The Lesson of Pain

It all started last Wednesday when I got to work and realized I was feeling a bit off. My shoulders were a little achy, I had a bit of a headache and that general feeling of my good health slipping through my fingers. I knew I was coming down with something, but I still felt great and went about my day, pretending that I didn't feel anything out of the ordinary. In fact, I felt perfectly fine until that night when I found myself laying on the floor watching TV shivering, and not from laying on the actually warm carpet. I got up, warmed up my corn bag, put it in the foot of my bed, and got ready for sleep. Three hours earlier than usual. But if sickness was coming, I was going to meet it head on and nip it in the bud. I don't have time for sickness and needed to minimize it as much as possible.
I ended up with three more blankets ony bed and shivering through the night. I could barely move when I woke up. I had that lovely stomach bug that had been going around. It only lasts a day, but it, what a day it is. And for the first time in, like, five years, I called in sick.
My coworker told me the next day that he knew I must have been practically dead to call in, it happens so rarely. So, I lounged about that day, mostly tried to recoup and think well thoughts. And I thought I had kicked it! Great! I went back to work on Friday and worked most of the day.
By the end, hiwever, I was exhausted and just felt fatigued and left a little early. I had dinner with my family and was determined to rest up the renainder of the evening so I could do all the things I needed to that weekend. Oh, how God laughs when we make plans.
I woke up feeling nauseated around 2 AM, and knew that something wasn't right. I spent a majority of that night on the floor of my tiny bathroom. My head was pounding and I could barely move. It must be that stomach bug, back for round 2.
My mom came to check on me, thinking it was just the flu, but I watched concern creep into her eyes as I sat, huddled on the edge of the bathtub peeking through my fingers because my head hurt so much.  She offered me some Coke, thinking that if my stomach would calm, the headache would go away and we could get me rehydrated. It took her almost an hour to coax me out of the bathroom and onto the couch were I was instructed to sip both the Coke and a Gatorade in regular intervals. But I couldn't sip them. As soon as I did, they would come right back. I couldn't keep anything  down, but was finally able to sleep, curled in a ball, for about four hours, which felt heavenly, until I woke up to the same excruciating pain I'd left before I slept. It wouldn't go away and I crawled my way back to my room, feeling  rather sloth like. I couldn't stand because if I did, I'd lose my balance. So, slow crawling it was.
I couldn't watch any shows on my computer because the screen hurt my eyes. I hated the light being on, but I hated the feeling of loneliness even more in the cold dark basement.
So the light stayed on and my mom kept me company on the room next to mine. She worked on sewing projects and I would try to make her laugh. Because I like it when my mom is happy. But everytime she'd come by my door and see me lying there hurting so much, the worry would come back and she'd check her watch to see if I could take morepain killers or not.
Sunday came much like Saturday, with me on the side of the bathtub cradling my eyes because my head still hurt so much. I remember at some point during the night pleading with God to take the pain away. Or at the very least help me understand it. I am used to His answers and the need to wait for them, but I thought surely this time He would make an exception and I'd have an answer. It peace. Something. ANYTHING. But, my answer didn't come that night, in fact I'm pretty sure I'm still waiting for it. Those answers, the quiet pleadings of our hearts, you know the ones, that are every bit of our souls and every scrap of faith we've got left. We throw it all into that prayer of pleading and then sit. Hoping for an answer. For my part, there were more than a number of tears shed, and not just from the pain, though there were plenty to of those too.
There were the silent prayers I did not hear that I know where said on my behalf. The pleading for understanding and how to help this poor soul crying on her cold, dark bathroom floor. They don't go unanswered, you know. Not a tear is shed that isn't accounted for. But what would we learn if at the first sign of pain our loving white Knight came swooping  in? How helpful would that really be for us? It would be nice, but we wouldn't learn.
