Something I just threw together a few minutes ago...

WARNING: As I did just throw this together, it may be INCREDIBLY cheesy...just sayin'...don't judge, okay?? Also, its kinda long...brace yourself...
I'm working on Changing Tyde again, now that I have time (HOORAY!!!) I feel as if I have been neglecting my characters, which is not a good thing. Fortunately Jason and Kyla are both patient people by nature so I'm sure everything will be fine. I have been e-mailing the lady from whom I won to have my manuscript evaluated which has been a learning and neat experience. Any way, here is an excerpt that happens just after Jason finds his wife cheating on him and he walks out, hops in his car and starts driving:

My phone started ringing again. It had been going off every few minutes since I left the house. It was the only register of time I had. Brooke kept calling over and over and over again. I finally took my stupid Blackberry and chucked it out the window, and pushed the gas pedal down a little further. It was close to 2:00 AM before I finally made it to the beach house. There were three messages on the phone there when I arrived. Without listening to them, I unplugged the phone and went straight up the stairs to bed. I was exhausted, I was already dragging when I had gotten home three and a half hours ago. The messages would be there in the morning. I could already guess who they would be from, Brooke, and Phil. I walked into the master bedroom, dropped my bags on the floor and didn’t bother to change my clothes. I took off my shirt and my shoes and crashed on the bed, not even bothering to get under the covers. I tried to turn my mind off and just sleep a long dreamless sleep…then maybe things would seem better in the morning. Maybe I’d wake to find the whole night had been a dream.
I opened my eyes and everything seemed so bright. I stood and realized I was in my beach house still, but things were different. Nothing was in its usual place, and the walls were a pale blue instead of the stark white Brooke was so fond of. I knew Brooke could not possibly be here because the tall windows were open. I could hear the ocean behind them and could feel the breeze as it gently moved the curtains in a soft swaying motion. I picked my white shirt up off the floor, put it on, but didn’t bother to button it up. The sun was streaming in from the East telling me it was early in the morning. I left my room and walked down the hall. I knew it was my house, but it didn’t feel the same as when I had walked in last night. I walked down the stairs and none of the furniture I was used to was in the house. Instead of the cream, white, and tan colors that Brooke preferred, everything was colorful. The furniture in the front room a vibrant spring green to go along with the cream and ocean blue stripes on the walls. All the wood was a light colored oak instead of the dark mahogany. I walked over to the mantel, which still contained pictures, but as I approached, I realized they were not the pictures I had been looking at last night. These were different. I picked up a frame with a few different pictures in it and examined them closely. I was shocked to see myself in them; one of me and a little boy running outside on the beach. One of me holding a baby girl with a bow in her hair, my head next to hers with an expression peaceful contemplation-not something I do often, especially lately. One with me holding a dark haired woman close to me…I couldn’t see her face, you could only see my profile next to her long dark hair. My eyes are closed and my expression is one of sheer joy. I can imagine the scene at which this picture is taken, but I have no actual memory of it. All I know is the feeling in my heart tells me how much I love the people in these pictures. It was strange, I looked so happy in these pictures. I looked like I belonged somewhere, instead of the stranger I currently felt like-even to myself.
Voices caught me off guard, I thought I was alone in some alternate universe. They are coming from down the hall where my office was supposed to be. I wanted to go listen to recognize them, but part of me just stayed where I was. This was all so surreal to me. I didn’t know what to think. An unconscious thought told me that the people here were my family, but logically it couldn’t be, because my family had fallen apart and I was lost and alone. I just stood there looking around my house when the voice from earlier that night returned, it was peaceful and simply urged, “Go see them, they are your family”. I hesitated slightly, but I finally turned and walked quietly down the hall. I heard soft whispers coming from what was supposed to be my office. I didn’t look in at first, I just stood outside the doorway listening. The voice was gentle, a woman’s voice. It sounded peaceful and welcoming. She was telling a story about a little rabbit who wished he had a pair of red wings, and the calamities that came when he got them. There was a second voice too, a little boy. He kept asking questions about the story. His mother, I assumed, answered them patiently and would continue with the story when he was appeased. My curiosity was starting to pique as I inched towards the doorway. I entered the room slowly, the little boy turned to see me immediately and I saw a head of dark spiky hair, accompanied with crisp ocean blue eyes staring at me with a gasp of excitement crossed his lips as he ran over and hugged me around the knees…
I gasped for air as I shot straight up on my bed. Everything had been so vivid, so real. I looked around, half expecting everything to be changed to how it had been in the dream, but no, everything was how I had left it. The stark white walls, the dark mahogany bed that stood out like a dark cloud on a sunny day. I sat there until my breathing calmed. I finally looked at the clock, it was 11:45 AM; time to face reality. I walked over to the windows and opened them. I picked my shirt up off the floor and started buttoning it as I walked out of the room and down the hall. I passed by a few pictures of me and Brooke that hung on the wall and paused for a moment. It was like comparing the difference between night and day when I looked at these pictures of me and Brooke in comparison to the girl I was with in my dream. I took the pictures off the wall and when I reached the bottom of the stairs with them, I dumped them all on the floor by the mantel determined to rid the house of any trace that Brooke was ever here. First, however, I knew I needed to call Phil and tell him to calm down because undoubtedly he would be near having a heart attack right now, if he hadn’t had one already.

So...What did you think? Let me know. I don't know if it will stay or not since I already have the other dream sequence with Kyla and Jake...I don't know, I just had to get it out of my head and onto paper. It might just be one of those scenes that stays with me and doesn't make it into the final manuscript.

I know that you are probably sick of reading, but quick update on me: I passed all my classes this last semester!!! I am so grateful for an ever mindful Heavenly Father for helping me through this one. I am taking a semester off to save up money so I don't have to worry so much about money when I go back. I still need to post a picture of my "new" car. Names that have been submitted so far: Button, Kris or Krista, The Original Ghetto Cruiser, and Steve. I like Button, but I just don't know if I want all my guy friends accusing me of naming my car butt (because they are childish and stupid and I know I need to find new friends...I'm working on it.)

I have given up on Luke. Having said that, funny story for you. I went to go see Avatar with a few of my brothers and my dad and on the way out (mind you, I was surrounded by my brothers and my dad) I thought to myself, "Wouldn't it be funny if I saw Luke here?" and then not a minute later I saw him waiting for someone! It was so funny. He saw me first and said "HEY!!" sounding rather surprised and I said "Hey Luke!!" and had to keep walking as I was in the midst of very fast walkers. My family generally walks at missionary speed, which is not conducive to stopping to have a conversation with someone. So yeah, it was cool. Sorry this post is FOREVER long, thanks for hanging in there, those of you that did!! YOU'RE AWESOME!!

It's Christmastime!!!

Okay, so I finished school (HALELUJAH!!!) and am praying this semester went better than last, but we will see. It is Christmas this week, which is awesome and I am super excited! I love spending the holidays with my family! They rock!!
     So, remember in the spring when I posted about my BFF Tex?? If not, here's a refresher.  So, once again I am faced with a whole new set of people that had no clue my best friend was a guy as of a week ago. I got to hang out with Tex for the first time since March and all my coworkers at my morning job are convinced that I must be in love with him because heaven forbid my best friend be a guy. They didn't even know he existed a week ago. So crazy.
    Any way, I am doing good. I have a new car now since Cecil is dead. Its a Toyota Tercel, formerly known as The Ghetto Cruiser. I'm taking suggestions for new names. I will take a picture soon and post it so you know what kind of car I'm talking about. Its a manual car, and I've only ever really driven an automatic. Its been an adjustment. My first day driving to work  in my new car I was stuck in stop and go traffic...yeah, I stalled my car in the middle of I-15. AWKWARD!!! Bet you can't beat that for awkward car experiences!!

