This is the story of a boy

Once upon a time, and several years ago, I was a young freshman at Utah State University. It was my first adventure out on my own. I met many new people and gained great new friends. I took a Chemistry class at 7AM that I hardly went to, though if I knew then what I knew now, I would have probably gone every time and made sure I looked super cute too. You see, there was a boy in that class. Let's call him Logan (because that's where I met him. In the city of Logan. seems fitting), any way, Logan was in my Chemistry class. He's tall, taller than me. He used to play basketball I think (or I'm making that up because it would totally fit). I first thought he was stuck up because he didn't really talk to a lot of people, however, I learned that he is actually just a really quiet guy. He has blonde hair and really nice eyes, though I don't remember what color they are. He would talk to me every once in a while, just say hi ask how I was and stuff like that. And then, after that class I moved back home. I visited Logan quite a bit though because I still had friends and family up there. Every once in a while I'd still run in to Logan and he would always stop and say hi. It kind of made me happy because he's a really attractive guy.
    Now, let's fast forward nearly ten years. I hadn't seen or talked to Logan in probably 8 or so years. I think he went on a mission (again, I could be making that up because I just don't really know) and then I went on my mission (which I am positive happened. I was there for that one) and then I stayed in the greatness of Happy Valley and finally went back to school and worked on a career path that I am still working on today. So, around Halloween time I was at FHE. I saw this guy across the gym that I could have sworn looked exactly like Logan. But what would he be doing here? So, naturally, I pulled up Facebook on my phone and stalked Logan's profile to see if it was really him. I was fairly certain it was, but I didn't really think he'd remember me. I went to the side of the gym he was on and was standing there with some friends when he stops talking to the posse of girls around him and says, "hey Soozee! How are you doing?" ...........um........hi? I almost died. But I kept it together and talked to him. for like a second and then my words were gone. I thought he'd gotten married, but after a little bit of facebook stalking, I realized that I had just assumed he'd gotten married, and here he was in the other singles ward that meets in the same building as me. what are the odds? Seriously.
      K, so I didn't see him for a couple more months and at the combined ward Christmas party I finally got the guts to go talk to him. We talked for a while and just caught up on what we'd been up to since our Freshman year of college (he got a Bachelors and Masters degree from USU) and then that was it. In between each encounter I was going to post something but then figured it would all amount to nothing and would be a waste of everyone's time.
      So now I'm sure you're wondering what has come over me that I am posting all of this now? Well, now it's a longer story and I feel it is more worth your time. Also, because there is one last update to this story. I was sick last weekend, but when Monday came around I still had to go to work and all that. By Monday I was feeling a lot better and decided to go to FHE since I am the new co-chair and everything. I didn't even know what the activity was, but I went any way. It was dodgeball. I am horrible at dodgeball when I'm not sick. So, I kind of watched from the sidelines. And then I saw Logan, so I went and said hi, talked to him for a minute and then he joined in the next game to play.
     I was standing off to the side by a wall, but still in the gym where the game was going on. I was just watching away when I got smacked in the face with a dodgeball. I looked up to see who had hit me, and there stood Logan half way across the gym looking mortified. I started laughing. He mouthed an apology across the gym and the game continued and I didn't think much more of it. At the end of the game when everyone was done playing about 20 minutes later, Logan came up to me and kept apologizing. It was really pretty funny. And this now leads me to my last point, and the real reason this post exists. After FHE, I was talking to Tango and we were talking about plans for my birthday next week. I didn't have any set plans, but I kind of wanted to invite Logan. I am sure my chances are slim to none, but he is such a cool guy that would it really kill me to at least invite him? SO, I did it. I invited him to come have cake and ice cream next week with me and my friends for my birthday. I haven't heard back from him, so I don't know if he's going to come or not, but at least I invited him. And the worst that could happen is he'll tell me now and I'll move on. Bu I was brave and I invited him to come! I will keep you all posted, but I'm not getting my hopes up.