And so, Sunday morning came and I had now gone three days without keeping any food or liquid down. I had counted those sixteen floor tiles over and over and over again from every angle. I knew each detail in the bathtub non slip decals. I was in the routine of walking in, placing my glasses on the edge of the sink so they wouldn't get dirty. I had become a pro at washing my hands from my knees so I wouldn't get nauseous again. And I even found a semi comfortable spot on the door to lay my head when I just couldn't move any further.
Have you ever watched a parent's heart break for their child? I'm pretty sure I did. My mom, who was fighting a cold herself, would check on me throughout the day. She came home from church and without even taking off her coat came down to check on me. And the worry deepend. She was anxious for me to make any small improvements, buy I didn't. I stayed consistently the same, if not a little worse.
The excruciating pain that I tried to minimalize and pretend to sleep through was not fooling anyone. There was no sleeping through it. There were boughts of exhaustion filled with the craziest dreams I've EVER had, which is saying something. And more of the same. That afternoon, I prayed another pleading prayer up to God begging for anything. ANYTHING that I could do or say that would take this pain away. And again, the heavens fell silent.
That night was darker than the others. I didn't see myself getting  better. Normally there's some change, but not with this. I saw no hope. Now, I know what you're thinking, 'Really, Suz, that was what, like, two days?! Come on. Surely it couldn't have been THAT bad', and you're right, it wasn't a long duration to this point, but I had a sickness that was not going away and I was at a  loss what to do.
My mom came to me at about 5 in the morning asking for my insurance information so she could find a doctor that would see me that morning. She was not going  another day through this and I guided her to what she wanted and collapsed back onto my bed. By 9 she had the day off of work and an appointment for me at 11. I hadn't washed my hair in about 4 days at this point, maybe 5. My glasses were filthy and I literally grabbed whatever clothes were closest to me. It ended up being an old t-shirt and jeans with holes ripped in them. I could not have looked more homeless if I tried. But I just didn't care, the pain was the only thing on my mind.
We went back to the exam room and I sat there, head in my hands because it was so bright and my head hurt so much. The doctor came in and kind of looked over the scene. I'm sure he was wondering if I was completely there mentally. But after a few questions I could see the wheels start to turn in his head and he was trying to figure out the strange puzzle before him.
It was not the stomach bug I thought wouldn't leave me alone, but a really awesome migraine that wasn't letting go. I left with a prescription that would hopefully get me on my way to recovery.
This is where the lesson comes in. Pain sucks. It does. There's no way around it. There's nothing inherently good about it. But isn't it funny the things we learn through it? Some of the happiest people I've ever met have been through the most excruciating experiences. This experience was very small for me, really. But it made me stop and take a look at my life. Do I only pray when I need help? Do I pray only to be heard? My prayer wasn't answered your I wanted it to, but it was answered. I did find our what was happening to me, and even how to get rid of it.
This could be the start of a bigger lesson for me, though never know, but I am grateful that I know that my suffering is never in vain or without purpose. I am often reminded of my favorite scripture in Alma 7:11-13
"11 And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.
12 And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.
13 Now the Spirit knoweth all things; nevertheless the Son of God suffereth according to the flesh that he might take upon him the sins of his people, that he might blot out their transgressions according to the power of his deliverance; and now behold, this is the testimony which is in me."
Jesus Christ suffered for ALL of us, for EVERYTHING we'd experience. The good, bad, and ugly. And he did that so he could succor, or run to the aid of, us. How wonderful is that?! Someone that loves you, personally, that much. He is right there with us. Always. And forever