Notebooks are for notes, not for kissing...

Okay my twilight friends, and even for those of you who hate it bitterly, I doubt that any of you will be able to keep from laughing even a little bit from this:


HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA, that was so funny.

PS: I'm now done with finals and FREE AT LAST!!! HALLELUJAH! I will update soon, I promise!!!

Today is the first day of life on a new horizon

November is seriously not my month. This time last year give or take a week or two I got laid off...for real that time. I didn't know what I was going to do. I ended up working 2 part time jobs at lesser pay than I was making. It was not fun, and I really dreaded going back to the good ship, but it was the only option I had left. I was truly blessed that I was able to find a couple of jobs so quickly and not really skip a beat. I know that the Lord needed me where I am now so that I could help people, and it has been one of the greatest blessings of my life. I have met some of the greatest people through both of my jobs. A wonderful blessing in disguise.
    Today, November 23, 2009, is a day I will not soon forget either. I was driving to work and was involved in a car accident, totalling my car. Cecil, as he was called, passed away about 7:50 ish AM. No one was hurt, thankfully. My knee is bruised pretty bad, but that's it. My first thought was concern for my car because I knew that I can't really afford a new car right now. I'm trying to get through school and everything has been really stressful for me lately. But, everything is going to work out. I called my sister, who is literally my own personal angel, and she came to help me out. She has been the greatest blessing in my life, from the very begining. I will always be grateful that she is my sister. She has an extra car that she is letting me borrow (see, angelic!) so me and George (my sister's car) are becoming good buddies for a little while until I can figure out what to do for a car.
    I had a paper due in Spanish today, so I took it in, got a temporary parking pass for George and went to Institute. I was sitting there while our substitute in Institute was going on and on and on about how 50 minutes just isn't enough time to do the first 5 chapters of Revelation justice. I'm trying to keep my knee away from anything because it is very sore and at this point I don't know if anything is broken or if its just bruised. The thought keeps coming to mind "go see if Bro. Hunter is in his office" over and over again. When class was about half way over I finally heeded the thought and left my class. Bro. Hunter is my other institute teacher on Tues/Thurs and I really didn't expect to find him in his office, but I went any ways. He was there and was talking to a couple of students when I came by. I asked if he had a minute and he said he would shortly. When he came back to his office, I sat down and explained that I had been in a car accident and was hoping to get a blessing before I went to see the doctors. He very kindly said that wouldn't be a problem and got one of his students that was passing by to come help him. It was one of the most amazing blessings I've ever been given and it completely strengthened my testimony in the real and true power of the priesthood. Not only did it bring peace and understanding to everything I was dealing with in dealing with the accident, but I was also given very specific answers to some of my prayers that have been between just me and the Lord, I hadn't told anyone else. It was powerful. I was so grateful I went and got that blessing.
    Isn't it so funny how one split second can have such a profound impact on your day, and your life. Everything can change in just one split second. I am just so grateful that I am okay and that no one was seriously hurt today. The Lord was truly watching over me.

Midnight Movies and Such

Yesterday was a very Vampire-y day. After racquetball I watch VD, which was awesome...I LOVE that show! and then I met up with some friends and waited for 2 hours in the FREEZING cold to watch New Moon at midnight. I'm still cold, just thinking about it. brrrrrrr. I got to chat with a friend from one of my old jobs, which was fun. I was so hyper, even though it was so cold. I was still shivering uncontrollably halfway through the movie...but then after it was over we got back into my friends super awesome car with heated seats and warmed right up.
    Now to my opinion of the movie. I liked it. I liked it a lot.  I HATED Jacob in the books, in the movies I understood him and actually felt like he needed a hug at a couple points. I still don't think Kristen Stewart can act, and I still don't think that Robert Pattinson is more attractive than Paul Wesley (who I think would have been and AWESOME Edward, but that's okay because he's a much cooler vamp on VD any ways) but I was grateful that the cut Edward's hair! So he actually looked somewhat normal. And there was no awkward studdering in this one either. It drove me crazy in the first one to have them not be able to complete a coherent sentence. There was some awesome action in this one and although  They did a good job on this one, in my opinion, and I am glad because if it was like Twilight, I don't think I could have handled anymore. I can't wait for Eclipse to come out next June!! (Eclipse was my favorite of the series any way)
     Um, on a completely different note, AHG called me today, which was fun. I like talking to him as a friend...emphasis on FRIEND. I might get to hang out with Luke this weekend and I actually held a conversation that lasted more than 2 minutes with him (Luke) which was AWESOME!!!! Lets pray that everything works out well for Sunday. I really want to hang out with him, and get to know him better!!!

Patience is a virtue that I happen to lack

I am learning to be patient. I don't feel like I should give up on Luke just yet. I think something could happen there...I just have to be patient. Something that doesn't come easily with being the youngest...I've never been very patient. That's probably why the Lord has been so insistant that I learn this wonderful and amazing virtue so thoroughly. Yay. But in the end it will be worth it.
     Random fact for you...before this week I had never waxed my eyebrows...I don't know why I never did, but I absolutely love how my eyebrows look now...I am so lucky to have an AMAZING best friend who happens to teach at a cosmotolgy school up in Salt Lake. She is the only one I let cut my hair (because it always looks FABULOUS when she's done with it) and she pretty much ROCKS.
    I went to lunch with AHG (I know, its been FOREVER since I mentioned him, but there you go) and I was telling him how I have issues talking to guys and he said "Yeah, but you have no problems talking to me" to which I kindly replied, "Yeah, because I'm not interested in you..." his face was quite priceless. A few of my coworkers said they would have paid good money to see his face at that moment. Don't get me wrong, he's a nice guy...he just thinks he Mr. Fantastic and Wonderful. He thinks he can get any girl he wants...but now he know's he'll never get this girl.
     Any way, praryer works, school is still hard (although I did get the highest score I've ever gotten on a biology test today WOOT WOOT!!) and I have been sucked into watching Veronica Mars and I love it.

Music of the Heart

Back in the day, a long long time ago, before I knew who The Fray was...I was a HUGE Josh Groban fan. I mean HUGE. I LOVED his music. I even went to his concert the day before my 19th birthday and my awesome room mate at the time gave me her seat that was 3 rows from the front on the floor. Like right next to the stage. I almost touched him. At the time it was like my life's greatest achievement. W-O-W. I was a freak. I mean I still listen to his music. Some members on my mission gave me his Christmas CD the year it came out, and saved my sanity from completely disappearing. In fact, that is the main Christmas CD I still listen to when I feel so inclined to listen to Christmas music. I bring all this up because I was on Facebook today and since I'm a fan of Josh Groban on Facebook, they sent me a notification that Josh Groban has redone his website and to go check it out. Since I was sick of looking at my biology book and had a spare minute, I went to check it out and took a walk down memory lane of my freshman year of college. I'm sure Meredith remembers all this, as she was my room mate at the time.
    It is interesting to me to see how people influence my taste in music. For most of my life my brother B had a HUGE influence on what I liked, which is odd because we didn't really get along until I lived in Logan. But yeah, U2, Smashing Pumpkins, Depeche Mode, etc. were all bands that my brother liked, so I liked them too. Except now I actually do like them. Not just because my brother does.
    Then I moved away from home and went to college and met some really awesome friends. It was amazing and was introduced to all kinds of new music and because of those friendships, I am now a huge fan of Josh Groban, THE FRAY, Jack's Mannequin, Meese, Yellowcard, Maroon 5, Paramore just to name a few. And really, it has just been in the last few years that I have really realized how much I rely on music everyday. I have to have it on when I write (or I go crazy and people end up dead in my stories). I listen to music when I cook, when I scrapbook, when I drive, whenever its quiet, I just need sound.
    Any way, I hope you all have a fabulously, music filled week!

I won't let myself get dissapointed.

