Be Proud!!

Not only did I talk to Luke today (no, Luke is not his real name) but I invited him to come play games with me and some friends and he said he'd like to come and gave me his number so I can call and remind him...I'm so high up in the clouds right now, its not even funny. More details later, I have to run!

FINALLY!

I did it. I talked to Luke today. He was sitting there waiting for class. He was talking to someone and there wasn't an open spot except right next to him (which would have been SUPER awkward) so I walked passed again and sent a text to Fort asking her why I am such a wimp because he's sitting right over there. She told me to get up and go talk to him. So, I couldn't just go sit by him, that would have been very forward and lame. So, I walked down the hall, got a drink and then when I came back I sat in the chair next to him that was now empty. He took out his headphones and talked to me! YAY!!!!!! We talked for just a couple minutes and then I had to go get stuff ready for class (I'm the class president and have to get people assigned for devotional and stuff, so I have to get there early) so, I went in to class and set my stuff down on a chair and Luke came and sat on the row behind me and over a seat. My teacher had asked him and a girl from our class to read an article and then lead the class in a discussion on it. I was so impressed with Luke. He is an amazing guy. AND, he's older than me, which is awesome. I feel like all the guys I meet lately are younger than me...or married.
I'm tired of feeling old. I'm only 24! I shouldn't be feeling old yet! Yet, I look around all my classes in school and see all these 18 and 19 year olds and feel really old. I really didn't ever think I'd still be single at 24. Actually, according to my 10 year plan I started about 10 years ago, I was supposed to get married at 24. I have a few months still...ha ha ha...and my friend Lisa did have that dream last year...ha ha ha, just kidding. My mom would KILL me if I got married in the winter. She told me that  I'm supposed to get married in the spring/summer so I can have an outdoor reception in the backyard, which I think would be fabulous, if things work out that way. I don't know...all I really do know is that the Lord is preparing some guy for me that will be exactly what I need. I just have to remember to be patient and wait for him. It will happen exactly when its supposed to.

Thoughts for the Sabbath

First of all, I read this post today, and it made me cry. In a good way. WOW. I came accross this blog when my friend Ashley actually posted about a necklace a good friend of hers had given her from The R House. I looked at the necklaces and fell in love with one that says "hope" on it which I now own, and somehow I came across the actual blog for this amazing family. I have been following it on google reader, which is funny because I don't ever remember adding it to my subscriptions, but there it is and it has been one of the most faith promoting reads I have had in a while.
I went to the temple with my sister in law the other day and it was such a sweet experience. On the way there we both had mentioned that we were super busy that week and had more than enough reasons to cancel the trip, but we both made it. And it was AMAZING. I LOVE the temple, and the spirit that is there. I learn something new each and every time I go. I need to go more often. The Lord is truly there and hears and answers our prayers. I have had many things pressing on my mind and I have asked very specifically for answers to situations and trials I am going through. I finally felt at peace and the worry and doubt that had been racing through my mind distilled and was erased. There was only peace in my heart and in my mind. I know the Lord is in control and will help us through our struggles. I am so grateful for that.
In Relief Society today we had a lesson on Pres. Uctdorf's conference address from this last general conference. Another WOW. I LOVE the part that says:
"No, God does not need us to love Him. But oh, how we need to love God!
For what we love determines what we seek.
What we seek determines what we think and do.
What we think and do determines who we are—and who we will become."
It has really made me stop and think about what my goals and aspirations are for this life. I want to be a published author, but why do I want to be a published author? Is it for recognition? So people will see how wonderful I am? Or is it to help others? To uplift them? Or is it just to tell a story? Lots to think about. Man, I love the gospel of Jesus Christ, it is so amazing to me!!!

Oh the randomness!

"I shot for the sky
I'm stuck on the ground
so why do I try?
I know I'm gonna fall down
I thought I could fly
so why did I drown?
I never know why
its comin' down down down"
-Jason Walker, "Down" 


I felt like sharing a few random facts about me:
1. I constantly have stories going through my head, like ALL THE TIME...in fact its rare if I'm not either thinking about a story I've either just seen or read; or a story I've just made up and am thinking about. This is how Jason Tyde came into existence.
2. I am such a night person but force myself to get up in the morning...its not so fun, but it pays the bills
3. I hate tests, but actually enjoy going to class. If I could go to school just to learn, I totally would go for the rest of my life.
4. I have a tendency to go through friends like kids go through candy. Not that I am a bad friend, I just find the interesting people that need help and then after a time we go our separate ways. I have very few best friends, but if you make it to best friend status, its kinda like you're there for life.
5. I often dream about North Carolina, and there are often people I've never met in my dreams. I think that dreams can mean things, but I don't think most of mine do.
6. I don't generally like Vampire stories, but made a special exception for Twilight and Vampire Diaries. I still have issues with both series, as I have previously mentioned...
7. I am a hopeless romantic to the core. I try to not let it come out too strong and gooey in my stories, but I think it still does. Something I'm working on.
8. My first draft is ALWAYS craptastically cheesy...that's pretty much a guarantee. I have to do a lot of rewriting, but I do love to see something come together and actually sound good.
9. I own 4 pairs of Dr. Marten shoes and am OCD about keeping all of them polished at all times.
10. I love music and am always looking for new bands, despite what my brother thinks/says...I do listen to music other than the Fray. I love the Fray and I go through phases were I listen to them more often than not...but they aren't the "be-all-end-all-most-amazing-band-the-world-has-ever-seen" awesome band. If you're looking for something new, I would recommend: Matt Nathanson, Meese, Jack's Mannequin, The Script, or Matt Kearny. Pretty good stuff. My brothers would say it is totally "Soozee music" but, I like soozee music, so I can't really complain now can I?

