Lucky, lucky people!!

Yes, I am talking about you...you should feel lucky, because I am actually posting twice in one day, and I'm not waiting like a month between posts! Here is the latest rewrite from my book, let me know what you think. Its a break up, and this is like the 4th rewrite, but I actually think I might like this one...maybe... and I'm sorry its a little lengthy...

The cherry red Ferrari was still in the drive way, which was a good sign. I wasn’t sure what Jason had planned for tonight, he had wanted it to be a surprise, but oh how the surprise would be on him this time. I thought about putting it off, but I was supposed to be leaving for Utah in a couple days…I needed to do this now. I opened the door and walked in knowing that Jason wouldn’t mind if I did. I put my purse on the couch in the living room and walked towards the kitchen. It smelled wonderful. I had never known Jason to cook, but if it tasted as good as it smelled than he had seriously been holding out on me. He met me at the doorway to the kitchen and kissed me.
“I was about to come get you…am I running late?” We were still standing close together which on any other night would have been not only normal, but welcomed…but tonight I just wanted to say what needed to be said and be gone. I couldn’t withstand his charm forever. I took a step back and looked at my watch.
“No, I decided to come by early. I hope that’s okay.”
“That’s just fine. I thought I would surprise you with my hidden talents tonight, starting with cooking.” He took my hand and we headed into the kitchen. Everything looked so delicious too.
“Wow, Jace, I didn’t know you could cook. I am really impressed.” He looked so pleased with himself and so happy. I took a seat at the counter on a stool while he continued moving about the kitchen preparing dinner. I thought about just breaking it to him now, that things were over, that I was going back to Utah alone and that I didn’t want him to follow me out there. That every moment of happiness either of us had experienced in the last 9 months was all for nothing because I wanted out; but I was still trying to figure out how to say it in a nice way.
I stared out his huge glass windows looking out over the beach while I thought. It was a full moon that lit the whole perfectly clear sky. There were a few stars that sparkled and shined. I didn’t hear Jason come stand behind me, “Beautiful isn’t it?” he asked. I turned to look up at him as he wrapped his arms around me. He looked great tonight, and seemed happier now than any other time I’d seen him; of course this would be the day I am supposed to rip his heart out.
“It’s amazing out here. I love it.” I tried to keep my focus and not let myself get swept up in the moment and forget the task I had at hand; how do you tell someone you love that you can’t be with them anymore? He took my hand and started leading me towards the beach, “Come on” he said, “Lets go for a walk. Dinner will still be a few minutes.” At first we walked hand in hand, and then he put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer. That anxious and nervous feeling was there in the pit of my stomach, and I knew it wouldn’t really go away until I did what I knew I had to do. I had to convince Jason to let me go. I didn’t want to do it, but I knew I had to. It was the only way to keep Brooke out of his life, and mine.
After several minutes, Jason noticed the silence, “Ky, are you okay?” we stopped and he turned to face me. I was looking down at my feet pretty sure I might cry if I looked at him. Be brave, Kyla, you can do this.
I took a deep breath and then began, “Jason, these last few months have been fantastic, really they have, but I think its time we both face reality and see that this relationship isn’t going to work.” I forced myself to look at his face. Yep, the pain I saw when we first met was starting to creep its way back in. He was fighting it, though. I could tell.
“Ky, what are you talking about? Of course this can work. Where is this coming from?” He replied in a very gentle and slightly confused tone.
“We are from two completely different worlds, as much as we want to pretend you and I belong together in the end we will both end up hurt. I can’t do this anymore, I can’t pretend that being with you would ever be a normal relationship. You’re Jason Tyde, after all and no matter how much you try to hide, the world will always come to find you. As long as you are in movies, they will demand to be as much a part of your life as I ever was. I can’t be in your world, and I told you that when we first met.” I wanted to add an , Oh, PS: you’re ex wife also said she’d make me out to be a harlot in all the national magazines if I didn’t play her stupid little game, but I knew that then he’d go after Brooke and he didn’t need anymore stress when it came to her. But I wasn’t lying when I said that as long as he was in movies he’d never be free of the world; and that was a part of our relationship that I always struggled with…but I think I could have overcome it, if I had to.
“Kyla, I don’t understand. I thought things were going good. I bought a house in Utah so we could still be together. When did all this happen?” The pain was winning, and I hated hurting him. He really did mean so much to me. Just get through this and leave, I thought to myself.
“It’s kind of always been here, I tried to convince myself I could accept it, I could be with you because you really aren’t the movie star you used to be. You have changed so much since I met you, but part of you will always belong to the life you had before I came along. I can’t pretend its not there. I know we made plans, but that was when I thought I could handle everything, and I can’t. So, this is where we say good bye and I hope everything goes well for you. I think I will always love you, but right now that’s not enough.” I turned to walk back to his house so I could leave. He didn’t say anything for a few minutes; in fact the whole walk back was silent. I walked across the back porch and into the house before him. I walked into the kitchen and then I saw the small wooden box sitting on the edge of the table. I didn’t have to open it to know what it was. I picked it up against my better judgment and opened the small box and saw the sparkling diamond ring inside. I was stunned and frozen in place.
“I was going to surprise you with it tonight, but you beat me to the surprise ” I know he didn’t mean for it to be a hurtful statement, nor did it sound hurtful, but it ripped at my heart a little bit. Knowing how much we loved each other and I was walking away from it. He continued,
“Kyla, let me just say one thing before you go.” He walked over to me and took my hand in his. “You have shown me how much good there truly is in the world. You have shown me a whole new way to live. I am a better person because of you. I may not understand why you feel we can’t be together, but I will always love you and one day you’ll realize that. I’ll still be here waiting for you when that day comes.” He kissed me softly and quickly. As he pulled away I saw something new in his eyes, and in his countenance. It gave me hope that he’d be okay after I left.
“Good bye, Jason” was all I could really say. I grabbed my purse off the couch and walked out the front door without looking back.