 "Every time you smile, I smile

Every time you shine, I'll shine for you

Don't be afraid to jump then fall,

Jump then fall into me"

-Jump Then Fall by Taylor Swift

Luke had a family thing come up, so he couldn't come play games with us last night. But he told me to call him next weekend and we'd hang out. So, I'm not thinking I totally just got shafted. I have class tomorrow, so we will see how things go.
    On un-boy-related news, I downloaded Taylor Swift's "Fearless" Platinum albumn last week and absolutely LOVE the 6 new songs she added to the CD. Oh my gosh, I am in love with 2 of the songs, "Jump and Fall" as well as "The Other Side of the Door". I have them on repeat on my ipod, which means they will probably break into the top 25 songs in no time, which is a little sad because in order to break into my top 25 playlist, a song must be listened to at LEAST 100 times. Yep. That's a lot of listens. I think the quickest any song jumped onto the list was "All We Are" by Matt Nathanson, and that was like 3 weeks ago. I LOVE that song, still, and I won't even admit how many times I've listened to it....

Be Proud!!

Not only did I talk to Luke today (no, Luke is not his real name) but I invited him to come play games with me and some friends and he said he'd like to come and gave me his number so I can call and remind him...I'm so high up in the clouds right now, its not even funny. More details later, I have to run!

FINALLY!

I did it. I talked to Luke today. He was sitting there waiting for class. He was talking to someone and there wasn't an open spot except right next to him (which would have been SUPER awkward) so I walked passed again and sent a text to Fort asking her why I am such a wimp because he's sitting right over there. She told me to get up and go talk to him. So, I couldn't just go sit by him, that would have been very forward and lame. So, I walked down the hall, got a drink and then when I came back I sat in the chair next to him that was now empty. He took out his headphones and talked to me! YAY!!!!!! We talked for just a couple minutes and then I had to go get stuff ready for class (I'm the class president and have to get people assigned for devotional and stuff, so I have to get there early) so, I went in to class and set my stuff down on a chair and Luke came and sat on the row behind me and over a seat. My teacher had asked him and a girl from our class to read an article and then lead the class in a discussion on it. I was so impressed with Luke. He is an amazing guy. AND, he's older than me, which is awesome. I feel like all the guys I meet lately are younger than me...or married.
I'm tired of feeling old. I'm only 24! I shouldn't be feeling old yet! Yet, I look around all my classes in school and see all these 18 and 19 year olds and feel really old. I really didn't ever think I'd still be single at 24. Actually, according to my 10 year plan I started about 10 years ago, I was supposed to get married at 24. I have a few months still...ha ha ha...and my friend Lisa did have that dream last year...ha ha ha, just kidding. My mom would KILL me if I got married in the winter. She told me that  I'm supposed to get married in the spring/summer so I can have an outdoor reception in the backyard, which I think would be fabulous, if things work out that way. I don't know...all I really do know is that the Lord is preparing some guy for me that will be exactly what I need. I just have to remember to be patient and wait for him. It will happen exactly when its supposed to.

Thoughts for the Sabbath

First of all, I read this post today, and it made me cry. In a good way. WOW. I came accross this blog when my friend Ashley actually posted about a necklace a good friend of hers had given her from The R House. I looked at the necklaces and fell in love with one that says "hope" on it which I now own, and somehow I came across the actual blog for this amazing family. I have been following it on google reader, which is funny because I don't ever remember adding it to my subscriptions, but there it is and it has been one of the most faith promoting reads I have had in a while.
I went to the temple with my sister in law the other day and it was such a sweet experience. On the way there we both had mentioned that we were super busy that week and had more than enough reasons to cancel the trip, but we both made it. And it was AMAZING. I LOVE the temple, and the spirit that is there. I learn something new each and every time I go. I need to go more often. The Lord is truly there and hears and answers our prayers. I have had many things pressing on my mind and I have asked very specifically for answers to situations and trials I am going through. I finally felt at peace and the worry and doubt that had been racing through my mind distilled and was erased. There was only peace in my heart and in my mind. I know the Lord is in control and will help us through our struggles. I am so grateful for that.
In Relief Society today we had a lesson on Pres. Uctdorf's conference address from this last general conference. Another WOW. I LOVE the part that says:
"No, God does not need us to love Him. But oh, how we need to love God!
For what we love determines what we seek.
What we seek determines what we think and do.
What we think and do determines who we are—and who we will become."
It has really made me stop and think about what my goals and aspirations are for this life. I want to be a published author, but why do I want to be a published author? Is it for recognition? So people will see how wonderful I am? Or is it to help others? To uplift them? Or is it just to tell a story? Lots to think about. Man, I love the gospel of Jesus Christ, it is so amazing to me!!!

Oh the randomness!

"I shot for the sky
I'm stuck on the ground
so why do I try?
I know I'm gonna fall down
I thought I could fly
so why did I drown?
I never know why
its comin' down down down"
-Jason Walker, "Down" 


I felt like sharing a few random facts about me:
1. I constantly have stories going through my head, like ALL THE TIME...in fact its rare if I'm not either thinking about a story I've either just seen or read; or a story I've just made up and am thinking about. This is how Jason Tyde came into existence.
2. I am such a night person but force myself to get up in the morning...its not so fun, but it pays the bills
3. I hate tests, but actually enjoy going to class. If I could go to school just to learn, I totally would go for the rest of my life.
4. I have a tendency to go through friends like kids go through candy. Not that I am a bad friend, I just find the interesting people that need help and then after a time we go our separate ways. I have very few best friends, but if you make it to best friend status, its kinda like you're there for life.
5. I often dream about North Carolina, and there are often people I've never met in my dreams. I think that dreams can mean things, but I don't think most of mine do.
6. I don't generally like Vampire stories, but made a special exception for Twilight and Vampire Diaries. I still have issues with both series, as I have previously mentioned...
7. I am a hopeless romantic to the core. I try to not let it come out too strong and gooey in my stories, but I think it still does. Something I'm working on.
8. My first draft is ALWAYS craptastically cheesy...that's pretty much a guarantee. I have to do a lot of rewriting, but I do love to see something come together and actually sound good.
9. I own 4 pairs of Dr. Marten shoes and am OCD about keeping all of them polished at all times.
10. I love music and am always looking for new bands, despite what my brother thinks/says...I do listen to music other than the Fray. I love the Fray and I go through phases were I listen to them more often than not...but they aren't the "be-all-end-all-most-amazing-band-the-world-has-ever-seen" awesome band. If you're looking for something new, I would recommend: Matt Nathanson, Meese, Jack's Mannequin, The Script, or Matt Kearny. Pretty good stuff. My brothers would say it is totally "Soozee music" but, I like soozee music, so I can't really complain now can I?

I hope you enjoyed these 10 random facts about me. If you feel like sharing 10 facts about you, feel free to do so!