I need light in the dark as I search for THE RESOLUTION....

As the new year has started, I purposely did not make any resolutions to do better. I didn't make any promises to myself that I would some how dramatically change now that a new year has started. But as the new year has begun rolling out, I can't help but feel a sense of urgency about a few things. I can be a bit of a slacker when it comes to things like writing on my journal, ironic, I know. But, I felt like I really ought to be keeping up with things of that nature. I have an incredible story to tell. Dull at times, yes, but also very exciting. This leads me to tell you all about one of the exciting adventures I'm starting this year! But first, a music video from Jack's Mannequin that is the title of this post:

A few weeks ago I was contacted by a classmate and asked if I'd be interested in writing a screenplay for someone. I said "absolutely!" and she sent the contact information to me. I emailed this guy who is needing a script ASAP and he responded and we started talking about the project. 

Guys. This is what I've been wanting to do with my life. Writing! Real things that will be made into real movies!! How fantastic is that?! It's very exciting, but currently I'm waiting. Always waiting.

In other news, have you guys heard of a bullet journal? I'm intrigued by the concept and have thought about starting one. I have a hard enough time coming up with things to blog about....well, to find time to blog about. I come up with topics every day and most of them get filed away in the back of my mind and at first they hope that I'll pull the file out again later, but it really hasn't happened yet...one day, perhaps. But the joy of bullet journaling is that it is meant to be a quick thing that reminds you of your life, and who doesn't need that. We may not want to remember things, but we need to. They help us to remember the struggles in life. The wait before something great happens in your life. It's excruciating, but it's necessary. And I want to do better at remembering it!

I am also starting another project. Another! I was baking for the holidays, enjoying the very busy week I had had. Writing, job interviews and the like, and in the middle of Cinderella, you know, the one that came out in 2015 with Lilly James, so I'm in the middle when the princes comes running to save her in the forest and he doesn't tell her who she is and this whole fairy tale unfolded in my mind. But it wasn't the classic one I grew up with. There wasn't actual magic or a fairy godmother, per se. There was the basic details of Cinderella with a twist. It took place in Solais and is a story Ian grew up with. Then, my mind just started going at a million miles an hour with a whole series of fairy tales with a Solais twist. It's actually helping me expand the universe I started to create when I started writing LIGHTS. This is giving the whole world more depth and character. Cinderella will take place in both Solais and a neighboring kingdom that controls fire in the same manner that Solais controls light. Cool, no? It is. It is cool. And there's a masquerade and Cinderella can't stand the prince at first and he can't stand her and they fall for each other without realizing who the other is. It's brilliant. There's also ballet involved and just a wonderful wonderful story that I can not wait to tell you about!!

And then, while I was binge watching some Hallmark movies, because I am sha
melessly addicted to them, I was watching one and this guy keeps popping up in them and I found him intriguing and so I went to find all of the hallmark movies he's in. Because I have, like, all of them. I wish I was joking, but I'm not. And I watched, like, four hallmark movies that he's in. I'm pretty sure that I want him to be a prince in one of my stories. Because everything I write, I write as if it were going to be made into a movie. Often when I describe a character, I am describing an actual person that I would like to portray that character at some point. And I would LOVE to have both Andrew Walker (the guy from all the hallmark movies) and Blake Lively in one of my fairy tales. And Anna Kendrick. I could go on and on. But I'll leave you with this very rough beginning to Cinderella:

There are always things that must be. The sun setting in the west. Hour follows hour and each day leads to the next. And just as there are things that must be, there are people that are destined to follow paths they never thought they could.

Once, a long time ago, there was a beautiful girl named Ethne. She had followed her dreams as far as she could and had achieved her greatest goal of starring in a real ballet company production. She was set to play the lead role in the New York City Ballet company's production of Firebird. She would be the firebird! She could not believe her luck! She practiced every day, all day. She gave her heart and soul for the opportunity and just days before opening night she found a ring box tucked away in a box filled with her mother's things. Her mother, sadly, had died when she was a girl. It had been years since she had even looked at the box, let alone opened it up. The hinges creaked as she gently lifted the lid to reveal a rather unusual ring. It had a celtic eternity knot around the band that entwined at the top holding a fiercely red ruby at the pinnacle of the ring. Ethne felt a pull coming from the ring and took it out of it's box and slid it gently on to her right index finger. It fit perfectly. As soon as the ring was in place, though, Ethne noticed things around her start to change. The setting sun through the window seemed to be brighter, and it almost looked like the sun was on fire, but that would be ridiculous. The sun couldn't be on fire. At least, not this close to where Ethne was. Or could it? Ethne glanced around the room, frantic for an explanation, but there wasn't one. Her lamp on the bedside table seemed to also grow in brightness until the room was consumed in a brightness that caused Ethne to cover her eyes.

