Conversations with God

Have you ever just realized that you feel truly alone and like no one really cares. I mean obviously your family cares, but you still feel alone, like no one really understands what you are going through? And then have you ever felt the reassurance from someone you can't see with your eyes, but you can feel with your heart? Have you ever felt like someone was right there next to you with their arm around you, or their hands on your shoulders telling you everything is going to be okay?

Lately I have been talking to God like all the time. I don't think He gets annoyed with me. At least if He does, He doesn't say anything. I absolutely love talking to God. I do it all day long because He's always there. Which makes me feel special because although I know He's way busy running worlds without end, He finds time to talk to me.
I was driving back to work the other day and I was listening to the Fray's new song that I have now mentioned in my last 3 blogs, sorry about that, any way, I was listening to it and the first verse goes:

"I found God on the corner of first and Amistad,
where the west was all but won,
All alone, smokin his last cigarette
I said "where you been?"
He said "Ask anything."
Where were you when everything was falling apart?
All my days spent by the telephone,
never rang, all I needed was a call
on the corner of first and Amistad
Lost and insecure
You found me
You found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you?
Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me
You found me"

Okay, so I heard the first few lines and me being the little sarcastic punk that I can be said "Yeah, Heavenly Father, where were you when everything was falling apart?" referring to my really crappy last couple of months and without hesitation, I had the answer there in my mind. "I was right there next to you every step of the way. I have never left your side. I will always be there for you." It was pretty neat. One of those "WHOA" experiences when you feel like Moses after he saw the burning bush and realize that God not only knows your name, but everything that's going on in your life too...Oh, not to mention He cares about you and the choices you make in your life.

So, like I said, I've been talking to God a lot lately which has been awesome. But I was feeling really unsure about a few things and I wanted to give up on a few things and I just keep feeling like I shouldn't even though everything tells me I should, I feel like God is telling me not to just yet and that the timing isn't right yet. Have you ever felt like that? Like you know what you're supposed to do and as much as you would like to take a step towards it now, the timing isn't right and God tells you "not yet"? That's how I feel right now. For the first time since my mission I have really felt the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost like all the time. Not that I'm a bad person, I just don't live the life of a missionary anymore and so I haven't been constantly asking God if I am on the right street or talking to the right person and all that. I honestly didn't think I would feel the spirit this strong all the time like I have been lately. And at the same time I feel the doubt and depression that satan tries to push on me. Telling me I'm not good enough, I'm not doing enough, I'll never achieve my goals, I'll never be worth anything and if I didn't have God with me, I know I would listen to those other thoughts. I feel like something big is about to happen and it kinda scares me a little bit, but I feel confident that my Father in Heaven will guide me to the correct choice.

Oh, this is gonna be good...

So, Nat tagged me with this tag, and I am a little excited to do it, I'll be honest.

Okay, the first one:

TV Actor: I'm going to have to go with Chad Michael Murray...I love One Tree Hill and not just because its filmed in North Carolina. I think he's so good looking!




My runner up is Milo Ventimiligia who I also saw first on the WB long before Heroes, he was on Gilmore Girls as Jess, and at first I hated his character but in the end, he was the only one I wanted Rory to end up with...and she didn't. I was mad.









For Movie Actor: I picked Daniel Craig...not only can he pull of the fighting and the shooting and the awesomeness that is James Bond, he can also pull off a beard without looking weird. That takes talent sometimes. Plus I love the darker hair with the blue eyes, which he has...

My runner up for that one was Orlando Bloom simply because I thought he was the hottest actor for YEARS and then I went on my mission and came back and I don't know what happened...But he is still pretty! I actually got this poster from my room mate my freshman year of college and it hung on my wall up until my mission, but I do still have it!


Okay, my Classic Actor is: Cary Grant. I love Cary Grant, and think he was pretty good looking back in the day, plus most of his movies are HILARIOUS! One of my all time favorite movies is Arsenic and Old Lace...I just love that movie!




And my runner up is James Dean mostly because he pulled off the faux hawk look long before the faux hawk was popular. You could say he started the trend...


Moving on to Music Artist: None other than Adam Levine from Maroon 5...PRETTY. Plus, did I mention his amazing hair? I mean he has the perfect hair, I often compare how good a guys hair is to his. Even when he shaves most of his hair off he looks good. That is a hard thing to do!