(Insert something witty here)

What to blog about...what to blog about....hmm....my life is boring, but I comment on that daily, so that wouldn't be a very good post....I could talk about TV Shows..no, I talk about those 89% of the time. Hmmm...
Last week was fall break. YAY! It was nice, except I still worked lots of hours and had lots of things I needed to get done. I did say good bye to a good friend I had made over the summer. She went on her mission and I know she will be a great missionary. It was fun to hang out with her, and no joke a week before she left she got a proposal from a friend she had back in school! Ha ha ha, it was so funny when it happened. Any way, I got a letter from her a couple of days after she left and I remember now why I like having friends on missions, because I get to write letters, which I do generally enjoy. Someone to tell my random stories to that will enjoy them because they are far away and enjoy a piece of something from home.
     I went and saw Where the Wild Things Are...it was okay...I fell asleep in the theater if that tells you how interesting it was...ha ha ha. Yeah, it was okay. I don't think its a must see, and I wouldn't take children to go see it. The wild things are constantly talking about wanting to eat Max and I realize they are "wild things", but I don't remember them being liket that in the book. Another example of how trying to take a beloved 15 page childrens book and trying to turn it into a full length film isn't always the best idea. Another example: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button...LONG and really pretty BORING. But, we did watch The Brother's Bloom...yeah, I liked taht one. Its a con man movie with Mark Ruffalo (who has a cameo in Where the Wild Things Are) and Adrian Brody (I think that's his name...) and one of the chicks from Definitely Maybe, but I don't remember her name. I mean it's no Ocean's 11, but it was still worth watching.
     I have discovered a couple of new artists, thanks to the few hours of TV I watch a week (we all knew eventually I'd be talking about TV...) I heard a couple of songs on VD that I absolutely LOVED and then went and found them on itunes. I discovered that one of them, All We Are, is by Matt Nathanson and I listened to a couple other songs on his CD and realized I'd heard many of them, and was already in love with like half the CD. He's got a more mellow tone, but I like it. And the other song was Down by Jason Walker, and it was also on VD, but I LOVE LOVE LOVE this song. Its mellow too, almost a little meloncholie. I have put together a new playlist on my itunes and I've been going through all my music to put together a list that I can listen to when I write. I walk around campus with headphones in generally because I don't have a lot of time to sit down and think through what I need to write, so I think as I walk and then when I get a minute I pull out my notebook and scribble down the notes I've been thinking through all day long. It makes things flow a little bit easier. So yeah, I like finding new music that I can listen to while I think and write.

"Keep holding on,

'cause you know we'll make it through

we'll make it through

Just stay strong

'cause you know I'm here for you

I'm here for you

There's nothing you can say

Nothing you can do

There's no other way when it comes to the truth

so keep holding on

'cause you know we'll make it through,

make it through"

-Keep Holding On, The Cast of Glee

Have you ever heard of the new TV show in Fox called GLEE? Its like High School Musical on crack...no joke. It can be inappropriate at times, I'm not going to lie, but for the most part its pretty funny. I am rather impressed with the cast though. AMAZING singers, they do a few different songs each episode and on itunes you can actually download them. The show airs on Wednesday nights and they release the songs for each new episode the day before the show airs. So, I was wandering through the itunes store being bored and came accross this weeks songs and listened to the preview for "Keep Holding On" and fell in love with it and downloaded it. I haven't seen the episode yet, but it is so good! I LOVE this song! I needed it today...its a good reminder when I'm struggling which happens on occasion. Maybe I should keep holding on and pray that I might get another golden opportunity to talk to Luke....

I can't believe I just did that...or that I DIDN'T just do that....

So, I pray about EVERYTHING...for real. I've been praying about everything since before my mission, but it definitely became a daily routine on the mission. And why not? Doesn't God know everything? And don't we just need to ask for it? It was Monday night and I knew that I had class on Tuesday and that Luke would be in class and I really want to get to know him better. He just seems like one of those really awesome guys.So, I was praying and asked Heavenly Father to please give me the opportunity to talk to Luke and become better friends with him because I think he seems like a great guy.
   I went about my day as usual, not really thinking about talking to Luke, but I got to school and headed up to the Institute building. I was a few minutes early (which is usual for me) and I walked into the foyer close to my classroom and there he was. Luke, who is not usually that early, was sitting all by himself on one of the couches. FOR REAL. I mean if Heavenly Father had sent a choir of angels and a light from heaven to shine down on him, it couldn't have been more obvious. I saw him sitting there and knew, I KNEW this was a direct answer to my prayer. There was no question in my mind about that,  but then all these doubts started to creep in, and I didn't want to seem to forward, so I did not go sit by him...that's right, I chickened out! I am still kicking myself. WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?!?!?!?! I can't even talk about it anymore, I am so dissapointed in myself...I'm going to go to bed and try to not think about it...

Vampire Diaries revisited

I felt the need to clarify after my last post about the new vampire show, Vampire Diaries. I mention Ian Somerhalder and although I think he's kinda funny on the show, I am not on the Team Damon bandwagon, I am most definitely Team Stefan...and lets be honest, if I had to choose between Jacob, Edward, Damon or Stefan... I would choose Stefan hands down. In the books he got a little annoying, just like Edward. There are 3 things I have been annoyed with in reading the two vampire series that I have. #1: If you're a vampire guy and you're going to date human girls, accept the fact that them being around you is going to cause trouble, and that eventually you're going to have to turn them into vampires, or drink their blood. Its just a fact. #2: Why are these guys so annoying when it comes to their girlfriends? I would go CRAZY if my boyfriend was that possesive of me. Yes, I realize they want to protect their girls, but ease up a little bit. You can't be there all the time, they're going to have to live a little bit even if their world does revolve around you! and finally #3, and one of my brother's backs me up on this point: I realize they are trying to make vampires good guys by having them not kill people to get blood, but it seems to me that for the most part it doesn't matter where the blood comes from, just so long as they drink it...have you ever heard of a blood bank? HELLO, just go steal some blood (. In both series, theft isn't the worst thing any of them do! And you can be sneaky about it. Then no human or animal has to die in the process, so really you're saving and protecting people's lives. But no, they always have to drink animal or peoples blood. I think its dumb. And now I'm done ranting about vampires and why I have issues with vampire books.

MY 100th POST!!!!

I let the music continue to play as I walked into class ignoring all the people as I walk past. I generally turn my music off before I walk into class, but it was a good song, "I can't wait for One Republic's new CD" I think to myself as I listen to the first single I have recently downloaded from itunes.I sit on the right hand side of the class, not my usual side of the room. I remember after a moment that I need to mark the role. I look back and who should be there, but Luke! Yes, I definitely need to go mark the role, like now...and maybe, just maybe I might actually have the courage to say hi to him or something...

Don't you feel just so special that I chose to share this special moment with you? You should! Ha ha ha, but this is actually going to be a quick post because I have to get to bed.
    Um, so school has been entertaining lately. I always sit in the same spot in one of my institute classes, and mix it up in the other one. This week in both classes I have sat by some of the cutest guys I have ever seen...EVER. No joke. AND, you should all be proud of me because I actually TALKED to them! YAY! The first couple of guys I talked to I have started to become friends with and one of them asked if I was going to the dance this friday night....remember my take on dances? If not, lets refresh your memory...ha ha ha...good times. But yeah, so I told him I don't generally go, but I was still thinking about it and then I got 2 wristbands to get in (because there is no way on this green earth that I will set foot into that gym alone) and left class. Then, today I went to my other institute class and sat in a place I hadn't sat in a while and then remembered I needed to go mark the role, so I get up and have to wait for this other guy to mark the role. For the stories sake, lets call him Luke. So, Luke is a pretty shy guy, and my teacher has pointed him out a few times because he works in the temple with my teacher on Friday nights. He is about my height and is super cute and I have talked to him like once before. So, I said hi and we talked for a minute, and then he came and sat down in the row behind me. I definitely need to get to know him better! My teacher keeps offering to set him up with any girl in the class that's interested, but that is just lame and awkward.
    Okay, I promised this would be short, so I'm going to go...

