Almost Christmas

I kind of waited until November was over to post again so as to not jinx myself more than I already had. November and I still don't get along.
    I had an interesting experience over the last few weeks. I met a guy in my ward who seemed like a cool guy. I flirted with him a little bit, and he flirted back which was awesome. So, I hung out with him a few times, but it seemed like the more I got to know him, the more I felt like something was off. Not that he was a bad person, but just something was off. So, I noticed he was always flirting with this other girl too, and thats when it hit me. I felt like I was his 2nd choice (because I was...he probably still thinks I am) and I really don't like feeling like the 2nd choice. Who wants to feel that way? I have reflected a lot on why I feel this way, and I have come to this conclusion: over the past year I was totally in love with Digger and he became a really good friend to me, and the one thing he has always commented on and tried to pound in my head is that I am worth so much more than I give myself credit for. He was always reminding me of the amazing qualities I have and of the talents I continually share. I know that I needed a friend like Digger so that way when someone tried to put me as their 2nd choice, I'd realize it, and not stand for it. I am good enough to be someone's 1st choice, and I shouldn't sell myself short.
     On an entirely different note, I am done with another semester of school, and hopefully I did alright. By the end there, I really didn't care anymore. I just wanted to be done, and now I am! And lucky for me, I am already working on the reading for next semester. I will be reading about 2 books a week for my Young Adult Literature class, starting with Go Ask Alice and Catcher In The Rye; neither of which have I read. I am looking forward to next semester, I think it will be a great adventure and I can't wait to see what happens!!
     Also, its Christmas next week, and as it gets closer, I really start to hate large groups of people in stores and really just want to focus on the actual Christmas story and the reason we celebrate it. I love the Savior, and I love all that this season actually means.

Remember Remember the 5th of November....or something

A long time ago my friend Fort told me I should watch the show V for Vendetta, but I never did because its rated R. But there is a line, and essentially the main theme of the movie revolves around Guy Fawkes day which happens to be the 5th of November. So, next year when it rolls around, remember remember the 5th of November, okay people? ha ha ha.

So, its November. I generally struggle in November. For examples, you can look here or here or here...just for a few examples. This year has turned out to be a prize winning year as well. However, when all is said and done, my car will hopefully be good to go for a while longer *fingers crossed*.

Have you seen the show Once Upon A Time on ABC? that show is like CRACK to me. OH MY GOODNESS. This is the season of fairy tales, sort of, because you have Once Upon A Time from the creators of LOST, and then you have Grimm, which I watched part of the pilot and had to watch something really happy after because it is kind of freaky. So, I will stick with Once Upon a Time, PLUS, Prince Charming is really quite attractive. He was actually in THOR, but you probably wouldn't pick him out in that movie because 1-Chris Hemsworth is in it, and B-He looks COMPLETELY different in Thor than he does in Once Upon A Time. I think the thing I like about Prince Charming is he's a believable attractive. It is entirely possible you'd run into someone as attractive as him in real life. He's normal attractive, which I think makes me more attractive. Does that even make sense? It made sense to me, but I tend to be strange.

   I don't really care for Snow White's dress in the beginning, apparently feathers are in fashion this year...which I find....weird. Just sayin...but I do still LOVE this show. After this last episode I am DYING for more! Sunday can't come fast enough! I know that I'm going to get frustrated and end up totally bugged that the happy ending isn't happening as fast as I want it to, but, we'll see how long it lasts, right? RIGHT!




On an entirely different subject, I got super sick a couple weeks ago. Like I came home from work not feeling so great at about 4:00PM and laid down for a nap....and about 12 hours later I woke up wide awake in the middle of the night! YAY! I didn't know what else to do, so I popped in Captain America and watched it until almost the very end. I love that movie. I have been in love with Chris Evans for a really long time. I confess I only watched Fantastic Four, Push, and The Perfect Score because he was in them. And now he is Capt. America.
I think Capt. America is my favorite super hero movie, and not just because of Chris Evans, but because I really liked the story of it too. It was well done and I am SOOOOOOO excited to see The Avengers in May. I don't like going to midnight shows anymore, but I will be going to the midnight showing of that one! How can you not be excited?!?!?!?! You've got Iron Man, Thor, Capt. America, Hawkeye, The Hulk.....and that one chick that I don't really like, but seriously, you've got an AMAZING collection of super awesome super heroes!!!! I am soooo excited! I saw the first preview for it and freaked out. Don't judge, please. I'm a geek, and I know it.

In other news, I am not failing any of my classes in school, and for the first time in a really really long time, I am scheduled for next semester before the end of this semester. CRAZY, I know. One day I will be free from school for forever, but until that day, I will keep trudging along!

I know I have sounded really frustrated and bitter to those who have actually talked to me this month, but in reality, I actually am really grateful for a lot of things, and I am grateful that even though November is a hard month for me, its a really great learning opportunity. Just don't expect much for Christmas from me, because I am broke!!! HA HA HA!!!!

And hey, be happy, I have been working on Changing Tyde. Its coming along, and I am LOVING it! Just don't tell my Ethics and Values professor that I haven't been paying much attention to his lecture on Nietzsche...

Today I am feeling an overwhelming feeling of gratitude to my Heavenly Father. I feel like I don't thank Him enough for all of the many things He does for me. I feel like He is really close to me lately, which is the best feeling in the world. I feel like He is guiding me right now to a new adventure. I feel like there is so much I need to do in my life and I need to keep going and pressing forward so that I can accomplish all the many goals I have set for myself.
     I absolutely LOVED Pres. Uchtdorf's talk in the General RS Meeting last night. If you haven't listened to it yet, I HIGHLY recommend it! He talks about Forget-Me-Nots and uses them in his talk. I loved the over all theme of the whole meeting and felt so very loved by my Heavenly Father and His beloved Son, Jesus Christ. I love knowing that I am a daughter of God, and that He has so much in store for me. I LOVE the gospel of Jesus Christ and all it means to me in my life!!

Fantastic Weekend!!!

I took a majority of this weekend off and just relaxed. I realize school just started and I shouldn't be super stressed yet...and I'm not yet...I just don't want to get as stressed as I was last semester, so on Saturday when a majority of the state was waiting with lots of anticipation for the BYU vs. Utah game to begin, I was driving to SLC to watch Real Salt Lake play some soccer! And oh, it was a good game. They played Kansas City (who did put up a good fight) and WON!!! By a point...which was the only point scored the entire match. But it was still awesome! I was happy to see my team win! They have some good players! And then, after the game, Onerepublic came and sang for a little while! It was FANTASTIC, and they even played a new song that is for sure going to be on their next album! Here is a video of it, and yes I realize the video is really crappy quality, but you can hear to song, which is what counts any way.
So, after the game I technically had plenty of time to drive home and sleep in my own bed...but I didn't want to and crashed at Fort's house. It was nice to get away even if it was just for one night.
    So, today I got up and got ready and went to church with Fort and her room mates. It was funny because as we are driving over, Fort was mentioning that she hasn't seen Digger at church since she met him about a month or two ago, so I might not see him. I kind of wanted to see him since I haven't talked to him since I told him I liked him, and kind of wanted to know for sure that we are still friends and all that. It was funny because as we got out of the car, Digger is walking across the parking lot to go into church. It was crazy. I hadn't told him I was up there, hadn't talked to him, so when he saw me in the foyer, it was nice that when he recognized me, he came over to talk to me. We ended up sitting by him in sacrament meeting, and it was as if nothing had changed, which I am glad for because as I have previously mentioned, Digger is one of the best men I have ever met and I am so grateful for his friendship.
    And then, after church, I came back home and watched a couple Jane Austen movies, because I'm addicted to them and I feel they are the best way to relax on a Sunday afternoon...hooray!! It was the perfect end to a fantastic weekend!!

5 years ago...

Five years ago tomorrow (Sept. 13th) I went into the MTC to start my missionary service. Isn't that CRAZY!?!?!?! Five whole years have passed since I started a journey that would change the rest of my life. Its amazing! And, do you know how I'm going to celebrate this momentous occasion? I am going to watch this movie:

Because A.) Its a wicked awesome movie!
And 2.) because Chris Hemsworth is ATTRACTIVE....isn't he just so beautiful!?!?! Yeah...he is...

