A New Beginning

I have gone back and forth on whether or not to post this, but here it is. This is the new opening for my book. Let me know what you think, k? Thanks!!!

KYLA

The sunshine and breeze created dancing shadows across the snow around the cemetery. I could almost hear the words of the eulogy being spoken on the air as I knelt down in the snow, I was finally here. It was cold and wet, but I didn't really notice. I touched the headstone as if touching it might help me feel closer to him, but I knew he was gone.

Jakob Andrew Sorenson

May 16, 1986 – November 20, 2010

A few tears fell silently to the ground as the memories flooded back through my mind. This was not how my story was supposed to go. My life was just about to begin, and now I felt like it had come to an abrupt end.

            “It was a beautiful service. I wish you could have been there for it.” I jumped, not expecting to see anyone. I hadn't even heard her approach. I recognized the woman's voice and looked up to see Jake's mother standing a few feet away. I stood, brushing the snow off my coat and attempting to look presentable. I was trying to think of the words to say that would somehow make this okay, but they weren't there. Instead, all I could say was,

            “I'm so sorry...” sorry for not helping him, sorry for not being here, sorry for everything...the words were not enough, they seemed like cheap filler words for an unspoken emotion. As we approached each other, she held her arms and I fell into her embrace. She held me close and tight as if she could take away the pain I was in. I was amazed at her compassion and strength. She was dealing with the loss of her oldest son, he pride and joy. He had meant the world to her, and now he was gone. All of those hopes and dreams shattered like glass across the pavement.

            “You have nothing to be sorry for, Kyla”

            “I should have been here. I should have done more. I should have...” She took a step back so she could look into my eyes. Her gaze was penetrating and sincere. There were tears in her eyes, too. I knew this was just as hard for her as it was for me.

            “There is nothing more you could have done. You were in the hospital during his funeral with a fight of your own. We all know you wanted to be here, and none of us think less of you for not coming. We are all just grateful that we didn't lose you too.”

          Jake’s family, as well as my own had been holding their breath the night of the accident. After all that happened, I should not be here right now. In fact, I shouldn't even be alive, let alone breathing on my own, walking around three states away from the horrific car accident that took Jake's life. The doctors kept telling me it was a miracle I was still alive, and when I kept improving so quickly, they said they had never seen a recovery so quick and so thorough from such a serious accident.