I want to do better

There are a lot of things I can't do very well. I am aware of this (keeping an updated blog is probably one of them.) But I want to do better at these things I am really not doing good at. I know that they are important, so it is my goal to do better starting now.
    I have been thinking a lot about the future lately. Not that I am not loving living in the present, but I am trying to give myself the best possible future I can. I am trying to set things up now for a better future when it comes. I don't want to goof off and waste my time now and then regrett it later. I already have enough regrets, I don't want to add to the pile, I want to make that pile as small as possible!
    About a week and a half ago I went to a writer's conference with one of my many brothers. It was a lot of fun and I actually won something! I never win anything, so it was quite excited, and on top of that it was to get a manuscript edited for free! I was, and still am, quite exstatic about it. It was like a little glimmer of hope in my rather dismal present. I LOVE writing, if you hadn't noticed, and I truly love the stories I tell. Changing Tyde is one of my favorite stories and I feel like those characters are so real to me. I have been scared I would never finish it, let alone get it published. I know how hard it is to get published and I have let that fear consume me. But at the moment I have found hope again! I want the world to know who Jason Tyde is and what makes him such an amazing guy-even if he is fictional. Jason is the type of guy you want to look to because although he has made mistakes, he's trying his best to make up for them. It would be sad to me if no one ever knew who Kyla Sorenson is because she is so strong, and despite what B may say, she is not me...or Bella (she's not as annoying as Bella).  I lack the courage that she does. She is not afraid to speak her mind or stand up for what she truly believes in. I, along with so many others, can learn so much from her.
     It is easy for me to get discouraged and want to give up. I don't like this about myself (hence, something I want to do better at). I struggle a lot of times with feeling overwhelmed and I am so grateful for my amazing family that keeps me going (that would be like 80% of you that read this) and the few friends I have left are a great help too. I know that I can achieve my dreams! I know that I can finish this book!
    I was so grateful for Pres. Uchtdorf's talk yesterday morning in general conference, it was like it was written for me specifically! I love it when we recieve answers to our prayers like that! One thing I have learned this semester in school is that Satan wants so much for us to think poorly of ourselves and to doubt who we are, and who we have always been. We can not forget that we are literal sons and daughters of God, and as such we are entitled to promised blessings. I have felt the love of my Father and my Savior so much recently, I can't express my gratitude. I kinda feel like I am jumping around here, so sorry if it makes absolutely no sense at all. Its just a collection of my random thoughts that I felt I should share with you all!

And I'm back!

Everyone talks about seeing their life flash before their eyes, or seeing a bright light just before they die. Maybe it was the fact that I didn't exactly die, but all I saw was what could have been slip through my fingers as I saw Jake look at me one last time. I didn't hear or feel the impact, I didn't see Jake's side of the car get smashed, all I saw was what I knew my life could have been play out before my eyes and I knew somewhere in the back of my mind that I would never have that life, nothing would ever be the same again. - Kyla in Changing Tyde

It's been a while...sorry about that. I'm sure you're just DYING to know every little detail of my life...ha ha ha! That's almost funny, I know! Um, lets see here, I am back in school and still working 2 jobs. That's lots of fun. This last week has been a little bit rough, but its all good, its over now, HOORAY! I am taking a couple of Institute classes, which have proven quite interesting. I took one of them (The Atonement, Repentance, and Forgiveness) because the teacher is a great teacher that I've had for other classes, and the second I took (New Testament, Acts to Revelations) because I'd never taken it before. I thought the NT class would be the one with more people and really cute guys in it that I would like best, but I was quite wrong.

This semester is proving to be a very interesting one and I am very excited to see what happens. I am taking Spanish, Biology (because oh yeah, I failed it last semester...) and Racquetball, which I am really not very good at yet.

Okay, so I was looking at the new shows coming out this season and saw a bunch that looked lame *cough* Melrose Place *cough* and saw a show called the Vampire Diaries...first thought was "Oh my gosh, how lame...let the stupid vampire trend die already!" but then I was just a little bit curious, so I downloaded the pilot episode for free off itunes, thinking it was definately going to be some lame twilight wanna be show...but I was wrong. I watched it with Fort, who wanted to see it because Ian Somerhalder from Lost was in it, and my brother was down that night too, so he watched it with us. I must preface this story with the fact that this particular brother HATES twilight, and all things associated with it. For whatever reason he did watch it with us and although he wasn't super impressed with it, he said it was an alright show, not something he'd watch. But the fact that he of all people didn't think it was twilight-y made me happy and in my book made it okay to watch :)...he's probably reading this and rolling his eyes, but that's okay, he's still cool. But yeah, I liked the show, its not for everyone, but don't expect it to be all twilight-y. Ian Somerhalder is actually quite entertaining in it...he's the bad vampire, because of course there's a good one and a bad one...
Also, as you can see from the quote at the top of this post, I have been writing again. Well, I never really stopped, but apparently my creative juices flow a little better when I've got school subjects on my mind...who knew? Any way, I am still working on Jason and Kyla's story. I still really like Changing Tyde for the title, but have heard a lot of mixed responses on it, so I don't know for sure if stay or not...

Viva Las Vegas!!!

As many of you know (if not all, because I'm not shy about it) I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE the FRAY...they are totally my favorite band. So, at the begining of the year my best friend and I decided to go see them on tour this summer. At first we were going to go see them in SLC, but then decided to make a road trip out of it and go to Vegas the night before they played here. So, we've had these plans since like my birthday (which was in February) and I have been anxiously awaiting the trip.
So, after working about 45 hours in about 3 days (it really wasn't fun) I was finally off for the weekend!!!

We left on Friday morning and got to Vegas in the mid afternoon. It was so hot there, I thought I was going to die! Good thing I left Cecil at home and we took Fort's car!

The concert was AMAZINGLY AWESOME!!!! We were less than 20 feet from the stage!!! It was so great!! I knew who all three bands were, which was awesome. A group called Meese opened for them, and they are really good...they recently were one of itunes "free downloads of the week" and I absolutely LOVE their new CD...so good...you should check them out! We all were trying to figure out how to zoom in better on our cameras and didn't really get it down until half way through Jack's Mannequin...so all our pictures of Meese are kinda crappy....sorry!!

And then Jack's Mannequin performed and I have been a fan of theirs since they were on OTH a few seasons ago with a song called "The Mixed Tape"...LOVE IT!!! The lead singer of the band, Andrew McMahon, was diagnosed with leukemia a few years ago and the band hasn't toured in about 3 years or so...So this was an amazing show because he's finally healthy enough to go back out and tour! He is CRAZY...in the slide show I have added there is a picture of him standing on the keys of his baby grand piano, he then started stomping on the keys!!! We thought for sure he would break it! He was all over the stage, but it made for a highly entertaining concert!!

And then my favorite part of the night, the FRAY performed!!!! It was awesome!!! I took some awesome pictures, which are all on the slideshow below! They are not only awesome to listen to live, but really down to earth guys that are pretty funny. The lead guitarist, Joe King, was performing the song "Happiness" and was talking before he sang. They performed at the Palms in Vegas which is the Playboy hotel (if you didn't know that...I didn't know that until we got there...but I've also never been to Vegas either...) and he began his story with "I know we're a band and like touring but they gave us each our own suite...is that really necissary?" and then he talked about going into his suite that had like 3 bathrooms and 2 showers, and one of them had 5 shower heads. "Why would you need 5 shower heads?" he asked after that and then said that the suite was probably bigger than his entire house...it was pretty funny. But yeah, the show was awesome. They performed "Heartless", which I thoroughly enjoyed. It was just an awesome show!

The next day, Saturday, we got up and jumped in the pool which was so much fun, except after about 20 minutes we decided that we really should get some sun screen, so we went to Walmart really quick and got some, but my shoulders still got nice and toasty red. They are still burned...I am not a fan! But, they could be SOO much worse...imagine if I hadn't put any on at all! That would have been horrible!
It was awesome because that night I got to go to dinner with a sister from my mission! She's from Vegas so she picked me up and we went to dinner. It was great to catch up and talk about the mission. I actually don't talk to a ton of people from my mission these days. Not that I don't like to, I just am horrible at keeping in touch with people.
After dinner, we went down to the strip...yeah, it was interesting and an adventure for sure...I don't necissarily think I ever need to go back to the strip again. You can't look up, down, or really any direction without seeing some scantily clothed woman or have someone trying to give you a "lovely" card for a prostitute. GROSS. I am not a fan. They call it sin city for a reason, that's for sure. The funny thing is that there was a religous group protesting in front of the Bellagio hotel...you know, like the ones up at General Conference or any large mormon gathering. They were holding signs that said "Trust Jesus" and they were condeming everyone to Hell for being in Vegas. Those people make me laugh, and also think. Everytime I have a run in with them it makes me think about my own religion and were I stand with my Heavenly Father, which generally leads to some good heartfelt prayers. It was interesting.
But yeah, that's pretty much my trip in a nutshell! Sorry it was kinda long!! Hope you enjoyed!!