Ha ha ha ha ha

About a year ago, my best friend, Fort, let me borrow this DVD of this guy that is supposedly really hilarious. It took me a year to watch, and really I watched because she came down and watched it with me.....but I have to say, it was HILARIOUS. His name is Demetri Martin and we were all dying of laughter. Here are a couple of clips for your viewing pleasure:



Here's another one:



And one more, just for kicks:

So, not a whole lot has been going on lately. I had the biggest crush on this guy, but have since decided that I'm sick and tired of liking guys that don't see me like that, so I am trying really hard to ignore liking him more than a friend, because he is an amazing friend.

I went and saw the movie the Proposal last weekend, and generally it was pretty good. Other than the naked part, I really liked it.
It was quite funny after the movie because I've seen the main guy, Ryan Reynolds in a few different movies now and Fort and I were talking about him and I said, "You know what, I think Ryan is the new Orlando" and her jaw dropped. For those of you that haven't known me for years and years; during my freshman year of college, Orlando Bloom was my most favorite actor EVER. I didn't think there was anyone better looking or cooler than him. My room mate even bought me an Orlando Bloom poster that hung on my wall until I went on my mission 3 years later. So yeah, Fort couldn't believe that after 6 years I was replacing Orlando Bloom with Ryan Reynolds, but there it is.

I didn't die, I promise

I am still alive. I haven't forgotten I have a blog, I just haven't known exactly what to say. Lots has been going on, I have been hanging out with a bunch of my friends and having a blast. I went and saw KEANE live a few weeks ago, which was fantastic!!
I have hung out with AHG several times and I haven't seen NNG at all...crazy, huh. Oh, speaking of ward friends... I got kicked out of my ward 2 weeks ago. NO JOKE. I have to go to the singles ward in which I actually reside. Sad day. But, it was funny because I was sad about it at first until the Lord helped me realize that I had accomplished all that I was supposed to do in that ward and that I needed to move on. So, I am moving on and going to a ward that is a fraction of the size of the one I was attending. They decided to enforce the boundaries since they were contemplating splitting the ward...and since half the ward doesn't actually live in the boundaries of the ward, they felt this was the best option. But, that's okay. I will have fun in my new ward.
Um...I only failed one of my classes! YAY! I failed Biology (B and Rich, no mocking or commenting on that one!!) I was talking to a good friend of mine who happens to be a biology major and he said that I had a really crappy teacher and to take it from someone else if I take it again. So, I will probably take it in the fall and get a much better grade!!