Sometimes Knights in Shining Armor are Mountain Climbers in Jeeps

It's been a while, I know. That's my bad. That's all on me. I've been busy. I've also had writer's block. And before you give me a million things I could have done to get over writer's block, I should probably explain that it wasn't a lack of story or desire that blocked me, but realizing I actually had some really serious personal issues to work through before I could wholeheartedly write. That's why I was blocked. And no amount of writing or forcing of anything was going to break through the personal struggles I am still dealing with.

But, this is not why I'm writing today. I've had a lot on my mind the last 24 hours and writing is one of the ways I express my emotions best. A friend of mine is missing. He went to climb a mountain on Wednesday night and hasn't been seen or heard from since. Granted, I haven't talked to him in about two-ish years, but let me tell you why I've been thinking about Derrik the last few days.

Derrik is an amazing person. I met him when I was in college and he was friends with one of my roommates. We lived on the third floor and he would climb up to our balcony to come for a visit. As a reward, we'd give him an otter pop. But that's not why I appreciated Derrik. One Sunday night I was baking, which I did often, and he stopped by to see my roommate who wasn't home. I was listening to a movie in the living room very loudly and the buzzer in the kitchen went off just as he knocked on the door. I opened it in passing and hollered to come in as I walked back to the kitchen to pull out a fresh batch of rolls. He walked in and asked if my roommate was home and when I told him she wasn't and offered him a roll, he sat down at our table and we talked for about an hour. Because that's who Derrik was. He was a friend to everyone and loved talking to people.

After that first encounter, he would often leave notes saying hi or bye if I wasn't around when he came by. It always made my day brighter when he stopped by. And I appreciated the times he did stop by and we chatted for a few minutes. More than once he stopped by on particularly hard days when I just needed a friend. I know that he was the answer to several prayers through a particularly rough few months.

All of this led up to my favorite memory of Derrik, though. I went to a church meeting that I was not looking forward to. It was a huge meeting for thousands of young single adult members of my church. I had seriously considered just skipping it. No one would have known I didn't go. But I felt like I should and the twenty-minute drive there was spent praying that I wouldn't have to go or that I wouldn't have to be alone.

I kept telling myself that if I couldn't easily find parking, I wouldn't stay, but then I found a perfect spot. Then I told myself that if I had to walk in alone, I would just leave, but as I said that a jeep pulled in next to my car and Derrik popped out and asked if he could walk with me. Once in the building, we parted ways and I walked into the auditorium filled as far as I could see with people. And not a single easily accessible seat. I am six feet tall and for whatever reason, I wore 3-inch heels that day. Everywhere I looked I just saw people staring at me like an idiot and I couldn't do it. So I turned around to leave and as I got out to the hallway leading to the outside doors, I ran into Derrik. He smiled at me and told me I was going to come sit with him. I really hoped he didn't see the tears that slipped from my eyes that day. I wasn't crying because for a moment I had never felt more alone. I was crying because once again Derrik had shown up just at the right time and was the exact person I needed.

And so, for all of these reasons and so many more, my heart breaks tonight for his family and his friends. This will be the third night in freezing cold weather completely alone and I wish with all of my heart that I could be the friend he needs right now. That I could be the one to help him for once. But all I can do is pray to a loving God to watch over my friend and if Derrik's life has come to an end, I pray that God will bless him for the amazing person he is. I know that my life has been blessed by knowing him and I will always be grateful for the kindness he has always shown me.

I need light in the dark as I search for THE RESOLUTION....

As the new year has started, I purposely did not make any resolutions to do better. I didn't make any promises to myself that I would some how dramatically change now that a new year has started. But as the new year has begun rolling out, I can't help but feel a sense of urgency about a few things. I can be a bit of a slacker when it comes to things like writing on my journal, ironic, I know. But, I felt like I really ought to be keeping up with things of that nature. I have an incredible story to tell. Dull at times, yes, but also very exciting. This leads me to tell you all about one of the exciting adventures I'm starting this year! But first, a music video from Jack's Mannequin that is the title of this post:

A few weeks ago I was contacted by a classmate and asked if I'd be interested in writing a screenplay for someone. I said "absolutely!" and she sent the contact information to me. I emailed this guy who is needing a script ASAP and he responded and we started talking about the project. 

Guys. This is what I've been wanting to do with my life. Writing! Real things that will be made into real movies!! How fantastic is that?! It's very exciting, but currently I'm waiting. Always waiting.

In other news, have you guys heard of a bullet journal? I'm intrigued by the concept and have thought about starting one. I have a hard enough time coming up with things to blog about....well, to find time to blog about. I come up with topics every day and most of them get filed away in the back of my mind and at first they hope that I'll pull the file out again later, but it really hasn't happened yet...one day, perhaps. But the joy of bullet journaling is that it is meant to be a quick thing that reminds you of your life, and who doesn't need that. We may not want to remember things, but we need to. They help us to remember the struggles in life. The wait before something great happens in your life. It's excruciating, but it's necessary. And I want to do better at remembering it!

