Sort of...maybe...

Okay, I have to be quick quick before I go to work today. Actually, I still have like a half hour before I HAVE to go get ready. I hate Monday shifts, unless they are short and they give me a break until Friday, like today. I work until 8 and then I don't work again until a short shift on Friday. HOORAY!!!
   Any way, this weekend I had the house all to myself. It was weird. Usually being home alone at night freaks me out because I have a super overactive imagination and I end up staying awake all night because I'm freaked out about what could happen while I sleep since I'm the only one there, but this time I was totally fine. I slept VERY well both nights and enjoyed the silence of an empty house. Except, I forgot to turn the outside lights on when I went to work on Saturday night so when I got home super late it was super dark. But don't worry, no one tried to get me. And even if they had, I would have karate chopped them or something cool like that.
     I made some more cards with my favorite sister ever on Friday night. It was awesome. She and I have very similar personalities so when we both get really tired and loopy, the possibilities are endless. But it was great to spend some time with her. She makes me laugh.
     I also made cards with my sister in law on Sunday night, I am a card making addict lately, as previously mentioned in my last post. It was so much fun! I made the most adorable cards that I will post pictures of later. SO adorable!!
     I watched my first ever episode of Dancing With The Stars the other day. I confess it was only because my coworker told me to (and I don't usually do what she tells me to, but Evan Lysachek was on, and I like him, so I wanted to see it.) I don't think its a show I will watch often, if ever again. I get weekly updates from my coworkers, but apparently Evan's dancing last week was super amazing. It was just dancing to me. Maybe because I'm not a dancer. I still maintain that if you're going to get a gold medal olympian to be on a show about dancing, I think you should get like a skier or something, not someone who trains for hours and hours and hours dancing on ICE. I'm just sayin...he's a shoe in for winning. I don't think he's gotten a bad score all season.
    I didn't plan on talking about that, but moving on, the creative juices have been flowing a lot lately and I have been writing a lot more lately. I always really really want to write when I'm headed to work where I can't write and I get frustrated and then I get annoyed and then my coworkers steer clear because I am not in a mood to be trifled with.
    I am going to go see the new Robin Hood movie this week, I think. I've heard that all the critics hated it, which means that I will probably LOVE it. That's what usually happens. I will let you know what I thought after I see it.
    I have been playing 3 songs on repeat for 2 weeks now. "It Is What It Is" by Lifehouse, "One" by U2, and "Breakeven" by The Script. Songs I could live my life by...maybe...sort of....
    I finally got caught up on GLEE...oh my gosh that show makes me laugh. Glee Quote of the Week: "I'm like Tinkerbell, Fin, I nee applause to live!" - Rachel. Ha ha ha ha ha ha....LOVE IT!!!!!
    Any way, have a great week...I'll check in again soon. PS: Anyone who follows LOST, its over, how do you feel about that? I have only heard bits and pieces about it, but I heard it was crazy/awesome...what are your thoughts?

Addicted

This is a post about my latest addictions.

 My friends Elen and Thomas decided I should watch this anime show called Fruits Basket...ever heard of it? I LOVE it!!! Its a great show! There is some cursing, but for some reason it doesn't bother me like cursing usually does. I mean there are no f-bombs or anything that serious, but still some minor cursing. Elen was worried I'd be offended by it or something, but no. Its a great show and I think everyone should watch it. Unless you don't really like anime...then I wouldn't force you to watch it or anything.

 Another addiction, card making. I have talked about this previously...but seriously its like a drug. I can't get enough of it!!! One of the smaller overpriced scrapbook stores is going out of buisness and I have been able to pick up some killer deals on scrapbook stuff so I can make even more cards!!! I'm sure you can imagine my excitment. So, I will continue to watch Sam Worthington movies and make the most adorable cards ever. Its going to be fantastic!!!!