And my runner up is: Jason Wade from Lifehouse. I have mentioned his near perfect hair before too. Jason started out his musical career with longer hair, and I'm really not the biggest fan of guys with longer hair...most of them just can't pull it off.



And last but not least, Opposite Sex Actress: This was a tough one for me...there are a lot of good looking actresses out there, and since I can't judge them by their hair or eyes, it made it more difficult. However, I ended up picking one that I really like and I think she's pretty. I love Reese Witherspoon, so she was my first pick. My best friend Jen once cut her hair like Reese's on Sweet Home Alabama and it looked so cute!

My runner up is Gwenyth Paltrow who I loved in Emma as well as Iron Man. I love her long hair and wish my hair looked that good!


So there you have it, my list of current hotties! Really, this list could be like forever long and I really had to narrow it down which was hard because there are a lot of HOTTIES out there. Maybe I'll update it at some later date!

Oh, PS: Go check out this song from THE FRAY, my FAVORITE band...their new CD comes out for my birthday!!! Its called "You Found Me" and I am totally in love with it!!!

Story Time

"You can lie to me, you can hate me, you can tell me anything you want; but you and I both know its a lie. We both know that nothing will ever truly come between us." The memory was burned into my head; I could still hear Luke's voice as I looked in the mirror and saw the most beautiful bride...a bride that was not about to marry her true love. - Elizabeth

Okay, so when I was waiting for forever in the stupid line to see Twilight on Thursday night-I seriously underestimated how die hard the twi hards are- I had my notebook and pen in hand and this scene for my book just came together. And then today I was listening to the new single from The Fray, who is my favorite band, and another scene came together. Any way, I thought I'd share a little bit from it. Any way, here it is:

The stars gleamed brightly down through the gossamer tents adding a sparkle that could not have been planned better. The meadow was lit by torches all around us whose shadows danced across the ground and left the feeling of centuries past. The silver and midnight blue-my sister's colors of choice- seemed to bring heaven and earth together, tying the moonlight and sky to the ground bringing heaven to us for a moment. I was sitting at a table with my friends admiring my sister, the bride, and her soon to be husband. They looked exquisitely happy, and as I saw them look into each others eyes; you could almost see into the eternity they were starting together. I was happy for Emily, I knew that she would be so happy with Ben...happier than I had any hope of experiencing. I was already betrothed to Joshua Smith. I had no hope of ever finding true love.
Joshua was quite the catch at first glance. If I hadn't known him my whole life, I might think differently of him. People noticed when he walked into a room, with his jet black hair and dark brown eyes that pierced you to the core when he looked at you. He towered over most people standing at 6' 7"; he even towered over me in stilettos which doesn't happen often. We did look good together...really good...a power couple. He almost seemed to expect, if not demand, your respect whether you knew him or not. I preferred a much more subtle presences that was just as, if not more, powerful in its own way. Joshua loved to be feared when I loved to be adored. By now I had lived through 23 years of heads turning whenever I entered a room. I would always catch people doing a double take of me when walking down the street. It was just part of being me. It was the same with Emily, none of us were surprised that she was getting married young, she had just turned 19 a few weeks ago. There was much less expected of her in comparison to me. I was expected to keep the traditions of our family-at any cost.
"Elizabeth....hey...." Kathryn was snapping her fingers in front of my eyes, "Hey chica, come back to us....Joshua is walking this way." Oh great, I thought, just the person I wanted to see...
"Sorry," I said now fully back in reality, "I was just thinking." I was really hoping they wouldn't ask me what had me so distracted. No one knew that I wasn't head over heels in love with Joshua. No one knew I kept dreaming of someone else; someone tall with sandy blonde hair and a very strong build. The only part of his face that I could remember were his eyes...one was green, and one was blue.
"Hey beautiful," Joshua leaned down and kissed my cheek quickly and then sitting beside me taking my hand in his.
"Hey Joshua" I said, trying to hide anything that might seem suspicious from my thoughts might lead to questions I really didn't want to answer. I didn't try to take my hand back, though I really didn't want him holding it. I had learned to just ignore any sign of affection he gave me...it was easier that way.
"Oh, great, perfect timing, Joshua! The dinner is about to start!" Kathryn said enthusiastically. As my father stood to greet everyone to my sister's rehearsal dinner, I looked around to see if I could see anyone I could talk to later to escape my current table. And then I saw him. He hurried in from the back, camera in hand, taking pictures of the front table where the rest of my family sat.
"Who is that?" Kathryn asked, and I watched her gaze follow the photographer as he silently moved to capture every angle. No one at the table had ever seen him, which didn't surprise me because he was, after all, the hired help. We rarely associated with them...we were above that.