I hope you enjoyed these 10 random facts about me. If you feel like sharing 10 facts about you, feel free to do so!

(Insert something witty here)

What to blog about...what to blog about....hmm....my life is boring, but I comment on that daily, so that wouldn't be a very good post....I could talk about TV Shows..no, I talk about those 89% of the time. Hmmm...
Last week was fall break. YAY! It was nice, except I still worked lots of hours and had lots of things I needed to get done. I did say good bye to a good friend I had made over the summer. She went on her mission and I know she will be a great missionary. It was fun to hang out with her, and no joke a week before she left she got a proposal from a friend she had back in school! Ha ha ha, it was so funny when it happened. Any way, I got a letter from her a couple of days after she left and I remember now why I like having friends on missions, because I get to write letters, which I do generally enjoy. Someone to tell my random stories to that will enjoy them because they are far away and enjoy a piece of something from home.
     I went and saw Where the Wild Things Are...it was okay...I fell asleep in the theater if that tells you how interesting it was...ha ha ha. Yeah, it was okay. I don't think its a must see, and I wouldn't take children to go see it. The wild things are constantly talking about wanting to eat Max and I realize they are "wild things", but I don't remember them being liket that in the book. Another example of how trying to take a beloved 15 page childrens book and trying to turn it into a full length film isn't always the best idea. Another example: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button...LONG and really pretty BORING. But, we did watch The Brother's Bloom...yeah, I liked taht one. Its a con man movie with Mark Ruffalo (who has a cameo in Where the Wild Things Are) and Adrian Brody (I think that's his name...) and one of the chicks from Definitely Maybe, but I don't remember her name. I mean it's no Ocean's 11, but it was still worth watching.
     I have discovered a couple of new artists, thanks to the few hours of TV I watch a week (we all knew eventually I'd be talking about TV...) I heard a couple of songs on VD that I absolutely LOVED and then went and found them on itunes. I discovered that one of them, All We Are, is by Matt Nathanson and I listened to a couple other songs on his CD and realized I'd heard many of them, and was already in love with like half the CD. He's got a more mellow tone, but I like it. And the other song was Down by Jason Walker, and it was also on VD, but I LOVE LOVE LOVE this song. Its mellow too, almost a little meloncholie. I have put together a new playlist on my itunes and I've been going through all my music to put together a list that I can listen to when I write. I walk around campus with headphones in generally because I don't have a lot of time to sit down and think through what I need to write, so I think as I walk and then when I get a minute I pull out my notebook and scribble down the notes I've been thinking through all day long. It makes things flow a little bit easier. So yeah, I like finding new music that I can listen to while I think and write.

"Keep holding on,

'cause you know we'll make it through

we'll make it through

Just stay strong

'cause you know I'm here for you

I'm here for you

There's nothing you can say

Nothing you can do

There's no other way when it comes to the truth

so keep holding on

'cause you know we'll make it through,

make it through"

-Keep Holding On, The Cast of Glee

Have you ever heard of the new TV show in Fox called GLEE? Its like High School Musical on crack...no joke. It can be inappropriate at times, I'm not going to lie, but for the most part its pretty funny. I am rather impressed with the cast though. AMAZING singers, they do a few different songs each episode and on itunes you can actually download them. The show airs on Wednesday nights and they release the songs for each new episode the day before the show airs. So, I was wandering through the itunes store being bored and came accross this weeks songs and listened to the preview for "Keep Holding On" and fell in love with it and downloaded it. I haven't seen the episode yet, but it is so good! I LOVE this song! I needed it today...its a good reminder when I'm struggling which happens on occasion. Maybe I should keep holding on and pray that I might get another golden opportunity to talk to Luke....

I can't believe I just did that...or that I DIDN'T just do that....

So, I pray about EVERYTHING...for real. I've been praying about everything since before my mission, but it definitely became a daily routine on the mission. And why not? Doesn't God know everything? And don't we just need to ask for it? It was Monday night and I knew that I had class on Tuesday and that Luke would be in class and I really want to get to know him better. He just seems like one of those really awesome guys.So, I was praying and asked Heavenly Father to please give me the opportunity to talk to Luke and become better friends with him because I think he seems like a great guy.
   I went about my day as usual, not really thinking about talking to Luke, but I got to school and headed up to the Institute building. I was a few minutes early (which is usual for me) and I walked into the foyer close to my classroom and there he was. Luke, who is not usually that early, was sitting all by himself on one of the couches. FOR REAL. I mean if Heavenly Father had sent a choir of angels and a light from heaven to shine down on him, it couldn't have been more obvious. I saw him sitting there and knew, I KNEW this was a direct answer to my prayer. There was no question in my mind about that,  but then all these doubts started to creep in, and I didn't want to seem to forward, so I did not go sit by him...that's right, I chickened out! I am still kicking myself. WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?!?!?!?! I can't even talk about it anymore, I am so dissapointed in myself...I'm going to go to bed and try to not think about it...