    The Script. I am totally ADDICTED. I'm like a little kid with TONS of candy when it comes to their music. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE the song Breakeven. Its my favorite. I listened to it for 3 days on repeat last week. I do that on occasion. It drives people insane, and I'm sure I should care...but I don't. If you don't know who The Script is, shame on you and ask me about them. I will be more than happy to play a line or two for you because I have their music on my phone, Ipod, etc...

    Books. I freaking love books. The more I read them the more I want to finish Changing Tyde. I freaking love Jason Tyde and want everyone else to love him as much as I do...which I don't think will ever be possible, but you never know. He is pretty amazing. My friend Tex was making fun of me the other day because I have a lot of young adult books. I like them. They are a quick read and I also had to point out my vast collection of the classics. Just because you've seen P&P doesn't mean you know Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth, or Jane Austen's world. Go read a few classics and then look at the world...its a whole different place if you're looking for it.

     Outside. ADDICTED to being outside. And lately I want to run/walk/jog in it. A-MAZING!!! I love it!!! Plus today it was like 70 degrees or something outside. Ah spring, I have missed you! Remember how we used to be all BFF and everything, and then you let it SNOW on me in MAY!!! What the heck!?!?!?! But, if you come back now, no hard feelings and we can be BFF again.

     Weekends. I took last Saturday off. It as amazing. I loved it. I went to Salt Lake and spent it with my friends. I miss having real weekends. I wish I didn't have to work in the deli so much, but one day I will be free of it and will have my weekends back and it will be GLORIOUS!!!!

     Roasting marshmallows indoors. Its so much fun! I was at Elen and Thomas's house and we roasted marshmallows over their stove and then made this delicious smore-ness that was to die for. I loved it!!

    Lisa Mangum books. The Hourglass Door and The Golden Spiral. A-freakin-MAZING!!!! Can't wait for the 3rd and final book that comes out next spring...I know, I know, a whole year away, but its going to rock. Lisa Mangum is actually doing a book signing in AF in June. I think I'm going to go and meet her. That would be fun. Then I can get my books signed too. That would rock. But if you haven't read her books yet, come find me and I will let you borrow my copy. Such good books. I'm totally ADDICTED.

Okay, that's enough for now. I hope you had fun at the small glimpse into my latest springtime addictions!!! YAY!!!

Storytime!!!

I have to hurry because I am headed to work, but here's a blip of what I've been working on. Also, I will have you know that I went on a walk today, and a jog on Wednesday. I feel GREAT!! I feel like I am accomplishing something....any way, here is a blip from Changing Tyde. Kyla has just gotten home from school and its her first time back since the accident and everything, she and Jason kept in touch while she was at school and made plans for the day she got home, so here you go, hope you enjoy! OH, and the mention of Park City is earlier in the story, Jason was there and Kyla went to see him one weekend and they ended up kind of arguing a little about Brooke, but worked things out...just an FYI in case you wonder while reading...

I was so glad to be home, I don’t think I had ever missed it quite as much as I had this last semester. I don’t know how long I just sat in my room and looked at everything. As always it was just as I had left it. It never changed. I looked at the pictures that were still taped to the mirror and looked down at the dresser, and there it was. I had almost forgotten about it completely. Jake’s ring. I gently lifted the lid of the little black box, and there it shined as if it had never been on my finger, as if it had never been the symbol of promises that nothing on this Earth could end up giving me. I pulled it out of the box and sat on the edge of my bed. How things had changed. I remembered putting it in this box and leaving it here so I wouldn’t remember the lost hopes and dreams I associated with it. I remembered Jake, how he used to infuriate me, how I fell so madly in love with him. I remembered every part of his face, the dimples on his cheeks that appeared when he smiled, the way he looked at me, and only me. I knew when he looked at me that nothing else mattered to him, that I was everything to him. I missed feeling like that. I was so lost in thought that I didn’t hear my phone go off several times, or the calls from downstairs that someone was at the door for me, I didn’t hear anything until there was a knock on my bedroom door and a familiar voice, “Kyla, can I come in?” Immediately I was brought back to reality. Jason was here. I put the ring back in the box and walked to the door opening it. There he stood, leaning against the door frame.