A Tag...

This looked like fun, and minimal thinking, so I thought I'd do it, thanks Kar!

TYPE ONLY 1 WORD.


1. Where is your cell phone? Pocket


2. Your significant other? Missing


3. Your hair? Growing


4. Your mother? Nice


5. Your father? Hilarious


6. Your favorite thing? Books


7. Your dream last night? Logan


8. Your favorite drink? Sunkist


9. Your dream/goal? Writer


10. The room you're in? Big


11. Your fear? Snakes


12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Away


13. Where were you last night? School


14. What you're not? Normal


15. Muffins? Chocolate


16. One of your wish list items? camera


17. Where you grew up? Spanish Fork


18. The last thing you did? work


19. What are you wearing? Twilight


20. Your TV? Big


21. Your pet? imaginary


22. Your computer? addiction


23. Your life? BORING


24. Your mood? Content


25. Missing someone? Sure...


26. Your car? WORKS!!!


27. Something you're not wearing? bracelet


28. Favorite Store? Borders


29. Your summer? Fun


30. Your favorite color? Purple


31. When is the last time you laughed? Lunch


32. Last time you cried? Tuesday

FOUR PLACES I GO OVER AND OVER: Work, Maceys, School, Home


FOUR PEOPLE WHO E-MAIL ME: Rachel, Sandy, Jennifer, Sis. Stires

FOUR OF MY FAVORITE FOODS: Pizza, Alfredo, Chocolate, Chicken

Another week in paradise...

Okay, not really a week in paradise...I've just been working this week. Same as always. I haven't talked to cute photographer boy, but we are friends on Facebook, which is also how I found out he has a blog for his photography. He's a good photographer...not that I doubted that before, I just hadn't seen any of his work.
Any way, I'm going to the Twilight midnight showing tomorrow with Fort, its going to be so much fun! I'm excited. Changing the subject completely...I was talking to Jen and Zac the other day and I told them I was going back up to USU because I don't really have a lot of friends here, and most importantly because I feel its what I should do, and Heavenly Father gave me the okay to go. Any way, Zac looked at me like I'd just slapped him in the face and said "Suzy, we are your friends, you can still hang out with us." I guess I could, if I liked awkward situations...okay, it actually isn't awkward around them, they are very cool, especially for being newlyweds and all. But, they are married and I am not and as much fun as it would be, its not helping me out any...unless they invite cute boys over for me to hang out with...but then you get into the whole setting me up thing which I am actually not the biggest fan of....so, I think I will just avoid it all together. So, I said "Yeah, I know we're all friends, but when its a Friday night and I want to go find cute boys, I can't take Jen with me anymore...she's already got her boy...so I'm moving back to Logan" and they agreed that it would probably be a good move for me.

Fun Weekend

So, I went up to Logan this weekend, but I stayed in Centerville on Friday and Saturday nights at a friends house. We went and saw Quantum of Solace on Friday night...it was a way good! Then on Saturday Fort and I went up to Logan. She and I both have a bunch of friends still up there from when we were there freshman year, so we planned on going to the hockey game with them, it was very fun, but dissapointing too because USU got CREAMED by Eastern Washington. It was like 1 to 8....SOOOO sad. And, cute photographer boy was going to try and come, but ended up stuck at the library working on a group project all night...so, Saturday was a little dissapointing, but that's okay. It was fun to hang out with my friends up there any way!

Utah State, hey Aggies all the way!