1/1/13...that's a lot of 1s

Oh my gosh, I'm so tired. I hit 4 different parties last night. Got home around 3, slept in a bit and I am still thinking that is NEVER happening again. Too much running around. BUT, it was great to see so many people! I also saw a really fantastic fireworks show put on by my pyro of a brother. He was like a little kid on Christmas morning. Okay, maybe not THAT excited, but I know he had fun, and I had fun watching them all go off.
    Christmas was amazing! It was just super great! I got some really awesome presents and got to spend time with my amazing family. Also, I thought my car had died, but it didn't!!!! That was STUPENDOUS!! A quick fix and my good little Logan car is back on his feet!...or tires?? But yeah, he's fine and I'm back to the freedom having a car permits.
     It's 2013. That's crazy. I enter this new year with high hopes and hopefully big plans. School, of course, is part of that plan. I also want to finish either Lights, or Changing Tyde. Either one would be fabulous. I'd like to get the ball rolling on that whole dream. I also am kind of hoping Dean Carmichael shows up sometime. That would be amazing. BUT, he might not come this year, or ever (and I can hear the protests about me being young and all that....) I know that when I turn 28 in about a month doesn't make me that old, and there is definitely still hope that I will get married, but it might not happen, and if it doesn't, I'm still going to have an AMAZING life. Focused on the goals I have regardless of my marital status.
    A good friend of mine blogged about Plan A and Plan B and starting to focus on Plan B because Plan A doesn't look like it's going to work out and how hard it is to give up on the plan you really wanted for one you just set aside in case. I have felt this way MANY times. And I love this dear friend so much!!
    One thing I love about last summer was that I spent the summer focusing on me and what I really wanted in life and I set goals and plans that I like to call my Plan AB. I am going to accomplish these plans and goals whether or not Dean comes around. He might be super busy right now, and maybe he died in the war in heaven, you know? I can't spend the rest of my life wishing him here, because that obviously doesn't work. ha ha.
    But, it is hard at times when it seems everyone who had even the slightest possibility of a relationship is now engaged. A couple of weeks ago every day Facebook informed me of a different friend that had just gotten engaged. I really started to avoid social networking for a while. This next year is going to be really awesome, or really really depressing. I think I'll go back to avoiding wedding receptions. Sometimes, it's just easier that way.
    Now that I have successfully brought down the mood of my blog....Um, I have been working a lot on LIGHTS lately and I fall more and more in love with those characters the more I write them into existence. Ian and Emma are such amazing and beautiful people. They are both such strong fighters, which is good because I am going to put them through quite the journey. I can see that story turning into a series, which will be awesome. I am so excited. I stay up late and write sometimes. I can't help it!!! I love it so much!!!!

I am a horrible person. And apparently I don't care about people. I started watching Maroon 5's new video for the song Daylight because they had done this whole project and had people submit videos, so I was intrigued to how they put it together. Maybe I watch too much TV with people's sob stories, but between every verse and chorus they have people tell about their lives and their problems. I watched maybe a minute and a half and turned it off because I wanted to tell many of the people to stop feeling sorry for themselves and go out and do something with their lives!!! (see, I'm a HORRIBLE person!) And I know that life can be hard, we all go through our hard times, I think I'm just tired of hearing other people's sob stories. Maybe I should go be a hermit for a while and then when I go back out into the world I'll have more compassion for others....or something.

    On a completely different note: I picked up my cross stitching skills again, which I haven't used in like 10 years. I used to be pretty good at it, but somewhere along the way I put it aside and forgot about it. Then, I saw this pattern for Thor and the other Avengers and thought it would be awesome. So, I got a few patterns to feed my nerdiness and started one....here's a pick of it:
isn't it sooooo cute! It's the 10th Doctor (David Tennant) from Doctor Who!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 I can hear some of you sighing and maybe even scrolling down the page....I'm a *little* obsessed, I know. I LOVE the show. But, I did already mention that I'm a horrible person, so that should be worse than a nerdy obsession. And speaking of the good Doctor, I am all caught up on the show, including the current Doctor, Matt Smith, and I think that I am going to be best friends with him one day.  I think he's going to be my ridiculous friend that I do crazy (but not too crazy) things with and we'll be those friends that have tons of inside jokes because crazy stuff always happens to us. Yeah, that's going to be me and Matt Smith. ALSO, he is EXACTLY the same height as me. That's kind of weird and cool.

On an entirely different note: I'm a paper away from being completely done with this semester!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!! I am soooooo glad about that! This has been a very hard semester and I am just so glad that it's done and over with!!! Hallelujah!!!!

And, because I love you, here's another bedtime story with David Tennant!!! Because he is awesome AND it's a Christmas story:

A moment of gratitude

I talk about my feelings sometimes. BUT, most of the time I try to keep them to myself. You know, the ones that hurt, the ones that are hard to deal with. I don't like people to know how weak I really am. I don't like people to think I can't do things on my own. So, I joke and I pretend that I'm all right when sometimes I am really falling apart inside. Last week I had a few of those days. It wasn't any one thing in particular, and I know that some people reading this will be surprised because they saw me last week and everything was fine. For the most part it was fine, and I have an AMAZING family that I love dearly. They make hard days better. They help me through difficult days just by being in my life. I really couldn't ask for a better family than the one that I have. Any way, I was with some friends on Saturday night and we were having so much fun and I had put the stresses and concerns and overwhelming fears that had been plaguing me all week to the back of my mind. I was there to have fun. Liam had said he was coming when he got off work and so I sent him a text to see if he was still planning on coming. I didn't think much of it because he isn't very quick on responding. We all had a great time and at around midnight everyone went home I talked to my friend that was hosting the party and while I was talking to her Liam responded. He'd been unable to text me back all night and finally had a moment to. He'd forgotten about the party (which really isn't a surprise...he's kind of forgetful). I have to explain something about Liam, he's one of those people that has to get the last text in. No matter what I text him, he will always ALWAYS text me back. So, I told him not to worry about feeling bad (because he mentioned how sorry he was) and figured we were done, but he text me back and so we kept talking and he asked me how my Thanksgiving was. I told him it was fun, but the week had been really emotionally stressful and I was glad it was over. I have no idea why I told him this. I'm still a little baffled by my complete honesty with him. ESPECIALLY because he's a fixer. He wants to fix things when he knows/thinks something is wrong. And I just gave him the perfect opening to an "are you okay? What can I do to help" text, which I promptly did receive. I told him I would be fine and that I would be much better in two weeks (when finals are done and I am free for a few weeks!!). He asked if I was sure, and I said that I was. Then, Sunday came and although I saw him at church, I didn't get to talk to him until after church. We were talking with a group of mutual friends and I figured he'd forgotten about the texts I'd sent the previous night, but when he left he gave everyone a high five, and after high fiving me, he then gave me a hug and asked if there was anything at all he could do for me. I almost started crying...which has been happening a lot lately. Any way, I told him I would be fine and I could tell he wasn't convinced, but we both went home. Fast forward to ward prayer. I'm in charge of ward prayer with one of my friends. We have a lot of fun together, and she and I were talking when Liam came up. He was leaving and wanted to say goodbye. We walked outside and stood there talking to him for a few minutes. A few other people came out and joined an when he left he again gave everyone high fives and then gave me a hug again. This time he told me everything would work out and I'd be fine and to trust in the Lord. After he left, my friend and I were talking and she mentioned that a few people had commented to her how they wish they had a friendship with Liam like I do. I have known for a while that he and I were good friends, but I didn't realize it was that noticeable to those around us. I am so grateful for Liam. He has been such a great and amazing friend. He has reminded me time and time again that there are great guys out there. They do exist and I need to be patient and wait for my amazing guy to show up in my own life. He has been hope when I've had none. He has become one of my best friends, which is hilarious because I have been more brutally honest with him than I have ever been with any other guy. And at the end of the day, I know that if I ever did need something, I really could call Liam and he'd be there to help me. And for that, I am eternally grateful. We all need friends we can count on.

Does anybody read this anymore?

I have no idea if people still read this blog. I've been horrible at writing, and for that I apologize. BUT, I recently discovered this author. Her name is Jenni James. She's actually a friend of a friend and her books are pretty fantastic. I have several copies of many of them. Any way, she's got another book coming out in her Jane Austen series, Emmalee, and since she spelled Emmalee's name the same as my fake British assistant, I couldn't help but LOVE the snippet I have read of it. Here is a link to her blog that has a give away for Emmalee. You should go enter...actually, don't because I want to win. ha ha ha.

...and for your reading pleasure...

I know its been a while since I posted...November...what can I say? Its always a rough month! Any way, I had this idea for a story a while back and have been playing with it. In the first chapter the main character, Emmalee, meets this intriguing guy named Ian. Here is what she first sees: I had never seen anyone quite like him. There was an air about him that pulled me in. He was charismatic without speaking. He was twenty feet away and I couldn't comprehend anything beyond this moment. He was tall, at least 6' 2". He had sandy blonde hair that was organized chaos. His green eyes caught every fleck of light which made them shine so brightly. The only thing that could have been brighter was his smile. It was a knowing, teasing smile that was like a magnet. His clothing was well fitted. From his white with a blue pin stripe running down it to his well tailored khakis. He had rolled up the long sleeves of his shirt which I generally would have scoffed at, but he made it look so good. On his right hand he wore a ring. At first it looked simple, but I noticed it was catching each fleck of light around as his hand moved. It had the strangest effect on me; I wanted to see it more closely. His watch also caught the same light from his left wrist. It's definitely a work in progress, but hopefully you caught a glimpse of him. I love Ian. He's so awesome. He's got so much mystery about him that you're always wanting to know more and more about him, but he won't tell you. It's a secret. And Emmalee is a dancer. A really really good dancer. She does ballet. She's ridiculously good at it. And then she meets Ian and her whole world changes. I've got a working title of "Lights" for it. And I love it. I'm also gradually putting together a playlist that I listen to while writing it. I'll share it with you soon! Any way, I have 3 8-10 page papers due by next week, so you probably won't hear from me until Christmas and I will tell you a story! A real story from my actual real life!! YAY!!!!

A Happy Little Moment For You

I saw this on Pinterest because I'm addicted and thought I'd share since it goes with my last post :) ENJOY!!