            “I thought I was going to have to break down the door if you hadn’t answered. So, are you still up for dinner and a movie at my place?” There was happy go lucky Jason again. I had missed him. I was worried that things had changed after Park City and that I had ruined the one friend who could relate to me.

            “Yeah, sorry,” I looked down at the box still in my hand. I quickly walked over to the dresser and replaced it to its place out of sight, and hopefully out of mind. Picking up my bag I noticed Jason’s eye was still on the box. I gently prodded him down the hall as I shut my door. I knew he wanted to ask about it, but thought better of it. It was my turn to be honest with him this time. We were almost to his Ferrari when I finally spoke.

            “It was Jake’s ring…in the little box I had in my hand. I forgot I still had it. I didn’t have the heart to sell it, but I didn’t want it in Utah reminding me of what I was supposed to have. So I left it here and found it.”

            “Ky, you don’t have to talk about-“ he started to speak, but I cut him off

            “No, Jason, its okay. You are the one person I feel like understands me right now. I have spent so much time moarning his loss, I have forgotten to live my own. I miss him, and I think part of me always will…but its time for me to move on. So, with you as my witness I will actually say yes to the next guy that asks me out.” Jason laughed as he turned on the the highway and headed to his beach house.

            “Really? Even if its some drunk on the street, you’re still going to say yes? And is this a new thing, you will always say yes to whomever asks you out? I mean that’s a pretty serious commitment, friend” He had that sparkle in the corner of his eye that lit up his whole face and made smile, I absolutely loved Jason when he was laid back like this.

            “Okay, not like that, but I am going to go out with the next guy that is honest and good and actually wants to take me on a date. Not my looks, not out of pity, but honestly the next guy that actually wants to get to know me I will say yes.”

            “Good luck finding him”

            “He exists” I confess, I was really kind of hoping it was Jason. Not that I was like planning the wedding or anything, but I would love to get to know Jason better. We had made a good start, but it was all through e-mail and text, nothing face to face and yet he was like my best friend.

            “So when are we going to go out then?” He asked pulling me out of my thoughts and laying a golden opportunity in front of me.

            “I thought that’s what tonight was, just not in so many words…I mean dinner and a movie is classic date material. And, I didn’t even know you cooked, so bonus points for that.”

            He laughed even harder than before. “You assume I cook. Did you forget who I am? I have a chef on speed dial. The day I cook, is the day you should either run for cover or know something is up. I don’t generally cook, it’s better that way.”

            “So what is the plan for tonight?” I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face, but his smirk was staying in place too.

            “Well, since this is a date, which I am glad to hear it is. I was thinking dinner in the dining room that overlooks the ocean, a walk on the beach during sunset and then a really awesome movie like Casino Royale or something like that…what do you say?”

            My stomach tightened and I tried not to let the mention of Jake’s first date with me show on my face, but it did. Just calm down, Ky. Jason didn’t know, don’t let tonight get ruined because you’re freaking out about Jake. He’s gone. This is you moving on, remember?

            “What is it Ky? Not a Bond fan? I thought most chicks liked Daniel Craig as the new Bond. I mean we can watch whatever, I don’t care, I was just trying to not make it all cheesy by watching a chick flick and making it sound like one of my movies or something.” He reached over with his free hand and put it on my shoulder. The second his hand touched me, I instantly relaxed. Jason was always the cure when I started freaking out about memories of Jake. Heat spread from my shoulder throughout my body and I took a deep breath and relaxed exhailing slowly.

            “No, lets watch something else. I have Jake memories attached to James Bond, sorry, but what about Terminator Salvation? I LOVE that movie!” I glanced over and Jason just shook his head and laughed.

            “What?”
            “Nothing”

            “Whatever” was all I could think to respond with as we pulled into his driveway and I waited patiently for him to come and open my door since I remembered a conversation we had had about how girls today are too independent to let a guy be a gentleman, so even though it killed me, I waited and he opened the door offering me his hand.