It comes out on DVD tomorrow, which I feel is entirely appropriate! What better way to celebrate than that!?!?!?! he he he...so fun! The only thing that would be better is if Captain America was also coming out on DVD...but alas, it won't be out for a while yet.



On an entirely random note: I am totally loving school, though it is completely kicking my trash!!! I have learned, however, that when you choose a major that you actually enjoy...you actually like the classes you are required to take! Crazy how that works, isn't it!?!?!?!

Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead

      I heard the song "Someone Like You" by Adele the other day and FELL IN LOVE with that song! The chorus of the song was EXACTLY how I was feeling that day and it was so amazing! Here is the song, with Adele's story behind the song:


      So, in case you hadn't figured it out, I talked to Digger about how I felt about him and all that good stuff. It was good. We are good friends, and that is all it will ever be.
      I have learned a lot in this whole process and I am so grateful that I met him, and that we are friends. There are few friends I think more highly of than him, and not just because I liked him, he is a very genuine, caring, amazing person and I wish him all the best in life.

DEMOLITION DERBY Cake

     I have this friend...and for some reason one of my nieces calls him Turbo. She's never heard anything about him, or met him, she helped me put the cars on top of his cake and she keeps calling him Turbo.  I think its pretty funny, so we're just going to call him that.

   Any way, it was Turbo's birthday last Thursday and jokingly told me about a month ago that his birthday was coming up if I wanted to make a cake...I think he's kind of cute, and he's a really great guy, so I told him I'd make him a cake. He was kind of surprised. So, we talked later about it and decided that I would make him an ice cream cake with a car theme to it. I just went to a demolition derby, so I took that and made it my theme.
    I love how the flames turned out on this cake. It is one of my favorites, and Turbo thought it was super awesome. He already knows I'm a good cook, and tells people on a fairly regular basis. It kind of makes me smile a little bit.
   I don't know if he was more excited about the cake, or the cars on top (which I left for him because he really wanted to play with them).
    I am so glad that my first ever ice cream cake turned out so well! It was a really delicious cake and I had so much fun making it!

if you like reading my blog....

My secretary, Emmalee, has just informed me that she has started a blog! If you would like to follow her (and some of my) adventures, you should check it out here. ENJOY!!!

Castle Cake

Just before summer ended, a good friend of mine had a birthday and I told her I'd make her a cake, as I do for some of my really good friends. She LOVES pink, and castles and is a school teacher and I laugh with her a lot, so we decided to go with a pink castle cake for her birthday. I had just made one of these for my niece's birthday and had a few ideas of how I wanted to change it, so here is the finished product:

As you can see, there is grass and a moat and a bridge....this is not all frosting, because that would be a LOT of frosting, I used 2 cake mixes and filled the castle cake pan that I borrowed from my Sister-in-law (who is AWESOME! Thanks for letting me use it!) and then I took what was left and poured it into a 9x13 pan and baked that as well. When everything was cooled, I got to work frosting it. The windows are made of pink starburst candies as well as the flags. The candles had different colored flames, though I am not terribly impressed with them...I liked the star topped candles best, and they fit in best with the scene any way.

My friend LOVED her cake, and I had so much fun making it! I also made these cute little cupcakes for another friends birthday and had sooo much fun figuring out how best to make the design and the everything for it to work out so well!

And as I am posting this on the first weekend in September, I thought I'd add this to Beck's LOOK WHAT I MADE!!! Share the love link party!!!! Enjoy!!!

New Adventures!

Sorry I haven't written in forever! Emmalee read me what she had posted, and I think she summed up my life at the moment quite well. She's a great secretary, I think everyone should have an Emmalee.
    So, I told a friend of mine I'd make his birthday cake in September. I don't think I've talked about him before, so we're just going to call him Ty. Any way, I told Ty I'd make his cake and yesterday I was hanging out with him and a few other people at Coldstone and he said "Hey Sooz, I want that kind of cake" pointing at an ice cream cake. "Okay" I said and he was like "Really? Aren't those kind of hard to make?" and I gave him that look like 'are you doubting my domestic skills?' and then I responded with, "I love a challenge" SO, I am going to do a trial run this weekend I think...who wants ice cream cake???? Let me know if you live in the general vicinity of my house :)
    On an entirely random note, sort of entirely random because I had Emma make mention of it last post, but I saw the new Jane Eyre movie and I LOVE it. Even though its REALLY sad...until the end. It does end well, that made me happy. After watching the movie I read the book, and I liked them both really well!
However, I feel that the girl that plays Jane in the movie is an awkward kisser. I know this is random, and I refuse to admit how many times I have watched this movie since I first saw it...but its a lot, and at first I was trying to figure out why its awkward when they kiss...and its totally because she's AWKWARD. SUPER AWKWARD. Go watch the movie and you'll totally see what I mean!
BUT, in watching this movie, I thought the guy that plays Mr. Rochester (Michael Fassbender is his name), looked kind of familiar...like I'd seen him in something else recently. He kind of looks a little like Hugh Jackman at first, and then it hit me...He's MAGNETO in X-Men: First Class!!!!!!!! Another of my recent favorite movies! Only he's more attractive in that one because he has short hair and no facial hair.AND, because in Jane Eyre, Mr. Rochester is like 40 or something and they totally made him look older than he actually is (he's actually 34...in case you were wondering...).
  
     Um...I'm in school this semester. Yay for Soozee! I'm going back full time...lets pray I don't die, or fail. Both would be equally horrible. I am taking 2 English classes (Critical Intro. to Literature, as well as Post 1800 British Literature) a health class, and an Ethics and Values class that I am no very excited for, however, after this semester I only have math to get through and I'm completely DONE with generals!!! HOORAY!!! Be excited/happy for/with me!!!!
     Many of my brothers will die after I confess this next random thought of the week...I kind of like country music lately. There is a song by Blake Shelton (not even like pop country...we're talking COUNTRY country.....CRAZY!) called God Gave Me You....oh my gosh, I love that song. Its already made it on the top 25 in my itunes...in fact it is currently #3 after All We Are by Matt Nathanson (which will remain #1 for forever if I have any say in it!) and There There Katie by Jack's Mannequin. OH, PS: I am going to see Jack's Mannequin LIVE in October! I'm SUPER DUPER excited for that one! Me, Fort, and my brother are all going. Its going to be sooo much fun! But yeah, Soozee and country music, who knew?!?!?! Right!?!?!?!
    I'm just going to apologize now and let you all know that if I don't blog very much in the next little while it is only because I'll be a hermit in school. But, I love you all and will update, or have Emmalee update as often as possible, k!?!?!?!

NOTE: Please read in a British accent

Hello!
     This is Soozee's secretary Emmalee, yes I am in fact British, so its best if you read everything I write today in my native accent. Soozee has been far too busy lately to write and has requested I write you very quickly in her stead. She has been incredibly busy working both jobs as well as making a few cakes, attending a few weddings, and writing...she is always writing!
     In other random news, she also wanted to fill you in a little bit on the whole Digger situation, he did move about an hour away, and about 2 blocks from Soozee's best friend Fort. Ironic, I know! And she also said to mention that she has talked to Digger more now than when he lived here, so we are looking at this as good news.
     Soozee's best friend Tex got married over the weekend and Soozee said it was a beautiful occasion that she was very grateful she was able to attend. Tex has been like family to her for years and I have had the opportunity to meet both him and his wife on a few occasions and join with Soozee in wishing them the best in their new life together.
     Soozee also requested I inform you of a few movies she will be mentioning next time she posts. She has seen the new Capt. America: The First Avenger movie and absolutely loved it! So much in fact, it inspired a Chris Evans movie week, so I'm sure she'll have pictures to post as well. Also, she just watched this years version of Jane Eyre, which I was very interested in seeing as well. There were actually quite a few more well known actors in this version, including the guy that played Magneto in X-Men: First Class as Rodchester. I thoroughly enjoyed seeing my native countryside and also the story unfold. But, I will let Soozee talk more about that later.
    Over all, she is still alive and I hope this will suffice for those of you that have missed Soozee's random ramblings as she calls them. If you have any questions or concerns for her well being, feel free to comment or e-mail me at ninjasecretary@gmail.com and I will be sure and pass along a post-it note with your request.

