Quick quick

I am actually supposed to be getting ready for work, but I wanted to post an upbeat and HAPPY post. I feel like the last few have been serious and kinda down. Not that I have been really down lately, actually I think I've been quite happy, I've just had A LOT on my mind. Like A LOT.
    It's my birthday next week! I'm so excited!! My best friend, Tex, is coming down to party down here this year (his birthday is the day before mine) and all my friends from down here are going to come party it up!! I'm so excited!!! Not for the getting older, but for the having fun with EVERYONE part...that's going to ROCK.
    So, Tex invited me to go ice fishing next Saturday morning, which is my birthday. I've never been fishing, let alone ice fishing. I think I might try and go. I think it will be fun.
    I have a random story for another post, but for now I hope you are all doing FANTASTIC and have a great weekend, since its almost here!!!!!!
PS: If you are reading this in google reader and haven't checked out my actual blog in a while, you should go check it out. I changed the name to: Adventures of a Long Lost Friend and will explain the title sometime, and also I changed layouts and backgrounds...just go look at it and tell me what you think...okay bye!

Tired of FEELING

"Every long lost dream led me to where you are.

 Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars.

 Pointing me on my way, into your loving arms

This much I know is true:
that God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you"

-Bless the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts

I feel like my emotions and senses have been on overdrive for the past month. I can't even explain how I feel because I have never previous felt it. Its worry, doubt, fear, love, and hope all laced with urgency and a few other feelings I can't pinpoint at the moment. And at the same time, I feel like I am stuck in life and am just waiting (rather patiently, if you ask me) for something to happen. And I know what I'm waiting for and I can't do a darn thing about it. I just have to wait and see. And pray, always pray.
    I have set some new goals for myself to help me accomplish the big goals I have set (ie: spending at least 10 minutes a day organizing SOMETHING in my room, then it won't be as hard to clean when I have a little more time). I am also REALLY trusting in the Lord right now to help me out. I have put my entire heart and soul on the line and am praying that everything works out alright. I found it interesting when I was praying the other day that instead of helping me ignore or get rid of some of the things I am feeling; I was praying for the strength to endure them because honestly as draining and hard as they are to deal with, I don't want to lose one second of this experience. Its hard and parts of it I absolutely hate, but I know its the path that my Father is asking me to take and if I trust in Him, then I know that my Savior will be right there by my side the whole time, and if I end up heartbroken and alone then I know that my Brother will be right there with an arm around my shoulders to help me back up and take that first step into a new horizon.
    I didn't really think much would change after my accident. I thought that the blessing I got was talking about a distant future, but its been 2 months and already EVERYTHING is starting to change. I am taking a look at life in an entirely new way and there are so many things I am noticing for the  first time, it seems like. I am seeing people in a new way, I am finding opportunities I never noticed before.
    One thing I know for certain is that everything we experience in life is for a reason, and for our benefit. I am amazed how much I have taken for granted, how much I just didn't see or realize. Its truly amazing how much the Lord cares about each of us.

"Happiness is just outside my window. I thought it'd crash blowing eighty miles an hour, but happiness is a little more like knocking on your door, you just let it in. Happiness feels a lot like sorrow, let it be, you can't make it come or go..."-Happiness by The Fray

So, the last little bit has been very interesting for me. I feel like I have been in completely foreign territory as far as my emotions have gone. Some time ago a friend confided in me some struggles they were having. It was no new information, in fact it was information I had either gathered on my own or things my friend had told me previously. But when we talked, and they actually talked to me about it, everything changed. Suddenly this friend, lets call them Jordan, was constantly on my mind. My heart ached for Jordan to come back, to see the world as I do but I realize that I can not make people see my testimony or the world as I see it.
    I have learned that we can not take things for granted, especially relationships with others. I feel like I have not told Jordan enough how much our friendship has meant to me in my life. I am always being told how I am such a good friend, how I'm always there for others...but have I let Jordan know how much their friendship has meant to me? And to be perfectly honest, I haven't. I have never told Jordan how much I have needed them in my life.
    The Lord is constantly there with me showing me so much. My journal is being filled with so many neat and very personal spiritual experiences lately. I know that we truly have a Heavenly Father, that knows and loves each and every one of us. I know that He is mindful of our situations and that he guides through our struggles. If you don't think he is there for you, then I beg you to please try and find Him. Get to know Him. He is always there, always wanting us to draw near unto Him. No struggle is so great, no sin is too terrible to keep us from the outstretched hands of our loving brother who wants to much to come to our aid in our time of need. We just have to let him in.
     So, I leave the challenge to each of you: Have you told those that are really most important in your life how much they mean to you? I mean I know that we have busy lives and we hope that those that are important know how much they mean to us...but how often do we verbalize it? How often do we tell those we love that we love them? That we appreciate all they do for us? The time is now, my friends. The time is now.

Time, time, time

It seems to me like I never have enough time. For example, it is 12:57 AM, and I need to be to work by 8:00 AM. Yeah, I know I need to be in bed right now, but my mind is still going at like a billion miles an hour.
    I decided to take a semester off and just focus on working and writing. I need to get my life more organized, and staying up this late isn't helping me at all. So, I have set a few goals for myself to better organize my time and my life in general.I'm tired of being all over the place and late to everything because I'm just not organized. In general I like living in the moment, not really having a plan, just going with the flow...but with two jobs and a calling at church that requires my time, I kind of have to put my tendencies aside and really trust in the Lord that He will guide me.
     I was so organized on my mission, and I really enjoyed it. Then I came home and I don't know what happened, but I haven't seen the carpet in my room most of the time I have been home. I don't like having a messy room, but it just sort of happened...and now its driving me insane and I hate spending time in my room, which is generally my haven. That's first thing on my list: Organize my room. The main problem is I have the smallest room in the house (which I don't really understand since I am the only kid living at home...) and more stuff than adequately fits in that room. My mom always tells me just to get rid of stuff, which is a problem when I have tons of scrapbook stuff that I would rather use than just throw away. Yeah, I am just going to go through everything and try and simplify my life. It will be a good thing.
     I have been in the mood to watch Pride and Prejudice lately and just haven't done it yet. I don't know which version I really want to watch...I think I'm kind of leaning towards the latest 2 hour version as opposed to the 5 hour BBC version. You kind of have to commit a lot of time to that one, which is something I don't really have right now. Especially since I am finally getting around to reading books I got for Christmas a year ago. My best friend gave me a book and I know he was slightly dissapointed that I never got past like the first chapter. Its not that I don't want to read it, because I do want to read it...I just haven't had a lot of time to lately. But that changes today. I will schedule some time to read. I will schedule time to organize my room. I will schedule time to play on Facebook for 30 minutes, and not more than that. I will schedule more time to blog about me super awesome amazing life...ha ha ha!!!

I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.

INVICTUS
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley

Went and saw the movie INVICTUS with Fort and my brother today. I really really enjoyed the movie, it was more than just another sports movie. It had substance and morals and I just really liked it. It was an all around awesome day. It is days like this that remind me how much I love hanging out with my brother, and Fort, but especially my brother. He's one of my favorite people and I don't take the time often enough to talk to him, let alone hang out with him. I'm really glad he's my best friend these days. I value his opinion more than most. He's pretty much one of the coolest people ever. End of story.