Realization

So...this month has been FREAKING me out. I have been so nervous/anxious/worried about November for a couple of months now. For references about why I am so anxious about November, check here, or here, or here....yeah, just a peachy time for me! I realize the month isn't over, and that really I'm just half way through it, but I came to this realization today that I felt I wanted to share. Actually, its been a long time coming...about a year. Last year after my accident, when I said it was a new horizon, I had NO IDEA how true that statement was. Within the first six months of this year I switched wards, was determined to make new friends, got new friends that told everyone else how amazing I am and then got even more friends, got a new calling, went back to school, and have focused each day on being a little more positive.
     Don't get me wrong, its been a tough year, but it has also been so rewarding. I used to let people use me. I used to always be the instigator in friendships, I used to care so much about what other people thought of me. I used to have no self esteem. The list could go on and on and on, but that's not what is important. What is important is who I am now.
      Did you know that I am an amazing person? I don't say that to be arrogant or prideful, but its something I have just discovered. I am a really good cook. I am very creative. I can create amazing things that people stare at in awe. I have never had this happen until recently. I don't look in the mirror and hate what I see anymore. I see a strong independent woman that had goals and ambitions for life. I see a woman who doesn't wait for a friend to invite her to go do something knowing full well they never will. I refuse to be the instigator in a friendship. If you don't want to invite me to go do stuff from time to time, then I don't have time for you either. I don't think this is asking too much. A couple of weeks ago I was contemplating a few friendships that I wasn't sure about. I was frustrated, and didn't feel like these "friends" of mine actually cared about me. So, I did a little test. I deleted them out of my phone and off of facebook just to see how long it would take for them to notice that I had taken a step back completely. And you know what...none of them have noticed. And I haven't wasted my time and talents on friends that say they care, but don't actually do anything to prove it. Do I sound mean and harsh? I'm not trying to be, I have just realized that I am worth so much more than I have previously given myself credit for.
      I have let Satan into my mind far too often. I have listened too many times when he has told me that I am worthless and a loser. I am neither worthless or a loser and I know that now. I know who I am, and I deserve so much more than I thought I could settle for. I have put all my trust in my Heavenly Father, and He has never let me down. I have given Him my heart, and it hasn't been broken since. I know that He will guide me to where I need to be. I am so grateful for Him, and for His gospel. It is true, and amazing, and I love it!

The Right Place at the Right Time

Tonight, I had the opportunity of being in the right place at exactly the right time. It was amazing. I didn't want to go to ward prayer...I wanted to stay home and watch this weeks episode of Sherlock, but I felt like I should go. So, I did. And I ended up talking to a friend, which made my night, and I know that this friend needed someone tonight. It was amazing.I love how much Heavenly Father looks out for each of us. Its absolutely AMAZING. I love Sundays. I love the gospel. I love my Savior.

Sherlock

I just watched this newer updated version of Sherlock Holmes currently playing on Masterpiece Mystery. I loved it. Here is a scene from the first episode just after Dr. Watson meets Sherlock. I LOVE IT!!!!

Watch the full episode. See more Masterpiece.

Update!

So, if I don't write often over the next couple months its because I am writing a freakishly large quantity of papers for my English class. I can't really complain because I LOVE to write, but it does take a lot of time to write the specific types of papers on specific topics. Its all in good learning, I suppose.
     So, I am taking this Book of Mormon class, which is fantastic! I love it! I am learning soooo much! I love the gospel of Jesus Christ! SOOOOO amazing! I went to the temple last week and had this truly great experience. I just love our Heavenly Father's plan for each of us. Even when I am going crazy with impatience, He is always there to guide me through life and reminds me constantly that He is in control and will help me at exactly the time I need help.
    At this moment, I am watching The Scarlet Pimpernel. I LOVE that movie. You should watch it. SERIOUSLY. K, more to write! Have a great week all!

I'm okay, and do you know why? Because Heavenly Father loves me and wants me to be happy!

Its true, you know. Heavenly Father loves all of us and wants us to be happy. That's why, sometimes, he gives us REALLY REALLY hard things to work through. So...I mentioned last time that I used to be a hermit. I am doing better at socializing more, and being an outgoing person. I used to love hugs and somehow I stopped liking to hug people, but lately its come back and I love to be an outgoing, hug-y person again. Its kind of fun!
     I am in school this semester, just taking a couple of classes and learning a lot! Its amazing! I love school! I also love that my teachers don't believe in quizzes and tests other than the final! This is great because attendance is required, so I go to class, participate in the discussions, learn a ton, and don't have to cram and study for hours and hours before a test! HOORAY! Don't talk to me around finals week, though...that's going to be crazy!
     I'm meeting a lot of new people in school this semester, which is so much fun! I love meeting new people! Its the greatest thing ever!I know this is where I am supposed to be right now, which is the best feeling in the world, I love it!
    In Institute today (I'm taking a Book of Mormon class) we were talking about faith, and we got this quote, which is AMAZING...here it is:

"There are two kinds of faith. One of them functions ordinarily in the life of every soul. It is the kind of faith born by experience; it gives us certainty that a new day will dawn, that spring will come, that growth will take place. It is the kind of faith that relates us with confidence to that which is scheduled to happen...There is another kind of faith, rare indeed. This is the kind of faith that causes things to happen. It is the kind of faith that is worthy and prepared and unyielding, and it calls forth things that otherwise would not be. It is the kind of faith that moves people. It is the kind of faith that sometimes moves things. Few men possess it. It comes by gradual growth.It is a marvelous, even a transcendent power, a power as real and as invisible as electricity. Directed and channeled, it has great effect."
-Pres. Boyd K. Packer

isn't faith AMAZING? I read that and thought "wow...I need to work on my faith!" 

Any way, I hope you all have a FABULOUS week!!!

A Cake of EPIC Proportions

I think I have outdone myself this time. It did take Emily to accomplish this one, though. The two of us command a kitchen like a captain commands a ship. We decided we should have a cooking show on Food Network...it would be awesome and hilarious, and oh the deliciousness! Any way, here is the cake we made last Thursday:

yes, those are chocolate covered strawberries on top, and yes those are pirouette cookies on top. EPIC, and I hate that term. Then, yesterday, we decided to try making a cupcake version of the above, and this is how it turned out:

Mmmmmmm.....yummy....inside there is a custard made from scratch, and the frosting is a whipped cream frosting that is heavenly and delicious. I have actually been asked to do this cake for the top of a wedding cake for a friend of mine. SCARY! But, with Emily's help we can conquer anything! Hooray!!!


And hey, while you are at it, see if you can spot me in this music video:

Emotional State of Things

The past few weeks have been a freaking roller coaster for me, emotionally. I felt like I was on the mission again, super high highs, and super low lows...but, I think my life is finally calming down and I am starting to look forward to the changes that are bound to be headed my way. One of those changes: a new calling in the Relief Society Presidency in my ward. What position you ask? Oh yeah, the one I always get...secretary! Hooray! At least I already have experience with that one. I am excited to work with this new presidency, it will be a good opportunity to get to know more people and really become a more outgoing person like I used to be.
    Somehow along the last 2 years I really kind of became a hermit and kept to myself mostly. I think I came out a little bit in the last ward I was in, but really I haven't been as crazy or adventurous as I used to be. I am coming back, and it feels great, and is completely terrifying at the same time. I am going to try my hardest to go back to school this semester, which I realize classes already started, but I want to go to school this semester and hopefully I can meet some cool new people. I'm praying for a miracle to happen in my life, and have good faith that it will. Why? You ask...well because my Heavenly Father LOVES me and wants me to be happy. And because some things are just worth the wait...they just are.