Best Wishes,
Emmalee Fairfax

Jake's New Name

So, I took into consideration all of your ideas and talked to a few friends and decided to change Jake's name back to Nick. So, his name is now Nicholas Andrew Sorensen. I think this will clear up all the confusion the two JA names created. I was talking to Digger about this change and he thought it was brilliant. Oh, and he moved an hour away. Yeah, that kind of sucks a little bit...but at least he moved to the same area as all of my best friends (Fort, Tex, my brother, etc) so, its not an entirely sucky thing.

New Name For Jake

Jake has had many names. After talking to Digger about my book, it was quite obvious that having both a Jake and a Jason gets WAY too confusing. SO, I need to change Jake's name. He's had several names through out the drafts. Some previous names are:
Nathan
Tyler
Jake
Adam
Nick
Matt
or Andrew
what do you guys think? Do you like any of those names, or do you have a different one not starting with J that you think would be AMAZING to see in a book?

Its Fancy, Its Nancy, IT'S FANCY NANCY!!!!

For her birthday last year, a good friend of mine requested a Hello Kitty cake. It turned out fabulous and I was soooo freaking proud of that cake! Man, it was beautiful. So, this year when I asked her what she wanted, she had to think about it. How do you top THAT cake? I mean really. It was a work of art. And then, she said two words that first sent me scrambling, but I recovered and came up with something BRILLIANT! Those two words were: FANCY NANCY. I had heard of the books, though never read through any of them. Sad, I know, but I have since remedied that. My friend said that the first one was her favorite, so I took that as my main inspiration and then went from there. Here is the end result:

Beautiful, no? I think so! I am so proud of how this cake turned out! Its a 6" cake of funfetti goodness that I decorated entirely in pink. I googled Fancy Nancy pictures, printed them out, lamenated them and then put them on toothpicks so they would stand up on the cake. GENIUS! Thank you to my sister and sister in law for their help! I don't know what I would do without my good friends that are constantly inspiring me!



And, since it is the first Friday of July, I am linking this post in with Becky's link party!!! Heck yes, so much fun!!

A New Beginning

I have gone back and forth on whether or not to post this, but here it is. This is the new opening for my book. Let me know what you think, k? Thanks!!!

KYLA

The sunshine and breeze created dancing shadows across the snow around the cemetery. I could almost hear the words of the eulogy being spoken on the air as I knelt down in the snow, I was finally here. It was cold and wet, but I didn't really notice. I touched the headstone as if touching it might help me feel closer to him, but I knew he was gone.

Jakob Andrew Sorenson

May 16, 1986 – November 20, 2010

A few tears fell silently to the ground as the memories flooded back through my mind. This was not how my story was supposed to go. My life was just about to begin, and now I felt like it had come to an abrupt end.

            “It was a beautiful service. I wish you could have been there for it.” I jumped, not expecting to see anyone. I hadn't even heard her approach. I recognized the woman's voice and looked up to see Jake's mother standing a few feet away. I stood, brushing the snow off my coat and attempting to look presentable. I was trying to think of the words to say that would somehow make this okay, but they weren't there. Instead, all I could say was,

            “I'm so sorry...” sorry for not helping him, sorry for not being here, sorry for everything...the words were not enough, they seemed like cheap filler words for an unspoken emotion. As we approached each other, she held her arms and I fell into her embrace. She held me close and tight as if she could take away the pain I was in. I was amazed at her compassion and strength. She was dealing with the loss of her oldest son, he pride and joy. He had meant the world to her, and now he was gone. All of those hopes and dreams shattered like glass across the pavement.

            “You have nothing to be sorry for, Kyla”

            “I should have been here. I should have done more. I should have...” She took a step back so she could look into my eyes. Her gaze was penetrating and sincere. There were tears in her eyes, too. I knew this was just as hard for her as it was for me.

            “There is nothing more you could have done. You were in the hospital during his funeral with a fight of your own. We all know you wanted to be here, and none of us think less of you for not coming. We are all just grateful that we didn't lose you too.”

          Jake’s family, as well as my own had been holding their breath the night of the accident. After all that happened, I should not be here right now. In fact, I shouldn't even be alive, let alone breathing on my own, walking around three states away from the horrific car accident that took Jake's life. The doctors kept telling me it was a miracle I was still alive, and when I kept improving so quickly, they said they had never seen a recovery so quick and so thorough from such a serious accident.

Inspiration

I have been feeling totally lost when it came to Changing Tyde. I knew there was more to write, I just didn't know how. Then, the semester ended and I had more time to write, so I wrote a few scenes I really fell in love with, the only thing was, they were single scenes, not more of the story. I felt like I was forever away from being done with it.
     A couple summers ago, I hung out with AHG a lot and I was writing quite a bit and I would bounce ideas off him about guys and how my two main guys should act and what not. It was a lot of fun, and I felt like Jason was becoming an actual character. I wrote one scene in particular that I sent to AHG when it was done and he was really surprised by it and said it was really good.
    Now, fast forward two years and I'm still not done writing Changing Tyde. I feel like I'm hitting a brick wall. A few months ago, I recruited Digger to help me just like AHG had, but Digger is incredibly busy. So, last week after church I asked if he had any time this week so I could bounce ideas off of him. He said Wednesday night was probably the only free night he had. I worked until 8, but then we could get together. So, Wednesday night comes and I call him when I get off...no answer...so, I leave a message. About a half hour later I get a text from him apologizing because he spaced it, but that he will make it up to me. So, we reschedule for Thursday night.
     Thursday night around 8PM still haven't heard from Digger, so I send him a text asking if he has time that night, or if he needs to reschedule, or if he is just too nice of a guy to tell me doesn't want to/have time to help me, and that if the latter option is the case to please just let me know so we don't waste our time. No response for like 45 minutes when there's a knock on the door. Its Digger. I open the door and he apologizes again for not being able to meet up. He had work stuff come up again and needs to reschedule. He also said that he didn't want to text me to reschedule because he felt really really bad for not being able to meet with me. He said that he really did want to help me and that he had Sunday afternoon to meet up.
     One of my friends says I am too forgiving, especially when it comes to Digger. Apparently I was supposed to be all hateful towards him for rescheduling again. But, he didn't have to come over to my house to apologize in person. He didn't have to apologize at all, we didn't have a set time or a set plan for Thursday, really. He didn't have to do any of it, but he did. Because he's a good person. As he left that night I could help thinking that he really is one of the nice guys you don't come across very often. Its sooo frustrating dealing with him a lot of the time, but when it counts, he does care.
     So, fast forward to Sunday. I had sent him a copy of my manuscript (which is still just around 100 pages) and highlighted parts I wanted his insight on. We got together after ward stare and ended up talking about it for about an hour or so. It was so great to talk to someone that hasn't heard about this story for the last 3 years (not that I am ungrateful to all of you who have listened to me go on and on and on and on about Jason and Jake and Kyla! I LOVE YOU!!!) it was fresh insight and also, he gave me some great ideas of ways to improve the characters and just some things he thought might help. He didn't know how long the story was until he pulled it up to read it today, so when I asked him what all he read he was like "Suzy, its 100 pages long! I only had time to read the highlighted parts. I had no idea you had that much written" which made me laugh! ha ha!
     Any way, I have a lot of new ideas. Digger liked it a lot and told me I am a good writer and that my story is believable, which is exactly what I was going for. So awesome when you get the idea you are trying to get across. I have a lot of work to do, but I finally feel like I can make progress! HOORAY!
    Also, through out the conversation, Digger brought up Twilight and why it works, which leads me to believe he has read the series, which makes me laugh a little bit inside because if you ever meet Digger, he doesn't come across as the Twilight reading, bachelor/bachelorette watching guy that he actually is. ha ha ha, I'm still laughing a little bit. He's a very interesting guy, but I am grateful for his help. He wants to be kept in the loop on my book, and I am more than happy to bounce ideas off of him.
     Therefore, stay tuned to changes that are sure to come soon to the one and only Changing Tyde. You know you're a little bit excited, as you should be!

Summertime

So, its been a while since I last posted. I've been busy. Last week, I was hating the world (which has been happening more and more lately) so I decided to go to a movie....by myself. I've done this before, and I only feel awkward until the movie starts. Any way, I went and saw X-Men: First Class because I am a TOTAL geek at heart...I have 6 brothers, therefore I watched a lot of super hero cartoons instead of girly ones...so yeah, a new X-Men movie, I was excited. So I went alone. It was AWESOME. Probably my favorite one so far.

