is probably a good thing because I hang out with him and two other girls several times a week. Its fantastic. And, that is the end of the story, for now at least....