       We walked around the back were there was a candle light dinner waiting at a perfectly set table for two.

            “Wow, someone was hopeful” I said, smiling. Of all the people I wanted to spend time with, Jason was at the top of the list. Not because he was Jason Tyde the movie star, but because he was one of the few people I knew I could count on and who really understood me. He wasn’t just playing a role, he was real with me, and I was really starting to like that about him.

Goals

Today I will change. On May 11, 2011 (exactly one year from today) I will look back to today and see how much I have accomplished, because I WILL change so many things. Here are a few of the goals I am working on right now:

I WILL work out at least 3 times a week, and I mean serious want to die from being pushed so hard work outs.
I WILL run a 10K next year with my brother
I WILL save up enough money to move out AND quit Maceys
I WILL meet new people
I WILL be incredibly social this summer and spend as much time as I can with a whole variety of people
I WILL organize all my scrapbook stuff so it is more accessible
I WILL finish my manuscript this summer
I WILL read at least one non fiction, and one fiction book a month-hopefully more, but we'll see
I WILL become the person I have always wanted to be, but too scared to step out and be in front of others.

I am so excited to work on these goals. Today I actually felt like going for a run...that's never happened that I am aware of...but it was too dark and rainy by the time I got off, and I was mad. SO, tomorrow I am going for a run, and it will be a fabulous kick in the face! I'm kind of excited.

This summer WILL rock and everything is going to change and its going to be super hard, but I know it will be worth it!!! HOORAY!!!!

Domestic Godessness

Okay, so my good friend (lets call her Emmy) has requested that I post pictures of my recent card making extravaganza.  It was TONS of fun and I had a lot of fun. I have found that I can't just listen to music, or to books on tape...I have to be doing something, and since I am determined to make a concerted effort to do nice things for people I felt using my domestic godessness in the card making area would be a good fit.

    I must confess, though, that I didn't just listen to music. For those of you on Facebook that are friends with me, my status for like a week was, "Suzy had a great card making day while watching Sam Worthington movies...days can't really get much better than that." which is a true statement. I hear a few of you wondering, who is Sam Worthington? Well, let me tell you. If Jason Tyde were a real person, he'd look like Sam Worthington...no joke...as I mentioned previously, he's got the build, the face structure, the crisp ocean blue eyes, the short dark hair...I couldn't have described Jason more perfectly if I had known who Sam Worthington was when I first wrote about Jason. He's only been in 3 really big American movies, and they are: Terminator Salvation, Avatar, and Clash of the Titans. All 3 of which I have seen in the recent past, as I mentioned in a previous post. Apparently, Sam Worthington movies inspire my best card making efforts because I made some of the cutest cards I have ever made (in my opinion) while watching Avatar...and can I say that it is a much more entertaining movie if you are not actually paying strict attention to it, but making cards instead.
     Any way, enough about movie stars and cards...lets talk about something else...I talked to AHG today. I have been talking to him on and off lately and its been fun. He was mentioning how he doesn't understand why relationships never work with him and why he keeps getting dumped even though he's doing everything he can to be the perfect boyfriend. I was very blunt with him and told him it was the girls he dates and the fact that he doesn't let people do things for him, he's all about serving others (which is good, don't get me wrong) but I think you also need to be willing to let someone serve you too. Just a thought. He was surprised by my honesty. He mentioned today how grateful he was that he and I are just friends and we both know exactly how the other one feels about our friendship. I don't remember what I said, but I was surprised he had mentioned it at all. I don't know what to think of him...I mean I don't have feelings for him outside of friendship anymore, which is good, but it was just weird.
    Any way, I need to go to bed so I can wake up in the morning and start another amazing day in the life of ME!!!!
OH! PS: I finished The Golden Spiral, which is the sequel to The Hourglass Door, which I loved. I LOVED both of them!!! Oh my gosh, however, if you don't handle cliff hangers well, I wouldn't recommend reading them until next year when the 3rd and final book comes out, but I have thoroughly enjoyed both of them!!