In honor of its release, my BFF Fort requested for her birthday that I make an X-Men cake, so I took the movie poster and created the cake from that. Its not as awesome as I was hoping for, but I am still quite proud of it. I mean I had to carve the top part out and then frost it (which was a lot more difficult than I thought it would be).

The cake says: Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters-First Class, in case you were wondering. If I were to do this cake again (which I just might) I have a few ideas on how to improve its awesomeness. In the meantime, I am already coming up with how to make the next birthday cake I make as awesome. Here's a little sneak peek of the theme for that one:

    Like I said, I really liked X-Men, and after I watched it I was on a James McAvoy kick...because he's Professor Charles Xavier in the movie. You have no idea who James McAvoy is? That is sad. He's one of my favorite actors. I have seen him play a plethora of different roles, and I think he does a pretty good job. I own a few movies with him in them (Penelope, Becoming Jane, Gnomeo and Juliet...he's the voice of Gnomeo) and then I was hanging out with my friend at her apartment and her room mate is in LOVE with James McAvoy, so I saw one of his movies I had not seen before...it was called Atonement. It was REALLY sad, but I actually really liked it. I won't go into the storyline of it, but it is a story that reminds you that life isn't always fair, and people don't always get their happy endings. It was sad, but good.
      Despite the sad movie, it was a fun day. I made some new friends and have been enjoying my summertime off. I wrote like 15 pages of my book the other day, which was awesome. It might actually start coming along again, now that I have some time to write! HOORAY!!!!

Share the Love

So...ever since the middle of May I knew that I wanted to link up with my ultra crafty friend Becky's blog. Every first Friday she has a link up party and I keep forgetting...but in the past month I have made two items I am SUPER proud of and wanted to share them both with you. So, without further ado, here we go!





     First of all, about 8 years ago I embarked on what I thought would be a quick little adventure in quilting. I should have realized when a pattern calls for 200 2 inch x 2 inch squares, the only little thing about it is the size! However, give me 8 years and losing the quilt top about 3 times and voila! here it is!
    This was originally going to be given to one of my siblings when it was done (and I honestly don't remember which one...it was going to be a surprise) but once I started it I knew that there was no way I was going to give it away! Then, as I was about half way done with the top I realized that with all the work that was going in to this quilt, no child would ever touch it either! Ha ha...I guess we'll see when I finish quilting it. The top is completely done and now I just need to add the batting and the back and then tie it or quilt it (haven't decided which yet) and then bind it and I'm done! It will be finished before I actually have a kid, which I wasn't sure would happen! HOORAY!!!


     Ok, on to the second project....I just blogged about this one, so forgive me for repeating, but I am really quite proud of it. Its Digger's birthday cake. I mean that cake was AMAZING. It was a three layer white cake with a strawberry/pastry cream/whipped cream filling, alternating between layers, and then topped with chocolate covered strawberries and a chocolate Happy Birthday Digger!! sign. MASTERPIECE. I am so very proud of that cake!
     The cake itself was probably about 10 inches around. I baked two 9inch cakes and then made them into 3 layers. The frosting is a whipped cream frosting instead of a butter cream type. And surrounding the entire cake is those chocolate pirouette cookies, alternating between milk chocolate and white chocolate. Is your mouth watering yet? I was told by a good friend of mine (who doesn't generally like cake) that when she saw a picture of this cake she wanted some. Apparently I can make non desert lovers want desert....I think that's a little bit awesome. After seeing this cake, many of my friends from church kept telling me how I should open a bakery and how I would be a fantastic baker...which is a dream that I have one day in the future. We'll see what happens. It was funny, even Digger commented about his cake, he said something to the effect of, "Soozee, do you realize how much you could sell that cake for? Oh my gosh, its amazing!" yes Digger, yes it is. And, just an FYI, if I was ever commissioned to make this cake for someone I would charge about $75.

AMAZING Cake

So...it was Digger's birthday yesterday, and I made him a birthday cake today. It was AMAZING. Its a time consuming cake, but also really amazing looking when its done. For the directions, I am going to direct you to my good friend Emily's page because she did step by step directions WITH pictures. It is from the first time I made this cake because she and I made it together. She has a link to the original blog that we got it from.
     The reaction was awesome. I sent Digger a picture of the cake and asked what he thought. The response was "ridiculous" which is Digger talk for "amazing" or "awesome". Then, when he actually saw the cake, he was amazed. I did a 9 inch cake and did 3 layers. The pirouette cookies worked out perfectly and I found the most guy-ish ribbon I could find (which still wasn't very manly) to hold it together until it was ready to be cut.
      There was no room on the actual cake to write "Happy Birthday Digger" on it, so I poured the leftover milk chocolate from the strawberries onto parchment paper and then wrote on it in white chocolate and then placed it standing up on the cake to add dimension and awesomeness to it. Then, I placed candles between the strawberries...it was really cool lit up. I forgot to take pictures of that one though. Oh well...


     We took it to a gathering of friends and shared it, and the comments were all good about the cake. The strawberries weren't as awesome as I'm sure they'll be in about a month or so. I am tempted to try this with raspberries because I love love raspberries. And then on the top part I can line up the raspberries and then drizzle the chocolate over the top...wouldn't that be divine?

Oh hello again

Sorry its been so long since I last posted! I have been crazy busy! I found out that I got all Bs in my classes!!! Some people may be a little disappointed in all Bs...I am not one of them. I rejoiced thoroughly! Just ask my sister in law, and my sister. They both got calls to share in my rejoicing!
    The next three weekends are going to be busy for me because I have a birthday cake each of the next three weekends. This weekend is Digger's birthday. He turns the big 3-0. He's an old man, I know. But very attractive for his age. Any way, I told him back in January I'd make his birthday cake if he wanted me to and so I am. I am making my delicious chocolate covered strawberry goodness cake. For a reminder of which one that is, you can look at it here. Yeah, its going to be amazing, except this time its all me, Emily moved away and its up to me to re create this amazing cake...but I'm pretty sure I can do it. And, it will turn out amazingly.
     Next up in the cakes will be an Incredible Hulk cake...I'm still deciding what I want to do with that one, and then the third cake is either going to be X-Men or Captain America themed. yeah, I have my work cut out of me. But, I'm still excited for them!! YAY!!!
     In other news, I am listening to a ridiculously large amount of Maroon 5 these days. I LOVE LOVE LOVE their new CD Hands All Over. Yes, the title is kind of....um...interesting? But the CD is AMAZING. I LOVE it. Also, I read the book Beastly on Friday. Yeah, I read the whole book that afternoon. Really quick read, and it was a pretty good story. I kind of want to see the movie now.
     Speaking of movies, I went and saw Fast Five last weekend with my brother and BFF Fort. It was really good, if you like the Fast and the Furious movies. This one had more plot, I felt, and was really good.
     Any way, there is your update on my life. I made Lemon Tarts yesterday because I now have church at 8:30AM in Provo. I get home around noon and have the entire day to do whatever I want!!! It has truly become a day of rest and I love it!! HOORAY!!!

A Much Anticipated Recipe

I know that you have all been DYING to get your hands on this recipe....well, those of you that don't already have it! Ha ha...I got this recipe from my sister in law when we were cooking it up once a month (which, BTW, we need to start doing again!!) And this has become a favorite of my friends. I make these all the time because they are easy and delicious and look super fancy.

Mini Chocolate Tarts

Tart shells:
1 box chocolate cake mix
1 egg
1/2 cup butter melted.

Mix ingredients together. Fill well greased mini muffin pans 3/4 full with batter and bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes. Do not over bake. Once they are baked, I usually let them cool for a minute and then I use a tart press to press the centers down, but you can use a 2-liter soda lid, or something about that size. then I let them sit for about 5 more minutes before I take them out to cool completely.

Filling:
1 box instant chocolate pudding (the smaller box)
1 cup half and half
1 8oz. container cool whip

combine the pudding mix and the half and half until smooth, then fold in the cool whip. I use a pastry bag and tip to create a swirl pattern on the tops of mine, but you can just spoon them in as well. I have topped them with toffee, smothered them in white and milk chocolate. I've cut strawberries up and put those on top, but my favorite is probably to take Ande's Mints chips and top the tarts with those and then just drizzle some milk chocolate on top of those. The possibilities are ENDLESS. I hope you enjoy!