She noticed the smell of the earth first, then as the brightness faded, she heard the sound of a bird singing as it flew overhead. It was a sound unlike any bird she had heard before. And there was a musical tone to the trees. Ethne opened her eyes and found herself no longer in her room, but in a very unusual forest. She gasped as she took in the view around her. The trees were taller and wider than any tree she'd ever seen. Not even the Redwoods she'd seen last summer could compare. And the silver veins that ran through the trunks was breathtaking and beautiful. A breeze danced around her and she noticed the tinkling sound of silver. She looked up into the branches of the trees and noticed that even the veins of the green leaves were silver.

Where have I gone to? She thought to herself, and before she could answer herself she heard someone running through the trees and then rush to a stop. A young man stood before her. His silverish gray eyes caught her attention first. Then his sandy blonde hair with the smallest hint of scruff on his face. He looked at her in amazement and she couldn't help but feel her expression must be similar to his.

Like I said, ROUGH rough draft. But, It's a start. So, there's still some other exciting stuff happening, but I can't tell you about it just yet. So, in the mean time, listen to this song. It aptly sums up how I feel about life right now. It's called So Close and it's from Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness and he wrote it last year when he felt like all of these amazing things were just around the corner.

He said it's that moment when you feel like everything is either going to work out or fall apart and you're so close to amazing things happening. That's how I feel. I'm so close to either finally moving forward with my life or having everything fall apart. And either way, it's going to be an amazing journey. I can't wait. I'm so excited for everything that's going on in my life right now. Even if I am just kind of waiting to see what pans out. It's finding joy in the journey, you know? So close. 

#LIGHTtheWORLD

I survived November! I know you have all been wondering if I did or not, especially since I haven't posted in a long time. It's been busy. Like, game changer busy. And, come the new year, I will tell you all. Until then, I'm keeping things under wraps.

I have been meaning to post more about the #LIGHTtheWORLD campaign and this month has kind of slipped by, but I can't skip today. If you haven't heard about this campaign, it's from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and its to spend the entire month focusing on different attributes of Jesus Christ. Here's a video:

And today's attribute is: Jesus honored the Sabbath, and so can I.

I'll be honest, I haven't always really worried about keeping the Sabbath day holy. Not that I was out doing crazy things, but I didn't really care if I watched TV shows on Sunday, or if I slept after church. There was a time that I was really lazy about even going to church. It was my first time living away from home and no one was expecting me to go, really. So I let things slide a little bit.

But, lately I've been thinking more about the Sabbath day. I spend my Saturday mornings in the Payson, Utah Temple and I have been teaching the six year old class on Sundays. It's been a really wonderful opportunity to think about Jesus Christ and everything He has done for me.

I planned my Christmas lesson for today because next week is Christmas and we will be having a short service at church. So, I have been wracking my brain trying to figure out a fun gift to give the kids in my class. It had to be something I could put together quickly because I've been SUPER busy with research and writing and every idea I found didn't fit. I was getting frustrated and stressed and just wanted to give up.

Then, last night, I was cutting out a billion pairs of jeans for a quilt for my brother for Christmas because he is the hardest person to shop for. Ever. And I remembered at Thanksgiving that he really wanted a jean quilt. So, here we are. The week before Christmas and I'm just starting....haha.....It's been a busy couple of weeks. So busy. Any way, While I was getting frustrated trying to figure out how best to cut up all the jeans, my mom asked if I would want to make a small baby Jesus for each of the kids in my class. She helped me out a bunch in making them and they fit in perfectly with my lesson about the birth of Jesus Christ. It was the best final piece to my lesson today.

I have been frustrated and confused most of this year, but one thing I know for sure is that there is an AMAZING Heavenly Father that cares so much about each of us. He wants us to succeed in life. He loves us. I know this, and I hope that you know this too. With Christmas exactly a week away, I hope you will take the time to seek out our Savior. Seek Him and watch how your life starts to shift. It won't be life altering shifts all at once, but little by little. As we let Him in, He will start to change us. He will help us to become the best versions of ourselves.

I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas!! It's one of my favorite times of the year!!

Welcome, November, Make Yourself At Home

Novemeber 2nd, 2016. 5:42PM.