Lucky, lucky people!!

Yes, I am talking about you...you should feel lucky, because I am actually posting twice in one day, and I'm not waiting like a month between posts! Here is the latest rewrite from my book, let me know what you think. Its a break up, and this is like the 4th rewrite, but I actually think I might like this one...maybe... and I'm sorry its a little lengthy...

The cherry red Ferrari was still in the drive way, which was a good sign. I wasn’t sure what Jason had planned for tonight, he had wanted it to be a surprise, but oh how the surprise would be on him this time. I thought about putting it off, but I was supposed to be leaving for Utah in a couple days…I needed to do this now. I opened the door and walked in knowing that Jason wouldn’t mind if I did. I put my purse on the couch in the living room and walked towards the kitchen. It smelled wonderful. I had never known Jason to cook, but if it tasted as good as it smelled than he had seriously been holding out on me. He met me at the doorway to the kitchen and kissed me.
“I was about to come get you…am I running late?” We were still standing close together which on any other night would have been not only normal, but welcomed…but tonight I just wanted to say what needed to be said and be gone. I couldn’t withstand his charm forever. I took a step back and looked at my watch.
“No, I decided to come by early. I hope that’s okay.”
“That’s just fine. I thought I would surprise you with my hidden talents tonight, starting with cooking.” He took my hand and we headed into the kitchen. Everything looked so delicious too.
“Wow, Jace, I didn’t know you could cook. I am really impressed.” He looked so pleased with himself and so happy. I took a seat at the counter on a stool while he continued moving about the kitchen preparing dinner. I thought about just breaking it to him now, that things were over, that I was going back to Utah alone and that I didn’t want him to follow me out there. That every moment of happiness either of us had experienced in the last 9 months was all for nothing because I wanted out; but I was still trying to figure out how to say it in a nice way.
I stared out his huge glass windows looking out over the beach while I thought. It was a full moon that lit the whole perfectly clear sky. There were a few stars that sparkled and shined. I didn’t hear Jason come stand behind me, “Beautiful isn’t it?” he asked. I turned to look up at him as he wrapped his arms around me. He looked great tonight, and seemed happier now than any other time I’d seen him; of course this would be the day I am supposed to rip his heart out.
“It’s amazing out here. I love it.” I tried to keep my focus and not let myself get swept up in the moment and forget the task I had at hand; how do you tell someone you love that you can’t be with them anymore? He took my hand and started leading me towards the beach, “Come on” he said, “Lets go for a walk. Dinner will still be a few minutes.” At first we walked hand in hand, and then he put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer. That anxious and nervous feeling was there in the pit of my stomach, and I knew it wouldn’t really go away until I did what I knew I had to do. I had to convince Jason to let me go. I didn’t want to do it, but I knew I had to. It was the only way to keep Brooke out of his life, and mine.
After several minutes, Jason noticed the silence, “Ky, are you okay?” we stopped and he turned to face me. I was looking down at my feet pretty sure I might cry if I looked at him. Be brave, Kyla, you can do this.
I took a deep breath and then began, “Jason, these last few months have been fantastic, really they have, but I think its time we both face reality and see that this relationship isn’t going to work.” I forced myself to look at his face. Yep, the pain I saw when we first met was starting to creep its way back in. He was fighting it, though. I could tell.
“Ky, what are you talking about? Of course this can work. Where is this coming from?” He replied in a very gentle and slightly confused tone.
“We are from two completely different worlds, as much as we want to pretend you and I belong together in the end we will both end up hurt. I can’t do this anymore, I can’t pretend that being with you would ever be a normal relationship. You’re Jason Tyde, after all and no matter how much you try to hide, the world will always come to find you. As long as you are in movies, they will demand to be as much a part of your life as I ever was. I can’t be in your world, and I told you that when we first met.” I wanted to add an , Oh, PS: you’re ex wife also said she’d make me out to be a harlot in all the national magazines if I didn’t play her stupid little game, but I knew that then he’d go after Brooke and he didn’t need anymore stress when it came to her. But I wasn’t lying when I said that as long as he was in movies he’d never be free of the world; and that was a part of our relationship that I always struggled with…but I think I could have overcome it, if I had to.
“Kyla, I don’t understand. I thought things were going good. I bought a house in Utah so we could still be together. When did all this happen?” The pain was winning, and I hated hurting him. He really did mean so much to me. Just get through this and leave, I thought to myself.
“It’s kind of always been here, I tried to convince myself I could accept it, I could be with you because you really aren’t the movie star you used to be. You have changed so much since I met you, but part of you will always belong to the life you had before I came along. I can’t pretend its not there. I know we made plans, but that was when I thought I could handle everything, and I can’t. So, this is where we say good bye and I hope everything goes well for you. I think I will always love you, but right now that’s not enough.” I turned to walk back to his house so I could leave. He didn’t say anything for a few minutes; in fact the whole walk back was silent. I walked across the back porch and into the house before him. I walked into the kitchen and then I saw the small wooden box sitting on the edge of the table. I didn’t have to open it to know what it was. I picked it up against my better judgment and opened the small box and saw the sparkling diamond ring inside. I was stunned and frozen in place.
“I was going to surprise you with it tonight, but you beat me to the surprise ” I know he didn’t mean for it to be a hurtful statement, nor did it sound hurtful, but it ripped at my heart a little bit. Knowing how much we loved each other and I was walking away from it. He continued,
“Kyla, let me just say one thing before you go.” He walked over to me and took my hand in his. “You have shown me how much good there truly is in the world. You have shown me a whole new way to live. I am a better person because of you. I may not understand why you feel we can’t be together, but I will always love you and one day you’ll realize that. I’ll still be here waiting for you when that day comes.” He kissed me softly and quickly. As he pulled away I saw something new in his eyes, and in his countenance. It gave me hope that he’d be okay after I left.
“Good bye, Jason” was all I could really say. I grabbed my purse off the couch and walked out the front door without looking back.

Ha ha ha ha ha

About a year ago, my best friend, Fort, let me borrow this DVD of this guy that is supposedly really hilarious. It took me a year to watch, and really I watched because she came down and watched it with me.....but I have to say, it was HILARIOUS. His name is Demetri Martin and we were all dying of laughter. Here are a couple of clips for your viewing pleasure:



Here's another one:



And one more, just for kicks:

So, not a whole lot has been going on lately. I had the biggest crush on this guy, but have since decided that I'm sick and tired of liking guys that don't see me like that, so I am trying really hard to ignore liking him more than a friend, because he is an amazing friend.

I went and saw the movie the Proposal last weekend, and generally it was pretty good. Other than the naked part, I really liked it.
It was quite funny after the movie because I've seen the main guy, Ryan Reynolds in a few different movies now and Fort and I were talking about him and I said, "You know what, I think Ryan is the new Orlando" and her jaw dropped. For those of you that haven't known me for years and years; during my freshman year of college, Orlando Bloom was my most favorite actor EVER. I didn't think there was anyone better looking or cooler than him. My room mate even bought me an Orlando Bloom poster that hung on my wall until I went on my mission 3 years later. So yeah, Fort couldn't believe that after 6 years I was replacing Orlando Bloom with Ryan Reynolds, but there it is.

