Come What May

I'm sure you've all heard the song from Moulin Rouge, Come What May...I LOVE this song. Absolutely love it. I have loved it since I heard it when I was living back in Logan. With everything that has been going on in my life I have been looking back a lot at the times I spent there. I LOVED living in Logan. I had great friends there and good times. That's part of why I want to move back. But that song has stuck with me. Come what may...such a great theme for life. In fact, I read another blog about it here. She is also doing a giveaway for an adorable necklace. Any way, I was reading that blog post and trying not to break down because today has just been hard. And not even the whole day, just since I was getting ready for work.
    The one friend I was afraid to lose I feel like I've lost. The one thing that has been constant is fading away. I am so happy for so many of my friends that have great things happening in their lives. So many joyous blessings are going all around to everyone...everyone except me, I feel. I feel like I am stuck in this stupid rut and I can't get out. I can't move forward, and its killing me. I am trying to be patient, I am trying to focus on the good things in my life (because there really are many). But right now I still feel like I'm failing at life, and it sucks.
    So, reading that post kind of reminded me why I keep doing what I do. I just need to keep having faith and trusting in my truly amazing Heavenly Father who knows far better than I do the benefits of the trials and experiences I am having. I know He has great things in store for me, I just have to be patient. Come what may, because as long as I keep my faith strong, I will never face anything alone.

Is it spring yet??? I am so annoyed with the snow!!

I was going to post all my annoyances and frustrations with working in customer service, but that is such an unpleasant topic that I don't like to deal with even when I have to because that is what I get paid to do.

A few weeks ago on Masterpiece Theater they did a mini series version of "Emma" which isn't my favorite Jane Austen story, but one that I do like. Well, I watched it with my brother and his wife and fell in love with it!!! Oh my gosh, I LOVED LOVED LOVED this version of it. I do also like the Gwenyth Paltrow/ Jeremy Northam version. If you mixed the two, it would be the perfect version of the story. I actually got the DVD for my birthday, and upon watching it again, I discovered that on TV they had cut some of the scenes, which I find interesting since some of them were kind of important tidbits of information that complete the story. But, that's okay because I have it on DVD and can watch it in its entirety anytime I want *smiley face*.

I went to Salt Lake to go to Fiddler on the Roof with my brother last night. It was really quite good. I was impressed. It was done by the Hale Center Theater which I had never been to. It was fun and I was glad to spend some time with my brother.

Sometimes the Hardest Thing and the Right Thing Are the Same

Ever feel like you are living below the potential you know you are capable of? So, you set goals and make plans to do better and it seems like you are totally sucking at that too, and then one day you look back and you realize that you have been working as hard as you possibly can towards these goals that seemed impossible, and even though you may not have reached them, you are a lot farther than you thought you were. And then you feel hope and you keep going, and you try harder and harder and become better and better. Yeah, that's kind of how I feel right now, only I'm not really at the better and better part yet. I feel like I am finally making progress though. I feel like I am actually accomplishing things and that I am becoming a better person. I LOVE IT!!!
    I am currently reviewing the goals I have set for myself, looking at the ones I have accomplished, and setting new ones, or adjusting the ones I didn't quite make to do better. It is amazing how great it feels when you see progress. It lights a fire within me to set more goals and keep moving forward.

A Weight Being Lifted

So, I don't know if you noticed from my apparently "cryptic" posts previously, but I've been going through some interesting times lately. I really can't go into specifics, not just because I don't want to talk about who they are generally involving, but also because there literally aren't actual words to describe what I am feeling.
   I go through phases of hating life, to tolerating it, to almost loving it. I'm one of those people that thinks that if just "such and such" would happen, then I will be perfectly happy and life will be amazing. However, "such and such" never really happens, and even if it did, I don't think I would be perfectly happy. There are always ups and downs.
    However, about a week ago all of this crap that had been on my mind started to ease and although I am not free of the worry and fear that I was facing, it is much more at ease and I have a much better grip on reality, and my life in general. It is such a good feeling to feel the hand of the Lord on your shoulder telling you to calm down, that He is in control and all that He asks of you is to do your best. He isn't asking for miracles to be performed on our own, but He is willing to help us make miracles happen. I just pray for them when I need them most.
     I have been trying my best to be as close to the Lord as I can lately, and although I have my days when I am sure He just shakes His head at me, I feel a lot closer to Him. That was one thing I struggled with when I came home from my mission...I didn't feel as close to my Savior as I did out on the mission. Which is bound to happen since I was no longer worrying and focusing on others, I was now focusing on myself. I still feel like I am adjusting at times, and I will probably feel like this the rest of my life. Trying to find the balance.
   I'm sorry if this doesn't make any sense at all, its just me rambling on and on and on....

PS: Nat, you would be proud of my organization efforts in my room. Pictures to follow soon!!

Happy Birthday to ME!!!!!

Because this blog is written only by me and about me, you get to hear all about ME all the time. I'm so sorry for all of you!!!
    Any way, it was my birthday yesterday and I had so much fun with my friends! I did not end up going ice fishing, which I confess was kind of nice because then I got to sleep in, which was absolutely fantasticly wonderful!!! My amazing sister-in-law made my cake for me as a gift which I am forever grateful for. She is always looking out for me and doing amazing things for me! I love her and my brother (and their kids) to death!!! They are AMAZING (ha ha, I totally just gave you a shout out ;).
    Any way, here is the cake before we lit it on fire:

when I was in Logan the last time and planning everything out with Tex (since his birthday is the day before mine) I mentioned it would be a dragon cake and he asked if it was Albi the Racist Dragon...and if you don't know who Albi is, here is a clip for you to explain the jelly bean tears:

I picked the one with the animation to give you a better visual.
Here is a picture once we lit the candles:

 

don't those flames just look amazing??

Here are a few other random shots of the people and the party for you:

 

Me, Tex, and the cake. He seriously can't keep a straight face if a camera is around. There are 2 blue candles, and 5 pink ones to make 25 since we both turned 25.

 

Fort, who happens to be one of my BEST friends, ever. 

 

Elen and Emily, good friends from work and my mission. Also amazing people. THE END.

Tex was just a little excited to try the cake...actually he really just wanted to eat one of the wings made out of fruit roll ups. They were quite delicious....yum!!!!

All in all, it was a fantastic day and I had so much fun with my family, and my friends!! I'm not excited to be 25, but I am excited to start this new chapter in my life.

Welcome, Welcome, Sabbath Morning!!

So, I got kicked out of my ward last week...yet again. I have decided that either I am so amazing that the Lord can't keep me in just one spot for very long. I've got to share my *amazing* personality with as many people as possible. Or, the other thought is that nobody wants me, so they just keep shifting me back and forth. Either way, I will be a good little girl and go to whichever ward I am assigned. Who knows what the Lord has in store for me.
    It was nice to go back to the ward I was originally in before all this shifty buisness. Everyone was quite excited to see me and it is always nice to be welcome to a new ward. I have been thinking a lot about the gospel and my life in general. I am quite grateful for the blessings the Lord has given me. There have been struggles, but with each set of struggles has come the most amazing blessings. I have been blessed with the best family, and the most amazing friends. Each person that I has truly come into my life has both taught me something, and helped me become a better person.
    I am still working on some new goals, and thanks to some friends and family I have been making some good progress. One of those goals has been to go to the temple more often and I am so grateful I have set this goal. I LOVE the temple and all the peace that I feel when I am there.