Also, you can try different types of pudding mixes. Lemon cake mix with lemon pudding for the filling is delightful (one of my sisters in law made them and I fell in love!) Also, cheesecake pudding is a huge hit with the different parties I've taken them to. So, go crazy, have fun, and make up your own creation!!

Real Quick because I gots ta go ta work!!!

This has brought so much joy and laughter into my life lately. I quote it amongst my friends all the time...enjoy!!

Vanilla Mouse Cheesecake

I have made this cheesecake twice now, with HUGE results both times. The first time I was commissioned by my coworkers at the evening job. I made it, but told them I had to take a bigger slice of it to give to a particular boy, who in fact loved it. He told me that he shared the piece I gave him (because it really was a huge piece) with his friend that he lives with, and his friends wife. Apparently, his friend's wife is a really good cook, and according to Digger, she said it was the best cheesecake she's ever tasted. And he said that about it as well...so, I keep getting rave reviews on it. You should try it out too!!! Here you go:

Philadelphia vanilla mousse cheesecake

40 Nilla wafers, crushed
3 Tablespoons butter, melted
4 pkg (8 oz) cream cheese, softened
1 cup sugar, divided
1 Tablespoon plus 1 tsp. vanilla, divided
3 eggs
1 tub (8 oz) cool whip
**heat oven to 325. Mix wafer crumbs and butter. Press onto bottom of 9 inch springform pan. Beat 3 pkgs of cream cheese, 3/4 cup sugar and 1 Tablespoon vanilla will mixer till well blended. add eggs one at a time, mixing on low speed after each one till blended. pour over crust. Bake 50 to 55 min or until center is almost set. Run knife around rim of pan to loosen cake and cool in pan, completely. Beat remaining cream cheese, sugar, and vanilla in a large bowl till well blended. whisk in cool whip and spread over cheesecake. refrigerate for 4 hours. remove rim of pan before serving cheesecake.

An Answer to Prayers

As much as I would like to admit it, I actually struggle a lot with being single still at 26. Its something that frustrates me often. I feel like every time I actually meet someone that catches my attention, nothing ends up really happening and I end up in the same boat. This last week for some reason has been incredibly difficult. I spent a good portion of the week praying for guidance and comfort. I knew from Institute that conference would be a little more focused on those of us in our twenties that aren't married. I prayed to know what to do with my current situation. I couldn't listen to Saturday morning's session and only caught half of the second session because I had to work, but I knew I'd have all day Sunday and last night I prayed with all my heart for an answer. I knew it would come, but did not anticipate the emotion that hit me with it. When Elder Scott spoke, at one point he used the exact words I had uttered in prayer last night. And, as I quickly left the room in which I was watching conference with my parents because I am NOT a public crier (even in front of family), I got a text from a very good friend that simply said "love you" because I'm pretty sure she has been aware that I have not been okay lately.
     How grateful I am for a truly loving Heavenly Father who is so mindful of each of us. He loves and cares about each of us individually, and I am so amazed by His constant guidance. So often I wonder how He can do it. I am just one of billions of His children, yet He still takes the time to let me know that He cares about me and is always there to guide me through my life. I know that everyone is going to post about how amazing conference was, but I knew I would be ungrateful if I didn't thank my Heavenly Father for all the many talks He inspired to help me and those around me. I love Him with all of my heart. He truly is my best friend.

Eventually

So, its a little blurry because I took it with my phone, but this is probably my favorite necklace. It says "eventually" with a heart and a white pearl. When I first started wearing this necklace one of my coworkers read it and said "well that's a weird word to wear on a necklace" but, it actually means quite a bit to me. Eventually, my dreams WILL come true. Eventually, all the crazy drama of my life WILL calm down. Eventually, my prince will come (at the current moment I feel he is taking far too long, but I can't judge. Maybe he's helping some poor widow fix a fence or something completely noble...). Eventually, I won't be in school and I will be all educated and smart and stuff. Eventually, I will understand why I have to go through the trials and the emotional break downs and the fear that I am feeling right now. Eventually. Such a simple word to describe so much. A word that brings me a little bit of hope. And frustration. Because as I have previously mentioned, I am not a patient person. According to the plans I made for myself, I am WAY off course. I have learned that the plans I make for myself, by myself, is generally just wishful thinking.
    I have had a really awe-inspiring last couple of weeks in a few ways. They have also been the most emotionally draining weeks. I've had so much fun and had great times with great people. I have also been freaking out (internally, of course) about the future and what it holds for me. I have felt change coming for a little while now. It hasn't come yet, and I don't know exactly what it is, but it is coming and as much as I am looking forward to a new adventure, I'm also a little bit scared. However, I am doing the best I can with what I am given and that is the best I can do, right? Right. Eventually I'll have this all figured out...I hope...

Facebook Stalkers

I have noticed recently I have a couple of Facebook stalkers. There are two people in my ward that totally facebook stalk me ALL THE TIME...and it really wouldn't be hard for any of you who are my FB friends to figure out who they are since they comment on EVERYTHING I do....I guess I should be flattered, but at the same time, it kind of weirds me out a little bit. I don't like people paying that much attention to me...unless I call you Digger, then stalk me all you want.....ha ha ha, I'm just sayin...speaking of Digger...I'm going through withdrawls...I haven't seen him in over a week. He went to Arizona to work this week. :( sad day.
     I have had a surprisingly AWESOME week!!! All the stress and worry I've been dealing with the last few weeks is COMPLETELY GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOOOOOOOOOOOOORAY!!!!!!!!!!! I love my life. I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father and ALL that He has blessed me with lately. Its pretty much AMAZING!!!!

Something new, maybe a little bit different, but mostly good!

So, I bake and cook a lot, and generally that is an understatement. I LOVE cooking, it is sooooo relaxing for me! So, I am going to start throwing in some of the recipes I try as I find them. The first is called a Decadent Chocolate Cheesecake, and I really wish I remember what blog I got this from, I am sooo sorry, I will be better in the future! Any way, here is the recipe:

Decadent Brownie Swirl Cheesecake Recipe

• 16 Servings
• Prep: 30 min. Bake: 1-1/2 hours + chilling

Ingredients

• 1 package fudge brownie mix (13-inch x 9-inch pan size)
• 
  FILLING:
• 4 packages (8 ounces each) cream cheese, softened
• 1 cup sugar
• 4 eggs, lightly beaten
• 3 teaspoons vanilla extract or 1 teaspoon almond extract and 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• Fresh raspberries and chocolate curls, optional

Directions

• Prepare brownie mix according to package directions for chewy fudge brownies. Set aside 2/3 cup brownie batter; spread remaining batter into a greased 9-in. springform pan.
• Place pan on a double thickness of heavy-duty foil (about 18 in. square). Securely wrap foil around pan. Bake at 350° for 25-28 minutes (brownies will barely test done). Cool for 10 minutes on a wire rack.
• In a large bowl, beat cream cheese and sugar until smooth. Beat in eggs and vanilla on low speed just until combined. Stir 1/3 cup into reserved brownie batter; set aside. Spoon half the cheesecake batter into crust; dollop with half of reserved chocolate cheesecake batter. Repeat layers. Cut through batter with a knife to swirl the chocolate cheesecake batter.
• Place in a larger baking pan; add 1 in. of hot water to larger pan. Bake at 325° for 1-1/2 hours or until surface is no longer shiny and center is almost set.
• Remove pan from water bath and foil. Cool on a wire rack for 10 minutes. Carefully run a knife around the edge of pan to loosen; cool 1 hour longer. Refrigerate overnight. Remove sides of pan. Garnish with raspberries and chocolate curls if desired. Yield: 16 servings.

K, here are the things that I did not like about this recipe. I cooked the brownies until they were almost done, and I used a 9 in. pan, but when I took this cheesecake to a meeting I had, the brownie part was completely dough-y. I was SO disappointed. They cooked for over 2 hours, there is no reason those brownies should have been goo. It was a meeting of the RS Presidency and the EQ Presidency and all the guys said it was delicious and totally awesome (including Digger), but I was still disapointed. Next time (because I liked the taste, just not the gooeyness of it) I will try it in a 10in pan and I am going to cook the brownies longer in the pan before I add the cheesecake part to the top of it. The taste was good (where the brownie was not goo) it is SUPER rich, but I think with the modifications, a completely AWESOME cheesecake recipe!