I didn't die, I promise

I am still alive. I haven't forgotten I have a blog, I just haven't known exactly what to say. Lots has been going on, I have been hanging out with a bunch of my friends and having a blast. I went and saw KEANE live a few weeks ago, which was fantastic!!
I have hung out with AHG several times and I haven't seen NNG at all...crazy, huh. Oh, speaking of ward friends... I got kicked out of my ward 2 weeks ago. NO JOKE. I have to go to the singles ward in which I actually reside. Sad day. But, it was funny because I was sad about it at first until the Lord helped me realize that I had accomplished all that I was supposed to do in that ward and that I needed to move on. So, I am moving on and going to a ward that is a fraction of the size of the one I was attending. They decided to enforce the boundaries since they were contemplating splitting the ward...and since half the ward doesn't actually live in the boundaries of the ward, they felt this was the best option. But, that's okay. I will have fun in my new ward.
Um...I only failed one of my classes! YAY! I failed Biology (B and Rich, no mocking or commenting on that one!!) I was talking to a good friend of mine who happens to be a biology major and he said that I had a really crappy teacher and to take it from someone else if I take it again. So, I will probably take it in the fall and get a much better grade!!

HELLOOOOOOOOO SUMMMER!

So, finals ended Thursday afternoon for me, and after they were over I went to my friend Becky's house to get my haircut. I know you are all dying to know how short it is...and I had pretty much made up my mind before I got there, and even before I was talking to a friend on the phone. But, said friend that I was talking to said that my hair looked cute short, so that kind of sealed the deal. And I chopped it off. We measured it...6 inches...that's how much we chopped off. I really really like it. Its still long enough to pull back when I am sick of it being down. I will post pictures later. I changed my profile pic to me a couple days ago sporting my new haircut. I love having my hair flipped out and short...I always forget how much I like it until I cut it again!

The joys of FINALS!!!!!

I had to take a break...I just had to! I can't look at another word in Spanish (until my study group at 5:30) or another stupid definition of biology! I can't wait until tomorrow when I will be DONE with those two classes!!! Pass or fail, I DON'T CARE, I will be FREE for almost 4 whole months before I get to go back to the wonderful halls of Utah Valley University!
But, on a sad note...not being in school means I won't run into no-name guy. I actually found out his name, but it was like 3 weeks that I didn't know his name. It was kind of funny. He is my friend's cousin and really kinda cute. He recognized me from last summer and we started talking. It was a lot of fun and I looked forward to chatting with him in between my classes when I was in the hall and he was getting out of class. However, I won't be seeing him anymore because now our schedules aren't the same! AND, the last day of class I was hoping we could plan something, go hang out or something like that, but this stupid guy kept asking me questions for a dumb survey and no-name guy kept walking! I was SOOO not happy! And since I haven't really talked to his cousin much, it would be weird for me to call her up and ask for his number or something...GRRR...not happy.
I have also made a new friend in the ward. Me and my Spanish class friend call him "awkward hug guy" because (as the name describes) there was an awkward hug moment. He is a hilarious guy, and I love hanging out with him. He is a hugger, always giving you a hug. The first time he gave me a hug we weren't really friends, kind of acquaintances and he gave me a hug and it was so awkward for me...I wasn't expecting it and it was just weird. Its still weird sometimes, even though we are now friends. I don't think I will ever stop calling him awkward hug guy, though...its just such a fun name.
I am really hoping this summer with be AWESOME...it should be. In July I am going to Vegas with Fort to see THE FRAY....I'm so freaking excited for that one!!!!!! Plus, maybe I will be incredibly lucky and get to hang out with NNG (no name guy) and AHG (awkward hug guy) this summer, that would prove to be not only entertaining, but also hilarious. I'll cross my fingers...
Any way, I best be getting back to studying, but at least now I have had a moment to be away from school and all of its annoyances that come with finals week. I will let you know how everything turns out!!

To cut or not to cut...That is the question

Okay...its spring time which means I am seriously tempted to cut my hair...should I? Or, should I grow my hair out longer? Here a couple picks to compare...

Here is last summer:




And here is me today, as in April 22, 2009...
From the front, and I realize I am super ultra pale...its just how I am!



And here is the back...obviously I at least need it trimmed because there are a TON of split ends...I hate split ends...


Okay, so the vote is up to you...SHOULD I CUT MY HAIR OR NOT?????? Let me know and when I decided I will post the results!!

iYo se que vive me Senor!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE Easter. It is probably my most favorite holiday because it truly focuses on the Savior. I absolutely loved Elder Holland's talk from conference a couple weeks ago and was thrilled when I found this clip on youtube and thought I would share it with all of you!!! HOORAY!!! I hope you had a fabulous Easter and if you didn't find time during the holiday, I hope you will take just a minute and watch this clip and reflect on our dear Saviors atoning sacrifice for you. Alma 7: 11-13 talks about it and all that it really means to each of us!

Snip Snip Snippet for you!

Okay, so this is another snippet of my ever growing book. This is where Kyla meets Jason post accident on the beach. She's not actually been alone in weeks because her mom has been worried and hovering over her since the hospital, so she convinces her friend, Ashley, to take her to Ashley's house so she can go for a walk alone on the beach. It takes some convincing, but Ashley finally agrees and this is what happens next:

Once I was safely away from Ashley’s view, I let a tear escape my eye and fall to the ground. I knew there was a wave of emotion dying to be released, but I held it at bay, as I had for a few weeks now. The sound of the ocean waves coming in and back out brought peace to my soul. I didn’t care where I went; I just wandered the beach until I was finally so tired that I just sat down. I was close enough to let the waves wash over my toes. I looked around to make sure I was alone, and finally opened the flood gates and let all the emotion I had hid these last few weeks come rushing over me.

I replayed my last memory of Jake over and over again. His face, that look in his eye when he told me he’d be alright, and to let him go. Being in his arms that last time, even if it wasn’t real it felt like it to me; and that was enough. I was so lost in my own thoughts I didn’t notice the changing tide until a wave taller than me came crashing down over me soaking me from head to toe. I heard my name…it sounded like Jake, and then another wave came in. I was brought abruptly back to reality and tried to stand, but the waves were pulling me deeper into the water. I saw someone walking quickly towards me as I struggled to break free of the water’s grasp. I tried to stand and slipped in the attempt, but didn’t splash back down like I was supposed to. I turned my head back to see who had caught me. He looked so familiar, but I couldn’t put my finger on how.

“Are you alright?” It was the voice I had heard earlier, calling my name. It wasn’t Jakes voice, it was his. Funny how similar they had sounded at the time, but now it was clearly not Jake’s voice. He was tall, over 6 feet tall, I’d guess. His hair was dark, almost black and cut very short; but his eyes were a crisp blue. As blue as the ocean that now surrounded me. He reached down and picked me up as if I weighed nothing and carried me further in away from the water. Once he put me down I turned to face him,

“I’m okay. Thanks for your help.” I started ringing out my hair and my clothes.

“You should really be more careful out here. The tide changes quick and if you’re not careful it will pull right out there, and then I’d have to go for a swim which I don’t really mind doing…if I’m planning on getting wet.” He said with a smirk. Even though he was smiling, it wasn’t reaching his eyes. I could see a sadness there that went deep.

“I’ll remember that. I’m Kyla, by the way.” I held my hand out to shake his. He took it and said, “Nice to meet you, Kyla. I’m Jason” I still couldn’t put my finger on why he looked so familiar. It was going to drive me crazy if I didn’t ask him, so I did.

“I realize this may sound silly, or maybe even crazy, but you look so familiar and I can’t put my finger on how I know you…have we met before?” He looked at me for a minute and then started laughing. I just stood there wondering what was apparently so funny.