I am also starting another project. Another! I was baking for the holidays, enjoying the very busy week I had had. Writing, job interviews and the like, and in the middle of Cinderella, you know, the one that came out in 2015 with Lilly James, so I'm in the middle when the princes comes running to save her in the forest and he doesn't tell her who she is and this whole fairy tale unfolded in my mind. But it wasn't the classic one I grew up with. There wasn't actual magic or a fairy godmother, per se. There was the basic details of Cinderella with a twist. It took place in Solais and is a story Ian grew up with. Then, my mind just started going at a million miles an hour with a whole series of fairy tales with a Solais twist. It's actually helping me expand the universe I started to create when I started writing LIGHTS. This is giving the whole world more depth and character. Cinderella will take place in both Solais and a neighboring kingdom that controls fire in the same manner that Solais controls light. Cool, no? It is. It is cool. And there's a masquerade and Cinderella can't stand the prince at first and he can't stand her and they fall for each other without realizing who the other is. It's brilliant. There's also ballet involved and just a wonderful wonderful story that I can not wait to tell you about!!

And then, while I was binge watching some Hallmark movies, because I am sha
melessly addicted to them, I was watching one and this guy keeps popping up in them and I found him intriguing and so I went to find all of the hallmark movies he's in. Because I have, like, all of them. I wish I was joking, but I'm not. And I watched, like, four hallmark movies that he's in. I'm pretty sure that I want him to be a prince in one of my stories. Because everything I write, I write as if it were going to be made into a movie. Often when I describe a character, I am describing an actual person that I would like to portray that character at some point. And I would LOVE to have both Andrew Walker (the guy from all the hallmark movies) and Blake Lively in one of my fairy tales. And Anna Kendrick. I could go on and on. But I'll leave you with this very rough beginning to Cinderella:

There are always things that must be. The sun setting in the west. Hour follows hour and each day leads to the next. And just as there are things that must be, there are people that are destined to follow paths they never thought they could.

Once, a long time ago, there was a beautiful girl named Ethne. She had followed her dreams as far as she could and had achieved her greatest goal of starring in a real ballet company production. She was set to play the lead role in the New York City Ballet company's production of Firebird. She would be the firebird! She could not believe her luck! She practiced every day, all day. She gave her heart and soul for the opportunity and just days before opening night she found a ring box tucked away in a box filled with her mother's things. Her mother, sadly, had died when she was a girl. It had been years since she had even looked at the box, let alone opened it up. The hinges creaked as she gently lifted the lid to reveal a rather unusual ring. It had a celtic eternity knot around the band that entwined at the top holding a fiercely red ruby at the pinnacle of the ring. Ethne felt a pull coming from the ring and took it out of it's box and slid it gently on to her right index finger. It fit perfectly. As soon as the ring was in place, though, Ethne noticed things around her start to change. The setting sun through the window seemed to be brighter, and it almost looked like the sun was on fire, but that would be ridiculous. The sun couldn't be on fire. At least, not this close to where Ethne was. Or could it? Ethne glanced around the room, frantic for an explanation, but there wasn't one. Her lamp on the bedside table seemed to also grow in brightness until the room was consumed in a brightness that caused Ethne to cover her eyes.

She noticed the smell of the earth first, then as the brightness faded, she heard the sound of a bird singing as it flew overhead. It was a sound unlike any bird she had heard before. And there was a musical tone to the trees. Ethne opened her eyes and found herself no longer in her room, but in a very unusual forest. She gasped as she took in the view around her. The trees were taller and wider than any tree she'd ever seen. Not even the Redwoods she'd seen last summer could compare. And the silver veins that ran through the trunks was breathtaking and beautiful. A breeze danced around her and she noticed the tinkling sound of silver. She looked up into the branches of the trees and noticed that even the veins of the green leaves were silver.

Where have I gone to? She thought to herself, and before she could answer herself she heard someone running through the trees and then rush to a stop. A young man stood before her. His silverish gray eyes caught her attention first. Then his sandy blonde hair with the smallest hint of scruff on his face. He looked at her in amazement and she couldn't help but feel her expression must be similar to his.

Like I said, ROUGH rough draft. But, It's a start. So, there's still some other exciting stuff happening, but I can't tell you about it just yet. So, in the mean time, listen to this song. It aptly sums up how I feel about life right now. It's called So Close and it's from Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness and he wrote it last year when he felt like all of these amazing things were just around the corner.

He said it's that moment when you feel like everything is either going to work out or fall apart and you're so close to amazing things happening. That's how I feel. I'm so close to either finally moving forward with my life or having everything fall apart. And either way, it's going to be an amazing journey. I can't wait. I'm so excited for everything that's going on in my life right now. Even if I am just kind of waiting to see what pans out. It's finding joy in the journey, you know? So close.