So, I have this friend that goes to Utah State,his name is Kris. He's like my best friend, we consider each other brother and sister. He has been trying to convince me to go back to USU since I got home from my mission and I keep telling him that God told me no. Here's the funny thing with me and God...He has been known to tell me no at first, and then tell me that is what I should do.
Well, I have been wanting to go back to USU, especially when I went up there for my brother's graduation in the spring. I miss it up there so much! So, I've been thinking about it a lot lately and I was praying about it the other day telling God how much my life really stinks right now and how I have no friends and I really don't like my job. So, I asked Him if I could go to USU next fall because I could live in an apartment with people my age and make new friends and have fun. And He said I could! HOORAY!!! So, the plan is that next fall I will be going back to USU! I am so excited. And this time I will have a car that actually works, and I am probably going to get a job at Maceys next semester and through the summer so I can super save up money to get me on my feet up there! YAY! I am SOO excited!

The Rest of the Story

So sorry this is so stinkin' long, I didn't mean for that to happen, but it's good, I promise!

Should I go talk to him or not? No, I should let him come talk to me, and if he never does than its all good...obviously he's not worth talking to. He is pretty cute, though. I should at least say hi and talk to him for a minute...but I'm such a wimp...no I won't go talk to him...

Okay, so I think I might have blogged about this in minor detail like forever ago. So, I used to work with this girl and she had this dream that I met someone in November and got engaged, and the wedding was supposed to be in February. I laughed. Oh, I laughed hard and told her it would never happen. EVER. Then she said "Hey, isn't your friend getting married in November? Maybe you'll meet him there". I continued to laugh and told her that if that were to ever happen, she'd be the first to know.

Here's a music video from the Fray while you breathe for a minute and don't get sick of my super long story....B, you will appreciate this one:




So, let us fast forward to my friends wedding. Friday night was the dinner, instead of in between the wedding and the reception. It was beautiful. I got there early and was chillin' with Jen's sisters. I'm practically a member of their family, so I was right at home. This guy walks in and he looks like one of Barbie's little sister's boyfriends. NO JOKE. It was kind of funny. So, we were joking about that for a while and I thought he was kind of cute, but nothing beyond that. So Jen and Zac made everyone introduce themselves and say how you know them and what not and this guy is a friend of Zac's and is taking the pictures for him. Oh, and his dad teaches at my old high school, and has taught there for FOREVER. My oldest brother had him for drivers ed.
So, I talk to him for like a minute when he comes around taking pictures of everyone that was there and then I take off to go help finish setting up for the reception at a church up in Provo. So, I go have fun and get home at about 1:00 AM and go straight to bed because I have to get to the temple by 9:30. It shouldn't be hard to get up and be to the temple by 9:30AM, but apparently I am just that special. I woke up at 9:40 AM. The sealing was at 10:00 AM. There was no way I was going to make it. So I get ready really quick because I am not going to miss seeing Jen at the temple. I was pretty much in tears most of the way there. I don't know how I could possibly miss my best friends wedding! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? About half way there, I was thinking about the dream I'd had the night before. I had this dream with Edward from Twilight and Zac Efron in it, and this photographer guy...it was so strange. Any way, I get there and we wait. I'm kinda looking for the photographer because now I want to see him since I had a dream with him in it...he's kinda on my mind now, and I don't see him. I'm pretty sure he's supposed to be there, since he's the photographer and all.
Well, we go out and Jen and Zac come out and there's the photographer. He looked good. He was wearing jeans (hence why he wasn't waiting in the waiting area with the rest of the wedding party) and so we take some pictures and then I head home until the reception. I'm going to skip the boring parts, but pretty much I kinda felt like he was watching me-not in a stalkerish way- but you know how when someone notices you, but they don't want you to notice them noticing you? Yeah, that kind of thing. So, the whole reception I am trying to decide if I should go talk to him. B thinks he has the chicken voice bad...ha ha ha, I don't do well talking to guys I think are cute. So, I was standing there and he comes up and is like "So, what are you up to?" and I ask "What do you mean?" And he says "School, work, what are you up to?" and that was the begining of our conversation that lasted quite a while...I don't even really know how long we stood there talking, but it was awhile. He goes to USU (My other most favorite place EVER!) and has been home from his mission for about a year and a half. And the reason he wasn't in the temple was because he forgot his reccomend in Logan, so he couldn't go. So I still felt bad, but not as bad knowing that I wasn't the only one who had to miss it. He seems like a way cool guy.
So, after our conversation a couple of my friends who were helping in the kitchen come up to me and say "Ooooh! We saw you talking to cute photographer boy! That's it, you are going to catch Jen's boquet and you're going to marry him!" and I laughed because that's what I do when people say impossible things to me. and I said "Yeah right. Its not going to happen" and I walked away.