Still alive...I think....

So, I am pretty sure I am still alive. I am not currently failing my Propaganda class, which is a shocker. I thought for sure I wasn't doing super well, but I actually did pretty awesome on my midterm. Heck yes. I had to turn in this massively huge paper, and that could have killed my grade. I'm hoping not though. We shall see. All I have to say is that I can not wait for this semester to be OVER. Oh my gosh, I have never been so stressed out in all of my life! School, plus all the work drama...I really want the work drama to end, but I don't think it will end until I don't work there anymore, and that will be the only way to get rid of it.
     Things are going well other than stress and drama. I don't have much of an update on anything yet, but I promise once I do, I will let you know. I am going to try and work on my book a little bit this weekend, but I don't know if I'll have time...this summer can't come fast enough!!!

Hermit

That's me...I'm a hermit this week. I did venture out to 30 minutes of FHE after spending roughly 35 minutes with my family for my dad's birthday. I wasn't going to FHE, and had even told Digger I wasn't going when he asked, he was a little surprised to see me, and then one of his new adoring fans came over to hover by him. He seems to have gotten quite a few new fans since Sunday..and why, you may ask? Because he just got a new calling. Yep, I called it at least 2 weeks ago. Digger is the new Elder's Quorum President. I figured it would be him. I was talking to one of the counselors in the RS Presidency about it because she didn't hear there had been a change. We all knew the change was coming as the last EQP is getting married in less than a week, but I was talking to Amber about it and she hasn't previously liked Digger very much, but as we talked about it, we talked about why Digger is in fact probably the best choice out of the guys in are ward, and here it is: Digger befriends everyone, but especially the guys that not a lot of people associate with; the guys that most people call weird. He's always reaching out to them (although, what does that say about me since he was the one that started talking to me months ago when he first came into the ward.......). But yeah, most of the ward didn't know who he was before last Sunday, and now everyone wants to be his best friend. Kinda makes me laugh, and I also find it a little annoying. I shouldn't be so selfish or self centered, but I liked that no one knew how awesome he was because then he and I would talk at church all the time and no one noticed or cared.
     Any way, that was a huge sidetrack to my original topic. I am a hermit because I have a MOUNTAIN of homework I've had to do this week. Its been a nightmare! Also, I've had super drama going on at my evening job and its one of those times where everything seems to be going wrong and you can't seem to do anything right, but when all is said and done really good things happen. I like to think its because of my patience and endurance...but this time I am just waiting for the really good stuff to happen, and I kind of feel like really good things are just around the corner for me. I hope so, because I could use a really really good thing in my life. Any way, I better get back to my 10 page paper on Immigration Propaganda...aren't you so sad you don't get to write one too?

Uncharted

This isn't so bad....oh wait, I've only jogged a block. Dang. How long is a 5K again? What was I thinking? I think my brother is trying to kill me...seriously....

     So, I was working on my homework (that seems to be never ending these days) yesterday and I heard the song "Uncharted" by Sarah Bareilles. Its goes something like this:

No words

My tears won’t make any room for ‘em.

Oh and it don’t hurt like anything I’ve ever felt before.

This is no broken heart no familiar scars

This territory goes uncharted.

Just me

In a room sunk down in a house

In a town and I don’t breathe

Though I never meant to let it get away from me

Now I have too much to hold

Everybody has to get their hands on gold

And I want uncharted.

Stuck under the ceiling I made I can’t help feeling

I’m going down

Follow if you want I won’t just hang around

Like you’ll show me where to go

I’m already out of foolproof ideas

So don’t ask me how to get started

It’s all uncharted.

Each day

I’m counting up the minutes ‘til I get alone

‘cause I can’t stay in the middle of it all

It’s nobody’s fault but I’m so low.

Never knew how much I didn’t know

Oh, everything is uncharted

Know I’m getting nowhere when I only sit and stare like

I’m going down

Follow if you want I won’t just hang around

Like you’ll show me where to go

I’m already out of foolproof ideas

So don’t ask me how to get started

It’s all uncharted.

Or, you can listen to it here:

Any way, back to the point of this post. I am going into uncharted waters, so to speak. My brother asked me last year if I wanted to run a 10K with him this summer. I thought that would be awesome, except I never started training for it. Crazy, I know. so, I have started training for a 5K, because I don't think I can run a 10K by the end of the summer, so I am planning on a 5K and we'll see what happens as the summer progresses. I'm kind of excited. I think this will be fun. I ran/walked 2 miles yesterday and listened to my new bff Sarah Bareilles pretty much the whole time. I like her new CD...its pretty good! So, here's to hoping I survive and I figure if I get really into this whole training thing, I will look amazingly gorgeous by the end of the summer, which is fantastic...not that I'm not already amazing (Bruno Mars tells me I'm amazing just the way I am all the time) and beautiful, but I think trying to improve yourself is always a worth while goal! So, here's to me!! HOORAY!!

Speed Dating

I don't know exactly what possessed me to come to this. Regional Activities and I do not have a good history. Plus, I doubt Digger will be there...so why should I go? ..... Wow, these "dates" seem to be taking forever. Hey wait a second...that looks like....no way! It totally is...I'm 2 "dates" away from Digger! Oh wow, I'm a little excited, I'm totally not gonna lie...is it bad I can't even remember the name of the guy sitting in front of me? Ha ha ha, I love that look that Digger just gave me...the 'I can't really talk to you from across the room, but I see you and this is me noticing you' look, yep, the same look I see every Sunday during Sacrament Meeting...

I honestly don't know why I went. My plan was to stay for a few minutes and then leave because I had TONS of homework to do. BUT, I went, and quickly realized that when you go to a speed dating activity, you are in it for the long haul. The one bright spot of the evening was when Digger was the guy sitting across from me, we had been texting earlier that day and kind of picked up the conversation from there. He's super busy for the next two weeks, so I probably won't be seeing much of him outside of church, but just as the buzzer was going off to switch dates, I said something to the effect of, "You know you want to hang out with me, and you know that you love hanging out with me." to which he replied "2 weeks, just 2 weeks" as he got up to move to the next girl. *sigh* I find it interesting that what I thought I knew about how Digger is around everyone is not necessarily how he is around everyone, so much as how he acts around me. For an example, I went to dinner tonight with my best friend. I haven't talked to her in months and I think I briefly mentioned to her who he was when I very first met him. Any way, she has two younger sisters in my ward that I talk to on a fairly regular basis. I thought they had met Digger, and I was pretty sure I remember them talking to him once or twice. Apparently not. Jen was telling me how one of her sisters mentioned that Digger has come up when I've been talking to them, and talked to me...and only me. I know he's an outgoing person, I see him talk to other people...maybe he just doesn't talk to everyone....but several people have mentioned that he goes out of his way to talk to me, or to at least let me know he sees me passing by. I really like that he notices when I pass by...any way...it just made me laugh that Jen had already heard some things about Digger. We had a good laugh, and she mentioned that she was glad he recognized that I am a truly awesome person (because why else would he go out of his way to get to know me, and talk to me). He is the one guy that I know doesn't come by just because I'm a fabulous cook. In fact last night he told me that every time I make my fabulous Chocolate tarts I ruin his diet, so he won't be coming by next time I make them...that's when I mentioned that he loves hanging out with me and he knows he really wants to hang out with me...ha ha ha. So funny! I spend a lot of time talking about Digger...sorry guys. He's kind of been on my mind a lot lately. He is a pretty fantastic guy, and hopefully in 2 weeks when I am done with midterms and he is done with whatever project he is working on for work we can get together and do something fabulously fun!! And I will post about it, I'm sure, because its going to happen! HOORAY! Somehow, it will happen.
      A few random/awkward moments from speed dating for you: One of my "dates" asked if I believe in kissing on the first date. That would be a NO...awkward! Another one of my dates felt it necessary to tell me that I am very tall, though how he could tell my height while I was sitting down is beyond me. One of my dates noticed I was wearing my Fray jacket (because Soozee + The Fray = AWESOMENESS) and asked me to sing one of their songs because he couldn't remember what they sang...yeah, NOT HAPPENING. I decided that it would be SUPER easy to tell any kind of lie you wanted to when speed dating. Had I been smart, I would have thrown on the accent and confused a bunch of people! I could have pretended to be from the south pacific or something since we have decided that my accent is not actually a British accent. Dang...I almost want to go speed dating again just to see how much fun I can have with those poor defenseless boys!! Bwa ha ha !!!! next time!!!