It's November 2016. I am feeling rather positive, however, there is a catch in the back of my mind and in my heart that is telling me that this is only the beginning. This year, frankly, has not been awesome. It has actually been one of the hardest years I've ever experienced. And now, to be in the throes of November. On this second day of the month. I hope, more than I fear, that I will make it through this month. That doesn't mean it will be without it's sneaky little traps. Or that I'll get off scott free, but I hope that whatever November brings in this November of a year, I hope that I can keep my head high and the tears at bay long enough to see that in my darkest moments I am not alone.

Because we really are never alone. And I don't mean to get all weepy or religious on y'all, but I am so grateful I believe in God. That I believe that He knows me and cares about me and actually wants me to suceed in life. Sometimes that means we have to walk through dark, dank November times in our lives. Sometimes we feel completely alone and like no one in this world could ever possibly understand what we're going through. But He does. He knows us. He cares. He wants us to be happy. He really does.

I've been re-reading the Anne of Green Gables series. I love Anne Shirley and all of her spirit. I love her life. In Anne of Avonlea, I believe, she is lamenting the fact that Gilbert Blythe is very sick and she has finally realized that she's in love with him and he might die before she gets the chance to tell him and she tells Marilla she's having such a Jonah day and for some reason I really liked that thought. A Jonah day. One thing I also love about those books is that Anne is very positive and she says in the first book, I believe (I've read a lot over the last week) that no matter how bad today is, tomorrow is a brand new day full of hope and promise. So, that is how I am choosing to look at this Novemeber. Some really awful stuff could happen to me. But even if it does, tomorrow will still come full of promise and hope.
Even if my November lives up to the worst that I've had (I really REALLY hope it doesn't), it will come and it will go and I will learn and grow from it and even though it will probably make me cry, it will also make me stronger. Because just like Thomas Wayne says in Batman Begins AND in the comics, "Why do we fall down? To learn to pick ourselves up." In our darkest moments, we have the potential to learn the most and become the strongest. I am strong not because I endured hard things, but because I chose to let those hard things change me for the better.

Also, a happy little note to end on, over the next month I am going to focus on a more Christlike Christmas. Christmas used to be one of my favorite holidays, not for the presents and worldly aspects of it, but because I loved focusing on Jesus Christ. So, that is what I want to do over the next two months and I hope that you will join in with me. I will have a few posts focused on that, but I will also have some fun stuff for you. I started NaNoWriMo yesterday and will be writing a novella called Long Black Veil (for now) and it is a ghost story. I've never written a ghost story, so this will be lots of fun and I can't wait to tell you all about it. But until then, keep your chin up! You got this!

A Moment of Reflection

Life sucks. Sometimes. Not all the time. And sometimes November hits you in the face so many times that you're sitting in your room at 1:30 AM looking at the calendar knowing that before you know it, it'll be November 1st and you'll be facing another November. That's me. Right now. Guys, it's almost November.

I'm so sick of social media. If I didn't use social media to promote my own writing, I'd turn it all off and not look at it ever again. Or not until after this election business is over.

Guys, I feel like I have a billion things to say, but every time I try to write them out, I hate the way that I'm saying something and erase the whole thing.

I found out that my favorite Spanish teacher from high school passed away yesterday. It was very sad because he was an amazing teacher. I still remember his class and all that I learned there. Teachers like that don't come around very often. I'm so glad I was able to learn from him. His impact is far reaching. I don't think he could have possibly known how much we all loved him. I hope his family can find comfort in knowing how great he was and how beloved he was of his students.

I wanted to give you guys an excerpt of something I'm working on because I feel like the last few posts have been a bit more me focused and less on my writing, so here you go, an excerpt from the last edit of LIGHTS. It's part of what I gave you last time with a little bit MORE bwa ha ha:

The morning air is crisp as I walk down the familiar streets. It's been years since I've actually looked around. The buildings all reaching high above, argent and black as far as the eye can see. The gray of the buildings almost washes out all colors around me. Reds seem faded, blues turn to gray, green to almost nothing. The yellow sign above the coffee shop door stands out. Perhaps it's the florescent lights indicating that the coffee is hot.