Pause and watch this lovely video before you want to shoot me for writing a freaking novel!


Let us fast forward to the end of the reception, Jen is going to throw the boquet, and to make it more fair she's throwing it off the balcony down to us single girls down below. Yeah, it came right at me, I couldn't help but catch it. So, I caught the boquet which started a whole new round of taunts that I was going to marry this guy I just barely met. It will be interesting to see what happens, I guess.
Oh, BTW, I'm going up to Logan to hang out with him this weekend. Me and Fort have needed a good excuse to go up, so I'm going to go hang out with cute photographer boy!

My Best Friends Wedding, Part 2

Okay, so I posted about a month ago about my best friend Craig getting married, well my other best friend got married yesterday. I was one of the bridesmaids, and it was really a lot of fun! Here are some pictures:


The Bride and Groom, Jen and Zac
Here are the other Bridesmaids..I didn't actually get a good shot of me...their photographer did though, so maybe one day I will let you see what I looked like...I looked good, BTW. Here is cute Denise

And then Natalie


And Melanie. I was the only one not actually related to Jen, although we have convinced many people on many occasions that we are sisters


And here is me and Jen. We have been BFF since high school, so like 7 years now, and this is the 2nd picture we have ever taken of the two of us...crazy, huh!



I took this picture when people were out decorating the car, so obviously we were not involved in the mayhem that occured

If you couldn't tell from our bridesmaid outfits, Jen's colors were black and hot pink, so Jen opted to show her colors by wearing really cute hot pink shoes:

She had some hot pink high heels too, but they got quite uncomfortable fast, so she got these too.
This is Jen and the cute photographer, chillin




Here is Jen's reaction to the car's new "decorations"

Here is a few pics of the car:

Finally a good news Wednesday!!

So, the last three Wednesdays have been less than pleasant, but thank goodness that today was really quite a fabulous day! I went to work and had TONS to do, which was GREAT! And then I got an e-mail from the girls at the other plant and they wanted me to stop by, so I did and they told me that the other plant went to a 32 hour work week, so if I hadn't switched plants I'd only be getting 32 hours a week! Ouch! So, I am grateful I have a good job!
Then, I went to class today and didn't completely fail my history test I had last week! YAY! I mean I got like a B-, C+ on it, but that is TONS better than the F I thought I was getting! AND then on top of that, I thought I was going to have to try and squeeze a quiz for history in there too, but my teacher told us today that there is no quiz at the testing center! YAY!!!! Which means I just have my test in Spanish tomorrow and then its Jen's wedding this weekend! YAY! Its going to be a busy, but fun weekend. I will try and take a ton of pictures for y'all and include them on here!

And for your viewing pleasure, the music video for Paramore's new song for Twilight, its called Decode. I think its a pretty good song! Check it out!

Paramore - New Music - More Music Videos

High School Musical Weekend

You know, my brother B has gotten me into a lot of things. Like Smashing Pumpkins...didn't like them until he introduced me to their music, now they are one of the favs. Um, lets see, what else...U2, superhero shows like Heroes, Smallville, stuff like that. Well there's a lot of them and when I first got home from my mission one of the first things he made me do was watch the movie High School Musical. I didn't really think it was all that cool at the time, but I have since watched it again, as well as the second and third one and I have to say, they aren't all that bad. In fact, I dare say that I like them. Any way, so I went to see High School Musical 3 with my niece and it was tons of fun. I fell in love with one of the songs and it has been put on the rather long list of songs that will be played at my wedding reception. Here it is:



I love how dramatic everything is in those movies. Like when Gabriella decides to quit at the country club in HSM 2 and she's breaking up with Troy...my favorite part of that song is when Troy comes running after her and is like almost crying because she's not going to be working there anymore...ha ha ha, its really funny because they work in the same town as they live, so its not like they'll never see each other again. Any way, here is that song:



However, my absolute most favorite parts to laugh at are the super teen angsty songs brought to us by Zac Efron in both HSM 2 and 3...check out his awesome teen angst dance moves from HSM 2:



So yeah, if you haven't checked them out, its worth the laughs. They really are quite funny. Nothing like actual high school...at least none that I've heard of.