A few more details

So, what I didn't mention was a little more detail on the talking to Digger after the date part. Yeah, we talked for a few minutes, he knew at that point that I was not feeling super great and told me not to go to Salt Lake on Sunday morning (I was supposed to say good bye to a friend that is moved back to Texas) and I told him I wouldn't go if I still didn't feel well. He really didn't want me to go, kept telling me it wasn't worth it. Then he asked if I was coming to church, and I said I probably wouldn't if I didn't feel well, and he said if he didn't see me at church that he would call me after and make sure I was doing alright. And....he did call. He's a very sweet guy. The more I get to know him, the more I like him. I was reading in my journal yesterday from when I first started writing about him, which was a good 2 or 3 months after I met him...more of the trying not to jinx it, I think. And, its really nice to see that I still think the same of him that I did then. I still think he's a very genuine guy, he is generally very hilarious, when I talk to him, I feel better about myself, and I generally walk away wanting to be a better person...he brings out the best in me-I LOVE that. He's very outgoing (although, apparently he's only outgoing to people he knows...a bunch of my friends say he's never talked to them...but they haven't talked to him either...) and he cares, even if its just a little bit, about me. I say this because he called on Sunday when he didn't have to. He's asked several times if there's anything he can do to help me, and I really like that about him. BUT, having said all that, I am still not getting my hopes up. He cares, and I love it, and that is where things end. Right now, that's all that matters.

The Moment You've ALL Been Waiting For....

So...the big date has come and gone! I meant to post earlier, but I will explain why I didn't. So, we were supposed to go to Midway to see the ice castles, but it was snowing a lot up the canyon and we decided not to risk it. So, instead we made pizza at my house and then went to my brother's house to play games! It was a lot of fun and we got to chat and get to know each other better. I had worked an 8 hour shift at my second job that morning and had felt great. As I was getting ready, I kind of felt like I might be starting to get something, but didn't think anything of it and assumed it was just me freaking out or something...yeah, no. About half way through the evening I'm pretty sure I had a really awesome fever. It sucked! So, all through playing games I totally felt like I was going to die. So, the evening came to close and the other couple left and I got to talk to Digger for a few minutes, which was awesome! And then he went home and I woke up Sunday to feeling like I got hit by a bus...which is why I haven't posted until today! So, I hope you enjoyed my very brief summary of the evening! Sorry its not super detailed, but I still kind of feel under the weather and actually called in sick to both my jobs to just be sure I can feel better tomorrow.

Starting to get excited/freak out a little bit

Soooooooo.....that date with Digger....after MUCH effort the date has finally been rescheduled! HOORAY!!! AND, completely modified. The original plan was pizza and games at my house...but now we are going to Midaway where they have full size ice castles. I told Digger the plan and he was very excited to go. I'm just so excited! I will fill you all in after I actually go on the date...I'm trying to not jinx it or anything, because I REALLY REALLY want this date to go well! I am so excited to actually get to talk to Digger away from church, not on the phone, and for more than 30 minutes. AND, I will get to ask the questions this time. He has a habit of always asking me questions about myself, but not really elaborating much about himself. I do know that he is from Dallas, there are 7 kids in his family. He has compared my cooking to his mom's in a good way, he tells me on a fairly regular basis that I am either sweet or amazing...I don't really mind being called either. He uses words like "absolutely", "amazing", "wonderful", and "fantastic" about as often as I do, which I didn't think was possible. And, there is this sparkle in his eyes when he smiles that I absolutely love. I know, I know, I've got it bad for this boy...and I probably do. I've been fighting it hard to no avail. I even told Heavenly Father that I didn't want anything to do with Digger...however, as we can all see that didn't really happen. I worry a lot that I am just getting my hopes up and that they will get dashed to pieces. I try to stay calm and collected and not think about Digger very often. I am trying to focus on everything else in my life, and sometimes it works...sometimes it doesn't. For now, I'm just looking forward to this date. I am excited to get to know Digger better, and I know its going to be so much fun! Wish me luck, and prayers on my behalf are ALWAYS welcome!!! :)

Supposed to be....

I'm supposed to be super excited and kind of freaking out right now. But, I'm not. And why, you may ask? Because the date I was supposed to be going on tonight had to be rescheduled. The date with the man of my dreams had to be rescheduled! Bleh. I am more than a little disappointed. Stupid life, getting in my way! I hate it. BUT, at least it didn't get canceled...just postponed. And Digger still wants to go with me, which I am looking at as a positive thing here. I am going to go out on a little limb here and say that I think he may like me a little bit...lately its just seemed that way. Maybe I'm completely wrong and reading into everything way too much, like a true girl. But for now, I am going to go finish my stupid Propaganda homework, because apparently it doesn't finish itself...who knew?

Birthday fun!!

My birthday fell on Superbowl Sunday this year, so I decided that my actual birthday would be spent with my family as we are not big football watching people. So, the day before my birthday I spent with friends pretending it was my actual birthday! HOORAY!! I created the event on facebook, told all my friends that I wanted to come that I wanted them to come, and of everyone I invited (which was like 50 people or something) I really really REALLY wanted 4 particular friends there. Just 4 specific people, is that so much to ask? I don't think so, and they are the best of the best, you know? The day of the party arrived and tons of people were showing up, which was fun, but of those 4 people that I really wanted there, only 1 of them came. Just one of the four. SERIOUSLY. I was more than a little bummed. But, I made the best of it and had a fun night any way.
    My birthday has now passed, and I am the big 26! Hooray! I am officially closer to 30 than 20 now. That should scare me, but it doesn't. I think this year is going to be amazing. I just have this feeling that good things are about to happen in my life. I love it! Also, I have a super busy and productive week that should be amazing! I will blog about my week later though because I am supposed to be studying for my American Popular Music midterm that I have tomorrow. Wish me luck!!
     Oh, and my brother thought it would be awesome to give me a Jane Austen book for my birthday...do you know what he got me? Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. For real! I laughed so hard. It was awesome. He's a great brother. Also, I have to give a shout out to my sister in law for making my AMAZING cake, pictures of which I will post later! The cake was amazing, I looked amazing on my birthday and it was an all around great time with my family! I have a fantastically amazing family that always comes together to help celebrate the best of times! I love you all!!

Past revisited

So, remember Luke? Yeah, if not, you can refresh your memory here, or here, or here, yeah, and then he made that appearance at Ihop that one night...so I run in to him from time to time, and for whatever reason I've never been able to just delete him as my friend on facebook...but I don't really ever talk to him. I don't know...its like I am hoping that I will run into him again, or that by some miracle we might become better friends, I don't know, this all just sounds silly.
     Any way, I was hanging out with a couple friends from my ward and we all got a text from a mutual friend inviting us to a party at a former member of the ward's house. So, we decide to go and when we get there, I know most of the people which is nice. There are a couple of guys I don't know and they kept mentioning this Luke guy. I didn't think anything of it until we were playing a game and someone rang the bell. The host went to answer it and when he returned this guy was following him into the room. He looked an awful lot like Luke, and then it clicked that he WAS Luke!!! Craziness! So, Luke came and was playing games with us which was fun and he and I talked briefly. One of my friends, who I happen to have a hard time trusting right now, decided that Luke was just the most attractive guy ever and she kind of gave me curious glances when I would talk to him. Lets call her Amber, just for kicks. So, Amber thinks Luke is so cute and I shouldn't be surprised because she flirts with all the boys that she finds mildly attractive. But I liked that I actually had the advantage. And its not like I am super interested in Luke. But, after we were done playing games, I got to talk to him a little bit and it was tons of fun. I actually feel like we are actual friends, and not just random school acquaintances. He might come to my birthday party next week, which would be so much fun. But, to be absolutely, perfectly honest...I really really want Digger to come to my birthday party...even more than Luke. Ah, oh well. At least I'm not super awkward around Luke anymore, and I think he might actually come if I invited him to a game night or something. It was just so crazy to run into him tonight...