The employees are surprisingly lackluster. I walk in and look at the people. It's a sea of obsidian jackets to compliment their ivory blouses and button up shirts under charcoal blazers all around until someone catches my eye. He is wearing a button up shirt rolled up to his fore arm. A pearl white shirt with a cobalt pinstripe. Despite his relaxed expression, he still looks precise and sharp. Even his rolled up sleeves seem to be rolled to a precise measurement so as to not be too casual or too business like. He seems brighter than everyone else in the little shop. Or even the city. If that's even possible. Like he almost has a glow to him that no one else does. The pages on his book seem almost vibrant. He doesn't look up when I enter but continues reading while the rest of the world ignores him. He has an undefined preoccupation with his watch.

He is oblivious to the world, and yet I feel like he is watching more closely than the rest of us. He checks his watch, looks up briefly before returning to his book. How can he read?

I admit, my fascination is probably bordering on creepy, probably. No one else seems to notice him. It's almost like they can't see him. This morning is no exception. No one sees him, no one talks to him, it's like he's not even here. There is nothing threatening about him. Perhaps that is why no one notices. I thought about asking one of the workers if they know anything about him, but they seem even less personable than usual today. A little thought keeps pestering me to go talk to him. After all, I have time today. It's not even eight in the morning.

“Emma!” Bobby's voice booms around me and my cup comes flying across the counter. He doesn't even look as he throws my cup. I've become a coffee catching ninja as I skillfully snatch it without a drop getting on my scrubs. I check my phone again. 7:52. I walk over to the counter with napkins and grab a couple. I turn to leave and nearly run into the guy I can't stop staring at. He waits for me to notice I'm staring and I laugh awkwardly.

“Sorry about that.” I say and slip past him and head for the door. I feel the deep red of a very embarrassing blush crosses my cheeks. He smiles at me as I leave and in that last glance I notice how fiercely green his eyes are.

I walk quickly down the sidewalk when my phone rings. I glance down to see Marques, my coworker, calling me.

“Hey friend, what's up?” I ask him, surprised that he's beat me to work. I'm usually the first one there.

“Emma. Calahan is here to observe you. Where are you?” He asks in response.

“I'm headed in, I just stopped to get some coffee. I won't be late, promise.” I say.

“You're already 25 minutes late.” He states. There's no way that's possible. I left my house less than ten minutes ago. How can I be late at all? I look at my watch as the faceplate on my watch glaringly switches from 9:25 to 9:26.  

And now, I will be editing and writing some things. And watching the newest episode of Designated Survivor because I missed it when it aired because it was Hugh Jackman's birthday today and I was busy. You can check all that out HERE. 

In Which I Watch All The Shows!!

I'm sure you thought I'd dropped off the planet again. But no, I did not. I've just been busy avoiding my feelings and trying to organize my room, which may sound sim

ple, but it's actually similar to decluttering Howl's Moving Castle. I don't know how many of you got that reference, but I love that movie. If only I had a Sophie to come clean everything up for me...

As you have probably realized, it's Autumn. And with Autumn comes new TV shows! Sometimes I watch a new show and wonder what it will be like when I have a TV show of my own premiering. That will be exciting. But, until then, I'll just keep watching all the shows. Like Designated

Survivor. Are you guys watching that one?! If not, you should! It just got picked up for a full season, which it totally deserves! I never watched 24, but if Kiefer Sutherland is half good in that show as he is in the first two episodes of Designated Survivor, I may have to watch it. He is incredible in Designated Survivor. He portrays a very sincere "every man" type while also killing it as a strong leader. Just. Just go watch it.

Also, I started watching This Is Us. The writers really must be applauded for their ability to write such a compelling story that throws you a curve ball that makes you stop and go" wait.... What may happened... " and then you have to wait a week for the next episode. And Milo Ventimiglia is just fantastic on this show. I've been a fan since his days as Jess Mariano on Gilmore Girls. #teamjess But really, it's a compelling story that is very relatable. It also just got picked up for a full season.

And, next week starts my superhero shows starting!! Here's a great video to get you pumped if you already watch them:

I'm so excited for all these shows to start again!