“I’m sorry, I just don’t usually get that question very often. Usually there’s screaming, followed by running, and more screaming…my last name is Tyde. I’m Jason Tyde.” OH. Light bulb turns on and of course I know who he is. Who feels like an even bigger idiot? Me. Not only do I nearly get washed away, but then I don’t even recognize People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive last year….wow. I’m a loser.

“Oh gosh. Wow, I feel really stupid right now. Of course I know who you are. I’ve seen like all of your movies.” If my face wasn’t already red from the tears and the near death experience, it was now. Even if it was red before, it was a deeper red now. He just laughed again.

“Honestly, Kyla, its really nice not to be recognized right away. All the screaming and the running gets old fast. So, thank you for not making such a big deal out of meeting me.”

All Things Considered...

I was thinking a lot about life the other day. I don't know when I really found time to think, but I did and I was thinking about all the good things in life. Heaven knows we spend enough time on the bad, so I decided to just think about the good, and I was thinking of the things I am grateful for.

I am grateful for my family. Most of you who read this would fall in that category. I am so grateful for you!!! I would not be the person I am today without my family. Siblings, extended family, family I decided should be my family, etc.. I know when I am having a rough day that there will always be someone I can call to lift me up when I need it. I mentioned my dream in my last post and checked my e-mail today and had 3 comments of support. You just made my day! THANK YOU!!

I am grateful for my friends. I feel like I am always gaining and losing friends, but a select few have managed to stay my friend for some years now. I don't know what I would do without my friends. The real and true ones, you know...the ones who have proven true. I can't even count the number of times I have been shafted or hurt by those who said they were my friend. I guess its because I am always trying to see the good in people. But those friends I have kept have been the greatest.

I am grateful for school, even if I do hate it right now. I am very blessed to be able to attend a university were I can become anything I want to be. How many people really have that opportunity?

I am grateful for the gospel and how much the Lord has done for me. A year and a half is a sacrifice, but I feel that I received more blessings from going than the sacrifice it was to go. I love talking about the gospel, its one of my most favorite things, and I think its because I start and end my day in prayer...and I spend like all day talking to my Father in Heaven. I never imagined I would feel close to Him like I do now.

I am grateful for music. There is nothing that gets me in the right mood to finish a chapter of writing, or get me out of bed in the morning, or put me in the right mood to actually make it through 8 hours of class every other day.

You know, all things considered...I've got a lot of things. I think its super easy to look at all the crappy things going on in our lives, but it takes time to remember the blessings we have. At least, that's how it is for me. I tend to dwell on the negative in my mind and then I wonder why things always look gloomy. But really, I've got a lot going for me!

The Goal

So, I have decided to take the summer off from school and work on my writing. I have a new goal! I want to have the first draft of my book finished in 6 months and work on getting it published.
I know its going to be super hard, but its my goal and its something I've always dreamed of doing, but never thought I'd have the drive to accomplish it. And, not that I have it finished now, but I'm actually working at it. I have about 100 pages now and I know that if I can keep up with my current pace I will be able to accomplish my goal!

I heart SPRING!!! not Tex....

Even though it is still pretty cold AND snowed on Monday, that's okay...today was pretty and warm! This has been a fun week...other than one small little thing that kinda got to me...yeah...here's a story for you:

I have a friend. When I met him, we all called him Tex because he's from Texas. He was dating my friend at the time and she and I became best friends. Her name is Fort because she's from Fort Collins. A year or so after we all became friends Tex moved back to Utah from Texas and he and I started hanging out a lot and became really good friends. Then he went on his mission and a little more than a year later I went on mine! So, we wrote occasionally on the missions and he came back and was dating my friend again. I thought they were a great couple. But, it didn't last and they broke up. Lucky for me, though, I was never put in the middle, so I still maintained both my best friends!
So, every once in a while me and Tex do hang out, whenever we are in the same city at the same time-which isn't all that often since he's in Logan and I'm down here-but its good times when we do hang out. Well, this past week a lot of my friends have been asking me if I have feelings for Tex...where did all this come from? I haven't seen him since our birthdays (his is the day before mine). Well, he was down for spring break so we went to lunch and that day at school one of my friends from class (who has never met Tex and really hasn't heard a lot about him because I don't really talk about him all that much) asks me if I have feelings for him. I tell her no and that night I call Fort and tell her how random it is and she says "So, do you have feelings for him? I mean its cool if you do" I was shocked and surprised. She of all people is supposed to know that me and Tex are just friends! So, to set the record straight: Tex is just a friend. I don't have feelings for him other than friendship. He's an awesome friend and I do love hanging out with him. But I don't think I could ever date him. So there you go. End of story. Thanks for letting me vent. I'm glad you all understand.

And in memory of Logan, B...this one is for you:

Crash and BURN!!!!

Yeah, that's me today...crashin' and burnin'...I HATE tests. I've never been a good test taker. EVER. And today totally showed it. I studied a lot for my biology test and thought I was pretty well prepared to take it...ha ha ha...apparently I don't know the difference between mitosis and miosis and I know that B, Mike, and Rich can talk circles around me when it comes to it, but I have never been too keen at understanding Biology and today's test totally proved it. If I get a C in the class I'm throwing a huge party.
Then, I went to go take me Spanish oral exam...so not wanting to go to that one because I really don't speak Spanish all that well. I still am horrible at conjegating, especially in ther preterite. Oh, it was not good. But, I feel that it went better than could be expected. My teacher said I am very creative in my answers, I just need to work on talking in the right tense. Apparently not everything happens in the past (who knew?) ha ha ha, but he also showed me my test score from my last test. The sad thing is that I felt I'd actually done okay on that one...that I'd get a fairly decent score...boy was I wrong! It was no bueno. Mi espanol es muy muy malo! Pero, mi profesor es muy simpatico. But yeah, it was terrible. Fortunately, I went to my brothers house and we had chocolate pudding (which I will blog about later) and made everything better...until I go take my Astronomy test tomorrow! ICK!!! I hate tests in school. Whoever invented them should be shot!

Hmmm...lets talk about ME for a minute!

I felt like posting because I haven't really talked about me for a long time...probably because I'm so flippin' busy these days. I guess working 2 jobs and taking 14 credit hours in a semester is stressful/busy? Who knew? Ha ha...but for real, I didn't realize how stressed out I'd be. So, update...I am writing a lot lately. Jason and Kyla's story is coming along quite nicely. I am finally working on the middle of the story! HOORAY! I have the beginning and the ending down on paper and just need to add them to the manuscript I have on my computer. The ending hit me like a brick wall a while back and I had to write it down...it is so fabulous!
I was writing before class today and I always have my ipod on when I'm writing...it tunes out all the annoying people around me so I don't know they are there and get distracted. Any way, this guy came and sat down in the row in front of me and turned around to talk to me (I'm like mid sentence in my writing) and he pauses my ipod and then picks it up. I took out my headphones and he starts flipping through my playlists. The one I listen to when writing is titled "Inspiration" because it gets me in the right mood to write and really get into the story. Any way...I happened to be listening to a song from HSM 3 when he paused it...that was awkward... I don't generally admit to people outside of the family and close friends that read this blog that I am a HSM fan. It seems odd to be a 20 something girl that is totally single liking HSM...yeah, any way...so this guy is flipping through my playlists asking why they are called what they are called and what all the acronyms are (I have like 10 playlists that all have acronyms for titles...because its just to long to have the actual title on there!) and then he asked if I was a writer...hmmm...what gave him that idea? it was weird. Oh, and I knew him from my mission, he was one of the elders in my mission. It was a really weird experience and then class started and I got my ipod back. Did any of that make any sense?
Any way, Jason and Kyla are about to get together the first time in the story and I am totally loving it. Oh, also, I finally have a title for the story. Its going to be called Changing Tyde. Ha ha ha, its absolutely PERFECT!!! I love it!!!