Ashamed

I'm ashamed to admit it, but I am addicted to Katy Perry's song FIREWORK...have you heard it? Its actually not a bad song...and there was no dirtiness to it...who knew Katy had it in her?

Dear Mr. Dean Carmichael,

Ok, so my birthday is approaching. Every year around my birthday since I was like 16 I write a letter to a particular guy...I don't know who he is. I am hoping that one day we will make each other very happy. I am hoping that day is sooner rather than later. You can mock if you want, but as I was talking to a friend about it earlier this week...its interesting to me to see how I have changed over the last 10 years. Interesting, no? I think it is. Its a good point to mark where I am at the moment I write the letter. When I started when I was 16, I talked mostly about myself. Since then, I have talked a lot about my dreams for the future, my frustrations with things not going the way I want them to or not, how amazing I am becoming (because lets be honest, I have become quite amazing over the last little bit!) I share these things in my letters because I can't actually share them with the future Mr. Carmichael. I actually address all letters to "dean" because I had a dream I married a guy named Dean, and since I don't usually remember names from my dreams, I decided to just keep that name in reference to the future Mr. Carmichael. And lets be honest, Mr. Dean Carmichael...that just sounds impressive. Maybe I'll change his name when I marry him...unless he has an even cooler name. but I just can't see that happening.
     Any way...I have been thinking about Dean a lot lately. I think part of it comes with my birthday coming yet again. Part of it could be that its another year, and I am not at all where I expected I would be in life. I don't know exactly what it is, but I feel like Dean is right around the corner. Its crazy. I guess time will tell.

A Fan-freakin-tastic Tuesday

So.....at first, I did not think that Tuesday was going to be so fantastic. In fact, I was kind of freaking out. The reason is not important. The freaking out is all that matters here. I went to my classes and ac

Yes, I ended that sentence up there in the middle of the word "actually". I did that because I actually started writing this post on Tuesday night, kind of late. I was waiting to hear from a friend. At that precise moment, I got a text from said friend...ok, it was Digger. Any way, he was stopping by...yes, it was late, but it takes us days to actually find a time that neither of us are busy. Any way, he stopped by and we talked. It dawned on me that night that I really really like him. This is very scary territory for me because I like him probably more than I have liked anyone. I love the way I feel around him. I always feel uplifted and that I am a better person. I tend to see things in a new way that I hadn't thought of before, which is awesome because I see things that I can change and improve on. This scares me because I don't generally trust people, and I really don't like to let them in...but somehow I let Digger in. I've let him in, and I trust him. Hence the hyperventilating in the corner with my paper bag in hand. I have been SERIOUSLY freaking out. When Digger was leaving he said that he really wanted to get together again this week, or this weekend sometime. So, I am really hoping he remembers that and gives me a call because I would love to hang out with him again.
    Any way...Tuesday ended up being such a great day. Not just because I got to see Digger, but also because my Institute class was amazing, as usual. I have this fantastic teacher that just brings the spirit in so strong, and has a way of saying exactly what I need to hear, exactly when I need to hear it. I love the gospel! Its so true! I don't even want to think where I'd be in life without it! Any way, I hope you all have a fan-freakin-tastic weekend! 

Yes, yes I did

I did in fact change the name of my blog. Sorry if it threw any of you off! But, I tend to talk a lot about my domestic skills a little bit more as of late...or maybe I should more often....I don't know, I guess we'll see....I'm off to make a cheesecake!

Check this out

So, my friend posted this on Facebook, and since most of you that I am aware of that read my blog write similar blogs to the ones talked about, I thought you might enjoy this article!

Enjoy! And I hope you are having a terrific Sunday! Apparently, I am amazing, and that just made my day!

A Quick Side Note

After a very emotionally unstable weekend, well...actually, its been an emotionally unstable like 3 weeks, but it all came to a boiling point this last weekend. Any way, after all of that, I wrote my last post and kind of freaked out, but I want you all to know that I am doing a lot better right now, and am loving my life...not so much the extreme tired I feel will hit me on Tuesdays since I am in class from 1:00PM to 8:30PM, roughly. But, all in all, I am finally settled into school, and loving it.
   Another side note I wish to express about my last post is the nickname of Andrew...it doesn't really fit him, so now I will be calling him Digger, which is a very strange nickname...I know that...but he's also earned it. So, I actually went back and changed Andrew's name to Digger in my last post and will be calling him that from now on in my blog...and in my phone...ha ha ha...good times!

Life Changing Decisions

Okay, so its really only one life changing decision, and I kind of already made it, I just wasn't sure for sure, for sure until Wednesday when I made the decision. So, I've been going to school for a while, right? Right. And, I was never really feeling like I was going anywhere with it until this week. In order to register for this semester (which started this last Wednesday) I had to talk to an academic adviser and declare a major. I thought I had declared English as my major like 3 times now...but alas, it apparently never stuck in their system. I tried and tried to get a hold of whoever I needed to to register before classes actually started, but that never happened. Thus, on the day classes started, I wasn't registered yet. I ended up (after a really very strange string of events) talking to an academic adviser over.....wait for it.....wait for it.......English Education!!! HOORAY!!! I'm going to teach annoying punk teenagers about literature and grammar, and all that fun stuff! Can you tell I'm excited? Maybe I'm not super excited yet, but teenagers just annoy me...its something I will have to get over. Then, on Friday I got all registered for this semester and ordered one of my books online. I feel really great about this decision, and about this semester. So far, 2011 has been pretty amazing! I have been feeling like great things are in store for me and I am looking forward with hope. When talking to said councelor, I found out I'm about 75% done with my Associates degree! That was a shocker for me. I thought I was forever away from it, but I'm not!
    Because I know that you are all dying to hear a complete update on my life, and because I haven't talked about guys in a really long time...I will update you. A while ago...maybe a month or two (I actually don't remember) this new guy moved into the ward. Lets call him Digger, for the sake of the story. Any way, I met Digger very very briefly his first Sunday in my ward because I meet everyone that comes to the ward. Its just how I roll...and I go to a "new member meeting" because I'm in the RS Presidency. Any way, Digger was new and I remember thinking that he seemed like a cool guy and I should get to know him better. Time passed and I didn't get to know Digger until recently. The more I get to know him, the more I like him. He seems like a great guy. Downfalls, though, are that he is shorter than me by about 3 or 4 inches. Not too bad, but still, its slightly noticeable
     Its funny, well not actually funny, maybe interesting? any way, I mentioned to a "good friend" in my ward that I kind of liked Digger, had a little bit of a crush on him. She mentioned that she really wasn't interested in him. Imagine, then, my surprise when the next time we are hanging out with Digger, she is practically throwing herself at him. Yay. This is my life, my friends. This happens to me all the time. You'd think I'd not hang out with people like this, but apparently I attract them. I always seem to find the friends like to hurt me. And I wonder why I have trust issues? Hmmm....strange, I know.
     Any way, Digger is becoming a good friend. I just hope he doesn't end up being a loser, idiot, or jerk like most guys I meet. He always comes and talks to me whenever I see him. He remembers all of our conversations. I don't know what to think of him, though. I think part of it is that I am just waiting for him to become a loser, idiot, or jerk. I don't want to let him into my life if he's going to end up hurting me (as most guys do, whether consciously or not). I'm just tired of the whole game. Its so annoying, and I am so sick of all the constant DRAMA. Its times like this that I wish I could go back to being a hermit. Being alone isn't entirely bad, you never get hurt that way.
     I feel like I am teetering on the edge of a cliff, and I'm trying to stay perfectly balanced on that edge. I feel like I have to come across as one type of person when I'm around certain people, but there are few people with whom I feel I can truly just be myself. Its frustrating and hard. I hate it. That should be on my list of things to change this year. I should just be myself. It has taken me 25 years to realize that I am a pretty great person, that I have so much to offer. I'm not saying this to be arrogant, but I have so much to offer, and I sell myself short ALL THE TIME. I need to do better at seeing myself the way my Heavenly Father sees me...if I could see myself that way, I might not be so quick to sell myself short. Its a never ending battle, isn't it. Something I think we all struggle with.
    Any way, enough of my ramblings and ventings! Thanks for listening, and I hope you all have a fantastic week! If anything new develops, I'll let you know!