In other news, I have been working on an idea for a short story for Halloween based on the song Long Black Veil by Johnny Cash as covered by Dave Matthews Band. I've never written a first story, so this will be fun! I'm quite excited. I'm going to channel my inner southerner because I'm setting it in a small southern town. I love the rich history of the south. I've really been missing North Carolina lately. I'm homesick for it!

Any way, I will keep you all posted as it progresses!

Connections

Firstly, a HUGE thank you to everyone who read Unrequited. It is, hands down, my most read post and I'm really grateful for everyone that helped me achieve that. If you haven't read it yet, go check it out. It's on this blog, not one of my others that I write, but yeah. Go read it. I poured my soul into that piece and then it go rejected. #ironic.

I am a huge nerd. And I am proud of that fact. I read a lot of comic books. This is a well known fact. My last car was named Grayson after Dick Grayson AKA Robin AKA Nightwing. I LOVE all things comic books. And I live an hour away from Salt Lake City who has the 3rd largest comic con in the country. Go us! And I have been a to many of them. I have met lots of people and I've had really great adventures with my friends.

I wasn't going to go this time because money is tight and I really can't be spending a ton of money on non essential things. But, Chiquita convinced me to come and even gave me a pass. Which was awesome. So, I went. And thanks to some really generous friends I was even able to get a couple more signatures in my Arrow graphic novel. Which was fantastic. And so much fun. AND, I was able to get some ideas for my StarStruck Baking blog, which will be coming up in the next little bit.

It was really a lot of fun, but one of the highlights for me was the train ride home. The train was pretty full because there were LOTS of people at comic con, but there was an older gentleman sitting alone with a few empty seats by him. So, I kindly asked if I could sit by him and he replied that he would love some company. As I sat down, in the midst of hundreds of people, he started asking me about myself. I hate small talk because I'm really not good at it. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I really am not good at small talk. It's awkward for me, but this nice gentleman just kept asking questions and then I would ask him in return and he'd start telling me about his life.

I didn't ever catch his name. He might have told me, but it was too loud to hear him. But it really doesn't matter because in that moment it was like there were no other people on the train and he just wanted to tell me about his life. He reminded me a lot of my grandfather, probably because they both served in World War II. But it was still great to hear him tell me about how he ended up in Utah of all places and about all the places he'd been to and the things he's seen. I got to just sit and talk to someone and hear about their life. And just as quickly as it started, it ended. His stop came up and he said goodbye and hopped off the train.

Everyone has a story to tell. EVERYONE. Even you, person I may not know reading this. You may not know me (though, if you've read much of this blog you have a good idea), and I may never meet you, but in this moment, right now, we are sharing a moment. This experience right here is something that we don't always get with people. The sun rises and sets and how often do we actually see who's lives we touch? We are all connected.

And speaking of connected, I saw this video on Facebook the other day and it really got me thinking. I can't find the link, so if anyone can find it, put it in the comments. Any way, the premise of this video is that these researchers got a group of people from all over the world together and asked them about where they're from. The people talked about how they'd lived in the same country for generations and they were really proud of their heritage. The researchers then asked if they would be willing to go on a journey based on their DNA. Many of the people were skeptical, but agreed.

It was interesting to see the people's reactions when they discovered that none of them were 100% anything. But that their DNA showed how many different countries and heritages each person had. It got me thinking about my own ancestry. My Great Grandparents on my Mom's side came to America from Holland. That's two generations. That's so close! My Dad's family is from all over Europe. I even have some ancestors from Africa. I love learning more about where I come from. I want to go visit Ireland, Scotland, England, Denmark and Holland. I want to walk the streets that my ancestors walked. I want to see what they saw. I want them to be a part of my life. Because without them, I wouldn't be me. Without my great great great Grandma Dablestein I wouldn't know that I have a rich Jewish heritage. Without James and Mary Anne Pace, I wouldn't have a love for my hometown, which they settled in the early 1800s. Without Eric Anderson Svard (with whom I share a birthday) I wouldn't know about my Swedish ancestors. All of us come from all over the world. And because of this, we are literally all connected. How cool is that?

I am so grateful for my ancestry. For a heritage so full of vibrant stories and history! I love where I've come from and I'm so grateful for all those that sacrificed so much so that I could be me.